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CHP 14: When the metaphorical yardstick only *seems* inconsistent

  “I hath slain whom I considered my own blood. I crushed them under my own weight and smothered them in my tears”

  -Lester the Dirtman, impromptu speech given after falling into his garden, crushing his azaleas.

  Runt had been gone for an UNBEARABLE amount of time. Most of that time she had spent floating in circles in the first floor. Despite the fact that father told her it would only make it feel like Runt was gone for longer. She wanted to be there the moment that he came back. With or without the Square. What if he came back injured? She would need to heal him right away, after all.

  …it had been at least a day.

  Sanctuary hadn’t gotten bored before, before she was just waiting for something to tell her how she was supposed to live, now, she was waiting for something she actually cared about, infernal blade! She watched the goblins, but they all seemed kind of stupid compared to Runt, even if their INT stat was usually around twenty points higher. Thinking about it, Runt didn’t really have too many stat points. He had more than she did, but if he got three every level up, he should have more.

  Curiosity ignited, she began to investigate. After an hour of sorting through ((STATUS)) after ((STATUS)), even checking father’s, to his amusement, she came to the conclusion that she had no idea how stats were calculated.

  Sometimes it was clearly a base ten stat points, plus three per level. But she had gotten way more than ten base stat points. She had even found a gremlin with only three base stat points! Eventually, she decided that it was a waste of time to try and figure it out for herself. When she asked father, however, he said that he had never thought about it before.

  How it had never crossed his mind, in the two hundred something years he had been alive, while it had only taken her five weeks, was mind boggling to Sanctuary. She only had one more option.

  “((9/16))?” Sanctuary asked the air

  A viewport opened beside her.

  “How doth base stats work?” Sanctuary asked,

  You ask a lot of questions.

  By that I mean you are the only person who ever talks to me (T~T)

  Even ur dad, I have to interact w/ him first. ;{

  “But how doest they-“ Sanctuary began, the text box updated,

  0 base stats, IDK haven’t done this one yet.

  1-3 base stats, poor talent

  4-6 base stats, average talent

  6-10 base stats, above average talent

  10+ whatever the Green Inferno you got. Nepo baby.

  “Huh.” Sanctuary said,

  IKRRR, I’ve been wanting to give a random kid 0 base stats, but 3/16 is always like ‘nooo it’ll cripple him for life!!!!111!!!’ like ??? that’s what unique skills are for boi.

  “Art… art thou havest a stroke?”

  No. Anymore exposition I need to impart or u good?

  “I am good.” Sanctuary said, wondering what exposition was.

  The viewport closed, and Sanctuary momentarily wondered what a nepo baby was, when there where three sharp knocks on the door. She squealed, and father appeared on floor one.

  He opened the Entrance, just slightly, and Runt slipped back inside. On his shoulder was the most adorable creature she had ever seen. It was a cube, and squishy!

  The picture didn’t say it was going to be squishy!

  She squealed again and began to circle around Runt and the squishy before the door even closed properly. Runt picked the squishy off his shoulder and offered it to her. She instantly wrapped her ((MANA)) around it,

  YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY BOUND PALE SLIME TO YOUR DOMAIN

  LEVEL OF RESISTANCE: -50

  RANK GIVEN: Please Select… EXPAND?

  She expanded the message gleefully

  SPEAKER – Voices your wishes to the mortal masses (RECOMMENDED)

  VESSEL – Contains your essence

  BOSS – A powerful fighter to repel invaders (REQUIRES BOSS ROOM)

  RETAINER – grants a higher level of independence and intelligence

  Ah, well that was easy, she selected ((SPEAKER)), and pulled up her new Squishy’s ((STATUS))

  STATUS:

  Name: Squishy

  Mantra: Listen, and you will hear.

  LV: 4

  EXP 100/4000

  Gender: female

  Affinities: Heal

  Class: Speaker

  Race: Pale Slime

  Tethered: Sanctuary

  Traits: Medical, Cleansing,

  Blessings: Blessing of Sanctuary

  Curses: n/a

  Titles: n/a

  Notoriety: 32

  Fame: 32

  Infamy: 0

  Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

  Kills: 0

  INT: 13 (+1)

  SOUL: 1(+2)

  WILL: 1(+1)

  MAG: 1 (+1)

  STR: 1 (+0)

  DEF: 1 (+0)

  CONS: 1 (+1)

  Sanctuary hummed brightly. Level four and with thirteen attribute points in one stat. Not really balanced. Whatsoever, but then again, she was only level four. And, Sanctuary was supposed to balance out the rest with her own points. At least, she would.

  Eventually.

  Runt had set Squishy was digging through his bag, pulling out several green things. And some brownish things. She recognized them as plants, although, they weren’t like the bone mimicries and fungi of her father.

