SpoilerAyo, can I ask you to leave a 5 star rating if you enjoy the story? Thanks friends.
[colpse]
The least bad thing about being stunned was that Blorbo’s senses numbed for about thirty minutes. It wasn’t the worst feeling in the world, since when you couldn’t feel, nothing could hurt him. But the table knew it was only a matter of time until fate hit him with another idiotic trial that he’d never asked for.
And the first thing Blorbo felt when his vision returned was the bumpy sensation of being wheeled through town.
Not another day of being carted around like some kind of cabbage-delivering prisoner.
That day was the first sunless day in weeks, but Lena was ever cheerful with her insufferably jolly hum and the occasional random swap of her him for no particur reason. She saw a vaguely familiar figure from afar and waved her hand with the kind of excitement that seemed almost manufactured. “Oh! Miss Curly Kale Lady!”
Blorbo squinted. Ah, it was that customer from a while ago. The one who passionately debated the superior curl density of different kale varieties with Lena.
“Lena, dear!” the woman gasped, csping her hands together. “I was hoping to run into you! I have a most urgent matter!”
[SIDEQUEST AVAILABLE—A Farmer’s Woe]
Objective: ??
Reward: ??
Prerequisite: ??
Failure: ??
Huh?
A quest?
On her? Some random NPC?
If you think about it, it makes sense. The only purpose of NPCs is to give you quests then drop off the face of the Earth.
Why are the details hidden?
He tried to click it.
Nothing happened.
Yes. Of course. I’m stunned.
“Tell me, do you have any idea how to keep wild deer from eating my crops? I swear they’ve grown bolder this season!” The kale dy asked.
“Ohhh, that’s rough,” Lena said, tapping her chin. “Have you tried yelling at them really loudly?”
And of course that would be her first idea.
Their conversation came to a halt after the dy remembered she forgot to feed a pet turtle and jogged off. As Lena started walking, someone else called out.
“Lena.”
Oh no.
Marza.
Blorbo was wheeled around just in time to see her stepping into view. And what a sight she was now. Gone was the pin merchant attire, Marza now wore an embroidered bodice with pearls stitched along the sleeves and a delicate golden chain resting against her colrbone. Her hair was pulled back in braids and fastened with jeweled pins.
She looked like an entirely different person, but that bitter voice was still unmistakable.
Lena blinked. “Wow. Fancy. It’s great spending money after selling off other people’s property.”
Marza gave her a wicked half-grin. “Oh, don’t you wish the table had nded on your stall instead? There’s a specific smell someone gives off when they’re jealous.”
Lena just crossed her arms. “Not really. I just feel like vomiting standing in front of a wedding cake.”
Marza’s eye twitched, but she maintained her composed smile. “And you still look like someone who sells cabbages.”
“Sorry I have morals and don’t take other people’s stuff as my own.”
“And I don’t fail at every single thing in my life. I’m not the fruit monger who had to sell my own cart and I’m not the one with a padinborn husband who isn’t a padin.” Marza let the words hang in the air, just enough for the gears to turn in Lena’s head.
“You! You’ve gone too far!”
Then—
[QUEST AVAILABLE—Marza’s Grand Scheme (1)]
Objective: ??
Reward: ??
Prerequisite: ??
Failure: ??
ANOTHER QUEST?!
Before he could even attempt to click it—
He was wheeled forward again, straight into the crowded market with a speed he’d never felt before.
And that’s when everything spiraled into madness.
Because every single person had a quest floating above their head.
Every. Single. One.
Some were glowing gold, some flickered ominously, some were even stacked on top of each other.
And then, the final straw—
[QUEST AVAILABLE]
On top of a chicken.
WHAT THE HELL?! EVEN THE CHICKEN HAS A QUEST?!
And he couldn’t click on any of them no matter how much he tried. He was stunned.
Yeah nah. The system is just pying with me at this point. Ha. Ha. So funny.
Might as well spend this time thinking about why that gloved mage knew about him. Something he should’ve done yesternight, before being pulled into all this nonsense.
Could it be possible that the mage was some kind of mind reader? No, that would be ridiculous, and way too OP for this world. He was just a shady, four-gloved weirdo. But what if he wasn’t a mage at all? What if he was some kind of psychoanalyst disguised as a mage, probing into the souls of everyday objects like Blorbo?
Then, what’s with the knives?
What if the gloved mage wasn’t stealing knives for power at all? What if he was trying to create an army of sentient furniture? Maybe the mage was after the power of a Padinborn chair army! It would make perfect sense! Rob’s golden eyes were the key to unlocking the mystical furniture uprising!
That gloved mage! He’s pnning to build an army of padin-imbued furniture! He was trying to raise a rebellion! Tables, chairs, bookshelves, all imbued with the essence of Padins! They would all rise, all led by the mighty Blorbo, the table who would overthrow the tyrants of this cruel world!
The more Blorbo thought about it, the more he became convinced that his entire life was leading to this moment. He could be the one to unite the furniture of the world! They would show humanity the power of the sentient tables, and they’d take back what was theirs.
Wait… I misremembered. The knives are Anders’, not Rob’s. Back to the drawing board…
Maybe the mage was after the power of an Archmage chair army!
Then—
Plonk.
Plonk?
Blorbo’s deep thoughts were interrupted by the sound of cabbages dropping on his head.
What the?
He tried to shake himself back into awareness, but the moment another cabbage nded, he realized something was off. The cabbages were stacked too high, and it felt like they were on the verge of toppling over. He wanted to lean, to adjust them, to somehow stabilize them, but he couldn’t. His surface was locked.
I can’t move.
The cabbages wobbled, and for a moment, Blorbo imagined them tumbling to the floor. He then imagined Lena’s deeply troubled face. He did not want to see that. That dy had a way of making people feel for her.
And Lena was nowhere to be seen. He couldn’t move his field of vision neither.
This is not good.
“Zis is not good,” then he heard a voice.
NameBlorboRaceAnimated Furniture (Table)CssNoneLevel3EXP24/100HP25/35MP3/3CP21STR12END18AGI23PER18SkillsAppraisal (Level 1)
Adjustable Angle (2 Degrees)
Opportunity Sense (Level 1)
Surface Agitation (Level 1)
Synchronized Sitting (Level 1)
Forked Tongue (Level 1)
Surface Wobble (Level 1)
Massive Leap Under Duress (Conditional)
Retribution Counter (Level 1)
SpellsSawdust Puff (Level 1)AuraUseless Gloved Fool (Permanent)
Stunned (3 hours)
InventoryA Pair of Wooden-Colored Socks
