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Chapter 9: This Is Fine, Said the Man Bleeding in a Forest

  It took me a full hour of wandering through the woods before I, quite literally, stumbled across my next confrontation.

  I’d been checking the Quest Progress bar with obsessive regularity and, just like a watched kettle – and man, I could murder a cup of tea right about now - I was more than a little miffed to find it had only crept up to 11%. Eleven per cent. After all that walking. I mean, I was just starting to get out of puff and the System didn’t even have the decency to toss me a pity milestone?

  Still, it was hard to stay too grumpy. The world around me was outrageously green. Not ‘London park’ green, or even ‘half-dead houseplant’ green, but full-on, untamed, mythic green. A green I could absolutely get lost in. Moss was everywhere, draped across the trees like interior design, and there were beams of golden light slicing through the canopy as if Bayteran had hired a very expensive lighting director.

  And I was very much falling in love with actual birdsong. Not the insipid noise I was used to hearing through my window along with the distant honk of urban despair, but real, layered woodland harmony. My reaction was odd, because I’d never been much for the Great Outdoors. Holiday with Aunt M aside, I was a city boy through and through—fond of streetlights, noise pollution, and other people being within easy stabbing distance.

  But here? With no traffic, no screaming, and no texts from Griff demanding I “sort that mess out before it explodes”—and more importantly, no Katya-from-the-train murdering me again—I’d almost started to relax.

  Which, naturally, was when all the growling started.

  Low. And from far too many directions at once.

  Of course it did. I’d had the gall to enjoy myself for more than thirty seconds, and now the forest was going to make me pay. I paused mid-step, one boot hovering above a patch of moss, and listened. The sound wasn’t just close—it was interested.

  I let out a long, silent sigh.

  I didn’t know what else I’d expected, really. I’d basically Stay Puft’d my way directly into trouble—big, obvious, and apparently broadcasting ‘fresh meat whose only weapon is a log’ energy to anything with ears and a territorial streak.

  Lesson learned. Probably.

  Maybe.

  The growl was a deep, rumbling sound that definitely was not giving off ‘friendly’. Every hair on my neck stood on end as I froze in place, eyes darting around for the source. There was a distinct rustling snuffiness from the underbrush nearby, and for a moment, I held out hope that it was just some harmless creature—like a cute bunny, or a very cheerful deer. Something with which I could converse, create a bond with and then have cool, non-threatening little woodland adventures.

  Yeah, sure. Because that’s absolutely the way these things always work out, right?

  Which was when the first wolf appeared. Because of course it was. A huge, snarling, very not-grandmother-friendly wolf. Its yellow eyes locked on me, glowing faintly with evil and hunger in the very attractive dappled light. It was close—closer than I was comfortable with. Mind you, even sharing the same continent with this thing would have me on edge. It was about the size of a small pony, which wasn’t all that great, considering my only means of defence was a stick.

  I also didn’t think it was alone.

  And, do you know what? Not a single one of my trainers had ever shared info about how to take something like this down. I couldn’t help but think Griff had done me dirty.

  [System Alert: Hostile Entity Detected]

  Name: Forest Wolf

  Level: 5

  Disposition: Predatory |Territorial

  Notable Traits: Heightened senses, pack tactics, relentless pursuit

  Mana Affinity: Low

  Combat Style: Ambush and overwhelm

  It didn’t look like it had been triggered by Aggro Magnetism yet, but I doubted that wonderful development would be too far away. Level 5? Yeah, I wasn’t too confident about this at all. “Look, buddy,” I said, holding the branch out in front of me as if that would somehow help lower tensions. “I don’t want to do this anymore than you do.”

  The wolf growled in a ‘Are you kidding me? This is the best thing that has happened to me this week! Guy your size and with no armour or weapons? Me and my boys are going to be eating for a week. We’re absolutely doing this’ kind of way and took a step closer.

  I risked a half-glance over my shoulder - just to check I wasn’t already surrounded - but when I turned back the wolf was already springing at me, its massive jaws snapping inches from my face Without thought, I brought my branch around, moving far more quickly than I really thought I should have been able to. Wood met fur and bone with a satisfying crack, halting the wolf’s lunge and sending it spinning away from me and back into the trees.

  I received a Ding which I instantly dismissed. If I’d hoped the notification was because I’d one-shotted it, I was to be disappointed. The beast rose immediately, shaking its head as though I’d done little more than irritate it. Anger radiated from its eyes, red and vengeful, and it let out a growl deep enough to shake leaves from nearby branches.

  There was a second Ding.

  [Aggro Magnetism activated]

  "Awesome. Because there was a chance we’d kiss and make up after that.’