  They were interesting, but father seemed much more interested in them than she was. He kept asking Runt questions that Runt was struggling to answer. Based mostly on the fact that Catacomb didn’t speak Goblish well.

  Runt was holding up a brown cylindric seed and gesturing at its frills, Sanctuary stared at him, while Catacomb occasionally interrupted in broken Goblish.

  “ETERNAL GOODNESS ITS JUST A PINE CONE.” A feminine voice suddenly warbled.

  Sanctuary squealed and father flinched. Runt spun toward the source of the voice, identifying before the others where it came from. He hissed in Squishy’s direction, and crossed his arms. Still holding the pine cone.

  “Green Inferno! since when can they hear me?” Squishy said,

  “Creature.” Father said, “Whenst doth thou learnth Systematic?”

  “Uhh. Since… right nowth.” Squishy said, “I think it’s ‘cus I got a class…th?”

  “Sanctuary? What class did you give it?” Catacomb asked

  “((SPEAKER)).” Sanctuary said, “It wast recommended.”

  “Hrm…” father said, “Creature.”

  “I think my name is Squishy now, actually.” Squishy said,

  Catacomb snarled at her, and she whimpered.

  “Sorry.”

  “Creature, canst thou read?” he asked,

  “Uh, y-yes I canst.” Squishy said,

  “Good.” Father said, “Read this.”

  He summoned a copy of the book, and dropped it in front of the slime. The cube blinked at it. Sanctuary opened to the first page with a small gust of ((MANA)).

  Name: Catacomb

  Mantra: Death comes to those who enter here

  LV: 273

  EXP 88,329/980,000,000

  Gender: Male

  Affinities: Bone, Ice, Mana… EXPAND?

  Class: Scourge (Uncommon), Commander (Uncommon)

  Race: Undefined

  Nodes: Creeping Lilly LV 49, Basic Necromantic LV 90, Tusnaj Mushroom LV 21… EXPAND?

  Spawners: Feral Goblin LV 60, Basic Necromantic LV 84, Crypt Bat LV 152…EXPAND?

  Retainers: Necrodragon 1 (LV 100)

  Bosses: Necrodragon 2 (LV 87) Necrodragon 3 (LV 87) Necrodragon 4 (LV 87) … EXPAND?

  Tethers: N/A

  Traits: Desecrator, Ouroboros, Violent… EXPAND?

  Blessings: Blessing of Bastion, Fruitful and Multiply

  Curses: Murderer, Odysseus, Vampire

  Titles: Son of Bastion, Line Ender (LEX), Terror of Ridoum (XII)

  Notoriety: 800,932,033

  Fame: 33

  Infamy: 800,932,000

  Kills: 30,983,231

  INT: 117

  SOUL: 117

  WILL: 117

  MAG: 117

  STR: 117

  DEF: 117

  CONS: 117

  STATUS:

  Name: Runt

  Mantra: The big fight, the small take.

  LV: 35

  EXP 0/35,000

  Gender: Male

  Affinities: Stealth

  Class: Retainer

  Race: Feral Goblin

  Tethered: N/A

  Traits: brave, tenacious.

  Blessings: Blessing of Catacomb, Blessing of Sanctuary

  Curses: Smallheart

  Titles: Runt, Underdog

  Notoriety: 0

  Fame: 0

  Infamy: 0

  Kills: 12

  INT: 11 (+1)

  SOUL: 9(+2)

  WILL: 11(+1)

  MAG: 10 (+1)

  STR: 10 (+0)

  DEF: 10 (+0)

  CONS: 11 (+1)

  STATUS:

  Name: Pale Slime No. 332

  Mantra: Listen, and you will hear.

  LV: 4

  EXP 100/4000

  Gender: female

  Affinities: Heal

  Class: n/a

  Race: Pale Slime

  Tethered: N/A

  Traits: Medical, Cleansing

  Blessings: n/a

  Curses: n/a

  Titles: n/a

  Notoriety: 14

  Fame: 0

  Infamy: 0

  Kills: 0

  INT: 13

  SOUL: 1

  WILL: 1

  MAG: 1

  STR: 1

  DEF: 1

  CONS: 1

  STATUS:

  Name: Sanctuary

  Mantra: N/A

  LV: 2

  EXP 50,000/150,00

  Gender: Female

  Affinities:

  Class: none

  Race: Undefined

  Nodes: N/A

  Spawners: N/A

  Retainers: Runt

  Tethers: Xliminavera

  Traits: Reserved

  Blessings: Blessing of Bastion

  Curses: N/A

  Titles: Daughter of Catacomb

  Notoriety: 2

  Fame: 2

  Infamy: 0

  Kills: 0

  INT: 6

  SOUL: 10

  WILL: 5

  MAG: 5

  STR: 0

  DEF: 0

  CONS: 5

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