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23 - Kobolds, Biscuits, Beads, and Blood

  The tunnel we entered started as a dry dirt and rock jenga pile of anxiety. But farther in, the tunnel turned into a stone passage that widened out. It wasn’t too long before we had to take out our lamps, twists and turns taking us away from the light of day. I ran my hand over the walls, feeling the coldness of the stone and the moisture condensing on it.

  I had the sudden feeling of walking through one of those tunnels that went through aquariums, the feeling of all that weight above me. One crack, and that was it. Only here, it was solid stone, not water. I shook off the feeling and hoped that none of the passages ahead of us shrank. The walls are not closing in. I’m not claustrophobic. I’m not claustrophobic.

  Cold air chilled further as the tunnel widened into a cavern. Our lamps did not reach out far enough to see the far walls or the ceiling. “It’s just like being outside on a moonless, cloudy night,” I said. While I thought, NO IT’S NOT! Just keep telling yourself that, dude.

  This was not like the wolves’ den back in the starting area. We were much deeper than that. I had unlocked a new phobia, and my heart beat like I had just ran ten miles. “Uh, guys? I’m not doing so hot.”

  “Seriously? Finn, you got to pull it together. This is a decent cavern. I’ve been in some that sections would collapse every few minutes! And Marken mentioned a kobold village. They would not live in a cavern that wasn’t stable,” Harper replied.

  “Unless they were insane. Or under the control of a dragon. Or a wizard,” Jerseil added cheerfully.

  “Jerseil, you’re not helping! Chill your harsh,” Harper hissed.

  I was calmed by the idea that the presence of kobolds was a good sign of stability. Jerseil hadn’t thrown me off, as I was willing to bet Harper knew better. “Thanks, Harper. That helps.” The panic lessened but was still there. I tried not to focus on it, but at least it wasn’t getting worse. This wasn’t genuine anxiety, as far as I knew.

  Like this guy, Alex, that I used to lift with. He had good days and bad days, even on medication. He didn’t always answer the phone when his mental state was bad, and on those days, I let him deal with it. But on the bad days when he answered, I’d hang with him and watch his favorite movies. And eat pizza. From the way he explained how it worked and what it did to him, I didn’t have full-blown anxiety. This was not good, but it likely would not be my norm. Not if I could be soothed so easily.

  I took a deep breath and started with that first step. “Come on, we got a beast to find.”

  We were walking for about twenty minutes when we came upon a sleeping creature. It was definitely humanoid, but about four feet tall. Its pronounced snout was open as it snored, and its ears were wide and bat-like, and the damned thing reminded me of a lizard dingo hybrid. The dirty, brownish-red scales that covered its body reflected some of the light, and they prompted a partial memory of something big with lots of teeth.

  “What is that?” I whispered, not wanting to rouse it.

  “That, my friend, is a kobold. An older one at that, likely to be a cast out,” Jerseil replied at the same decibel level.

  This is a kobold? I thought. At least it’s too small to be a threat. “Should we leave it be or tie it up?” I asked.

  “If its tribe has thrown it out, then we don’t need to worry about it. It might be helpful to talk with it,” Harper said thoughtfully.

  The creature chose that moment to wake up. It opened its eyes and looked at us with some trepidation. “You no kill, yes? Not want to eat me, no. Taste bad!” it said.

  Harper knelt down and put her hands out, palms open. “We don’t want to hurt you. We are new here and hope to get some information.”

  The creature sat up, its ears went from drooping to out and up. “Information? What looking for? Me good information, bad for eating. Maybe… Trade? Yes?” the kobold replied.

  “What’s your name?” Harper asked gently.

  “Druzzik. Trade now? Food?” the kobold answered hopefully.

  Harper smiled and pulled out a travel biscuit and handed it over. Druzzik looked at it curiously, like the kobold had never seen one, before taking a tentative bite. The kobold looked like they were at a wine tasting. Druzzik’s eyes widened and then gobbled the biscuit like it was ambrosia.

  “More information, more food trade?” Druzzik asked.

  It was so innocent and amusing that we all, except for the slightly confused Kobold, laughed. Harper pulled another biscuit into her hand. “Of course, Druzzik. Can you tell us why you are out here all alone?”

  The kobold nodded eagerly, reaching for the biscuit. “Yes, yes! Easy trade. Druzzik on quest! Important quest. Me not allowed back until quest complete,” Druzzik said proudly, sticking its chest out. “Druzzik adventurer. Druzzik last adherent of Great Dragon.”

  “An adventurer? Druzzik, we are adventurers, too. Perhaps we can help each other,” Harper said. She handed the Kobold the biscuit, which was immediately consumed. The kobold had obviously not eaten for a while.

  “What was that about a dragon?” I asked.

