But nothing—absolutely nothing—could have prepared him for the World-Severing Lightning of the Seventh Hell.
It struck during what should have been a peaceful meditation beneath a plum blossom tree. One moment he was in perfect stillness; the next, the skies howled, the clouds tore, and a bolt of purple-black lightning shaped like a laughing monkey slammed into his forehead.
Everything exploded.
When he came to, he was lying in a field of what seemed to be... plastic corpses?
Dozens of fake warriors lay around him, limbs awkwardly bent, eyes glassy. Behind them: enormous machines with blinking red lights, cables coiled like spirit-snakes, and a large sign on a tent that read:
《Immortal Sword: Rise of the Blossoming Tyrant》
Filming in Progress
Shanan sat up. The air smelled of hairspray, instant noodles, and something disturbingly metallic.
– Hey! You okay? – someone called.
A headset-wearing woman in skinny jeans rushed over and waved a clipboard.
– You weren’t in this scene, but wow—you look amazing. Where’d you get that robe? Did the costume team do a late drop?
– I crafted it from the silk of Sky-Spiders and the breath of mountain fog – Shanan replied.
– ...Deep lore. Love that. Okay, background team, we’re rolling in three!
Before he could correct her, someone shoved a plastic spear in his hand, turned him around, and positioned him in front of a large camera surrounded by spark machines. Across from him stood a young man with flawless skin, perfectly mussed hair, and the self-assured aura of someone who had never known failure.
This was Qian Yul.
Star of the show. Idol of the nation. Known for his swordplay, smirking, and thousand-yuan skincare routine. He radiated sweetness on screen—winked in interviews, cried on cue—but behind the scenes, he was pure vinegar.
When he saw Qi Shanan, his smile flickered.
– Who’s the new extra? – he muttered.
Why is his robe better than mine?
The director, oblivious, yelled:
– Action!
Shanan, confused and mildly annoyed, turned to the demon-actor charging at him in foam armor—and promptly blasted him twenty feet with a palm strike.
The crew screamed. The demon-actor sobbed.
– That. Was. Amazing! – someone shouted.
Qian Yul’s eye twitched.
—
Over the following days, chaos blossomed like spring trees.
Shanan, having nowhere else to go and assuming this was some trial-realm constructed by fate, remained on set. He was given more lines. Then a full scene. Then a character arc. Fans online dubbed him “Immortal Daddy.”
Qian Yul fumed silently as he watched his spotlight shrink by the hour. First, Shanan stole his fan cam views. Then, a perfume sponsorship. Worst of all: he actually knew how to wield a sword. Gracefully. Authentically.
– You’re overstepping – Yul hissed one day during a break.
This is my show.
– I do not understand – Shanan said, sipping from his gourd.
I was merely asked to recite lines and correct the formation of your energy channeling gestures.
You were about to rupture your spleen.
– That’s called acting!
– So is lying.
– …What?
– I was complimenting you.
***
Despite sabotage attempts involving sneaky script changes, wire tampering, and a truly awful protein shake, Shanan continued to rise in fame.
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
He thought little of it—mostly wondering when the heavens would give him a sign to return.
Then came the premiere.
A grand red carpet.
Flashing lights. Fans screaming.
Shanan, robed and regal, stood next to Yul, who barely managed a smile as photographers shouted:
– One more! Immortal Daddy! Look here!
And above them—
Thunder rolled.
The clouds tore again.
From the sky descended a familiar, howling arc of purple-black lightning—the same World-Severing Lightning of the Seventh Hell, grinning like a monkey, heading straight for—
Qian Yul.
– No no no no—
ZAP.
The carpet exploded.
The crowd screamed.
When the smoke cleared, Shanan stood alone.
***
Meanwhile, somewhere in a misty bamboo forest, a very confused Qian Yul staggered to his feet in an ornate robe far too real for comfort.
Across from him, a demon beast roared.
A voice rang out from a cliff above:
– Disciple, is that you? You're late to sparring.
Yul opened his mouth to protest—
Then saw the sword hurtling at him.
***
Back in the modern world, Qi Shanan stood before a poster of himself plastered across an entire metro station wall.
The caption read:
“Immortal Sword: Blossoming Tyrant 2 – Starring Qi Shanan”
He nodded once, serenely.
– I suppose this realm has its uses.
***
Epilogue: The Cultivation of Qian Yul
Qian Yul, former top-billed actor, heartthrob of ten million fans, and self-declared master of smoldering glances, was currently:
- Covered in mud,
- Being yelled at by a bearded man who called him “junior melon-head,”
- Holding a very real sword that hummed ominously whenever he sighed.
Nothing here had a filter. Or a stylist. Or a Wi-Fi signal.
On the third day, he tried to ask for a break.
The sect master made him run up a waterfall instead. Twice.
On the fifth day, he wept openly during pill-forging class and accidentally blew up a cauldron.
On the seventh, he discovered that the toilet was, in fact, just a pit.
He questioned everything.
But on the tenth day, something strange happened.
As he stood beneath the moon, grumbling to himself about cuticles and proper lighting angles, a quiet qi stirred in his dantian. It was small. Warm. Real.
– …Huh – he muttered. Am I… cultivating?
