Removed from the situation, I was confident that even if Donavon had read the letter—and I assumed he had—he hadn’t shared it with his father. If there was even an iota of truth to Erik’s words, he would already know if Donavon had indeed reported the note to Mac. At the very least, Erik would have been sanctioned for his bold statements. Donavon and Erik’s dislike for one another ran deep, and I would’ve thought that Donavon would jump at the chance to get Erik in trouble. The fact that he didn’t take the opportunity was telling; I was just unsure what exactly I was being told.

  Snug under my covers once again, I closed my eyes and opened my mind. I found Donavon back in his room. Then I heard his mental voice in my head.

  “You’re back early. Want me to come over?”

  I didn’t answer him. I had no idea what I wanted. The intense physical reaction to Erik’s kiss was an indication that my feelings for him were stronger than ever. His touch unlocked a part of me that only he could reach, and the way that I felt about Donavon would never compare.

  Penny was right; I should stay away from Donavon. I’d told Penny that I would. But I thought that if I asked Donavon directly about the blood transfusion, he wouldn’t lie to my face.

  Sure, he’d omitted the fact that he was sleeping with Kandice; but he’d never bold-faced lied to me, mostly because he couldn’t. The connection that we’d forged made it impossible for him to keep me out of his mind if I wanted in.

  “Talia?” Donavon’s mental voice interrupted my thoughts. I still refused to answer him. “Talia, I’m coming over.”

  Several minutes later I felt him approach, and I unlocked the door to my room. He pushed the door open and walked into my darkened space. I could make out his silhouette as he made his way towards me, but all of his features were no more than shadows. He knelt down beside the bed.

  “Talia?” he said tentatively.

  “Why didn’t you tell me that you were there in Nevada?” I blurted out. After everything that I’d already been through tonight, tact was low on my list of priorities. He heaved a big sigh, and for a second I thought that he might not answer.

  “I didn’t know what to say to you. My father wouldn’t let anyone near you when you first got back. Then when you came down here, you wouldn’t speak to me. And when you finally did start coming around, I wasn’t really sure how to bring it up.” His voice was tight, but he sounded like he was telling the truth. I scanned his mind, and found the same ribbons of panic that I sensed earlier. I contemplated pushing through his barricade, but I lacked the strength.

  “Why didn’t you tell me that they gave me your blood?” I demanded.

  “I didn’t want you to think that you owed me something.” He placed his hand on my back. “I’m sorry, Tal. If I’d known that it would upset you so much, I’d have told you myself.”

  “Why was your father so mad at you for doing it?” I felt Donavon’s hand tense, and he gripped a handful of my tank top. The trickles of panic leaking through turned to gaping holes, and he desperately tried to patch the damage. Donavon was afraid of his father, terrified that if Mac found out that I knew about the blood transfusion he would be furious. I’d already surmised that Mac didn’t want me to know, but Donavon’s distress seemed extreme.

  “Well, for starters, it’s against protocol. Direct blood transfusions are extremely dangerous, and we had no idea what had been done to you. Your body might have rejected the transfusion. I should’ve known better, but . . . well, I was scared. The Medics said that you might die. I wasn’t thinking straight. And honestly, I didn’t care about protocol or the consequences of my actions, or anything else. I couldn’t just sit there and let you die.”

  “I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal. You probably saved my life. Are you sick or something?”

  “I’m not sick. It’s just extremely dangerous to give anyone unfiltered blood. You know that. Dad said that it was even more dangerous because we had no way of knowing what else was in your bloodstream and how it would react. We have no idea what kind of technologies the rebel coalition has.”

  I turned to face him. “Is the transfusion really why you aren’t a Hunter anymore?” I asked softly.

  Donavon exhaled loudly. “Yes, it is. Captain Alvarez said that he would excuse the breach of protocol, but my father wasn’t as lenient. He said that I was on suspension until I learned to follow orders. Dad probably would have let me go back once he calmed down, but when you gave your report and he realized that we had a spy, he decided to keep me here to help him investigate.

  “Wow, Mac was really that angry?” I knew that Mac’s tolerance for rule breaking was low, but usually Donavon and I were granted exceptions. Some might even argue that I broke the rules more than I followed them.

  “Yeah. He was, but he’s over it now,” Donavon promised with a small smile. Once again I knew that he was lying. The fear rolling off of Donavon was palpable; Mac was definitely not over it.

  “The other night after I had the seizure, Mac told you not to do something ...what was it?” I held my breath as I waited for his answer. I’d just assumed that Mac had told him not to get me excited again, but now I wondered if Mac had been reminding him not to tell me about the transfusion.

  Donavon sank back on his heels and looked absently at the wall. He chewed his lip, debating whether to lie.

  “You said that I could trust you. Tell me the truth, Donavon,” I begged him. I felt like the future of our friendship hinged on his answer right now. If he lied to me again, I would never trust him.

  I was certain that Donavon knew how crucial his next words were. It was as if, in this moment, I was asking him to choose between me and his father. If he told me the truth, he would be betraying a promise that he’d made to Mac. If he lied, he would lose me forever.

