At first Tapper thought it was a giant rubber duck, with the same iconic yellow color and round shape, but then it started to unfurl. So then it must be a living creature, though no predictive model of Tapper's could explain why anything would evolve such a niche form of camouflage.

  It had a bulbous torso and a head just as large, contrasted with gangly arms and legs that unfolded to a full height of under one meter. The bright yellow skin stretched in unnatural directions, pulling taut over joints and bones that didn't follow a logical skeleton. Its back was turned, chittering and cooing with a pleasantly curious tone before it crunched into and started chewing something metal.

  The creature ate its snack with gusto and exaggerated gulping noises, and when it finished its body shuddered and hunched over. Yellow skin on its back stretched and tore as something pushed its way out from within the body, a shiny chrome cone with a flared opening. The creature groaned, some of the sound escaping out of the horn as a warbling bass, and it finally turned around to regard its surroundings.

  The creature's eyes were a starry night, pitch black and speckled with points of light that would look beautiful — if they didn't give the impression of an endless cosmos staring right back. Two slits below them may have been nostrils, but they blended in with dozens of tears throughout its body. Bits of machinery jutted out of the slits, but none were as large as the new horn.

  The mouth was unmistakable and stretched halfway across its bulbous head, filled with mismatched teeth just as overly large as its eyes. The gremlin cocked its head to one side — and without much neck, its torso followed — and regarded Tapper with those curious cooing noises.

  "Greetings! Are you sapient?" Tapper asked, holding one hand up in a friendly and nonthreatening manner.

  The mercenary huffed a sigh from out of view. "You stupid fucking robot," he muttered, but Tapper did not turn to respond. He was too distracted by the gremlin licking its lips with a tongue that looked like it was made from raw ground hamburger meat. It was revolting!

  The creature's body strained and the new horn on its back started to blow a sputtering, quiet raspberry sound. Tapper cocked his head in the other direction, but the mercenary slammed its visor shut. His voice barely penetrated the armor and shouted, "It's going to blow!"

  Tapper shut down his auditory receptors in time, and he still felt the sound wave rattle his joints.

  Phanya shuddered again, knowing full well that it did nothing to stave off this type of cold. Whatever freaky effect the fog had on her felt so much stronger now that she was alone, which was probably why Phanya also felt like she had been alone for hours now. Hopefully. Or Tapper was dead now and she was just waiting around to get taken by phase shift ghosts, or demons, or worse.

  Horns from the depths of hell interrupted Phanya's gloomy downward spiral, blowing a note from the pillbug so loud that the ground shook. Phanya ducked low and hugged both arms against her head, feeling as if her brain would rattle right out of her skull, and the deafened debuff hit Phanya for the second time today. Once it passed Phanya considered waiting for Tapper to finish up, hoping that he was immune to such effects from the system so she wouldn't need to go any closer to whatever made that noise. Sure enough, a moment after the horn stopped blowing the robot came tumbling out into the open.

  Except, he was clearly panicking for his robotic life.

  "PHANYA!" Tapper wailed, scrambling in her direction. "IT'S TRYING TO EAT ME!" He thought he couldn't hear anything over his own voice, until he saw Phanya's lips moving without sound and hurried to reactivate his microphone.

  "— the merc? What'd he do??"

  "No, it's gremlins!" Then a spotted yellow beach ball with arms, legs, and teeth bounced out of the pillbug and Tapper screamed.

  Phanya recoiled from the little monster as it hopped and skipped towards them, outreached claws grasping the air and making grumbling noises that sounded distressingly close to "Yum yum yum!"

  Tapper still wasn't so lost in panic that he would allow for the gremlin to harm Phanya and he stepped between them, even if the fear had robbed most of his words. "No tongue touch! No! Bad meat! SPRAY!" The energy swelled in his chest but there was something wrong, where instead of warmth it filled Tapper with pins and needles.

  Jagged mana scratched at his spirit, the vessel in which spells formed now a torn muscle that hadn't been given time to heal. According to the manaburn debuff Tapper could still cast spells at the cost of additional mana, but he was so unprepared for the feeling of "additional difficulty" that he doubled over and screamed in pain. Phanya bent down to check on him, and neither one noticed the gremlin picking up speed.

  CRUNCH

  The two looked up and watched the monster slurp up Tapper's nozzle spindle like a long metal noodle. Then it had the audacity to rub its belly and burp in their faces.

  This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

  [Injury: Shattered limb

  Distracting pain]

  [Wounds: ???]

  Then the pain set in, and Tapper screamed with renewed vigor. Phanya hopped out of the way with ease, but Tapper collapsed and left himself writhing on the ground. How was she going to keep both of them away from those teeth?

  The outline of a tactic vanished when Phanya noticed the gremlin struggling to squeeze a raspberry out of the chrome horn on its back, the raspy pbbt noises growing stronger by the second. Phanya connected the dots and lept right back at the monster, remembering at the last instant that she wasn't wearing her armored gloves. She came up short, hopped the last stretch, and brought a padded elbow down on it instead.

