Annou Good day to all of you dear readers.

  There is an active rewrite of the stoing on for a while now. Since almost half of the novel had been finished, I decided to update the current state of this book. So far, it has been doil chapter 48. This means there will be a slight ge of style in the middle portion of the book until the rest is done. Unfortunately, the rewrite is not a priority project, at least not beside writing my other book.

  With best wishes, Yokem. (Author’s note.)

  Prelude:

  A twi’lek orphan girl in a slum on Ryloth was about to give up hope; she was hungry and sick, beaten from a fight with a bunch of other orphan kids for the scraps of food they could find irash piles.

  She was sitting on the side of a dark alleyway, enduring the pain of her gnawing hunger and thirst.

  She was forced to drink water from a dirty puddle yesterday sihere was no clearer source of water to be found. Now she had a fever. She khat it was a risk, but she had no other choice...

  Now it will be over at least faster, she thought with sadness, but also relief. With her hazy mind, she finally realized that someone was standing before her, a tall man, a human man? She couldn’t make out his features. At least she will not be alone i moments. Suddenly, she felt happy and calm, like everything was going to be alright. It robably from the hunger. She felt light-headed for a while now.

  Her reasoning gone, she didn’t know if this was a wishful dream or reality anymore. Her heavy eyelids slowly closed, but she heard the words of the man calling for her, telling her about a purpose that she… only she could fulfill. It was such a fresh thought, the idea… that someone needed her.

  The girl had a funny thought at the moment. A wish of sorts… she desired to be useful to this man, even if she had to give her life for that cause… It was a lot better than dieing on the roadside. Only if this was truly true, then she finally could be useful for someone.

  With that thought on her fragile mind, the girl lost sciousness from her growing fever and various other ditions.

  Meanwhile, the stranger was looking at the small, probably five or six-year-old child. He looked at the girl, but there was no pity in his aging eyes. Only realization.

  “So be it.” — He said.

  The force made him e to this pce. It led him into this alley at the right time to save this light gray twi’lek girl. She was a bastard child of a whore, most likely dropped oreets, or orphaned in some other typically cruel way. But that did not matter for the bearded man. He wasn’t a soft man that would help just any stray child without thought. That said, he wasn’t a particurly cruel persoher. Merely realistically pragmati a world filled with death and chaos, that trait was for the better.

  What mattered to him was the fact that he could sense a spark of the forside said girl… The force surrounded her. It swirled, cirg her broken form like a twisted raging storm, drawing his attention to her until he reached her side. Then it calmed and became still as night.

  A shatter point. He reized the signs, and he felt it as well. The future has ged drastically, the moment he id eyes otle twi’lek.

  He knew now that she was the one he was searg for. Croug down, he gently picked up the girl and walked back to his ship hastily.

  “Don’t die on me now, after all that trouble I went through to find you.” — The man cursed while panting heavily. He was old, his beard was entirely white. The spring in his steps and deep wrinkles were telltale signs of a battle-hardened veteran. Or at least a hard life, with heavy physical bor.

  The man ran up the ramp of his ship, straight into its medical room. Carefully pg the trembling, feverish girl oable while two different medical droids booted up and started to s the girl’s body. Each droid had four different arms, giving the girl antibiotid bacta poultices on her forehead, with at least a few doses of immune re-invigorators and energy infusions.

  About seven years ter.

  ‘It happened on a silent night. I was sleeping in my as usual, and I had a dream. The dream didn’t feel too unusual. Well, not more than my other dreams, to be fair, in this one I was standing before my master. The kind, old master who took pity on me a few years ago, and took me under his wings.’

  ‘Without him, I would be dead by now or taken as a sve, which does not sound aer. heless, I should not wander off-topic, it is a bad habit, and master always told me, that I should be as precise and straightforward with my words, as I aspired to be with my lightsaber.’

  ‘To my shame, this was a lesson I could never really learn from him, not well anyway.’

  ‘I was in my , dreaming of a strange, dimly lit room, one I had never seen before.’

