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Chapter 36: No more buying random pebbles or trinkets without setting up a trust fund

  As the orange hue of the sunset bled into the horizon, Lena pushed the cart back to the market. She had already been compining to herself about how sore her arms felt, and of course Blorbo was the one who had to hear all of it.

  She reached the market to see that most shopmongers had left, and Rob had already been waiting. His arms were crossed and he tapped his foot with a slightly irritated look on his face. His eyes narrowed as he spotted her.

  “You went off without saying a word,” Rob grumbled. “Do you know how long I’ve been standing here wondering where the hell you disappeared to?”

  Lena fshed him a charming smile as stopped the cart, walked up to him, and put her hands on her hips, leaning in slightly. “Oh, Robert, you don’t even know. I’ve learned so much today. I’m going to be way better at managing our finances from now on. No more buying random pebbles or trinkets without setting up a trust fund. I swear, from now on, it’s all about smart investments. The right investments.”

  “Did you run off alone with a stranger?”

  “Alone?” She gasped the same dramatic way the robed mage gasped. “I will never do such a careless thing!” She pointed at the table. “Blorbo was with me!”

  “Running off along with a strange man is not safe, Lena. There are thieves and shady people around town.”

  “It’s fine! I’ve been putting on weight from eating too much candy. Nobody can drag me anywhere! I’m overweight!” She asserted as a gust of wind lifted her an inch off the ground.

  “W-what? Are you even listening to yourself?” He turned around, head craned to the sky, huffed, then turned back to Lena. “Why is everyone else in this household like this...”

  You’re asking the right question now, brother...

  “Mister Robed Mage taught me real magic. I was able to summon some candies!” Oh you conveniently left out the part where you summoned a DRAGON QUEEN. For what reason? “Don’t you worry, dear. Mister Mage looks very legit and trustworthy. Nobody ever looks at him and thinks he’s weird.” As Lena said that, the Robed Mage was sneaking behind the empty stalls, his hood low and his hands oddly hidden in his long sleeves. He cast furtive gnces around, then quickly pulled out a set of four gloves, one by one, and began to wear them.

  “Point is, you don’t follow people you don’t know well just about anywhere. The st time you did so the bandits almost sold you to the sunflower farms!” He buried his hands deep inside his hair. “At least tell me so I can go with you.”

  “Aww, sweetheart, you’ve become so mature you start to sound like Dad!” She then lifted her wrist, her fingers brushing the delicate bracelet that wrapped around it. “Why do you have to worry? Look! I still have this, remember?”

  Blorbo’s vision moved from the woman’s gaze to the modest trinket that hung from the bracelet. It was a simple piece, so small and unassuming that he’d never noticed it until now. But now that he’d taken a good look, there was something about it that caught his attention. The charm itself was a small, intricately crafted emblem, not unlike a pendant, with a centerpiece shaped like a nce raised to something resembling a heavenly gates in the background. The craftsmanship was so fine, but understated.

  “The trinket of the Padin,” she continued with a low, almost reverent tone. “Linked by oath with you. As long as I have this, you’ll know exactly where I am if you need to.”

  Oh, yeah. He’d heard it mentioned st time when Rob was having an argument with Anders. What were Padinborns again?

  Rob furrowed his brow. He uncrossed his arms and sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s not that simple, Lena, you know it.” He looked away. “I’m not like them. I don’t have the speed nor the teleporting ability of a Padin. I might not be able to come if you’re too far away.”

  “You weren’t terribly worried the st time you whooped those bandits’ butts.” Lena chuckled.

  Is anyone going to expin ANYTHING? Hello? At least give me some context.

  Oh, how Blorbo wished he was the main character in a normal isekai, where he would have been spoon-fed important information at his convenience. But of course, his System was something else.

  All of a sudden, he felt a tap on his surface.

  [Stealth detection failed. PER too low]

  The Robed Mage had slipped in quietly, his heavy cloak swishing silently against the cobblestones. He leaned in as he whispered, “What a coincidence, don’t you think? A mageborn and a padinborn in ze same household, hiding away from ze world in zis peaceful town. But soon, soon, zhere won’t be any pce to hide.”

  Huh? Is he talking to me?

  Blorbo looked around. There were no-one else there but Rob and Lena, and both of them seemed to be oblivious to the fact the four-gloved mage was already here.

  “Ze orc war is just the beginning.” His whisper was even lower now. “Soon, both orckind and humankind will come to face a catastrophe of ze highest order. Heed my word,” he tapped his gloved finger on Blorbo’s surface, and he could feel the mage’s grin growing wider. “Heed my word.”

  This guy gives me the creeps. Does he actually know—

  Then he leaned in further, so close Blorbo could feel his breath on his surface. “I know you can hear me, table. I am ze one who stole zee old man’s knives. Tell them if you can.”

  How? How do you know?!

  Then the mage pushed his index finger onto Blorbo’s surface. “Here’s a parting gift, ah. Use it wisely, and you will achieve greatness.”

  [You have received a Basic-level spell]

  Wow! I don’t care if that guy is the most vilinest vilin in the world! A freebie is a freebie! Let me unwrap this gift of his, and see how close to greatness I am!

  [Sawdust Puff—Level 1 Basic Spell]

  Cost: 1 MPCooldown: None

  Combo: If you release 4 puffs in a row, your 5th puff costs 0 MP.

  [You can release a negligible amount of sawdust from any corner of your surface]

  Of course. It’s absolute garbage. Why am I not surprised.

  This spell is SO rubbish the only way you can make it banced is by making it GIVE you MP whenever you cast it!

  A beted notification showed up.

  [Warning: Overuse of Sawdust Puff may cause minor respiratory irritation to weak-willed opponents.]

  Ah, just what I needed! Thank you, System! Now I can defeat opponents with severe asthma!

  Of course, the gloved mage had predictably vanished as if dissolved into air, the same way he’d shown up. A single pying card fell leisurely to the ground. It had an illustration of a man in a robe, holding four gloves.

  Rob and Lena were still talking.

  NameBlorboRaceAnimated Furniture (Table)CssNoneLevel3EXP24/100HP35/35MP3/3CP21STR12END18AGI23PER18SkillsAppraisal (Level 1)

  Adjustable Angle (2 Degrees)

  Opportunity Sense (Level 1)

  Surface Agitation (Level 1)

  Synchronized Sitting (Level 1)

  Forked Tongue (Level 1)

  Surface Wobble (Level 1)

  Massive Leap Under Duress (Conditional)

  Retribution Counter (Level 1)

  SpellsSawdust Puff (Level 1)AuraUseless Gloved Fool (Permanent)

  InventoryA Pair of Wooden-Colored Socks

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