Chapter 16: The Art of Sneaking (Which They Immediately Fail At)
Grim and Lazaro walked briskly away from Don’s table.
As soon as they turned a corner, where no rich lunatic could spot them, Grim exhaled deeply.
Grim (low, dangerous voice): "Diarrhea?"
Lazaro (grinning): "It worked, didn’t it?"
Ash (cackling over comms): "Oh. My. God. Did you really just say diarrhea? At a crime lord’s table?!"
Grim groaned. "Not you too."
Ash (mockingly): "Oh, Don, my bowels are about to explode, please release me from this torment—"
Lazaro joined, whispering like a dying man, "Don... please... I can't hold it in much longer... it's... it's coming."
Ash (gasping between laughs): "Y-you just shamed your entire bloodline!"
Grim (deadpan): "I am going to personally make sure you both suffer."
Ash (still giggling): "Yeah, yeah, death threats, whatever. You guys finally free?"
Grim straightened up, ignoring the humiliation. "Yeah. We’re heading to the ducts now."
Ash (teasing): "Try not to make a scene."
Grim and Lazaro exchanged glances.
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Grim (serious): "We never make a scene."
Ash: "Bro."
Lazaro (shrugging): "Yeah, we do."
And just as they took a step forward—
"HEY! YOU TWO!"
Grim and Lazaro froze.
A security guard stood a few feet away, staring at them.
Ash (dry): "That was fast."
Grim (muttering): "Shut up."
The guard squinted at them, adjusting his earpiece.
"Don's personal guests. You’re supposed to be at the table."
Grim’s jaw clenched.
Lazaro, however, was already smiling, "Ahh, well, you see, my dear sir, we were just going to the restroom."
"Yeah?" The guard’s eyes narrowed.
"Then why are you heading the opposite direction?"
Lazaro blinked.
Then turned to Grim.
Then back to the guard.
"...Different plumbing system?"
The guard did not look amused.
Grim was already planning their next move.
But before he could, Lazaro raised a finger towards Grim.
"Wait, wait, I got this," he said, clearing his throat.
"Do you know who we are?"
The guard stared.
Lazaro’s grin widened. "Exactly. You don’t. Because we’re ghosts."
Silence.
Grim (whispering): "I will literally strangle you."
The guard’s hand was already reaching for his radio.
Ash sighed. "Do I have to save your asses?"
Grim (deadpan): "Please."
A second later, a loud crash echoed from across the hall.
The guard’s radio buzzed and he jumped, turning his head as the lights flickered.
Then—
Screams.
Ash’s voice returned, smug. "You’re welcome. Now go."
Grim didn’t need another cue.
He grabbed Lazaro’s collar and dragged him down the hall.
Lazaro, still not taking anything seriously: "I think the ghost thing could’ve worked."
Grim (gritting his teeth): "I am going to duct tape your mouth shut."
Lazaro: "Well, jokes on you, ‘cause I like the sound of my own muffled voice—"
They finally reached the maintenance corridors, slipping in before another guard would notice.
Ash, still in their ears, let out a mock cheer. "Congrats, boys. You successfully avoided getting murdered by one (1) low-level guard."
Grim: "I hate you."
Ash: "No, you don’t."
They kept moving.
The ducts were just ahead.
And that’s when everything went wrong.