The Half Blind Raven and the Last Winter Wolf

  Chapter 1: A Breakfast on a Saturday Morning

  ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

  Tara Kerrigan

  “Wake up, Tara. It’s daylight out. Time for breakfast.” Andy blabbered.

  I couldn’t understand her at first, but after a few seconds, my head put the words together.

  “Give me a few more minutes. I’m still tired, and my head hurts.” I said to her.

  “You used that excuse yesterday. Your head doesn’t hurt, you’re just being lazy.”

  I sat up in my bed slowly and looked over at her. Like usual, she was wearing her auburn hair down to her back. She was watering my plants, a collection of herbs and beans growing beside the window. Even through the curtains, the sun seemed to make her warm tanned skin look prettier. She was a contrast to me. The sun only made my pale skin shiny like a mirror.

  “Jerk. My head could still be hurting, you know.”

  “If it were, you’d still be laying down, wouldn’t you be?”

  “How…”

  “I’ve gotten to know you well, little darling. So how did you sleep?”

  “I slept fine.”

  “Did you dream?”

  “Maybe…”

  “Was it a normal dream?”

  “It was sort of normal. I don’t know. What’s normal for a dream?”

  “Normal by your standards.”

  “I guess.”

  “That’s good. That’s a good sign that you don’t have a major brain injury.”

  There she went again, bringing up what had happened to me.

  “I wish you wouldn’t focus on that so much.”

  “I’m sorry, Tara. I worry about you sometimes though.”

  “You know how long it's been. The damage is already done. I can’t see out of my left eye and I’ve got a bunch of scars.”

  It had been two years since I'd been taken in, and four years since the bombs fell over the world.

  “I know. Again, I’m sorry. I’ll try to stop pressing the subject.”

  “Whatever. What’s for breakfast?”

  “I thought we could go out. It’s been a while for me, and I think you need to socialize outside of school.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yes. We can go get pancakes and juice at Mario’s stand. Maybe you’ll see that cute girl from school that you were talking about.”

  I blushed, then shoved my face into my hands. I didn’t want her to see it.

  “She’d never go for me. She likes boys anyway. I don’t get why. Men are gross.”

  “That’s because you like girls, sweetheart. Most of the rest of us ladies prefer men, even if they are gross.”

  “So you agree?”

  “Obviously. Now get up, and start getting ready. The day is young. We should enjoy it, us ladies.”

  My head shook and I faced her as she turned around to leave. She closed the door to my suite and went back to her own. I laid down again for a second and then did what she asked. Slowly, I started getting ready. My old clothes were thrown off and my eye hovered to the mirror as I spent a second looking at myself. My hair was a rat’s nest. I needed to brush it. It would need to be wetted down first so it wouldn’t just turn into a giant frizz when brushed.

  As I ruffled my hair around into a half decent state, I saw the scars again. My missing eye and the canyon in my skin going from my cheek to my brow. It was where a cannibal had slashed me with a modified pipe wrench. The pain was still a vivid memory, and the blood I could still feel running down my cheek. I still felt the pain in my chest knowing who I had lost to them. I would have been food for his band just as my parents had been, but some scouts from the fort happened upon the scene just after the fight. Just in time to save me, but not to save anything else. Not my eye or my innocence, and not my family.

  I shook the memories out of my head, and my hair danced around with it. I didn’t do it fast enough to stop myself from crying though. I dried away the few tears that came out, and then started collecting an outfit for the day. I wanted to wear a dress, so I grabbed my black gown. I decided I’d wear my flannel jacket over it and my combats with it. I got changed quickly enough and then I opened the curtains of the suite, the light flooding in and blessing the plants.

  Outside, I could see the center of the stadium where the field had been converted into an orchard and a park. I could smell the scent of apples rotting on the ground from all the way up in the stands. It made me happy to have lavender bags hung around the room. They were a gift to Andy because of her status as the town star. One of many things she had that people had given her.

  I wondered if I would eventually be her successor. I doubted it though. I didn’t have the style or the beauty to be what she was. I just wasn’t like her.

  “No. I’m a Raven, not a regal.” I joked to myself.

  I put up a folding wall between the windows and my mirror. I took my jacket off again and folded the top half of my dress to my stomach. I still had to brush my hair and I knew, with the water, it’d make a mess. I took my girl pills before I started though. I was thankful they were still able to make them despite the state of the world. I was thankful that Andy accepted me as well. Not everyone did, even if the apocalypse was going on. My peers at school did though, and so did Andy’s friends and the people at the meetinghouse. I had my groups, and I was thankful for them.

