The Half Blind Raven and the Last Winter Wolf

  Chapter 7: A Bar of Chocolate Between the Guards and the Killer

  ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

  Kenny Brown

  He’d given me gold in the form of food. I knew I wanted it, but in no way did I deserve it. I called the guard over to give it to him instead. When he came into the light of the moon, I noticed something about him. He was very clearly a she, though he didn’t present himself as one. Whatever, I’d play the game. That’s how the people of the city did it.

  “What’s up?” he asked. His voice didn’t give me an answer.

  “You want this? That old man gave it to me. It’s chocolate.”

  The guard's eyes went wide.

  “Well if Milkman gave it to you, I can’t take it all. Break me off half of it and you can have the rest.”

  Damn it, he was friends with the guard too.

  “Come on, just take it all. I don’t deserve it.”

  “Milkman thinks you do, so you’ll at least have to eat half. You going to give me the other half, or not?”

  “Sure, why not. I’m not eating my half though.”

  “Just do it. You’ll love it,” the guard declared.

  I shook my head, then unwrapped the bar. It was segmented so it was easy to break. The chocolate itself was a bit white from time and wear. It needed to be melted again to look proper. Regardless of its condition though, I broke it in half and gave the guard his part of it.

  “Enjoy.”

  “Thank you. It’s been years.”

  “Yeah. I bet it has,” I said to him.

  It had only been months since I had my last bit of chocolate. I really didn’t deserve the half a bar I’d been given.

  I heard the break of old chocolate against the teeth of the guard and watched as he leaned closer. His green painted vest creased against the bars. The moonlight hit his face and showed him and all his features. In it, I continued to doubt that he was what he presented himself as. I had to admit though, regardless of what he was, he was kind of cute though, in some sort of way.

  “So do you want anything else to eat? I can call to have someone else bring you up a can or something. There’s a microwave in here I can heat it up in.”

  “I don’t want anything else, but thank you.”

  “No problem. I just figured I’d offer since I ate the meal that was supposed to be for you. You missed a good one, by the way. Veggie soup and cornbread. I loved it.”

  “I’m glad someone got to enjoy it.”

  “Yeah. So is your nose doing alright? The doctors set it while you were out. It took most of the damage, but your cheek does have a little bit of rug burn.”

  “I noticed. It still hurts.”

  “I can get you some painkillers or some booze if you want.”

  “No, thank you.”

  “Suit yourself,” he said in response. “If there is anything you want, just ask. If you have any questions, you can also ask. I’ve got all night, and I’m hopped up on good vibes, so I’ll answer any question you’ve got.”

  There was that burning question I had, but I didn’t want to offend by asking. There were other questions I could ask though. I owed it to the guard who was stuck keeping me company. I’d probably stolen his night.

  “So what’s your story?” I asked.

  “Oh, uh… I’m just a standard guard. Been here for about 4 years and 7 months. I found my way in with my uncle; Roger, and my cousins; Chloe and Yvonne. They’re the last family I’ve got left, but it’s alright. They raised me until I was ready to leave home.”

  “How old are you? You still look like a kid.”

  He laughed aloud. “Yeah, I get that a lot. It’s probably because I’m trans. I’ve got a girly face. Surgeries aren’t really available right now to fix that. I’m stuck with these too, as a result.” he said, pushing up on his chest.

  He laughed a bit before speaking again.

  “At least the vest hides them a little bit. Anyways, back to the other conversation. I’m twenty two. My birthday was last month.”

  “I had a suspicion about that, you being a transgender, I mean.”

  “Most people do. Thanks for not being rude about it though. Though, I prefer the word trans.”

  “Alright, I guess. So… were you?”

  “I was born a girl, yeah. None of that matters now. That’s two decades and one apocalypse ago.”

  “I guess it is. So how’s the chocolate?”

  “Delicious! Much better than maple oat bars.”

  “I bet.”

  “You should try your half. It’ll melt if you keep holding it.”

  “I…”

  “Go on and just do it.”

  “Fine.” I relented. I lifted up the bar and broke it in half, taking a bite out of the first half. I pocketed the rest for another time. The taste wasn’t bad, and I was glad to experience it, though I really didn’t believe that I ought to have eaten it myself.

  “Good?” he asked.

  “Yeah, good.”

  “Good!”

  I chewed on the first bite of chocolate and then shoved the rest of the bar into my mouth. It went down quickly while the guard was still eating his half.

  “You sure you’re not hungry?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Alright then.”

  “So what’s your name then? Have you changed it yet?”

  “Yep. I changed it when we got here and I started the injections. I’m Percy Lycos.”

  “Lycos? Is that Greek?”

  “Yep. The name is sort of Greek too. I named myself after the character from a Greek mythology series. Sometimes I’ll go by Percival too though.”

  “Oh, yeah, I wondered.”

  “Yep. I read them cover to cover, over and over again when I was a kid.”

  “I never read them, but I watched the movies a couple of times.”

  “Oof, yeah, those sucked.”

  “They kind of did, I agree.”

