“Go go go!”

  Using the now involuntarily bald Joseph as a shield, I made my escape.

  The crisp clacking of dress shoes echoed throughout the amphitheater.

  “It’s not possible. Not plausible.”

  I froze, my eyes settling on a man in the VIP booth above. Even beneath his mask, I could sense his arrogance. His tousled wind-swept hair clashed strangely with his calm, calculating eyes. He set down a candelabra, adjusted his tie, then clasped his hands behind his back.

  He shook his head, as if in pity. “You won’t be able to run from your fate… Forever.”

  “Tsk. There’s no point in wasting spit talking to you,” I muttered.

  They flashed me a thumbs up as they scaled up the crater formed in the ceiling.

  His mouth curled up into a sinister smile. “There is no use. It’s impossible to raise the elders of the past—I’ve already tried.”

  “Well, clearly you didn’t try hard enough.”

  The room shuddered violently, the floors lurching as cracks snaked up the walls.

  “Let me gooooo,” Joseph whined. “What more could you want with me??”

  “As you wish.”

  With a burst of speed, I launched myself into the air. With a wide arch, my leg connected solidly against his side, sending him flying into the booth.

  A forcefield flashed momentarily, slamming Joseph into the wall. I braced myself for impact as the ceiling collapsed. Dodging falling boulders, I dived for the exit, barely slipping through before the rubble sealed off the amphitheater.

  “Whew, that was a close one.”

  “...”

  “Ahhhh fuck.”

  The floor trembled beneath me, then collapsed with a final groaning creak.

  …

  “What took you so long.”

  “Hey.”

  Yuseng resided beneath the baron’s territory, a mess of collapsed passageways, forgotten catacombs, and dungeons.

  He scratched at his, no, more accurately, his vessel’s chin. He had long surpassed the limits of the human body, and needed new vessels to sustain his soul once every decade or so. This one appeared to be in quite poor condition, showing clear signs of rot.

  He frowned. “Where’d you been? You took longer than expected.”

  “I got caught up in some stuff…”

  “Bah, whatever, follow me.”

  I followed his limping figure into the darkness. The ground sloped downwards into the catacombs. My nostrils with the sour stench that hung in the chilly, damp air, like the smell of aging materials found in museums.

  It wasn’t long before we stopped at a familiar chamber. Naked bodies lay in alcoves, skin taunt and pale, eerily preserved in time, as if just asleep.

  Yuseng pointed at a cadaver near the end of the corridor. The skin was brittle and blackened, one eye sunken in, the other milky white and still. He brushed the dust off the body.

  “This one.”

  A green light pulsed, and as if time was being reversed, the body soon returned back to its prime condition. His face twitched as he chanted a spell, then his body collapsed on the floor.

  The eyes of the cadaver encased in the resin soon shot open. I covered my face as the structure cracked and shards exploded everywhere.

  Yuseng, now a wizened old man, flexed his hand. His white beard flowed seamlessly into his equally white beard. Despite the apparent age of the new vessel, he seemed energized, renewed.

  “Now, as for your payment. Again, I shall grant whatever you wish. What would it be this time? Would you like me to summon snacks from another world again?”

  “However, this time I’ll have to call in a favor from last time.”

  The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

  I presented him with the dagger. “I want you to preserve the soul resting inside, and help me track down the other fragments.”

  Carefully taking it into his hands, he scrutinized the phylactery before frowning. “This soul is too damaged,” he said bluntly. “Most likely, the other pieces are long destroyed.”

  Yuseng paused, playing with the blade. “With the appropriate vessel and a ritual with your powers, it is indeed possible for revival. However…”

  “Whatever it takes, what would you need?”

  He placed the phylactery back into my hands. “Judging by the condition, I estimate that you only have a couple more years.”

  He settled down on the floor. “Do you have what it takes?”

  “Of course.”

  “The soul inside is too damaged. Pray tell, do you believe in fairytales?”

  “I’m very gullible. I’ll believe it.”

  “...”

  Yuseng threw up his hands. “Okayyy… So what you need to do is…”

  He hesitated, pausing for dramatic effect.

  “Spit it out, old man.”

  He snorted. “There are rumors. Legends. Whispers. Ancient wisdom passed down from the most reliable source I know—the Ubon Dictionary.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “The what?”

  He cleared his throat, his expression turning unusually serious. “The book was vague and badly damaged. It spoke of a fruit—the Revival Fruit. Said to be able to restore even the most fragmented of souls, though, of course, nobody knows if it even exists. Heck, I’m not sure if it’s even a fruit.”

  Yuseng laughed, sending himself into a coughing fit. I could never understand why he chose this q-tip looking ass grandpa as a vessel.

  “Still… Want to chase it?” He wheezed. “I’ll preserve the phylactery until you find the fruit, if it even exists. Good luck!”

  “Cool… Love that, couldn’t get annnny more specific. Alright. But before I go, help me with one thing.”

  …

  “You’re just using me to summon snacks again, aren’t you?”

  “Mmmm, nothing reminds me of home like the taste of preservatives. I’ll be going now. Uhhh, where’s the exit?”

  “Up the stairs to the ri-,” He threw his hands up. “Ah why do I even bother… Just remember to come back soon to renew my vessels!”

  “This place really needs better signage.”

  My usual strategy of wandering through mazes isn't working. My stomach dropped as I remembered the time I got lost and stuck in a dungeon for what felt like years.