  “Ow!” I blurted as I ran the brush through my hair.

  The knots pull away into separate hairs, but it was a painful process to get them to do that. I went through again and again until eventually there were no knots left. I shook my hair around and found a few more though, so I brushed them out. Once I was done, I kept my hair down as I wanted it. My left eye was covered, I didn’t want people seeing it. I started getting dressed again and after that I was ready to go. I walked into the common suite and called out to Andy.

  “I’m ready to go!”

  “I’ll be right out, darling.” Andy called back.

  It figured that she would end up being the one who still needed to get ready. I sat down on the couch and looked out at the town below. There were homes and houses built atop the lower stands. A society had been built into the old Farrell Banks stadium. It had once been the home of the Bucks, and now it was instead the home to 1,325 people and counting. It was my home too, and I was thankful for it too.

  Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

  “Mroew!” Parker chirped from just beside the couch. He stared up at me with wide green eyes.

  “Yeah. I’m thankful for you too, stinky.” I said, reaching my hand down to pet him. His smoke gray fur rolled back as my hand went over him. He jumped into my lap and I ran my hand over him as I waited and as I watched the dusky world.

  “At least the dust is fading…”

  ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

  The walk across the stadium had been short. Most of the stores were already open for the Saturday morning rush. They were actually more like soup kitchens basically, but good ones that everyone loved. Free for all and publically run. It was better than how it had been before the end of the world.

  Andy and I both sat down with our food, having gotten it from Mario’s stall seconds earlier. Everything was ready to eat, but of course she wanted to say a silent grace. The kind of thing the Quakers taught us. We did, and then we started talking. Something we often did instead of eating.

  “So did you see her on the way here?” Andy asked.

  “No. Do you think she’s everywhere?”

  “I just wanted to ask. I do think there’s a chance she might like you too.”

  “I doubt it. I don’t look like what I was born as, so she wouldn’t like me.”

  “If you say so, darling.”

  “What? Do you think I look like a boy?!” I blurted.

  Andy gave me a stare of disapproval for getting so loud.

  “Sorry…”

  “No, I don’t. That’s not what I meant. What I meant was that I think you should give it a chance.”

  “Whatever you say, Andy. Maybe I will eventually. I don’t want to be embarrassed though.”

  “You have to take risks in life.”

  “I know, but the last one I took cost me an eye.”

  “Look who's bringing it up now.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Shut up. Not cool.”

  Andy just laughed. I shoveled a forkful of apple pancakes into my mouth and enjoyed the taste. The apples were diced just right so that they weren’t annoying to chew. All of the ingredients were grown in the stadium, under the dreary sun.

  It wasn’t all that bad, even if I would have preferred pancakes with the fake kind of syrup. That was all gone though, and only real maple syrup was left.

  “I always used to hate this stuff when I was young.”

  “What?” Andy asked.

  “Maple syrup. It’s too sweet, and the taste is weird.”

  “So you don’t like the food?”

  “I don’t mind it. It’s better than canned sardines and radioactive raccoon meat.”

  “Better than cat food even?”

  I giggled. “Yeah, definitely.”

  “I thought so.” Andy chuckled.

  “I still miss the fake stuff though.”

  “We all miss something, dear. You already know what, and who I miss.”

  “Your mentor?”

  “Yes, and spray can cheese.”

  “Gross.” I said, faking a gag.

  “It was not. It was delicious.”

  “Whatever you say, mo… Andy.”

  She gave me a side eye and stopped eating as soon as I made the mistake of saying that. Then she smiled and went back to eating. For a moment, I was in the clear, but she had to say something.

  “I love you too, dear.”

  I had to say something in response. There was a pause, but eventually I spoke.

  “Thank you for taking me in, Andy. Thank you for everything.”

  “Of course, Tara.” she said smiling.

  There was another pause before we spoke again.

  “Do you remember when they brought me in? When I woke up, I mean.”

  “Yes. I remember singing you to sleep those years ago. I remember it all.”

  “Do you ever regret taking me in, and all the time it cost you?”

  “Not for a second. You’re my little helper, and my kid too.”

  “I… you’re…” I struggled to speak. I knew she wanted me to call her my mother, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have it in me to move on.

  Just then, the alarm bell rang out over the stadium speakers. It wasn’t a cause for worry though. There were new people being brought in from the outside. A few new citizens to join the ranks of the town. It was an excuse to avoid the conversation too.

  “Can we go see who it is?” I asked.