  Druzzik looked up at me expectantly, and didn’t answer until I handed him one of my travel biscuits. “Yes. She missing,” the kobold said sadly. “No Great Dragon, no purpose. Tribe disagreed. Tribe Charged me with finding Great Dragon. Or no comeback. Druzzik exiled. Called Heretic.”

  But the little kobold only looked dejected for a moment. “Druzzik skilled warrior. Will complete quest. Have purpose to find purpose! Triumphant return! Get wife!”

  “My gods,” said Jerseil quietly. “This little guy thinks he can find a dragon. No one has seen one for centuries.”

  Druzzik leaped to his feet a stick in hand. One end of which was thick and bulbous, reminding me of a Shillelagh. My family had one that had been passed down for generations. Despite the tumultuous move to America by my great-great-grandparents.

  “Green demon man wrong. Great Dragon live in caves for long time, watched and guided tribes. Kobolds protect Great Dragon and Clutch. Bring her food. Sing to Great Dragon,” he said, shaking his Shillelagh at Jerseil angrily.

  “Hold on, Druzzik. Outside of here, no one has seen any dragons for centuries. If there was a dragon here, then no one knew. I’m sorry if I offended you.” Jerseil said.

  The kobold seemed mollified. “Druzzik not lie. Druzzik remembers stories. Parents told Druzzik. Told of her beauty. She protected tribes. Loved tribes,” he said. “Then She gone.”

  Harper put a hand up. “Druzzik, what about the tribes? Will they take issue with us?” She handed the kobold another biscuit. This time, he carefully folded a piece of cloth around it and placed it in what appeared to be a knapsack that he had used as a pillow. Druzzik then sat, getting comfortable

  “Druzzik tribe, no. Druzzik tribe adopt new ways. Other tribes, yes. Not like outsiders. Kill outsiders. And Mole People. Mole People bad.”

  “Okay. So it’s going to be a fight, no matter what. Thank you Druzzik. You’ve been really helpful.”

  Druzzik nodded, pleased with the feedback. As Harper stood up, he stood up, too, realizing that we were leaving. “Wait! Druzzik has more to trade! Druzzik adventurer, too! Maybe travel with you? Me excellent guide! Perhaps finish quests together?”

  Damn it, he has a point. A guide would be useful, I thought. “I would be good with it, if you two are,” I said to Harper and Jerseil.

  Jerseil, not convinced, shook his head slightly while Harper looked thoughtfully at the kobold.

  “We could use a guide. It’s going to be dangerous either way, yet maybe less so with someone who is local.”

  With a sigh, Jerseil pulled out his instrument and strummed a few chords. Druzzik made an excited, appreciative noise of delight. Jerseil, still strumming, looked at the kobold. “All right Druzzik. Just got a couple of questions for you. How long have you been on this quest of yours? And how long ago were you kicked out of your tribe?”

  The grinning kobold was bouncing on the balls of his feet to the music. “Druzzik has wanted to find Great Dragon for long time. Druzzik talked about. Me had several talkings to. Then Druzzik kicked out and told no return until find Great Dragon. Maybe two weeks? Me thinks two weeks.”

  Jerseil shrugged his shoulders, putting his guitar-like instrument away. “He’s telling the truth. Never traveled with a kobold before, but he’s more honest than a lot of non-kobolds I’ve met over the years.”

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  “Green demon man, play more?” Druzzik asked.

  “Not right now. And it’s Jerseil, not green demon man,” he replied.

  ****************************

  The little kobold led us towards his village. The village that had kicked him out and given him an impossible task. According to Druzzik, the only way forward was through the village. The village lay at the other end of this cavern, where it shrank to the size of a large tunnel. That tunnel led to the next series of caverns, where there were multiple branching tunnels.

  I was unsure if his tribe would allow him, let alone us, through their village. If they did without harming us or our new guide, it would be a blessing. Since meeting the little guy, I would hate to kill kobolds. I may not have a choice. Especially past Druzzik’s tribe.

  It didn’t take too long to find out, though. The approach to the village was well lit, and two lightly armored kobold guards awaited our approach with weapons ready.

  “Halt! No closer. Why with Heretic?” asked the guard on the left of the gate.

  “Me guiding adventurers! Not coming home yet. Help adventurers, help me find Great Dragon!” replied our guide.

  “Heretic no speak!” shouted the one on the right. They looked to us. “Is true? Heretic Guide, no trick?”

  “Yes, Druzzik is guiding us deeper into the cave system. May we be allowed to pass through with him? We mean you no harm,” Harper stated. Her hands were out in front of her, palms out.

  The two guards looked at each other, apparently unsure. The one on the left grabbed a horn off his belt and gave it a tootle. Soon another kobold guard came out of the gate, looked at us, and had a quiet conversation with the guards. This one had nicer armor, probably signifying a higher rank.