  I thought about letting him off the hook. After all, I didn’t really need his verbal confirmation—his hesitancy to answer was enough. And even if he told me the truth, it was too late. Trust or no trust, I didn’t love him like that anymore.

  “Never mind about the other night,” I said finally. “But I do wish that you’d told me about the transfusion.”

  Donavon turned his head to look at me again. “I do, too. I should have told you that I was your knight in shining armor,” he joked, trying to lighten the mood. He tentatively reached for me, and when I didn’t pull away, he stroked my cheek with the back of one finger. “I am really sorry, Tal. Dr. Thistler and the Medical team working on the equalizer know about the transfusion. If there are any repercussions, they’re already being factored into your treatment.”

  Of course, Dr. Thistler knew. I was always the last to find out.

  Donavon’s words hung in the minute space between us.

  I stared into his blue eyes and wondered what other secrets he was keeping from me. Donavon looked miserable, and part of me felt badly for him. I’d been trapped in Mac’s house for nine months while I recovered from my physical injuries, but he would always be trapped in his father’s shadow. Mac’s control over me was strong, but his hold on his son was absolute.

  Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

  “Were you the one who found me?” I asked quietly as Donavon leaned his head against my mattress, his hair tickling my face. I already knew that he was; it was the only explanation for his having had Erik’s letter.

  “Yes,” he whispered. “I was.”

  “So, you found my letter?” I wanted him to admit it, to tell me the truth about something.

  Donavon tensed. “Yes,” he mumbled. “I did.”

  I scrambled to get the next question out before I lost my nerve. “Did you read it?”

  “No.”

  With that one word, my mental tally of Donavon’s lies had another hash mark.

  ***

  The next morning, I felt Donavon stir, well before sunrise. I peered up at him through narrow slits and mumbled a nearly incomprehensible goodbye. Letting him sleep in my bed after everything that happened seemed wrong, but he’d been so upset after our conversation that I’d been unable to turn him away.

  Just as I’d been sure that Donavon had read the letter, I was sure that he hadn’t told his father. He’d practically shut down after I’d mentioned it. His thoughts had become troubled and darkness had enveloped him, shrouding him in an impenetrable cloak of sadness that was so bleak I’d been scared about what lay beneath the folds. Even after he’d fallen asleep, he’d been restless, tossing and turning fretfully throughout the night.

  “Sleep, Talia,” he whispered in my ear as he kissed my cheek.

  I nodded and returned my lids to their closed position. I didn’t open them again until my alarm went off. The sun was just coming up over the horizon, casting a pink tint on my beige carpet. How early had Donavon left? Rolling over, my face made contact with the pillow that he’d slept on, and the smell of his cologne filled my nose. The familiar scent was comforting and unsettling all at once. Being around Donavon was like having a security blanket; despite all of the lies and secrets, he always relaxed me.

  Even after he’d admitted everything about the transfusion and what happened in Nevada, he’d still kept Mac’s real reason for keeping it from me. I could’ve pushed, but I wasn’t sure that I really wanted to know why. There was no explanation that Donavon could give that would make Mac’s omission okay in my eyes. I could understand why Donavon hadn’t told me; I didn’t like it, but I understood. Mac, on the other hand, had spent countless hours with me during my recovery and had plenty of opportunities, yet he’d conveniently left out both Donavon’s presence and the blood transfusion.

  After I was fully dressed and had succeeded in making my curly hair stick-straight, I checked all of the messages from the night before. One was from Donavon before he’d come to see me. One was from Penny, checking to make sure that I was okay after my near-breakdown in the Crypto Bank. And one was from Erik. It came in after Donavon and I had fallen asleep. All the message said was that he was back at headquarters, and to call him when I got the chance.

  My heart fluttered in my chest, and a tingly sensation warmed me from the inside out at the sound of his voice. My fingers automatically flew to the reply button before I remembered that there was nothing I could say to him that the omnipresent ears of the Agency wouldn’t flag. If that happened, we’d both be hauled in for unpleasant questioning. Instead, I busied myself by tidying up my bedroom and bathroom, and thought about a way to communicate with him without being monitored. I came up empty.

  Realizing that if I didn’t leave soon I would be late for my standing appointment with Dr. Thistler, I headed for Medical. As I sat on the crinkly white paper that covered the examination table, waiting for Dr. Thistler to administer my injection, I contemplated asking her about Donavon’s blood transfusion. If his blood really was clean, then she should be able to put my fears to rest. But when I remembered the terror that Donavon had felt as he worried about his father finding out that I knew, I decided against coming out and asking her directly.

  “Dr. Thistler?” I asked, drawing her attention away from the entries that she was making on her electronic pad.

  “Yes, dear?” she replied, fixing me with a cold, gray stare.

  “Is it possible that whatever is causing my seizures is a result of the blood transfusions that I received on the plane, or in Kansas?” I carefully observed her reaction, but her face and her thoughts remained neutral.

  “No, dear, it’s not,” she answered flatly.

  “Are you sure? I mean, isn’t it possible that some of the blood was . . . I don’t know, contaminated?”