  “Of course. As an unofficial town council member, it's basically a part of my job. Let’s finish up quickly so we can beat the crowd.”

  I smiled. I was glad to see the newbies, though guilty that I had skipped out of saying what needed to be said again. Oh well, maybe another time. We could enjoy meeting the new people together instead.

  ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

  We’d managed to beat the crowd mostly. We were close to the front row. Everyone watched and waited as they brought the new people in through the gates. I could hear the horses neighing outside as they settled in. There were whispers amongst everyone and loud talking from the guards.

  Andy stood next to me and whispered. “Think we’ll see any celebrities?”

  “Uh… I don’t know.” I muttered in response.

  The steward appeared and shouted above everyone else. The crowd quieted, and the guards went silent.

  “Settle down, everyone. I know you’re all excited, but let’s not scare these new fine people. Let’s all give them a warm welcome. If I’m reading their names right, they are Beauford Townsend, Emma Phan, and Kenny Brown. Everyone welcome them, please.”

  The guards moved aside and allowed the new group in for everyone to see. There were cheers and shouts of welcomes. The crowd started clapping, as did I and Andy. I couldn’t help but be a little suspicious though. I always was when they brought new people in. I worried that they’d be our undoing.

  I tried to ignore the unease. It was different that time though. I was more worried than usual. Something about that last name sparked a fire in me, and I didn’t know why. I couldn’t yet see the new people, but they were getting closer.

  The first two I did not recognize, but as the last one breached my view, I knew exactly who it was and why I felt filled with a burning flame. I saw that freckled, peachy face and my heart started beating as fast as it could go. I could only think of one thing to do. I grabbed the knife from my pocket and shoved through the crowd. Andy tried to grab me, but she couldn’t stop me.

  “Tara, where are you going?” she yelled. I didn’t answer her.

  I kept pushing through the crowd of people. As I burst out the end of it, I flipped open the knife and ran for the man named Kenny Brown.

  “BASTARD! I’LL KILL YOU!!” I screamed as I swung the knife at him.

  He fell back, and I missed. I felt a body slam into me as I was tackled to the ground. I hit my head and the world went dark for a moment before becoming a blur.

  Regardless of the confusion, the fire remained. I had to kill him, for he was one of the killers, and the son of the man who put the mark on my face. He was a threat to the town, and a people eater. I would make sure he didn’t have a chance to act again. I had to. As my vision returned, I tried to force myself free. The guards held me steady though, and started moving me away from the man.

  “GET RID OF HIM! HE’S A KILLER!”

  “Stargirl, what’s gotten into her? What is this?” the steward screamed.

  “I don’t know. She’s never been like this. Tara, calm down!” Andy yelled.

  “He helped them kill my family, Andy!” I yelled back.

  The small group around me went silent. They all knew what all I’d gone through. Slowly, they turned to face Kenny Brown. The two guards loosened their grips on me, but they still didn’t let me go. Instead, they turned to face him and I turned in turn too.

  “Mr. Brown, you have some questions to answer.” the steward declared. “Everyone clear out. Mr. Altman, Mr. Kaneko, Mrs. Walberg, take Mrs. Phan and Mr. Townsend to processing. Mr. Brown will be taken to the cells, and we’re going to get this all figured out.”

  “What about Tara?” Andy asked.

  “You’re both coming with us. Tara to answer questions, and you because you’re her guardian.”

  “What punishment is she facing?” Andy asked in fear.

  “That all depends on what the truth ends up being. I can’t say for sure what we will do if she tried to attack someone for no reason.”

  “She didn’t.” Kenny Brown said in response.

  Some of the crowd looked back as the whole group was being pushed to leave.

  “What was that?” the steward questioned.

  “Everything she said, it’s all true.”

  Andy looked at Kenny with as much rage as I had had, but she restrained herself. I wished she hadn’t. I wished that she had taken a gun from the guards and shot him dead.

  “Get him to the cells and away from my daughter!” Andy yelled. “RIGHT NOW!!”

  Immediately the guards did as she asked. The steward looked on, dumbfounded.

  “I’m sorry…”

  “I want him dead. It doesn’t matter how. Hang him off the balcony for all I care. Just kill him.”

  “We’ll do what we must. You’re both free to go back home.”

  Andy snorted at the steward before grabbing my hand and yanking me from the guards. She stomped away with me in tow.

  “You’d better deal with him or you’ll be dealing with me and everyone I tell about him.” Andy declared as we both left the gathered group of enforcers.

  I smiled, knowing that one more monster would be gone from the world. A very personal monster at that. I just wished I had done it myself.