Humanity,

  For those who believe in God, human wasn't the first creation that God created. The creation of humans was perfect, but a human was never perfect since the beginning. Humans are perfectly imperfect. Every time I think of humans, I can not precisely describe my feelings. Why am I human? Why did Adam and Eve decide to sin? Why do we have to die just to go back 'home'? Answers lie in a book that has been kept away from humanity ever since the universe was created. To seek the answer is to unfold the pages as the fuse of time burns. When time runs out, it means you've found all the answers you seek, and your journey is complete.

  But to die,

  Is also to leave everything behind.

  Doesn't matter if you bring gold, jewellery, or wear nice attire for your funeral. You were born naked, and that is also how are you going to face the creator. Some of you accepted the fact that it is in our nature that we are going to die. Small parts of humanity are scared of it. Scared of something closer than the distance between your index and middle finger bound tightly with a piece of cloth. Spent thousands of treasures, just to own everything, to know that they're playing to lose.

  To take your own life is a spit to God's face. To seek more time is to compete with God.

  God is the owner of all power and emotions. He has no boundaries and to make him mad is as equal as sowing disasters in your own backyard, in your own family, and your own heart. That is why humans must be clean from sins not only because of the danger factor but also because sin is the heaviest addiction of all. Once you lie, you always lie. Once you hit your wife, you will always hit her no matter how many promises you made to her. A cancer starts with a small mutation, but it grows and spreads. A sin might be starting from a lie, taking someone's life, and finally defying God's law. As you normalize sin, the bigger its form, the less you acknowledge it, and the easier it is for you to get trapped inside the eternal fire of hell.

  The bigger the sin, the less likely you'll end up in a better place.

  Unless you repent.

  -------

  When you hear the word 'universe',

  All you can think about is how vast the space is outside the sky. Is there anyone besides us humanity? Endless void and planets, are we really alone on our own? A big room yet only we live in a tiny dot inside the room itself. Afraid of the unknown, we chose to rely on a higher being. Some humans get to choose which higher being(s) they believe in. For me, I trust in one. I pray to one. Higher beings communicate with us in a manner that normal humans could not understand. Ocean waves, gentle winds, some miracles, and for me...

  Through dreams.

  Surely not all dreams are the language of God. Some are also the devil's whispers. It's quite difficult to tell which is which. The easiest way to know is to let the future reveal itself. Devil's dream whispers, most of the time just bark and no bite. They scare you in a sense misguide you to another path. However God's plan, no matter what you think of it, will come true. But surely nobody knows when your dream whispers will manifest in real life. So another way to differentiate it is by how many days you have that same dream consecutively. Let's say three days are enough to make you believe who the messenger was.

  And it's been three days since I've been sleepless because of that dream.

  Crickets and wind noises are the only company I have at the moment. It has been a week since the nightmare started. A maze made out of the mirror, with my shadow rotting away every second I looked at them. My flesh turned brown, and black only to finally crumble away due to how fragile it was. Every time it happens it is always the same heavy feelings and excruciating pain on my chest. Sharp yet slowly piercing through my heart. Finding the exit only to see myself with a gun in my right hand and a sabre on the other hand, then a mountain of corpses would rise from below my feet. At the end of the dream, I would feel a bullet piercing through my brain, brain matter scattered everywhere and my lifeless body dropped dead to the ground.

  Then I would be awake with signs of necrosis on my left hand.

  The dream made me restless all day and night. If it's a message, why does it have to be so terrifying like this? What kind of message is God trying to tell me? I don't get it, none of my elders know anything of it as well. Would I make a huge mistake that would make me some kind of controlled by another being? Would I get so sick that I die young? But seeing yourself dying in a dream means that you're gonna live a longer life. Is it a warning, or a threat? If God and heaven do exist why am I so scared to die?

  The wooden windows in my room slammed when a harsh wind was blowing. My eyes are heavy yet I do not find any inch of courage to close them shut. My body is exhausted yet I prefer to be free from the price of pain I must pay when having that dream. Should I find help or should I keep it for myself? Father would think I'm unwell, crazy even. When I told him that I have that kind of ability he just didn't believe me, how is he going to believe that I've been experiencing something of a 'Monster under the bed' phenomenon? Somehow I am still breathing despite the horror. The howling wind goes back and forth, but I couldn't care less about it. I should discuss this with the right colleague. The Prince knows a lot but a meeting with a royal blood is truly a rare occurrence. Maybe I can find someone after a sermon on Friday praying. Is it really about sin and me not praying enough? No, no, no, I've been doing 5 prayers as my daily routine, It should be something else. Maybe, and maybe, it's no use thinking when you're extremely behind your sleep schedule. Just another day with the same metaphysical problem.

  The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  As the wind blows even harshly, my eyes grow tired and tired as if they're losing their will to live. Maybe it's completely alright to lose a battle every now and then, but this one I think... the most unpleasant one. As I close my eyes, surrendering to my nightly need, I agree to the terms of what is going to happen any moment soon. That pain, that horror, the sweaty feeling when your heat beats way a bit too fast. Ah.. the feeling I long for the most. Imagine being able to ignore all the signs that I've been experiencing. Someday and somehow I would understand these messages.

