Previously on Yokai Scammed My Soul (No Refunds):
Ren unlocked Trauma Wig #2, fought a Hot Topic war criminal, and pissed off the entire Spirit Realm's operating system.
AND THEN—
Mid-bossfight. Wig in hand. Admin still charging his anime monologue.
A train whistle blared through the dimension like Thomas the Tank Engine on demon steroids.
Ren blinked.
"...Was that the sound of my last brain cell dying?"
Nope.
A train shattered the sky like someone blew an ocarina inside a blender.
The dimension split like a bag of off-brand Takis, and out of it charged a seven-foot-tall Oni in a conductor uniform, eyes glowing like he hadn’t slept since the Edo period.
||TICKET. EXPIRED.||
Ren had precisely one second to whisper...
"Wait wha—”
...before the Oni grabbed his ankle and yeeted him out of the Spirit Realm like a bootleg Pokemon card.
Ren shot down from the heavens, flailing like a bootleg superhero with trauma-based powers.
Wind screamed in his ears.
The Crocs screamed on his feet.
Wig #2 clutched in his hands like the last shred of dignity he owned.
They crashed through a billboard that said:
“Yokai Insurance: We Cover Possession & Divorce!”
Shards of glass, sparkles, a pigeon with a GoPro.
Below......
....was Tokyo. (cue Tokyo Drift)
Big.
Loud.
Chaotic.
Ren’s brain buffer symbol just spun violently.
~~~
Adachi — just an industrial, chill, lower-key ‘burbs... until Ren’s fall streaked through the sky like a holy meteor of bad decisions.
A bunch of uncles barbecuing in the park screamed:
“THE LEGEND RETURNS.”
Ren crashed through a laundromat roof and landed in someone’s futon like it's a spa retreat.
The granny inside baptizes him with hot tea.
He saw god.
Itabashi — Budget vibes, solid ramen, family-friendly.
But now? There’s a bootleg souvenir stand selling “Ren: Chaos Cometh” snowglobes.
A tanuki DJ blasted his scream on loop like it's lo-fi beats to dissociate to.
Someone threw a shoe. He didn’t know from where. He felt it spiritually.
Toshima — Otaku central, home of Ikebukuro. Maid cafes. Cosplay.
Ren smashed through a BL manga store’s LED sign.
A girl filming him said:
“Omg is this the live-action adaptation??”
He was too concussed to answer.
Meanwhile, furries gathered to discuss his Crocs lore.
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
Kita — Pretty tame, park zones, retro vibes.
That is— until Ren’s impact caused three vending machines to fuse into a cursed mecha selling haunted Pocari Sweat.
An old man screamed:
“THE YOKAI UPRISING HAS BEGUN”
...and put on a ninja headband from 1982.
Taito — it's got the Ueno Zoo, Ameyoko shopping, museums and art.
Keyword: used to
Ren dropkicked a billboard into the panda enclosure.
A panda takes his Croc and refuses to give it back.
Nurarihyon yelled:
||NOT THE CROCS!!!||
and slapped the panda in the nuts.
The panda stared...
...and punched Ren into another dimension.
"WHY MEE~"
A shrine maiden starts livestreaming.
Caption: “god is testing us again.”
Sumida — Tokyo Skytree lives here. Peaceful, riverside, aesthetic...
Until the Spirit Train parked MID-AIR outside the Skytree like it owns the place.
Tourists screamed.
A Karen tried to sue the train.
The train growled back.
Katsushika — Chill, family homes, retro Showa vibes.
But now?
Two elderly sisters have started a shrine to “St. Ren of the Raging Sky” with his face printed on a maneki-neko.
Ren sneezed.
Somewhere, a bell rang.
Edogawa — Tokyo’s wild east. Disney-adjacent. River parks.
A group of teens ride jet skis shaped like yokai and chase the Spirit Train screaming,
“WE STAN.”
Ren looks down and muttered:
“Am I... trending again??”
A kid yelled,
“YOU NEVER STOPPED.”
Arakawa — Old-school, factories, vintage trams.
Ren’s descent triggered an accidental blackout that causes vintage vending machines to spit out retro Game Boys.
A group of boomers take it as a sign of the second coming.
They named their bowling league after him.
Shinjuku — Skyscrapers. Nightlife. Chaos. Literal Godzilla statue.
Ren bounced off the Kabukicho sign and flattens three yakuza arguing over karaoke.
They declared him their new boss.
Godzilla roared in the distance.
Even he’s scared.
Shibuya — Trendy, loud, fashionable af.
Crowds at Shibuya Crossing parted like the Red Sea as Ren faceplants onto the crosswalk.
TikTok dances started forming around his body.
Someone put a bucket hat on him.
“You’re iconic,” they whisper.
Meguro — Classy af. Chill cafes. Cherry blossoms.