  The wolf’s posture shifted, muscles rippling beneath its fur and it charged at me again, faster and more furious this time. Oh, and it was blinking red in the grip of Rage too. My grip tightened on the branch as it barrelled down on me, and, at the last moment I ducked and swept low, catching its front legs mid-bound, and sending it crashing hard into the undergrowth.

  Considering how very outside my usual comfort zone I was – I cannot tell you how rarely it is that I’ve needed to twat a charging animal away with a piece of wood – I felt oddly unpanicked about this situation. Despite being wildly outmatched, something, presumably a feature of my Class, appeared to be magnifying the effectiveness of my defences. So much so that, if possible, I’d really like to survive this and get to figure out how . . .

  Unfortunately, the wolf – once again - recovered far quicker than I’d have hoped from being smacked away, and it leapt forward to bury its teeth into my left arm before I could properly get ready to swing for the fences again. Blood went everywhere as it savaged me, but, strangely, the pain I expected was oddly muffled. My health bar popped up on the right of my vision and started to drop downwards. That it wasn’t plummeting seemed generous, especially considering this thing was four levels above me and was absolutely ripping me a new one.

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  Anxious not to actually lose an arm, I twisted and drove an elbow into the side of its head, stunning it momentarily into causing it to let go, giving me a chance to gain some distance.

  Blood was flowing out quite generously but was actually a fair bit less than I might have expected. The pain should have been blinding. Instead, it was manageable, as though someone had turned the dial from "screaming agony" to "stubbed toe."

  Still, I couldn’t see how a win was going to be on the cards here. I was at around 75% health, and it wasn’t climbing up anywhere near as quickly as it had when the goblin had bit me. The wolf, for its part, and taken two solid blows on the noggin and was a beat below 90%.

  It circled away from me, and then quickly changed direction and came on once more. I swung again, connecting solidly with its jaw, but the force of impact shattered the branch into splinters. My weapon was now officially firewood. Defenceless, I stumbled backward, arms windmilling wildly in search of something—anything—to grab.

  I found nothing but thin air.

  Desperate and off-balance, my feet tangled beneath me, the ground slick with mud and treachery. My face slammed spectacularly into the unforgiving bark of a large oak tree, and I went down hard, eyes streaming, into the mud. I worried that I was going to blackout, and certainly, the world spun for a moment, but there was another Ding, and my vision sharpened.

  I looked up, and kind of wished whatever the System had done, it hadn’t bothered me.

  The wolf loomed right over me now, and let me tell you, that word was made for this thing. It was growling in a smug, self-satisfied way, and thanks to its critical chewing on my arm, it was no longer so angry it might be lured into doing something foolish. I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing for the inevitable. Sorry, Aunt M, it turns out I was more cut out to fight in the shadows.

  The wolf’s growl came so close I could feel the vibrations of the snarl through my nose.

  This was it.

  And then it wasn’t.

  Because instead of the expected sensation of teeth ripping into my oh-so-tender flesh, I heard a whoosh—a sharp wind slicing through the air—and then... silence.

  I cracked one eye open, wondering if the wolf had suddenly decided that I wasn’t worth the effort. Spoiler alert: that was the situation, but it hadn’t been the wolf’s decision. What I saw made me certain I had died and gone to heaven—or maybe Valhalla.

  Standing above me was a woman—short, stacked (okay, I’m sure there’s a more appropriate way of saying that, but I’ve just nearly been eaten by a wolf. Cut me and my misogynistic ass some slack) and decked out in armour that looked both practical and stylish. Her sword was still drawn, gleaming with a faint blue glow, and, most importantly, the wolf was lying on the ground next to me, very much dead.

  She hadn’t just killed it. She’d absolutely wrecked it.

  I blinked, trying to piece together what had just happened. One second, I was chum, and the next... well, she showed up like Arnie’s more attractive sister.

  “You still in one piece?” she asked casually, as if she hadn’t just taken down a level 5 wolf with one whack.

  I tried to respond, but the words caught in my throat. I was still in last night’s soaking wet clothes, bathed in wolf blood and covered in mud. This . . . this warrior babe had just saved me. I wasn’t sure if I should be grateful, embarrassed or horny—I’m pleased to say that I multi-tasked and managed all three.

  “I think so,” I said, my voice sounding to my mind disappointingly unheroic.

  She raised an eyebrow, her eyes flicking up and down my sorry state. “You look somewhat dishevelled, sir. And rather undergeared for hunting Forest Wolves.”

  Okay, so you know some things don’t need stressing, right? I was lying face-down in the mud, soaked, panting like I’d just run a marathon, and reaching for a stick like it was the Holy Grail. I’m all for brutal honesty – I mean, I’m not. I’m absolutely not. Give me warm and fuzzy lies any day of the week – but some things don’t need stressing.

  “You, uh... you killed it,” I said dumbly because apparently, any wit and charm I once possessed had checked out the moment I rammed my own face into a tree.

