In the early hours of the day after their den fight, Kur finally gave up trying to go back to sleep, and instead, got up, and slipped out of their room, coming to sit at the table in their party’s common area.

  With a sigh, he clasped his hands together, and brought up his list of skills again, the yellow light dim above his head plunging the room in comforting shadows.

  And here lay the reason for his inability to sleep, or, at least, a good chunk of it… His boons were gone.

  No longer did he have access to the skills that were his bread and butter to boost up the party. No [Fighter’s Boon], no [Aura Boon], and worst of it all, the skill that had saved their lives time and time again, [Healing Boon], had been erased as well. His gains report this time around had been a true shocker, to say the least.

  How could he even call himself an [Auramancer Boon Leader] anymore? He didn’t even have any boons to speak off!

  He sighed and clasped his hands till the white showed on his knuckles. He had been told to expect his path correction to begin with the first assessment gains, but he hadn’t expected it to arrive as hard as it had… It had obliterated all that he had been thus far, and pushed him onto a completely new kind of path. Or was his affinity simply revealing what he had always desired to be, deep down?

  An influence affinity… he thought, passing a hand across his short, very pale yellow hair.

  Despite the oddity of it, he had discovered that it wasn’t exactly a rare affinity for a party leader, and it was in fact pretty common amongst those in positions of power in both civilian society, as the vast majority of non-combat life in the Nexus was called, as well as Church and combat related positions of leadership.

  “It’s like holding a scale in your hands,” his instructor had explained to him. “And as the one who holds the scales, you are the one who gets to decide which way they tip. And how.”

  One who influences, who balances, tips or raises the scales, Kur thought, rubbing his chin. Encouragement for buffing… Sneer for debuffing, with damage-over-time too… Mental damage, just like those psaelis…

  He would be attacking the enemy's minds directly with [Sneer of Contempt], and that was, for all intents and purposes, perfect for him, alongside his two other new skills. He lacked the attributes to make any sort of physical damage a reality, or any sort of caster path viable, and neither had ever been his intention. What hadn’t been his intention however, was to feel as useless in his own party as he had come to feel, especially as of late. But now, maybe he wouldn’t be so useless anymore…

  A wry smile touched his lips.

  And buffing takes double the amount of aura compared to the debuff… Like the old man always said, it’s much easier to bring down, than it is to lift up.

  Kur clenched his jaw, and his timid smile vanished from his lips, leaving him with a ghoulish, dark eyed expression in the darkened living room.

  The old man was always right…

  Kur absentmindedly whipped his hand across his check. He could still feel the spit landing on his face, as his dad shouted at him. He had never seen, or heard, his dad like that… In all honesty it had scared him, and he wondered if they would have come to blows had it not been for the protection of the Law of the Crystal…

  Stolen novel; please report.

  Pain protested from afar, calling out to him, and Kur woke up with a startle, and released his fingers and jaw.

  Crystal… he thought, as his skills and the common room faded back into view. He took a deep breath and swiveled on his seat, leaning with one arm on the table, and staring at the metal floor under his feet.

  What’s the point of thinking about him? Kur asked himself. I’ll never see him again. Any of them… And I know I’m right, and that I made the right choice. The only choice.

  It didn't do to dwell on the past, nor on people he would never see again, and whose opinion was wrong. There was nothing but a lifetime of hypocrisy and fakeness waiting for him in that cubeplant, and his parents couldn’t see that. And if they couldn’t understand the growing pain within their son’s heart as he was met with block after block, deaf leadership, and dying and maimed workers, then… Then they didn’t deserve to be remembered. None of them did.

  He glanced at his skills list, and opened his status besides it.

  He grimaced.

  His attributes had never been the best in the party, but with Jul taking on a full combat role, he was decidedly at the bottom in terms of attribute density, even behind Cen.