  “All of the blood used for transfusions is filtered and scrubbed clean,” she insisted, plastering a slightly manic smile across her worn face. Donavon had said that Medical knew about his blood, which meant that Dr. Thistler knew; but she wasn’t about to admit to it for some reason.

  “I really need to see some other patients, dear. Your levels look good today. I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, she practically ran from the room before I had the chance to ask any more questions. Great. Now my only option was to ask Mac, and I still wasn’t ready for that.

  Ten contemplative minutes later, I arrived at the Crypto Bank.

  “Ready for another exciting day of sifting through personnel files?” Penny greeted me with mock cheeriness.

  “I can hardly contain my excitement,” I replied sarcastically.

  The smile dropped from Penny’s face and was quickly replaced by a nervous expression.

  “Did you see Donavon last night?” she asked, accusingly.

  “If I didn’t know better, I’d think that you were the mind reader,” I joked half-heartedly.

  “What happened?” she demanded.

  So I told Penny the story, the same way that Donavon had told me. When I finished, I waited anxiously for her to say something, anything. She didn’t. Instead, Penny turned to face her computers.

  “Why do you think Mac doesn’t want me to know?” I asked, talking now to the back of her head.

  Penny sat unmoving, her thin shoulders vibrating with tension, seemingly weighing her next words carefully.

  “I honestly don’t know,” she said softly.

  When she turned back around, her expression was neutral. Her posture was rigid, and her normally bright eyes were dark and troubled.

  “Tal, when you have these seizures, what happens exactly?” she asked quietly, glancing at Gemma to ensure the other girl was preoccupied. As usual, Gemma was so engrossed in her work that she barely acknowledged our presence.

  “Um, well, I start shaking, kind of lose control of my body, and then I usually pass out,” I said uneasily. The episodes were so embarrassing, I hated talking about them.

  “Usually pass out? Have you ever stayed conscious through one?”

  “Once,” I admitted. I hadn’t told Penny about the seizure in my bedroom during Career Fair; I’d been worried that she would agree with Dr. Thistler, and insist that I refrain from physical activity. Not that I would have listened to her any more than I’d listened to the doctor, but still.

  “Did anything else happen, besides the shaking?” Penny studied me with concern and something bordering on horror. If she thought that the convulsing was bad, how would she react if I told her that I’d clawed Donavon’s neck and torn his shirt? She’d think that I was nuts and that I belonged next to Ernest in the Psychiatric Ward, and I couldn’t have that.

  “No,” I lied to my best friend for the first time ever. “I mean, I couldn’t speak or even communicate with my mind, but that always happens.”

  Penny’s shoulders sagged ...with relief? I was glad that I hadn’t told her the truth; she obviously couldn’t handle it.

  “Tal,” she began slowly. “Please promise me that you will be cautious with Donavon, and maybe even with the Director. Maybe this isn’t a big deal, but they did lie to you. What other secrets are they keeping?”

  Weren’t those the same ideas that I’d been contemplating myself? Penny was right. Maybe this wasn’t a big deal—but then again, maybe it was.

  “I’ll try, Penny,” I promised.

  I looked over at Gemma again; she still wasn’t paying attention to us. Talking about such a sensitive topic in the Crypto Bank was a bad idea. This room, like every TOXIC facility, was monitored by security cameras and listening devices, and a conversation where I accused the Director of TOXIC of lying would definitely be flagged. If Gemma were a loyal Operative and she overhead us, she would report it. Penny seemed to realize my concern.

  “You know what, Tals? You’re right. I’m sure that it’s not a big deal. Once we find the spy, that person will be able to tell us what you were injected with. Then Dr. Thistler will find a cure, and all of this nonsense about Donavon’s blood won’t matter anyway.” With a great deal of effort, Penny offered me a big grin, but her hands gripped the arms of her swivel chair so tightly that her knuckles cracked from the effort.

  “And on that note, let’s get to work finding that person so we have something to report at our status meeting,” I suggested with an exaggerated eye roll. Our status meetings were unproductive, at best. Mac always gave the same tired speech about the importance of finding the spy, as if we weren’t all aware that we weren’t making any progress and didn’t appreciate the danger of having such an infiltrator. I was living proof that the person was dangerous.

  We worked for the next hour in relative silence. A couple of times, I contemplated breaking my resolution to never read Penny’s mind and just take a quick swipe. Penny might have said that she didn’t know why Mac was lying, but her reaction and her questions about the seizures told me that she at least had some theories. Still, every time I thought about it, I quickly rejected the idea.

  After what seemed like all day, I sighed in exasperation. Penny removed her headphones and smiled at me. “I know that it’s slow going.”

  “I feel like I’ve been through every single Operative’s file,” I whined.

  “Not hardly!” She laughed. “You’ve only just started on the Operatives not living here on campus.”

  I groaned, cursing the vast size of the organization. “I have to go to class now, so this will have to wait until later,” I said, rubbing my temples as I did. Staring at that computer screen was giving me a horrible headache.

  “Have fun. Catch us a spy,” Penny quipped as I headed for the door.