Ren’s chaos caused a sakura tree to bloom out of season and start singing.
A jazz ghost appeared. Nobody questioned it.
One lady tried to paint him mid-air.
She captured only despair.
Minato — Foreign embassies, rich people, and vibes.
Ren’s Croc got snatched mid-fall (again) by a falcon trained by a tech bro.
The U.S. embassy filed a complaint to the Spirit Realm.
Nurarihyon drank a frappuccino labeled “Chaos Latte” and flipped them off.
Chiyoda — THE IMPERIAL PALACE LIVES HERE.
And now so does Ren’s shoe.
The emperor (allegedly) watched the crash and said:
“Nice form.”
A corgi bowed respectfully.
Chuo — Ginza glitz, $$$ fashion, stock exchange stuff.
Ren crashes through a Louis Vuitton ad, emerges draped in silk like a knocked-out influencer.
People cheer.
One influencer yelled
“Tag me!”
Ren replied:
"Gag who?"
Koto — Waterfront views. Chill nightlife.
Now?
Water taxis started offering “Ren Dive Tours.”
Everyone’s in cosplay.
A guy in a wig yelled,
“I’M REN TOO!!”
...and bellyflops into the bay.
Bunkyo — University ward. Nerd central.
Ren plowed through Tokyo Dome and interrupts a Pokemon concert.
Children cheered and clapped.
Pikachu moonwalked away from the wreckage.
A professor offered Ren a scholarship in Chaos Theory.
Suginami — Indie, anime studios, funky cafes.
Anime studios started drawing Ren fanart before he even lands.
One animator shouted,
“I CAN SMELL A PROTAGONIST.”
A coffee shop releases a drink called “Ren’s Spiraling Sanity.”
Nakano — Otaku paradise #2. Nakano Broadway supremacy.
Ren crashed into a capsule toy machine.
Out pops a tiny figurine of himself holding a wig in one hand and flipping off with the other, crying.
A teen collects it and whispers,
“My blorbo...”
Setagaya — Chill residential, temples, rich auntie energy.
Local aunties gathered to “pray for the sky boy.”
They hold hands, manifest stability.
Ren flew past their garden and yelled
“IT’S NOT WORKINGGGG—”
Shinagawa — Transit hub. Hotels. Business core.
The Spirit Train crash-landed into the station.
Office workers paused. Sighed.
“This isn’t even the weirdest thing today.”
Someone gives Ren a bento.
“You look hungry and unwell.”
Taito (AGAIN!!) — Because Ren’s orbit is a boomerang of pain.
He lands in the Asakusa temple zone and a priest just throws holy water on him, no questions.
Ren screams,
“I’M SPIRITUAL NOT POSSESSED— well maybe a little.”
Okutama — Mountainous. Forest. Anime opening-core.
Ren, somehow, reached here mid-fall.
Deer bow to him.
A Tengu makes him honorary “Forest Problem Child.”
The trees whispered his lore to the wind.
Ota — Tokyo’s BIGGEST ward. Planes. Trains. Chill zones.
Ren crash-landed in a ramen shop’s mascot balloon.
The shop owner, unfazed, just asked,
“Want extra tofu?”
Ren sobs.
“Yes please.”
~~~
Ren’s tour-de-f*ck-up across Tokyo ended with him flailing back onto the Spirit Train, face down in ghost glitter, leaking trauma and noodles.
His internal monologue is just a dial-up modem and a single Windows error chime.
Ren looked at his reflection in the cursed window.
His face.
A map of sleep deprivation.
His Crocs.
Smoking.
His hair.
A tangled metaphor for his mental health.
He whispered:
“I am the meme, the prophecy AND the mess. Now I am become Death, the destroyer of logic...”
Nurarihyon patted his shoulder.
||BRO, YOU’RE GOING SO VIRAL. THEY’RE SELLING ‘I SURVIVED REN’S STORY ARC’ MERCH IN FIVE SPIRIT DIMENSIONS.||
Ren just dry-heaved.
~~~
Ren rocked in the corner of the train ceiling.
Ghosts played Uno.
A haunted saxophone played Careless Whisper off-key.
A pigeon on the roof whispered “debt.”
He whispered,
“I’m gonna commit arson. On my own plotline.”
The Oni turned.
||NEXT STOP: DENIAL||
Jorogumo beamed.
||OOH! THAT’S WHERE WIG #3 GOT STOLEN BY THAT EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE CENTIPEDE.||
Ren’s eye twitched so hard it started buffering.
~~~
BONUS: SPIRIT WEATHER FORECAST
||Tokyo Airspace: Currently experiencing a 60% chance of ghost tornadoes, raining socks, and rogue algorithms.||
A sock hit Ren’s face at Mach 10.
||Correction: 100%.||