  The gremlin was too focused on blowing another deafening note to dodge and Phanya's elbow drop hit it dead center, pushing the flared horn most of the way back into its body. The gremlin collapsed under the impact and fell to its knees in a coughing fit of weak honk noises. The mental image of a gagged clown made Phanya snort with laughter, and the gremlin paid back for her distraction by raking its claws across her shin. Not a debilitating blow, but one that forced Phanya to give the monster some breathing room as they both recovered. It snarled at her but didn't leap to attack, instead turning to the pile of panicking bolts still on the ground.

  Tapper managed to work through the pain and detach his back port, sighing with relief as the destroyed connections silenced their assault. Just in time to watch a clawed, four-fingered hand grasp around his offset eye and yank his head upwards. He felt the other hand provide support on the back of his head and his one clear eye watched in horror as mottled yellow plastic split in a toothy, meaty maw. Tapper didn't scream, he squealed, and his hands snapped up to hold the mouth at bay.

  He couldn't see anything besides the mouth. Nothing existed for Tapper right now outside of the fleshy void; hot steam wafted over his face that smelled of fresh death and the horrible mincemeat tongue reached out for him. Suddenly Tapper was horizontal, lifted at the legs by unseen forces and he heard Phanya scream with a mix of pain and defiance. Their combined forces were just barely enough to keep the gremlin at bay, as the monster showed a strength at odds with its diminutive size, and Tapper realized that Phanya couldn't do anything else without letting go.

  What were his options? The gremlin was touching him so Tapper could cast a spell, if he could push through the manaburn in time. His drill hand might be effective, but not while it held the jaws open. A mundane damage report scrolled through his mind; his neck joint was starting to crack and Tapper did not want to find out what the system would do if that limb was destroyed. With no other options coming to his rescue, Tapper grit his metaphorical teeth and dragged the ragged energy into place for an illogical plan. Then he closed his metaphorical eyes and gave his shoulders a twist.

  A mundane warning flashed across Tapper's mind that he was running on emergency power, but he didn't receive a system message regarding a broken limb. His plan worked! Then he felt an impact followed by rapid spinning and smaller impacts, and when he finally stopped Tapper reactivated his eyes to assess the situation. The gremlin was on its back and struggling to stand, Tapper and Phanya had collapsed into a heap, and Tapper's head had bounced several feet away. Now he just needed to reattach his own head and they could turn the fight on the gremlin!

  Except, he couldn't control his body. Tapper could still feel a vague connection, but everything below the neck was just a faint memory of sensation. With a wince Tapper realized that his wireless transmitters and receivers were all located within his head.Then the gremlin got to its feet, and Tapper started to panic.

  "Miss Phanya, get up! Please hurry!" She answered with a groan and started to roll out from under the prone metal body, but the gremlin looked right at Tapper's head and licked its lips again. "Ahhh it's gonna eat me! Phanya heeeelp!" A stumpy yellow foot blocked his view of Phanya and the gremlin bent down to grab Tapper's head. His desperate gamble to get away only made it easier for the monster to consume him, after all.

  A shrill whistle from nowhere grew from a whine to a screech and suddenly Tapper was on the move, snatched and carried by something out of his view. But he felt several wet tendrils wrapped around his neck stump as he bobbed along close to the ground.

  "Kakisi, is that you?"

  "Ka! Siii!"

  "Oh I've never been so happy to feel tentacles!" The little creature was quick for its size, and a total lack of skeletal structure, but he could only barely keep ahead of the gremlin as it chased them in circles around the clearing. It kept making hungry grunting noises and Tapper's head was pointed backwards so he received a constant, unwilling show of its grasping claws centimeters away from his face.

  But seeing the monster's look of surprise a split second before Phanya's leg swept from overhead and caught the gremlin in the gut made the terror worthwhile. The gremlin flew backwards and hit the pillbug with enough force to rock the vehicle, but it got up and laughed in defiance.

  "Damnit, what is this thing made of??" Phanya asked, just to vent her frustration.

  "It is made of rubber duck!" Tapper answered anyway.

  "Kakisi!"

  "Phanya, hold it still!" a new voice shouted. Ricky joined the fray, standing on top of a nearby garbage mound with his air rifle held up. "I only have one shot here!" The gremlin hissed at Ricky and made to attack him, but tripped over Tapper's prone body. Because Tapper's hands were holding onto its ankles.

  "Hey, my body's working! Great! Hold it there!" Tapper shouted, suddenly feeling like he could do nothing more than lead the cheer.

  Phanya flipped around the gremlin and slipped her arms under to hold the gremlin by the elbows, hedging her bets that the unnaturally tough monster would protect her over Ricky's odds of hitting the thing dead on. Ricky, meanwhile, seemed to be taking his time getting ready, the rifle wasn't even primed yet and he kept working the hand crank to build air pressure. "Ricky damnit, hurry up! This thing's strong, I can't hold it forever!"

  "Almost there!" Ricky shouted back, clearly struggling through the final cranks despite his powered exoskeleton. "Need extra power to... work some magic! Take this!" Ricky aimed his rifle, tongue out for accuracy, and pulled the trigger.

  The weapon instantly exploded in his hands.