  He smiled, then he spoke again. I sort of wish he hadn’t, because I was just starting to forget what he then brought up again.

  “You’re not so bad for a cannibal kid.”

  I looked away from him and at the ground, then I looked back and tapped my head against the bars.

  This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

  “I’m sorry!” he bleated.

  “No, you’re right to remind me. I was starting to forget there. Can’t be doing that.”

  “Damn it. I screwed up.”

  “You didn’t. Thank you, actually. You brought me back to reality.”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “You did. I’m going to go to bed. Have a good night, Percy. Thank you for the conversation.”

  Back to my cot I walked. Percy looked like a dog that had been scolded. He walked back to the guard table and sat in a cozy looking chair beside it. I didn’t want him to hate himself, but I couldn’t muster the energy to talk anymore. I wanted to sleep again. I had to get the time over with somehow. Once I was free, I would run. I would never see the city again.

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  “Wake up, sleeping beauty!” a voice yelled.

  In a few seconds the realization of who it was came to me. Who it was was Griffith.

  “What do you want, Griffith, or, Mr. Robertson.”

  “Griffith is fine. I’m here to deliver your breakfast personally.”

  “What is it today, and where’s Percy?”

  “Probably sleeping. His shift ended while you were out, and it’s oatmeal with lots of fruit.”

  “Dang. I would have liked to say goodbye to him. What kind of fruit?”

  “Apple slices. There’s also maple sugar in it, and don’t worry, he’ll be back tonight.”

  I shook my head in acknowledgement

  “What if I’m allergic?” I asked about the first sentence.

  “Your chart listed no allergies. Why would you lie?”

  “You got me. I didn’t. I shouldn’t be having those pleasantries though. Just plain oatmeal would do.”

  “You need your fruity vitamins too.”

  “Give me vitamin pills then.”

  “Buddy, those are for emergencies only. They’re in short supply. It takes Socksville a while to make new ones.”

  “I’m sure it does. I’m sorry.”

  “Besides, you deserve some good food after being out there for so long.”

  I shook my head at the idea of that.

  “Sure. By the way, I’m sorry for trying to run off on you. I didn’t think about how it would affect you if you had to kill me.”

  “Well, even if I didn’t kill you, The Steward still punished me by giving me a shift on the guard detail watching you. Politely, don’t try that again.”

  “I won’t. Also, I’ve got something for you.”

  “What’s that?” he asked with a slight smile. It grew even wider once I pulled out what I had. The other half of the chocolate bar. It wasn’t something I wanted to eat all on my own. I owed it to him too.

  “Holy fuck! Is this real?!”

  “Take a taste. Break a piece off. It’s real.”

  “Where did a hooligan like you get this?”

  “The old man. What’d he call himself? Oh, The Milkman.”

  The guard laughed and then put the quarter bar in his pocket instead of eating it. It confused me why he would do that. Most people would have taken a bite right away. Then again, he did have a family from what I remembered. He had to be saving it for them.

  “Well that fucker’s still holding out. Thank you, Kenny. You’re forgiven for everything you put me through. How’s the nose, by the way?”

  “It hurts, but I don’t want any pain meds.”

  “Yeah. You broke it. They didn’t set it the best either. You’re probably going to be stuck with a crooked nose.”

  “Oh well. I was never much to look at anyways.”

  “True that. You’re a little more than plain looking, and not in the best way.”

  “Thanks, Griffith. You really know how to be truthful.”

  “Yes I do. I call it how I see it. Now, eat up before it gets cold.”

  “Fine. I’ll have a little,” I said to him. With a steady hand, I lifted a spoonful to my mouth. The taste was exquisite and sweet. The sugar crystals had melted and left the taste of maple in every bite. The sour sweet apples complemented the flavor greatly.

  “Mmm. This is good stuff.”

  “That it is.”

  “Are you going to eat the chocolate?”

  “Why? Do you want it back?”

  “No. I just wondered why you weren’t eating it.”

  “I’m a family man. My kid and my wife come first. I’ll take it home and offer it to them first. They get the first pick of whatever I get.”

  “That’s honorable of you. I hope your kid enjoys it.”

  “It’ll be her first taste of chocolate. It might be her last too. There ain’t much of the stuff left up here.”

  “Enjoy it while it lasts then.”

  “That’s the way to do it. I’m going to go put it in the fridge so that it doesn’t melt. Don’t let me forget about it when I leave.”

  “I won’t. I owe you that.”

  “Thanks.”

  “No problem,” I whispered as I put the bowl down on a side table by my bed.

  I’d eaten enough that I wouldn’t starve, but I didn’t want to eat much more. I thought that maybe I’d come back to it later on. Maybe I would, or maybe I wouldn’t. I wish they wouldn’t have given me so much though, for I didn’t want it to be wasted. So much food, and so many starving people. Why did I deserve it more than the rest?

  Leaving the food behind, I looked out the windows at the forest growing below me. The field itself was lush with trees, bushes, and other sorts of plants. The lower stands consisted of one and two story brick and mortar houses built onto the concrete. From where and what I could see, the upper stands were used as gardens just like the center. It looked like how one would imagine Babylon.