  Kur had always known that his path was not one of attributes or flashy skills. He was a support at best, his greatest contribution to the party being his leadership, strategizing and planning. However, while that had been all he had hoped for as he left the cubeplant behind, he couldn’t deny that he had come to want more… To have more of an impact. More of a role to play…

  Even his Ceremony gains had been incredibly low, and he had begun to wonder if maybe he was doing something wrong. With Nar and Jul embarking fully upon their hybrid paths, he had wondered if perhaps he should try to take up something similar. Nothing like tanking, or as crazy as Nar’s champion path or Jul’s true fear affinity path, but maybe some sort of ranged DPS, a caster perhaps, with which he could at least do a little bit of damage or maybe provide some distraction. Anything that would allow him to be that much more useful and increase his contribution.

  Of course, he had his boons, and they had always delivered when the party most needed them. But at best, his cooldowns meant that his boons were usually only ever useful for a few seconds per battle, not to mention that he could go weeks without using his all too crucial [Healing Boon], something he had always reserved for emergencies.

  It was hard to be liberal with the skill when he was always worried about them stumbling onto something that actually warranted its use. And that meant that, for the most part, he called the shots, cast his [Fighter’s Boon] and [Aura Boon] once or twice per battle, when he thought the time was right, and then did little else. By the time they’d reached halfway through their Climb, most of the time, once the battle was underway, the party knew what to do, and any extra orders were just redundant, as he was not a micromanager. And that meant that he, himself, was growing redundant.

  Even Gad, or Nar, could have led the party if I wasn’t there…

  It was a thought that reared its head at him once in a while, whispering jealousy into his ear, and stoking his doubts. He was the one who was supposed to make a difference, and that had been the whole point of him leaving behind his family, his workers, and the management life that was meant to be his future! And he wasn’t making any difference now, was he?

  He was not crucial nor pivotal in any way! Did it even matter that he called the shots? Did it even matter that he had left the cubeplant behind? Did it even matter that he had called out the hypocrisy in the leadership that was his future, and which lay heavy and smothering all around him?

  What had his leaving accomplished, other than to risk his workers ending in the hands of some asshole who cared for nothing except brown nosing themselves with the upper management?

  He sighed.

  Did I even do anything in that Climb? He asked himself. Did the party even need him, and in the end, did he even matter at all?

  He glanced at his skills list. Perhaps all of that was about to change.

  His affinity, to make a difference through influence, had come in swinging, obliterating his boons, his one usefulness, or perhaps, should he say his crutch, and offering him an entirely new way forward. And he had to admit, he liked the sound of his affinity, and of the possibilities it whispered to him. It was a way to fight that did not rely on his attributes, but rather on his capabilities as a leader, and that, at last, offered him a glimpsed of a chance to truly make a difference.

  [Words of Encouragement] and [Sneer of Contempt] allowed him the power to influence combat in real time, for both his party and the enemy, and their much-reduced time constrictions meant that he could be a lot more liberal with their use. A whole lot more, effectively making him an active player in every fight, instead of the lofty, useless leader watching on from the safe center of the party. Not to mention, with the unexpected DOT effect of his [Sneer of Contempt], he now had a perfect, non-physical attribute reliant way of inflicting a constant, if small, amount of damage upon the enemy from afar. Perfect for him in every account.

  Together, it made the loss of his boons not only bearable, but understandable and necessary, but the exception was the loss of his [Healing Boon], which still stung him deeply. He had saved lives with it, and had come to rely on it at several critical moments. It was an emergency safety trigger that he relied on whenever death closed its jaws around the party, and losing meant removing that safety net they had all come to trust their lives to. It was, it had been, the only true way of regaining HP in combat, besides the tiny trickle afforded to them by their hunger enhanced weapons. But other than with Nar’s further enhanced and upgraded sword, such healing was too small and too unreliable, even useless for Kur, who dealt no damage with his scepter.

