?Why aren't my feet moving then? Why am I not looking forward to this moment after all I had to endure to get here? What is it this time?“

  My feet were refusing to move even an inch at this point and my throat seemed to close up as if a stone was stuck in there, ready to choke me the next second.

  ?No, no, this just can't be. I can't freak out, not when I've fought this hard just for this moment. Just a few more steps and I would meet the prince who is going to be my fiancée from now on. This is exactly how I knew it would happen, why am I hesitant about it now?“

  Even within my thoughts I could hear my voice tremble.

  I looked down to the ground. The perfect aligned stones of a garden path that was meant to welcome outsiders into the royal family. Everything around me looked picture perfect - even I, in my long and extravagant dress that I wore, looked like I belonged right in this scenery. ?How could I not after my maids fussing over my appearance the whole morning?“

  My shaky hand finally made it up towards the other elbow which I held on to. I can't fathom what expression I might have made at this point, nor could anyone else in this world where they only knew their angelic Marilys. ?How could she ever make an expression like that?“

  ?Right, she was perfect and made for exactly this life. A life where she would be engaged to his prince Cassien, enjoy tea parties every day, become the empress eventually and soon enough give birth to the heir. It was her destiny all along.“

  Her destiny.

  Just in the next moment I felt the harsh wind of autumn brushing through my hair as well as leaves blowing away right next to me, flying through the air like little dancers leaving the stage a final time.

  ?Her Destiny?“

  ?Does that mean it has to be my destiny as well? Do I really need to live through all that until I am finally done with this world?“

  Tears started slowly filling my eyes but I didn't notice at all, how could I with all these thoughts keeping me occupied? Slowly my face blushed in a rosy tone until finally, a tear rolled down my icey cheek. It felt warm.

  ?However i wrap my head around it, this can't be it, I don't want that life, no matter what.“

  ?It would be the same plain life that I finally escaped from when coming here.“

  ?Even back then I never had an interesting life. I grew up with my two sisters and my parents. They were never overly affectionate with me nor were they neglecting me. We were not poor but we also weren't rich. In school I was never particularly bad nor was I ambitious enough to be the best. My moderate efforts got me an acceptable diploma which I used to attend university afterwards. It wasn't an interesting degree, just something a few hundred people at my university got into every year.“

  ?Even there my performance was just fine. I used my time studying and hanging out with some friends I had made along the way. I wasn't popular but I still had enough friends to be content with it.“

  The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

  ?In the end I got a decent job at a big firm and worked there until I woke up to this novel. It wasn't even an interesting position, it just happened to be paid good enough for me to apply. After all I never had any big dreams or aspirations“

  ?Maybe I was just too scared to try and find a better way. I accepted my mediocre life, it gave me safety and was right in my comfort zone. Neither a bad nor a good ending, just an ordinary one, that's what I chose back then. That were the last memories I made in my original world.

  I felt like my breath stopped there for a second. Just the thought of that life made me purse my lip. I really didn't want to experience this again.

  ?After all I was just an ordinary human who had the luck to get a second chance, wasn't I? A fool who never tried anything out of fear to achieve a worse ending than what it had been.“

  ?Never again. I will not just accept my fate again. Not if its not what I truly desire.“

  After calming myself for a moment I wiped the salty tear off the side of my face and turned around. I didn't know where I was going but it also didn't matter to me at that time, after all everywhere was fine as long as it wasnt something the novel had already predicted.

  Surprisingly, my mood was better at this time than I would’ve imagined. I had made up my mind to continue my own story from now on instead of just acting as Marilys. It was kind of relieving. I might have not been able to get rid of her entirety, but it felt like the world got a bit lighter.

  After walking for some time I also seemed to be able to think clear again and stopped for a moment to reflect on my next steps.

  ?After all I cant just go back to my room immediately. It would definitely be suspicious if I came back after only an hour or so - also I cant be bothered with dealing with anyone at the palace for now.“

  A sigh slipped out my mouth and I strolled forward.

  ?There should be a lake somewhere on the premises of the palace, I would at least be alone there since few people care about a boat ride once it gets colder.“

  In comparison to where Marilys was born it was significantly cooler during the colder months. The trees turned orange way earlier and started already losing their life even though it was only the beginning of September at this point. Not very surprisingly due to that she tends to be more prone to fall ill during this time which made it also less likely people would suspect her to go there this time around.

  ?If I were her I would have probably never visited the lake at such a time but I’m done acting purely like she would. In the end nobody would suspect me a transmigrator just because of this, right?“

  When I finally reached it I was delighted to see that I was completely alone. It was very clear though that even when nobody was visiting this place the lake was kept completely perfect. The trees at its side were trimmed to perfection and the water was as clear as crystals. I'm sure it would look great at night.

  ?How much money they have to invest in keeping this place clean whilst people in the capital are starving, just hypocritical. The world really is just as unfair as it was at home. On the surface it shimmers like gold but at the core it is just as rotten as every other place in this universe. It's all pretty to look at, as long as you don't look too closely.“

  I bent down at the edge of the water looking at my reflection on the surface. I truly looked like the angel that was described in the novel. There was no flaw to be seen on my skin. Rosy cheeks, big light blue eyes and golden hair, sure she looks great but she and her life are just bland - polished like a statue made out of marble to get rid of every bit of depth she could've had. It's almost disgusting. It's like looking at a character from a video game.“

  < Oh what is the Lady of Virelle doing at a deserted place like this all alone? Aren't you supposed to attend one of your tea and pretend parties, getting praised for breathing?>

  Before I could finish my thoughts a man spoke up from behind me. It was a cold voice speaking in a mocking tone towards me. Who else could it have been than the only person in the whole kingdom who wasn't fond of Marilys?

  ?Why out of all the people! Maybe I could try getting myself together before I turn? No that would never work he was suspicious from the moment I got here and I can't just play cute like Marilys could. I should just try bailing and blame it on shyness later —?

  I readied myself to turn around as fast as I could, making sure he wouldn't see my red eyes before I would try getting away as fast as possible.

  ?This is my only attempt to take control of this situation now, he'll never let me off easily if I show him my vulnerability now.“

  When I was ready to turn my feet I suddenly felt one of my shoes slip away under me whilst I lost balance. Before I could even try to balance myself again the weight of my dress had already done the rest. I pursed my lips in anger.

  ?These stupid dresses!“

  I could slowly see the sky opening up in front of my eyes and my dress flying onto me. The next second I felt the cold of the water touching my skin. It felt like I fell into the whole sea with my clothes weighing me down even more. Bubbles floating up all around me as if they tried to flee from the icey cold. It felt like knives were piercing through me whilst panic surged up from within my chest, my heart racing.

  ?I really — am not a perfect noble lady. But maybe — just this once — this isn't too bad.“

  Soon enough the darkness had caught up to me and I felt the world and my thoughts fade into silence.