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What happens when a post-scarcity, post-singularity, multi-species, multi-planet society finally kluges together the universe''''s primary method of interstellar travel via space-time shortcuts? Chaos spreads across space, time, and the multiverse! This story follows a displaced victim of such a calamity as they become a mostly willing accomplice while trying to avoid being eaten by their carnivorous crewmates. The mission? To meet aliens. Eating them is more of a team-building exercise.