  We can use consumables for now, if we’re allowed, Kur thought, thinking of the many and varied healing, restoring and enhancing products he had learned about. But we really can’t be dependent on them either…

  Consumables, such as potions and boosters, came with a slew of conditions, cooldowns and warnings. They were meant as emergencies. A last resort. Though there were those that relied on them on a daily basis, such delvers never ended well or progressed very far in their paths. At least according to the teacher of Delving.

  He sighed.

  Setting his path changes aside, the lack of a healer was something he didn’t have an answer for yet. There were aura healers in the sickbay, so that at least he knew it wasn’t something limited to aethermancers, and he hadn’t been the only party leader worried about the lack of a healer in his party. It had actually been one of the first questions asked in Leadership classes, but all they had received in reply was a “don’t worry about it for now, next?” kind of answer.

  He had mentioned nothing about it to the others, except for Gad, but he had a feeling that answer had meant a healer was coming. He couldn’t imagine them delving for two entire years without having the critical support of a healer role, and that meant that Tsurmirel was going to provide them with one.

  An outsider… Kur mused. There was no way any of them were going to suddenly become a healer. No one’s path leaned that way, and while once, as he told Nar, he might have entertained it as an option for himself, he had over time come to understand himself better, and realize that he also was neither suitable nor willing to fulfill such a role. And that left someone else. A new party member…

  He rubbed his head. Somehow, his thoughts had drifted away from what was actually important in the here and now.

  And a lot of self-pity and shitty stuff joined in as well, he thought, chiding himself for allowing such thoughts to run rampant. He took a deep breath and sat up straighter. Come on, Kur! Focus! Everyone’s depending on you! So, keep it together!

  He scanned the tree windows before him once more, his skills, his gains and his status.

  His lackluster attribute gains had been a worry, even if not wholly unexpected. After all, “you are what you do” applied to him just as much as it did the others, and he wasn’t going to earn [Strength] or [Speed] by standing still and shouting orders. However, his newest gains had brought with them a sharp turn in his path, something he had truly not expected at all.

  First, alongside [Ego], he had unlocked a slew of new Mind attributes. [Memory], [Logic], [Cunning] and [Intuition]. While all four of them still felt very abstract in their application, the overall feeling he got from them was that they helped him think and overall function mentally better, solidifying his role as the party leader and main strategist. They would also enable him to better absorb and retain all the information from all the theoretical classes he was attending. Also, it meant that his very thoughts, ideas, strategies and commands would from now on result in very real and practical gains into his new attributes of the Mind.

  There was no telling how his mind would be affected by such attributes in the long term, but for the moment, he was just happy that his path seemed to be starting to go somewhere.

  And then, there was the second big change. His new skills. And in particular, his [Are You a True Leader?] passive skill, which granted him a flat 20% bonus to the effectiveness of all of his active skills as long as his attribute density remained the lowest amidst the party. This, in effect, turned his weakness into his greatest strength, and that boost included not only his buff effects, but also his debuff effects and any damage dealt through his active skills. Together with his [Words of Encouragement] and [Sneer of Contempt], his new skills were all at level 1, but they would likely upgrade to become a very powerful synergy of a mind-based buff and debuff path. Perhaps even DOT based.

  More skills were sure to follow in the coming assessment and battles, solidifying his new path, and he was excited to see what would come his way. This was just the beginning of his new path after all.

  One that mixes leadership with the ability to directly influence the outcome of the battle through buffs and debuffs, which in turn are based upon the party’s belief in my leadership, and on my belief in their capabilities… I like it.

  And he did. He really did.

  Compared to his unrelated boons, it felt like his path was finally becoming something based around a real idea and focus, centered around his affinity made manifest through influence.

  However, there was one thing that bothered him, and this was the second reason why he had been unable to sleep. The reason why he had found himself questioning everything in such a heavy and dragging manner, and remembering things that deserved nothing but to be forgotten.

  [Are You a True Leader?].

  It was not a statement. It was a question.

  Are you a true leader?