A frog croaked in response.
Somewhere in the trees, a crane approved.
***
Months later, a new legend began to circulate in the Misty Cloud Mountains:
The Pretty One Who Cries While Training.
He wasn’t very strong.
He wasn’t very smart. But he never gave up, and his eyeliner somehow never smudged.
That, too, was a kind of cultivation.
***
Two Years Later
(bonus post-credits scene)
Beijing, 2027.
At a bustling fan convention titled “Cultivators & Cosplay: Realm Fusion Expo,” a curious new booth attracted a steady line. It was minimalist—just a scroll banner reading:
“Sword Lessons – Free Demo by the Real Deal”
Instructor: Qian Yul
A girl in a cat-ear hoodie whispered to her friend:
– Wait… isn’t that the actor who vanished during that weird red carpet thunderstorm?
Her friend squinted at the tall, slightly-sunburnt man in traditional robes who was currently demonstrating a basic sword form with alarming grace.
– That’s not cosplay – she murmured. That’s trauma-based accuracy.
Qian Yul smiled serenely, bowed, and handed the practice sword to a nervous ten-year-old.
– You’re doing better than I did – he said.
I cried the first month. And the second. And the third.
Behind him, a poster fluttered in the breeze:
“Now Available: The Crane Cries Twice – a new memoir by Qian Yul”
***
Meanwhile, in a plush trailer on the set of Immortal Sword: Blossoming Tyrant 4, Qi Shanan sipped herbal tea, casually flipping through a fashion magazine.
He paused at a perfume ad featuring Qian Yul in full sect regalia.
The scent was named: "Heaven’s Regret."
Shanan chuckled softly.
– The boy has finally learned… to act.
Outside, someone knocked on his trailer door.
– Master Qi, they’re ready for your close-up!
He rose, adjusted his robes, and stepped into the light.
***
Extra-Extra Scene: Fan Letters from the Realms
?? Fan Letters to the Immortal & the Idol
From: "SwordBaby_88"
To: Master Qi Shanan
Subject: Pls adopt me ?????
Dear Esteemed Immortal Sir,I just want to say THANK YOU for showing us that real sword skills still exist. ??When you did that palm strike and the fake demon actor actually flew?
LEGEND.
My dad cried.
My grandma cried.
I ascended.
Also, do you take disciples via DM? Asking for a friend. (It's me. I'm the friend.)
With eternal reverence,SwordBaby_88#GrandpaSlays #QiShananCoreCultivationClub
From: "YullieForever97"
To: Qian Yul
Subject: COME BACK ????
Dear Yul-ge,You’ve been gone for TWO YEARS.
I’ve rewatched Immortal Sword S1 like... 17 times.
Why is your last IG post just a frog emoji??
Are you okay??
Do you need moisturizer?
PLEASE come back.
Modern life is empty without your side smirk and 14-step skincare reels.
P.S. That new guy is cool or whatever, but he's NOT YOU.P.P.S. Who names a perfume "Heaven’s Regret"? That sounds like your therapist made it.
~Desperately yours,YullieForever97
#BringBackYul #NotMySectLeader
From: "Daddy4Qi"
To: The Production Team
Subject: More sleeves, less CGI
Hello,
I’m 72 and haven’t enjoyed a show this much since Legend of the Lotus Boy in 1982.
This Qi Shanan fellow?
He acts with his eyebrows.
I don’t know what he's saying half the time, but I feel it in my bones.
Please give him more scenes with robes, flowing sleeves, and tea-drinking close-ups.
Less CGI dragons.
More gliding across bridges like back in the day.
Sincerely, Margaret “Sleevewatcher” Liu
From: "LilCrane_Cultivator"
To: Qian Yul (if this still reaches you?)
Subject: Your Memoir Saved Me ????
Shixiong,Your book The Crane Cries Twice made me laugh, cry, and reevaluate my life choices.I'm currently in a beginner tai chi class and trying not to cry during every stance.
You gave me hope.
Also, pls confirm: was chapter 14 based on a real demon or just your drama teacher from high school?
Forever cultivating (badly),LilCrane_Cultivator
#MelonHeadToMaster #SectOfTears
Author’s Note
(a.k.a. Cultivator’s Corner Mini-Theatre)
Scene:
A modest celestial tea stand floats midair.
Qi Shanan sips from a porcelain cup.
Qian Yul leans dramatically against a paper crane-shaped chaise.
A fan flutters somewhere.
So does the budget.
Ah. So you've reached the end of our little tale. Enlightenment? Fame? Mild secondhand embarrassment?
mutters I still think the lightning targeted me on purpose.
You did say, “No storm can touch me,” - moments before the heavens disagreed.
I was in character!
Also, I’d like to formally request a spin-off.
You had one.
You cried in it.
Twice.
And it sold out in three realms! pauses Wait. Are we… just figments in someone’s novel?
lifts teacup If so, I hope they gave us good art and better angles.
At least no one drew me with a beard this time.
Yet.
Thanks for reading!
If you enjoyed the ride, don’t forget to bow politely to the clouds, hydrate like a sect elder, and never trust a lightning bolt with a sense of humor.
See you in the next realm~