  The higher-ranked guard approached us without fear. “What reason in caves, strangers?”

  “We are here on a quest to find a beast per the request of the Voice,” I said without hesitation. “Nothing more. If we can avoid killing anyone while doing so, I would count that as a victory.”

  “Kobolds are people? Not monsters?” he asked, looking at me strangely.

  “Yes. How could you not be?” I replied.

  The kobold smiled. “Strangers may pass! No, not strangers. Friends! And Heretic.” He grabbed my hand, shaking it and pulling me toward the gate, where he gave all of us, except Druzzik, colorful necklaces of beads. “Friends get passes. Walk safe through village. Tribe accept you when back!”

  The village itself was not too advanced, with simple structures only slightly better than huts. It was understandable, considering the lack of easy building materials in the caves. But it was clean, and the tribe waved to us when they saw the beads around our neck. Though some of them glared at our guide, who pretended not to notice. A kobold guard ran past us, deeper into the village.

  An older kobold stopped us before the gate leading to the rest of the cave system. He wore what I could only assume was a crown, made from metal, stone, and wood. And colorful feathers that could only have come from the surface.

  “New friends. Heretic,” he said solemnly.

  “Uncle,” replied our guide, a hint of sadness in his voice.

  “Help Heretic, careful other tribes. Hostile. Don’t trust. Not living new way,” he said. “Come back, we feast!” Then the old kobold turned his back on us and walked away. Druzzik watched after him for a moment, then started walking toward the gate.

  “Come, come. We must go,” he said.

  “That was your Uncle? And you were kicked out?” Jerseil asked as we walked.

  Without turning, the kobold guiding us nodded. “Rules are rules, and me broke them.”

  Jerseil looked like he wanted to say more, but Harper shook her head. We walked out the gate and into a well-lit tunnel. I noticed that there were several guards at this gate with slings and spears. That is worrisome. What is out there that has them so concerned? I didn’t know if there was anything other than the other kobold tribes and the mole people.

  It didn’t change the fact we had a long way to go, and I had yet to see any indications that made me think “beast” trail. There were several tracks, but mostly of kobolds and smaller things. I was sure we would find something, but the likelihood of finding it until we were deeper was small.

  As Druzzik led us out of the tunnel and into the next cavern, I could see the masses of lights in the distance, signifying other villages. If what we were told was true, it was about to get very difficult, and very bloody.

  “Follow. We avoid much,” the kobold said, leading us along the left side of the cavern. What he didn’t know was that a party of kobolds from one of the hostile tribes in the cavern were heading along that same wall. Toward us.

  What I didn’t know was that kobolds can practically see in the dark. Which meant they could see us coming and prepared to ambush us. And since our guide’s ability to see in the dark was being hampered by our lamps, he didn’t see what we were walking into.

  It happened fast. As soon as we walked into their traps, it was too late. There was a snap as I stepped into their version of a bear trap and naturally cried out in pain. I went to a knee clutching my leg, which may have saved my life as a spear flew over my head. A small shape flew through the air onto Jerseil.

  Harper, as usual, was one with the shadows and was in the dark, killing our attackers. I heard Jerseil swearing as he grappled with the smaller form of the attacking kobold. One rushed me with a spear and I immediately cast Ice Shard twice at the screaming kobold, aiming and hitting it in the eye. Its head jerked back, and it kept coming towards me for a few steps before collapsing and sliding into my trapped leg. The pain almost made me pass out; my leg was definitely broken.

  Another was coming at me only to be tackled by our guide, who proceeded to beat the ever-loving shit out of the other kobold with his shillelagh. Blood splattered as the knobby end staved in the other kobold’s face.

  As yet another of the assholes was about to run him through, I cast several more spears of ice at it, pinning it to the rock it had been hiding behind. It screamed in pain, twitched a couple times as it grasped at one length of ice sticking out of its chest, then went slack.

  A panting Druzzik, his face half covered with blood, approached me and got to work on the trap. “Finn good friend. Save Druzzik when Druzzik saving Finn!” the Kobold said. He grunted as he did something to the trap and it released my leg. I, of course, did the reasonable thing and passed out.

  I woke up a little later, gasping and choking, as a very concerned kobold poured a health potion down my throat.

  “Jesus, dude!” I coughed and took the bottle from him. I grimaced in pain as the health potion did its unpleasant job of fixing my leg. “Fuck, that hurts! Sorry. Thank you, Druzzik.”

  “Finn, you alright?” asked Harper as she entered the light.

  “Yeah. I’m fine. Druzzik here had my back. Where’s Jerseil?”

  “Here!” Jerseil said from above us. “I think I could use some help, too. I seem to have rolled into a trap with this, now dead, kobold.”

  “Druzzik help you, green demon—Jerseil!” the kobold said and dashed into the dark.