  What kind of skill name was that? Maybe he was just reading too much into it, due to it being a rare skill, and in the simplest of terms, that was definitely just the name of the skill. However, it struck something within him, and he couldn’t shake it.

  He had made his decision to leave his workers because there was nothing he could have done for them, instead hoping to find a place where his leadership and skills could matter and make an impact… What was the point of drills and of harping on and on about safety and care, when their jobs were inherently dangerous? What was the point of evaluating performances and giving constructive feedback when people were already working at their full capacity? And was the point of living his whole life encouraging people to carry a burden he himself would never understand?

  No… Leaving was the right choice, Kur told himself. But…

  But, [Are You a True Leader]?

  “Kur?”

  He startled out of his reverie as the lights came on to full intensity, and searched about for the source of the voice.

  “Jul?” he asked, frowning. “You up already?”

  The quam had slipped quietly out of the girl’s room, and now approached him at the table.

  “Sorry, did I wake you up?” he asked.

  Jul shook her head. “I’m having double daily sessions with the Master of Shadows from now on. One early, and one late.”

  Kur smiled at her. “Nice. That sounds like the master is taking your teaching seriously.”

  “Very!” Jul said, nodding with a serious look that was almost comical with how earnest it was. “But… Why are you up so early? Are you studying again?”

  He sighed and shook his head. “Couldn’t sleep.”

  “Is something wrong?” she asked, sitting at his side.

  “No… No. It’s just, my affinity has kicked in, and the changes were… Well, a lot. I lost all of my boons.”

  “What?” she gasped. “Are-Are you okay?”

  Kur chuckled. “I am. More than fine in fact. I lost my three boons but I gained three new skills, two active and one passive, and they work really well together.”

  “Is this your new path then?” she whispered.

  “Yeah… Looks like it,” Kur said, taking a deep breath. “I’ll tell you all about it at some point. We’ll need to get together and discuss everyone’s new skills and path changes anyways, but for now, I can tell you that the days of me uselessly hanging in the middle of the party while you guys do all the work are coming to an end. I have a buff and a debuff, and their cooldowns are a lot shorter, meaning I’ll be taking an active role in the fighting from now on.”

  Jul grinned at him and slapped his arm, startling him.

  “That’s great, Kur!” she said. “I mean… Are-Are you happy with that?”

  Kur nodded. “I am. To be honest, I was getting worried about my attribute gains and my path, but with this, it feels like things are finally starting to move.”

  “That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!” she said, squeezing his wrist. “Thank the Crystal… And you should have told us something if you were worried! You always tell us to come to you with our worries!”

  He grimaced. “I do, don’t I?”

  She frowned at him. “You can’t do that, Kur! We rely on you, and you need to rely on us!”

  “I know… I know,” he said. “I just… I wasn’t sure of anything. That’s all.”

  “Hmm! Next time, come talk to us,” Jul said. “Or at least Gad or Cen. They’re smart, and I’m sure they’ll know how to help you.”

  “You’re smart too!” Kur said.

  Jul laughed out loud. “Not like they are! Anyways, I’m sorry, I need to run!”

  “Go!” Kur said, shooing her away. “Don’t get in trouble because of me!”

  Jul nodded and got to her feet, moving with enviable [Speed] towards the door.

  “Kur?” she asked, suddenly stopping on her tracks.

  “Yes?”

  He raised his eyes towards her, and was surprised at the hardness in her state.

  “You were never useless,” Jul told him. “You hold us all together, and you guide us in what to do, in combat and outside of it. We would all fall apart without you, Kur. Do you understand?”

  Kur looked down, his cheeks radiating sudden heat. “Yes…”

  “So don’t ever say that again. It’s very upsetting.”

  “Sorry… I won’t.”

  “Good!” she said, smiling at him. “I’ll see you later!”

  “Have fun!”

  And with that, she was gone.

  Not useless, uh?

  Yes. Yes, he was. But he was going to change that. Finally, it was time for him to truly build his own path, and damned be that questioning skill…