?Ren’s Mt. Gasan Chaos Arc Tier List (Filler Chapter Edition)?
Ranked from “God-Tier Unhinged” to “Why Is This My Life?”
Narrated by: Ren, mentally unstable spiritual protagonist and certified Croc criminal.
---
I’m sitting in what may or may not be a haunted convenience store bathroom, holding a suspiciously glowing scroll, covered in steam burns and spiritual glitter, and it hits me—
I need to make a tier list.
Not a normal one. A trauma-tier list. For educational purposes. For the fans. For the f**king IRS if they ever audit me.
The Mt. Gasan Arc was not a vibe. It was a legally actionable fever dream with a budget.
So here we go.
---
S-TIER (Spiritually Traumatizing)
> Peak insanity. Top-shelf chaos. These broke me emotionally, physically, and possibly legally.
---
1. Inner Demon Hot Ren? (a.k.a. Mental Gymbro Ren)
Let’s talk about the unsolicited spiritual thirst trap that is me, but buffer, meaner, and definitely an Aries. This bitch lives in my subconscious rent-free and charges me rent.
Imagine looking into a mirror and seeing your intrusive thoughts flexing. That’s him.
He said stuff like:
“You should heal. Like, now.”
“Your vibe’s off, babe. Fix it.”
“You call that a personality?”
He had the abs of an anime villain and the emotional availability of a motivational Instagram account. He forced me into a three-hour spiritual gym montage where every rep triggered another childhood memory.
He bench-pressed my trauma while whispering my search history.
I haven't slept right since.
God-tier menace. Would punch again.
---
2. Vending Machine (Sentient & Problematic)
First of all, I did not consent to falling in love with a vending machine. Second of all, why was it sentient?
It kept showing up in critical moments like some cursed product placement.
You know how some vending machines eat your coins? This one ate my will to live and spat out a scroll that screamed in Latin.
It started calling me "daddy" in Aramaic and tried to dispense a bag of my repressed memories.
Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.
Also, I think it has legs now?
I fear it... but I miss it. 10/10. S-tier stalker.
---
3. Hot Spring Battle Spa (Therapy But Make It Violent)
Imagine walking into a cute little hot spring to relax and suddenly the water attacks your trauma.
That’s this place.
Each bath had a theme. The “Guilt Jacuzzi” steamed like a mother’s disappointment. The “Shame Sauna” triggered three apology texts.
At one point, the bath bomb detonated a flashback to a middle school talent show. I screamed.
The exfoliating scrub? Salt and my ex’s voice saying “we need to talk.”
I left cleaner. But not better.
Healing hurts, bro. Still S-tier.
---
A-TIER (Actually Slaps)
> Would experience again. Would cry less this time. Maybe.
---
4. Passive-Aggressive Monks
These robed goblins of sass blessed me and then roasted my outfit.
“Ah, the chosen one,” one said. “With socks and Crocs?”
Their mantras were shade in iambic pentameter.
“May your soul bloom... unlike your fashion sense.”
“Sit. Meditate. Try not to cry again.”
One guy handed me a lotus flower and said, “It died because it saw your aura.”
I wanted to fight all of them. I also wanted their approval.
A-tier monks with B-tier empathy.
---
5. Mt. Gasan (The Emo Mountain)
This entire f**king mountain had vibes.
It sulked. It groaned when I stepped on it. At one point it erupted just because I ignored it.
It wrote sad poetry in smoke. Actual quote:
> “Cracked stone, cracked soul. Step on me, daddy.”
I did not hallucinate that. Probably.
But yo, the aesthetic? Incredible. Thunderstorms on command, fog that smells like incense and childhood guilt.
Mt. Gasan is the Sadboi of topography.
Love you, you moody geological king.
---
B-TIER (Unnecessarily Vibe-Checked)
> Why did this happen. Who signed off on this.
---
6. Enlightenment Scroll (Spiritually Condescending)
This piece of parchment glows when it senses bullshit. Mine lit up like a Christmas tree.
It insulted me in Comic Sans.
Every time I tried to read it, it rolled itself back up with a sarcastic “mmkay.”
At one point it displayed the words:
> “You’re not spiritually ready. Try again after less crying.”
Also it has a QR code that links to a Rickroll.
You know what? Fair. Still rude though.
---
7. Cursed Tea Ceremony
This one was supposed to help me “see my true self.” Instead, it helped me see the inside of my stomach lining.
The tea tasted like betrayal and rosemary.
It whispered secrets, like:
> “Your crush doesn’t like your memes.”
“Your grandma knows you faked your Hindi test score.”
I drank five cups. I cried in cursive. I may have astral projected into a k-drama.
10/10 uncomfortable enlightenment.
Would sip again with Pepto.
---
C-TIER (I Didn’t Ask For This)
> Why was this programmed into the arc? Delete this side quest.
---
8. Haunted Meditation Room
Room said: “Clear your mind.”
My brain said: “Time to replay every cringe moment since birth.”
The walls echoed my inner monologue at max volume.
“Why did you say ‘you too’ when the waiter said ‘enjoy your meal’?”
Also, there was a ghost. Not scary—just judgy. Floated over and said, “That’s your posture?”
The ambient soundtrack was “Live, Laugh, Love” backwards.
I meditated straight into a panic attack.
Still better than public school yoga class.
---
9. Ghostly Bootcamp Coach
An ex-military yokai in gym shorts screamed at me to “manifest harder.”
He threw chalk dust like it was holy.
I did a push-up and he yelled “your ancestors are disappointed!”
When I failed a spiritual squat, he screamed “FEEL THE BURN OF YOUR BLOODLINE.”
At one point he made me do a burpee every time I said “I’m fine.”
Spoiler: I did 87 burpees.
He then power-walked into the fog, leaving only the smell of Tiger Balm.
Respectfully? Sir, go touch grass.
---
D-TIER (Mentally & Physically Injurious)
> Why was this animated. I want a refund and a therapist.
---
10. Celestial Slug Kaiju
No.
This thing was a glowing slug the size of a skyscraper with the energy of a divorced middle school teacher.
It emerged when I hit a high note while singing in a cave.
It oozed divine slime. It sang in Gregorian chants. It tried to adopt me.
Its aura was sticky and smelled like unwashed socks and overdue karma.
It called me “Little Debt.”
I screamed. It screamed back, but in minor chords.
The vending machine tried to fight it. I don’t know who won.
I’m still cleaning slug glitter out of my trauma.
---
F-TIER (Just... No.)
> This isn’t even spiritual. This is just life bullying me.
---
11. Ren’s Life Choices
Yeah. Me. My decisions.
Crocs? My idea.
Wandering into a haunted mountain because a flaming tanuki dared me? Also me.
Saying “what’s the worst that could happen?” before entering a tea shop that whispered my ex’s last voicemail into my eardrums?
That’s on me, bestie.
This whole arc could’ve been avoided if I’d just gone to therapy.
Or bought better shoes.
Or not eaten that glowing mushroom at the start.
But here we are. Covered in tea, trauma, and ancient vending machine lust.
Zero stars. Would not recommend being me.
---
Final Thoughts:
So yeah. That was the Mt. Gasan Arc.
A spiritual rollercoaster built by drunk yokai with a grudge.
I didn’t find inner peace. I found a vending machine girlfriend and new reasons to fear baths.
But hey. At least I leveled up my sarcasm stat.
Next arc bette
r come with snacks and less sentient gym equipment.
Or I swear on my Crocs—I’m going feral.