  “Did we get all of them?” I asked Harper, who scanned the area for threats.

  “I’m pretty sure we did. There were, like, fourteen of them. I got nine, I think.”

  That made sense. “The two I killed, the one Jerseil killed, and the one our little friend got—”

  “Fuck!” Harper said sharply. “And the one that ran to get help. We gotta move. Druzzik, can you hurry up and get—”

  Just then, three things happened: Druzzik yelled “Got it,” Harper looked up and jumped back, and the combined mass of one male kobold and one male cambion landed right on my healing leg. I decided to be reasonable again and passed the fuck out.

  Not surprisingly, when Jerseil rolled off of me, the pain woke me right back up. “Fuck! God Damn it, Jerseil! Careful!” I yelled. Popping another health potion into my hand, I carefully sat up and drank it. This had the hoped for effect of speeding up my leg’s recovery and the negative affect of yet more pain.

  “We don’t have time for this,” warned Harper. “I’m sorry, Finn, but we have to move. Jerseil, can you help him until he can walk?”

  “I can,” he replied. The bard had just cut his way out of the net and got to his feet. Once free, he helped me up, trying to take as much weight off my right leg as possible. We moved like that until the health potion had finished its work and I could move on my own. I could hear the cries of anger from more kobolds behind us.

  “They’ll be tracking us soon. Druzzik, is there another path we could take?” Harper asked.

  The kobold shook his head slowly. “Only if flying. Maybe in mile,” he said. The sounds of the kobolds behind us changed to ones of triumph. “Maybe run now?”

  Not that we were giving up any pretext of stealth, with our lamps giving us away when there was a direct line of sight, but we did not run silently. Druzzik led the way with surprising speed for such short legs. With a grace beyond any ballerina or athlete, Harper spun and ran backwards to monitor our back trail.

  We passed several smaller cave openings, none of which our kobold guide gave more than a second glance to. Nor did he say anything about them. “Chasm ahead. Over bridge, we rest!” the wild-eyed kobold called back to us.

  “They’re catching up!” said Harper. “How far is the bridge?”

  “Soon!” Druzzik said over his shoulder.

  The chasm was a wide crack in the cavern’s floor, through the left side wall and stretching farther than I could see. And the bridge was not what I expected, being a haphazard scaffolding of lashed together roots. I don’t know why I expected a stone bridge, but perhaps kobold society hasn’t sufficiently recovered from its schism following the loss of their Great Dragon to build proper infrastructure. And it may have been that they didn’t build things like that.

  The thing shook with our steps, bouncing a lot with our weight. Druzzik paused at the middle, cutting certain lashings when the rest of us were across. When done, he rejoined us. “Bridge unsafe now. Poor construction. More than one kobold? Down it goes!” he said with a grin.

  I sat on a rock and tried to catch my breath. Despite the difference in construction, it reminded me of another bridge. Druzzik must have seen the pain in my face because he sat down next to me.

  “What wrong, friend Finn?” he asked.

  With a sigh, I told him about Juan. I told him about the fight at the Bridge of Ankana’Zuul and how Juan died such an ignoble death. And how helpless I felt when I couldn’t do anything.

  When I finished, he patted me on the leg. “Sharing good. Better pain out, not keep close. Friends good for share. Sorry not meet Juan,” the kobold said.

  “Thank you, Druzzik,” I said. It was strange how much the kobold had warmed to me. But I did save his life. And he saved mine. Is that all it took anymore? “I’d bet you would have gotten along.”

  Jerseil came over to join us. “Is there another bridge?” he asked our guide.

  “Yes, but far. They try here. Then far one.” Druzzik replied, gesturing widely at the chasm.

  “Good. Too bad our way back isn’t going to be as easy.”

  I looked around, “Where’s Harper?” I asked.

  “She went to scout ahead as we caught our breath. Something about checking for more traps for us to step in. You know, it’s ridiculous how unbothered she was by that run. She’s amazing,” he said with a smile. “We’re to wait until she gets back.”

  I nodded and stood up. Looking in the direction we were heading, I noticed something just inside of the circle of light. What, wait, is that a footprint in the stone? I stepped forward, the lamp on my pack strap illuminating more of the strange depression.

  “Finn, what are you—” Jerseil said until I held up a hand.

  It was massive. Six feet long and maybe 3 feet wide, with a one depression in back like a spur, and five claw depressions in the front, it was impressive. I saw another of the same size to the left and forward of this one. It had been unseeable before, outside of the light.

  I heard Druzzik gasp behind me. And in my head, I heard the Voice.

  ‘Update on the Quest to Find The Beast. Finn the Mage has found evidence of the beast. A trail to track. But what dangers will he and his companions face? Will the beast be willing to go with him, or will he have to capture it? Finn must follow the tracks without fail. Figure out the beast’s connection to the kobolds.’

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