Cal woke to a very familiar, distinctly unpleasant sensation. She was drowning in goo. This was not the first time Cal had drowned in goo, but she was hopeful it would be the last, provided the ripper had done what she’d said she’d do.

  As her body once again adapted to the sensation of drowning in goo, Cal noticed that something was different. She would expect to hear the low hum of the recirculator, and maybe the faint, higher-pitched noises of other hospital machinery outside her tank.

  There was a base hum, that much was true. And the goo was moving. But it was wrong. The hum felt too deep, too loud. The goo wasn’t circulating, it was shaking.

  And then everything went THUD all at once.

  With a severe sucking noise, the box full of goo that Cal was inside split open at all the seams and spilled her into the light. Goo flowed from her mouth and throat and lungs and she retched on her hands and knees.

  But she was back up in moments, just in time to flip off the empty blue sky above.

  ‘Get fucked you fucking…’

  There was a teenager standing nearby.

  Cal took a deep breath. Her lungs didn’t hurt.

  She took another deep breath. She was naked in a field and there was a teenaged girl standing there, panting, blushing, and staring at Cal’s breasts.

  Cal looked at her chest just to double check that there wasn’t something particularly interesting about her breasts. There wasn’t. What there was, was a bright red gash down the middle of her chest. That was supposed to be there.

  The teenager wasn’t.

  ‘Eyes up here, kid,’ Cal said.

  The teenaged girl blushed even harder, but met Cal’s eyes. ‘I’m not a kid,’ the kid said.

  Cal scoffed, she was pretty good at scoffing. ‘What are you, like eleven or something?’

  The girl looked about fifteen, but Cal had not once failed to offend a teenager by accusing them of not yet being a teenager.

  ‘I’m fifteen,’ the girl said. ‘I’m not a kid.’

  ‘Well, Fifteen, who are you and where am I?’ Cal demanded.

  The girl crossed her arms and glowered. Like most teenagers Cal had met, the girl was very good at glowering. ‘I’m Sever, and you’re in my house.’

  Cal looked around again. They were definitely in a field. To her left was a bit of a woodland, to her right were some mountains. Off in the distance ahead she was pretty sure she could see a river. Behind her was mostly more fields, with some mountains just over the horizon.

  ‘Funny looking house you’ve got,’ Cal said.

  Sever uncrossed and recrossed her arms and glowered harder.

  ‘Well, Sever, can you point me in the direction of civilisation? I’ve just been robbed and I need some clothes.’

  Sever shrugged, arms still crossed. ‘No,’ she said.

  Cal resisted the urge to cross her own arms. Instead she interlaced most of her fingers, except for her index fingers, and poked herself in the chin. ‘Is that because you don’t want to, or because you don’t know, Sever?’

  Sever broke eye contact and looked at her feet. But she recovered valiantly. ‘Did you have open heart surgery in space?’

  Cal grinned. ‘No, I did not have open heart surgery in space, Sever,’ she said. ‘That would be ridiculous.’

  Sever nodded several times and did her best not to smile. ‘And you don’t seem at all ridiculous.’

  ‘I’m a very serious person with very serious problems, Sever,’ Cal said. ‘And I appreciate that you appreciate that.’

  ‘You do seem like a very serious person,’ Sever said. ‘I imagine you have a very serious name.’ She rubbed her chin. ‘Something like Reginald.’

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  Cal snorted. ‘People call me Calendar, on account of my calendar.’

  The corners of Sever’s mouth twitched up, but she was doing well at keeping a straight face. ‘A very serious calendar, no doubt,’ she said. ‘With very serious things on it.’

  Cal nodded very seriously. ‘Unless I was unconscious for longer than I think, something very serious was coming up in three days. I suspect, but cannot say for sure, that it is no longer coming up.’

  Sever nodded very seriously, opened her mouth, and then frowned. ‘Is that good or bad?’

  Cal shrugged expansively. ‘Either I’ll die, or I won’t. Depends on if those…’ Cal took a deep breath and looked at the sky. ‘Lovely people who took all my stuff and dumped me here held up their part of the deal or not.’

  ‘You can swear in front of me, I’m not a kid,’ Sever said.

  Cal grinned. ‘Difference of opinion. If you don’t know where we are, can you narrow it down at all?’

