Dear diary,

  Shinji here. But you know that already, do you? Well, me and my habits. After all these years Asuka is still teasing me about them, especially the one I do when I’m nervous. But to be honest – most of the time I do it on purpose just to see her smile and hear her beautiful laughter.

  So this is it. The last official entry we have to make. More than four years I have told you how my life changed from an absolute nightmare to a dream from which I never want to wake up. But I have to tell you again. I have to write it down to make it real, I guess.

  Let’s start with the facts: The angels stopped coming four years ago. No one knows why. Or they know and won’t tell us. Either way, I really don’t care. All they brought us were pain and suffering. They took away both our parents and so many people… I always wondered what they had been looking for. Why they had been attacking us? NERV never told us the reason. Just some sience-bullshit about some other angel, trapped inside the geo-front or inside Rei or father or whatever… And the angels wanted to merge with them? I don’t know. I don’t care anymore. I’ve made my peace with them. With the angels. With Rei and father…

  Both vanished just like the angels four years ago. You don’t have to be a scientist to put one and one together and come to the conclusion that this can’t be a coincidence.

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  There was a time I was kind of happy that my father was gone. But now… I don’t know. I don’t miss him, I just wanted to have told him how I felt… And how he can leave without letting me punch him in the face once for all he had done to us – to me… Ha, Asuka’s influence rubs off on me when I think about hitting my father.

  I’m sad though, that I’ve never had the chance to talk more to Rei. I liked her and I miss her. Not the way I like Asuka, more like a sister I’ve never had… Well, after what Misato told us about her origin and also what happened to my mother… Knowing, that my mother was always there, in EVA-01, in arms-reach, but was now gone and lost forever… Because as the angels stopped coming for us and as Rei and father vanished so did the… soul of my mother. And of Asuka’s…

  That was a very… unpleasant evening for us as far as I can remember. Thank the heavens that we were already a couple back then. I probably wouldn’t have made it through the night without her… She told me that she felt the same way.

  Speaking of Asuka: I love her, you know that. I told you many times. And I will tell her that every time I got the chance to. But seeing the pain in her eyes, when she’s looking at Mika-chan and she thinks no one is watching… I don’t know how to take that pain away. Yet. But we will find a way, I’m sure. Because we both went through hell and back again. On our way to hell we were alone but on our way back we had each other. We talk, walk and laugh together. We fight, scream and bleed together. We kiss, sleep and live together. She’s my world and I will tell her that tomorrow. I just wished my song-writing-skills were as good as my singing-skill… ??

  Thank you, diary, see you soon.

  Shinji.