Chapter 4: Mad Dogs and Englishmen

  Liam decided that he needed to find out if there people around who had survived and, worst case scenario, somewhere to hole up. Finding a weapon would be nice too.

  The park was close to a residential area of semi-terraced houses. The red brick houses had lasted the test of time and would hopefully survive this apocalypse.

  As he was leaving the park he noticed that one of the metal fence panels was broken. With some effort he was able to detach a steel bar with a pointed end. Much better than an umbrella, he thought. The bar was solid not tubular like some of the cheaper fences. It also had a good heft to it.

  While he felt a little strange approaching a house with a weapon in his hand, he was not about to take any chances. He approached the first house opened the gate and walked up to the door. The house was quiet but that did not mean anything. There could be twenty people watching him from behind curtains.

  He knocked on the plain wooden door. The noise echoed a little and made him a little twitchy. He knocked a few more times but there was no response.

  The second house he approached he could have sworn he saw a curtain twitch but again no one answered the door.

  It wasn’t until he reached the sixth house that he finally got a response.

  Even before he knocked a man yelled, “Go away. We’ve got our own religion.”

  “What do you think I am? I am not trying to sell you religion, I want some help.”

  “Help through prayers, is it? I’ve heard it before. Bugger off!”

  Liam sighed under his breath. He had the feeling this is what it was like to be a door-to-door salesperson. “I’ve been attacked by giant rats and almost killed by a rogue taxi. Let me ask you something, is your electricity working?”

  “Don’t tell me that is because God is angry because of our sins? La de dah! You and your fancy god talk. Takes good care of you, does he? He has a golden piss-pot ready for you in Heaven?”

  “I am not a Jehovah Witness. For fuck’s sake try listening.”

  “Maybe you’re not but then giant rats are not real you know. You some conspiracy nut? You one of those people who rant about the government putting hallucinogens in our water? Do you sit in pubs telling everyone the world is going to end? Blokes like me just want to have a quiet drink. Now bugger off before I call the police.”

  Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

  “Fucking hell,” Liam said. “Fuck this!”

  He should have known better. He could have been on fire and the guy would think he was making it up.

  Liam was about to leave when he saw something coming down the streets. A lot of somethings. These were not rats.

  He pulled into the side yard - the gap between the houses - and watched as the creatures approached. Their approach was a shambolic, chaotic mess. The creatures were just over three foot tall on average and dressed in mismatch armour. The weapons they waved around were what could only be described as rusty shivs. They hopped, walked and danced around with gaping mouths and vacant stares. All except for the one in the centre.

  He was taller than the rest. instead of the usual furs and scraps of leather he had a rusty iron breastplate and an axe that actually had some shiny patches. He barked twice and some semblance of order took place.

  Liam didn’t need an analyse skill to know what these creatures were. Goblins! They were a common trope in fantasy fiction. They were also universally despised except by a few. Goblins were notoriously stupid and immoral.

  They reminded him of his uncle Nigel. The idiot had tried setting his house on fire to claim the insurance money. Unfortunately, he had forgotten that he needed to exit the house before it burned down. That story never failed to bring a chuckle at family gatherings.

  Goblins broke off in smaller groups to go from house to house. Within seconds windows were broken and they swarmed inside the houses. Screams came from a couple of houses that sent shivers down Liam’s spine. It was one thing to know humans had been killed it was another to have it happen in front of you. But what could he do? He would be swarmed within seconds. It was the rat situation all over again. Except this time, he wasn’t trapped.

  He walked as quietly as he could through the side yard until he reached the concrete patio behind the houses. There he stopped. The wall at the back was eight foot high. He thought he could probably climb it and escape from this nightmare but he was torn. Even though he did not know the people who lived in these houses he could not stand by and watch them be slain. He wanted to survive but not at any cost.

  He ran to the garden wall. It was eight feet high but to his surprise he easily pulled himself up. Standing in the wall he was able to grasp onto a pipe at the side of the house and pull himself up.The pipe creaked alarmingly, but he was able to slowly inch up it. His heart beat quickly in his chest not only out of fear about what he was doing but also about how much time he was taking.

  He reaching the height of the second floor window. He grabbed the ledge and pulled himself onto. He steadied himself and then activated diamond nails. The spell activated more quickly this time. He bit down on the pain. He just needed a few seconds.He scraped one nail along the edge of the glass. The nail cut easily into the glass.

  He moved as quickly as he could - cutting the glass as close to the adage as possible. A large rectangle of glass fell forwards and crashed to the ground. The goblins noise was easily lost among the loud crashes from the goblins.

  Liam climbed through the window. Phase one complete.

  Now he had to get the grumpy man out of here.

  He saw that he was in a child’s bedroom. The bed was literally covered in soft toys and there was a pink study desk in one corner which had rows upon rows of neatly arranged markers on it. To his right was a pastel blue book shelf stuffed to overflowing with books.

  He ran through the room and opened the door to see stairs leading down. At the bottom of the stairs was a middle-aged man wielding a large kitchen knife. A little girl still dress in pajamas was clinging to his side.

  “Come with me if you want? to live,” Liam said. He had always wanted to say that.