  Sever scrunched up her face. ‘Mid-Central,’ she said, then, just to be sure, added: ‘Hialt.’

  ‘Mid…’ Cal took a deep breath. ‘You’re sure I can swear around you, Sever?’

  Sever looked distinctly less certain than a moment ago, but she nodded.

  ‘Those tiny little blue-eyed cunts,’ Cal said, deadpan. ‘Have dropped me on almost the exact opposite side of the world.’

  Sever frowned. ‘That wasn’t that bad.’

  Cal took a deep breath. She was enjoying doing that. ‘Sever, you ever seen a vagina?’

  To her credit, Sever didn’t look away from Cal’s eyes. ‘You’re still naked, Calendar.’

  ‘Call be Cal,’ Cal said. ‘Imagine a vagina.’

  Sever blushed.

  ‘Give it blue eyes.’

  Sever blanched.

  ‘Exactly,’ Cal said. ‘If you had to guess, Sever, which direction do you think would lead me to civilisation?’

  ‘Depends how you define civilisation,’ Sever said. ‘Somewhere that way.’ She pointed into the woods.

  Cal nodded, took a single step, and fell over.

  Sever burst out laughing.

  Cal pushed herself upright again. ‘That was unexpected.’ She took another deep breath. Her legs felt fine. She looked at her feet and tried again. This time, her legs did what they were supposed to.

  She hadn’t thought about it, but it had been a while since Cal had walked. She hadn’t expected to forget how to do it.

  ‘Did they mess with your brain, too?’ Sever asked.

  Cal kept on staring at her feet. ‘No, that was me,’ she said.

  Both of them watched Cal’s feet as she took several more steps.

  ‘Sever, what are you doing out here?’ Cal asked, watching her feet. ‘I think you’re not coming to civilisation with me.’

  Sever shrugged. ‘You landed in my house, remember?’

  Cal looked around again and tried to keep walking at the same time. She didn’t fall over this time, but it was a near thing. ‘I’m still not seeing a house. Why did you run out here?’

  Sever shrugged again, crossed her arms again. ‘I didn’t run.’

  Cal nodded and tripped on nothing. She barely managed to keep her feet.

  Cal was very proud of herself for making it to the trees without falling all the way over again. It felt like she was getting the hang of walking again. It wasn’t something she’d expected to need to do. But it was good.

  The thicker grass and crawling plants were pointy. Cal wasn’t wearing anything at all, much less shoes.

  ‘I’m out here because civilisation didn’t work out very well,’ Sever said, from where she hadn’t moved, several metres from the edge of the woods.

  Cal stopped and thought through a few options before going with what seemed most likely for someone living on the edge of the wilderness. ‘The Interplanetary Administration Service arrived, did they?’

  ‘I expect that would have been better,’ Sever said.

  Cal turned back to look at Sever, arms grossed, severe frown on her face. Very few people who had had the Interplanetary Administration Service arrive in the last eighty-odd years would have said such a thing.

  Sever wasn’t going to say what had actually happened.

  ‘Are you saying I should consider picking a different direction?’

  Sever shrugged. ‘I would, in your position.’

  Cal took a step out of the woods without looking at her feet and didn’t so much as stumble. ‘If you were in my position, you would have no idea what was going on in any direction.’

  Sever shrugged. ‘Then I am saying you should consider picking a different direction.’

  Cal nodded. ‘Any suggestion about which direction?’

  Saver shrugged again, then pointed across the fields to where the distant river curved away from the mountains. ‘The more traditional part of my house is over there. It’s not very civilised. But the cotton is basically grown, so you could probably get some clothes. And there’s food, and water.’

  Cal managed to walk all the way up to Sever without looking at her feet. She put her hands on Sever’s shoulders. Sever blushed.

  ‘Eyes up here, Sever,’ Cal said. ‘I just need to know one thing before I go back to the more traditional part of your house.’

  Sever blushed harder and maintained eye contact. She nodded.

  ‘Were you running over here in the hopes of eating me, or of something useful falling from the sky?’

  Sever spluttered. She straightened her face, and shrugged. ‘If you hadn’t survived I wouldn’t turn down free food.’

  Cal patted her on the shoulder. ‘Good answer, Sever. Lead the way.’

  Sever cackled.