  Crunch

  I squinted into the darkness. I could’ve sworn those rocks weren’t there a few seconds ago.

  I wrinkled my nose. “Ugh, It’s stale.”

  Tossing the bag of chips on the floor, I stomped on it repeatedly. I punched a stone pillar in annoyance. The wall collapsed, revealing a passageway. Dust particles danced in the air, illuminated by light.

  “Le hurray.”

  Digging my nails into the uneven surface, I scaled the walls. The musty metallic scent of the underground was quickly replaced with the earthy smell of dirt.

  I stood on the edge of a grassy hill. Snowy peaks stood in the distance, with a forest stretching as far as the eye could see. Faint footprints trailed through the moist earth, with signs of the underbrush being disturbed.

  “Heyyy, this wasn’t where I started,” I complained. “I hope they get out safely. Eh, whatever. They’ll be fine.”

  I completely forgot about this one feature of the labyrinth. It would erratically shift and distort your sense of direction, making it a great location to defend yourself from intruders. The issue is that I’m not a fucking hermit, and I’m not planning on living in a morgue.

  I shielded my eyes from the glare of the sun. “A city…”

  The piercing scream of a woman rang through my head. Here we go again…

  “Errrm, am I interrupting something?”

  “Ahhh, oh no, please help, I’m being kidnapped,” she said bluntly. “Ahhh, please help, I’m soooo scared.”

  I pinched the bridge of my nose. What’s with the daughters of noble families and getting kidnapped?! Clearly, this isn’t her first rodeo. Not even any enthusiasm with her pleas of help! It really kills the mood.

  “Uhhh, okay. I’ll leave you two to it, have a nice day.”

  “No, please wait!”

  He spun his knife in his hands. “Not so fast. We can’t be having any whitne-”

  The bandit staggered, a confused expression spreading over his face as his blade slipped from his grasp, clattering uselessly to the ground. He grasped at his chest, now with a gaping hole. He gazed in disbelief, as his fingers trembled, soaked in his own blood, before collapsing in a heap on the ground.

  “Get home safe,” I said with a wave.

  “W- wait!”

  “I’m not interested in your side quests, goodbye.”

  You see, you have to be careful when talking to strangers these days. I swear that they are getting kidnapped on purpose to find their knight in shining armor, or to offload wacky quests to unsuspecting adventurers. Believe me, I fell for this a couple of times. I don’t care about no family heirloom passed down from generation to generation. Once, I spent weeks searching for one that turned out to be a toilet brush! And I didn’t even get paid! Unbelievable.

  Anyways, I’m not going to fall for it again.

  She clasped her hands together. “Please, adventurer, save my father! He's deathly ill. I’ll do anything!” she said in a pleading voice.

  I groaned. Ah, fuck it, I don’t have anything better to do. I guess I could hear her out.

  I walked over and reached out my hand. “Come on.”

  She accepted my hand, pulling herself to her feet. “You can call me Bea. What’s your name?”

  “My name is Yuseng. But you can call me Megatron.”

  She looked at me quizzically before leading me to a badly damaged carriage. Yeah no, something is definitely fishy. It looked as if a massive boulder fell on top of it, caving in the coach.

  Slicing off the straps, we each climbed onto a horse.

  “Lead the way,” I said with a wide flourish.

  “Yes ma’am,” replied a voice from beneath me.

  I nearly fell off the horse from how startled I was.

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  I am, in fact, worrying about it.

  The horse snorted. “The name’s Billy. Billy Bob the Third. Nice to meet ya.”

  Born from the union between a centaur and a minotaur, you get…. A horse.

  “Oh and that’s my sister. She got the other half.”

  “I think I’ll just walk.”

  “I insist. Please, get on,” he said, gesturing with a hoof. “Trust me, I’m the fastest horse around.”

  I mounted him reluctantly. While he was indeed fast, he had no consideration for me. I couldn’t count the amount of times I’ve slammed into a tree, probably due to a concussion. It seemed like he was getting me snagged on branches and brushes on purpose. Twigs were getting caught in my air and I was getting dragged through the dirt (quite literally). Zero out of five, would not recommend.

  My mind wandered off to some weird places on the way to their father, if they even have one. Could he talk to other horses? Could I learn how to speak horse? Am I even real?

  Soon, I was brought before a solidly built wood cabin. The cabin smelled strangely sweet and herbal. I rubbed my nose, sneezing as soon as I walked into the cabin. A frail centaur laid in a bed of hay and straw, neighing in greeting? Or at least I assume that was a greeting.

  They both neighed back.

  “Neighhhh….?”

  “What… Did you just say about my mother.”

  “Nothing. Please, continue.”

  She began feeding her father a carrot. You know what, I’m not even going to question it.

  The centaur coughed terribly, his equestrian legs spasming wildly in the air. He grimaced, his face contorting into a look of agony. “Please,” he gasped, struggling to steady his breath. “The pain… It’s unbearable.”

  His fingers twitched, pointing at me. “And who is this homeless, I mean, lady you brought before me? I’ve always wanted to meet your girlfriend.”

  I scoffed in disbelief. Could this day get any worse?

  “Don’t worry father,” grunted Billy. “She will join us in search of the medicine.”

  Bea pulled me closer, leading me outside. “We are going to heist the nearby adventurer city for the medicine,” she whispered. “Will you join us?”

  “Meh, sounds like a lot of work.”

  “Come again?”

  I sighed heavily. “Sure, fuck it, why not?”