  “Yes,” she said. “I wasn’t sure how much longer you were planning to lie there, and it looked like you could use the help.”

  “You thought right,” I said, trying to push myself up onto my knees. Mud squelched beneath me like the loudest, wettest fart in the world. I felt my pride - and other things - shrivel up into nothing. I glanced over at the dead wolf again, its eyes glassy, and its body still.

  I’d been so close to dying. Again.

  The woman sighed, sheathing her sword with a pretty cool flourish. “Don’t mention it,” she glanced over my head at I wasn’t sure what and then raised her eyebrows. “Level 1?” There was a sudden note of respect to her voice. “Fair play to you! Brave. Not smart. Not smart at all, but it takes balls to face down a Forest Wolf at any level. Giving it four levels of a head start? Yeah, ballsy.”

  I assumed I had some sort of information above my head that she could read. I looked above hers, but nothing appeared.

  “I’ve been sent out to see what is taking down the local merchants,” she said. “Seems we have our answer. A Level 5 Forest Wolf. And there will be more where this has come through, I’ll wager. What were you doing wandering around here with no weapons? Didn’t you read the warnings?” She looked at my clothes. “And what in the name of the Maker are you wearing?”

  “Those are three good questions,” I said. “I guess I just wasn’t really thinking straight.”

  “Clearly. Tell me, sir, do you always have this much trouble staying alive, or was today a special occasion?”

  Professional pride flared at the condescension, but then I considered that I’d just nearly been killed for the second time in less than two hours. Perhaps a touch of humility would be wise. “In my defence, I don’t normally run into wolves in my day-to-day life,” I said. “All of this is a bit new to me.”

  I thought I saw a flicker of curiosity there. She looked at my getup again. “New to you? Really? And I suppose you just dropped in from somewhere else?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. Something like that.”

  She studied me for a moment. Then, showing no signs she considered me anything more interesting than a lost puppy, she shrugged. “Well, if you’re planning to stick around here, you’re going to need a better weapon than... whatever that was.” She gestured to the stick I had recovered and was now clutching in my hand. “In fact, do you have any gear on at all?”

  “No. I arrived in a bit of a hurry. I’m hoping to sort that out sharpish.”

  The warrior took a step closer to me, her own very effective looking armour clinking as she moved. “What’s your name?”

  “Elijah. Eli, if you like”

  “Eli...” She seemed to test the name out, then nodded, as if deciding it was acceptable. “Well met, Eli. Given a choice, I’ll take brave over geared. But both is better. I’m Lia.”

  “Lia,” I repeated.“Well, you have my thanks for the save. Any time I can do the same for you, let me know.”

  “Ha, now that I would like to see!” she replied with the first genuine smile she’d offered me. “Don’t mention it.”

  I went to speak, but she held up a finger.

  “I mean that literally. Please don’t mention it. Not to anyone. I have an ‘uncaring ice maiden’ image to maintain. I wouldn’t want every Level 1 with more guts than sense to think I’ll be swooping in to save the day.”

  I wasn’t entirely sure what to make of that, but it did feel like she flirting with me. But I truly sucked at reading that sort of thing. Before I could seek to clarify further, she turned on her heels and started walking away, apparently not waiting for me to keep up.

  “Wait!” I called after her, stumbling slightly as I broke into motion. “Where are you going?”

  She didn’t stop. Just turned her head enough to throw her voice. “Nowhere you need to worry about, Level 1.”

  Ouch. That hit with all the gentle nuance of a thrown boot.

  “If you’re smart, you’ll find a fortified village. Get a few Abilities under your belt before you venture out here again. There’s worse things even than Forest Wolves out here.”

  “Look,” I said, catching her up. “I appreciated the save, but I was doing just fine.”

  She didn’t turn, didn’t stop—but her hand lifted, a little backwards wave. The sort of wave you give to a child who’s about to realise they’ve been left behind. A wave that said: you can talk yourself into anything, but I’ve already left.

  I watched her for a moment. She was clearly better equipped and certainly higher levelled than me. She certainly had more practical experience of this realm in her little finger than I did in my whole body right now. So following her until I got more of a handle on things would make sense. It might even be smart. But I wasn’t interested in following anyone like a lost puppy. And I really wasn’t interested in being someone’s side quest.

  So I jogged to catch up, falling into step a half-length behind her. Not trailing. Not leading. Just also there on the track.

  After a few minutes, she glanced back at me, but didn’t stop walking. “Tag along if you want,” she said at last, almost amused. “But don’t expect me to babysit.”

  “Wasn’t planning to,” I said. “Especially as you’ve got that whole resting apocalypse face thing going on.”

  Lia laughed at that. Well, it was actually a snort. Just a small one. But I clocked it.

  And just like that, we kept walking. Not exactly a team. But I wasn’t on my either.

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