  Elevators existed to pull crates of fruit and other things between the levels and pipes existed for the purpose of sending out water to the fresh looking dwellings. All of that I saw from the jail cells built at the very top level of the upper stands of the stadium. Somewhere above where the stewards met and somewhere close to where music played, for I could hear it through the floor. The sights I saw were refreshing images of rebirth compared to the destruction of the world that existed outside, and the music that played was new, and gave me hope for the future.

  “It’s a beautiful place, Griffith.”

  “Yes it is.”

  “So where do the pipes get their water from?”

  “Aquifers below the ground. That’s where all the water in the city comes from. By that, I mean the whole city. Everything in Somerset.”

  I nodded my head in acknowledgement.

  “So y’all have water pumps somewhere in this stadium?”

  “That’s something that I don’t feel comfortable telling you.”

  “That’s fair. Completely understandable.”

  “It is what it is, Kenny. Even Fort Resilience has its secrets.”

  “If you don’t mind my asking, how many people do y’all have here? Am I allowed to ask that?”

  “You’re starting to seem suspicious, but I’ll answer your question. There are 1,328 souls calling this place home.”

  “Jesus! All in the stadium?”

  “Some in the stadium and some in the old apartments and the new houses built on the lots. We’ve built a lot of stuff using bricks and cement.”

  “How the hell do you feed everyone?”

  “Most people here eat smaller meals than what they did before the apocalypse. No more buffets and triple patty burgers. Meat is a bit more of a luxury too. It’s not an everyday thing. Beyond that, we fertilize the fields with ashed waste and chicken shit to keep them producing. Potatoes, beans, and wheat products make up most of our diet. It’s quite effective. The rest is oats, barley, and other crops for taste on the leftover land. When we do get meat, it’s during the end of the year and then we get fish during the summer.” he said before taking a moment to breathe.

  “We’ve gotten lucky so far, but we’re always looking for ways to expand so we can have excess instead of just being on the border of enough.”

  “Sounds like you’re one bad year from starvation.”

  “No. We have food stored. We’ll survive. We might have to ration more eventually, but it’ll work out.”

  “I hope it does, but my faith is limited. If y’all are relying on luck, you’ll eventually find yourselves running out of it.”

  “It’s not that bad. Worst comes to worst, we’ll just have to start farming outside of the walls.”

  “Is it safe?”

  “It’s getting there. Most of the wolves are either dead, or they’ve put down their guns and rejoined society.”

  “Wolves?”

  “That’s what we call what you used to be. They’re winter wolves. People who turned to hunting and killing when the times got tough in the dead of the nuclear winter. It’s been a little while since we’ve seen any though. The city’s gone quiet. Hell, maybe we’re lucky and you’re the last one to come running in from the rain.”

  “I doubt it. There’s always more bad people.”

  “Hey, we’ve gotta be hopeful just as much as we have to be vigilant.”

  “I guess. Anyways, if it came to it, I’d be willing to fight to defend your people. You all seem like good folk. Better than my folk.”

  “We’ve got plenty of guards and scouts already. Besides, you’re already going to be restricted here. I don’t think the stewards would approve of making you a part of the defense force.”

  “That’s plenty true. Maybe I’d be better off as a farmer then. I’m willing to work myself to death and I’ve worked on the fields before. I could do it again.”

  “That’s an idea, a good one. As soon as the vote is decided, I’ll have to tell Steward to look into it.”

  “Thank you, Griffith. I think that would be good. It’d be a way for me to do something good with my worthless self.”

  “Ah, don’t say that, and eat the rest of your food. We don’t need that shit going to waste.”

  “Sorry.” I replied.

  “You’d better be. Eat up.”

  I nodded to him again and did as he said. I didn’t want to, but it was wrong to waste it as he said. Food was precious, and it couldn’t be wasted. I still wished they wouldn’t have given it to me though.

  “Someone else deserves this more than me, you know that, right?”

  “Possibly, but everyone else in the town is already eating. Everyone in Fort Resilience, Socksville, Bayer Grove, Dockland, and Pearson is eating their breakfast right now or they already have eaten their breakfast. You shouldn’t be the other person who doesn’t get to.”

  “Are you sure everyone’s eaten?”

  “We don’t let people go hungry here. I’m sure.”

  “Alright,” I murmured.

  Still, I was unsure, but I couldn’t waste the food, and I was growing hungry again. I had to eat to build my strength. Maybe I would run or maybe I would stay. If I stayed, I would just be another mouth to feed, but maybe I could help them grow food too. I could help. I wanted to help.

  “No, think of the girl,” I thought to myself.

  I nearly choked on my food as the memories came back again. No, I had to leave. I couldn’t stay, not for anything. She didn’t deserve that. None of them deserved to suffer my being there. I couldn’t stay, so I would leave. As soon as I could, I would run. I would go back out into the wastes, and if I starved again, I would let myself die. I would never eat a person again. I wouldn’t be weak of will again. If I were to die, then I would die. Nobody would mourn me, and that was how I knew it should be.