  Maybe someday...

  The war would stop, and the world would heal...

  Somewhat finally be free from the Dutch.

  ———

  "Lingga! Congratulations on the scholarship. Jesus Christ, are you finally going to Den Haag?"

  "I'm not the type to meddle with your kind. So maybe no,"

  It was a very sunny day, lunchtime. The news of insurance that I don't have to take any entrance examination for a spot in a local university has just arrived. I don't have to study for exams anymore. My grades are not good either and I am not sure how did I end up being eligible for a scholarship. Just a huge kind of luck, right? No, my father is quite a person with excellent connections with universities in the Netherlands. For me, school is just a side job to begin with, but I still try to keep up with it. My fate and destiny were sealed a long time ago. This is just formalities, a cover-up, like how humans always wear different masks to different people. Yet somehow my father never respects my decision about it. Is it about family legacy or just his mortal ambition? Rich people things I guess. Even though I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I still get bullied by some of the Dutch kids at school because I work by destroying their parents' property. Bram is an exception because his father is literally Max Havelaar's writer, Douwes Dekker. I appreciate his kindness, but sadly I'm not his only friend. Not me sounding like a homosexual, but I think his life is more carefree than the others, well yeah he drinks a lot for his age anyway.

  "So, you don't have to care about final exams?" Bram asked me. A blonde Dutch male with some nice clothing on him.

  "Still nice if you have a good track record, no?" I answered.

  Bram nods while he sips his drink. "Has the news reached the council?"

  "Don't care much. They punish me for coming late as if I'm the greatest villain of all. Yet when I achieve something, it's always a different story"

  "Old people think that our change in character is 100% their work"

  "Well, they do give some pressure. All it takes to fire a gun is just some pressure on the trigger"

  "Why don't we celebrate? I know some Angkringan with good cats," Bram punched my shoulder in a friendly manner.

  "Nah, busy tonight," I said while I packed up my stuff to skip school.

  "Saving the world again?"

  "The Royal decree of Yogyakarta Sultanate is not something to be ignored," I grab my bicycle saddle pack and walk away from the classroom.

  I saw a couple of Dutch younglings a hundred meters away from the weeping fig where I parked my bike. Not to mention another figure under the tree itself. Female, weeping, long hair with a gown covered in dirt. I know the lady, no reason to be scared of her. I put my satchel on the passenger seat. Sometimes I just ignore her, but the fact that she saved my life when I was a baby makes me think that.. she's an annoying babysitter. As she catches a glimpse of me, the wind blows. Leaves were flying as she seemingly approached me without touching the ground.

  "Father awaits.." she said as I hop on.

  "Father knows no boundaries"

  "Son of Soedirohoesodo, I am nothing but a humble servant to the family"

  "You're dead, Sas. You have a contract I get it, but you have no right to meddle in my family business," I began to ride my bike.

  "Father said that you're still going to STOVIA"

  "I am bounded with the Keraton. Father knows well"

  Sasmita sighed, probably it was too much for a Kunthi to feel an emotion other than what they usually do. The heat surely drains her energy to communicate with me. She began to sit on the rear saddle. I felt a slight tweak in the rear wheel, but nothing I couldn't balance. Just when I passed another weeping fig, she waved to the highest branch. Probably a friend of hers. As I pedal my way to my home, I remember when Sas was alive. We would go to the park together before dusk and buy sekoteng. But after the equilibrium swayed, it's just... don't feel the same anymore.

  "Sas..."

  "Yes, Lang?"

  "I'll set you free one day.."

  "The Equilibrium needs you, the Dutch are using the sway to conquer the land through the unbalanced metaphysics"

  "I know, and when everything is balanced... you can finally rest..."

  "Thank you, Langga.."

  Our land is under the control of a vicious cancer, the Netherlands colonization. Well, call them 'Belanda', or 'Kumpeni' because not all Dutch are bad, but all Kumpeni are corrupt slave owners. The Dutch-Indie Trading Company itself bankrupt a long time ago and was replaced by a representative of the Orange-Nassau Crown. The governor surely has hands-on most parts of Indonesia, yet they never had the chance to control remote areas fully. The Dutch believed that some ancient magic are being involved, which means involvement in two realms. Ten years ago, the latest Dutch-Indie Governor decided to fight magic with magic, our metaphysics is also invaded as a consequence. War between realms cannot be avoided and if both are to fall into the invader's hand, not even the sages know what would happen to this land. The way of Dutch spirit realm invasion is to plant krakens in an area they've just conquered. people died from curses of entering their own homes. Some people with knowledge (witches, wizards, & royal sages) have been trying to remove these pests but always ended up being killed in the process.

  Under the 9th King of Yogyakarta Sultanate, a secret elite force is tasked with taking down black magic and purging the user, leading them to salvation. A job more dangerous than war itself. Most soldiers don't fear death, but I do fear that my actions are beyond salvation. Because to kill magic, you have to learn magic, and some of our beliefs state that magic is heavily prohibited because it is the power of the devil. Nobody knows if the cause justifies the magic that we learnt. Prince Pujokusumo said If God does not acknowledge your deed because of 'this', other beings will.