  ‘Ihe room, there was a clear pond filling up its ter. Then a voice called out to me, a voice I instantly reized. It was my master’s somewhat weak voice. I saw him standing oher side of the room, clothed in formal attire.’

  ‘He was smiling at me, yet I saw sadness in his old eyes surrounded with wrinkles, but there was also hope, much more hope than sadness, which fused yet also reassured me.’

  ‘The dream e that moment sihe door in my room opened. Followed by a smooth hiss caused by the esg air pressure, which was released through the opening meism built ihe door.’

  ‘Your average twi’lek would not even budge from that small noise, but I was taught otherwise. To sehe slightest shift in my surroundings, to react to danger, preferably in time. That was why I opened my eyes and turowards the door, instinctively grabbing the hilt of my lightsaber.’

  ‘I saw as my master stood in the doorframe, watg my hurried movements with an amused smile. His gray hair matched his gray robes well, not eveioning his almost entirely white beard. There was also something else I noticed; he was clothed in ceremonial attire, the same I saw in my dream. This put me a bit more on guard, master told me about the special dreams, which the gifted people had from time to time.’

  ‘The force called out to warn us of great danger, reat ge.’

  ‘Since master was here, and he seemed calm. I could only think that in this case the tter happened or will happen soon. This, however, only raised more questions. I tried to ask my master, but he raised his right hand pre-emptively, stopping the ining storm of questions. Holding back my tongue. I chewed on the inside of my lips anxiously; sometimes it was frustrating that he knew me so well…’

  ‘He pointedly looked at my shoes, which were randomly kicked off somewhere beside my bed. Then turned around, and slowly but surely walked out of the room.’

  ‘I panicked a bit, then jumped out of my bed, trying to pull on my shoes as fast as possible. I grabbed the outer part of my robes as well, from the chair, where I had thrown it before I ended up falling asleep. With that done, I ran out of the room, leks filing in the air behind me, as I closed the distaween me and my master.’

  ‘He had much ls, since he was an adult while I was a thirteen-year-old girl. A few years ago, I would instantly start to whier getting to my master’s side following such a rude awakening, but now I khat it would only lead to some infuriatingly b punishment, which I had no desire to experienot again, anyway.’

  ‘I also realized that my stamina got much better. Not only because I was no longer malnourished. It was just as much thanks to the thin yer of muscles which grew on me because of the training master made me do every single day.’

  ‘We walked through the corridors in fortable silence, reag the turbo lift aing into it. The doors closed with another hiss, and the lift started its dest.’

  ‘Simultaneously, I also desded into my thoughts. The only pce I was fortable enough to pletely let my guards down was in the preseny master. Soon, I felt a touy right shoulder. I looked up, realizing that the door en, and master was looking down at me with a knowing look in his brown eyes.’

  ‘I walked out of the lift in my embarrassment, taking up the lead for a few seds, only to realize that I did not know where we were heading. With a slightly reddening cheek, I stopped. Looking at the floor wordlessly, while master took back the lead with an amused smirk. I followed him without a squeak.’

  ‘We reached the door of master’s private meditating room.’

  ‘My eyebrows rose a bit from surprise; I was never allowed to ehis room. Yet now, the mysterious doors slid apart and master walked into the room, urgio follow him. I hesitated for a few seds, then stepped ihe room. The door closed behind us and a strange feeling immediately made me stop in my tracks. My body suddenly felt heavy. I looked around skeptically. It was a hazy ay room.’

  “Empty?” — ‘I voiced my , surprised by my own observation. I looked around one more time; I couldn’t see master at all.’

  “Master?” — ‘I called out to him again.’

  “Your master is dead.” — ‘A cold, terrifying voice appeared behind me. I spun on my heels, my blue lightsaber activating in mid-motion, scattering the crawling shadows around me.’

  ”o be scared.” — ‘Souhe voice again. This time, it seemed to e from everywhere. I could not pin down the source of it. The shadows on the edges of the room started to move slowly, encirg me.’

  “You will join him soon.” — ‘The voice appeared behind me once again. I turo face it and froze.’

  “Ma-master?”

  “I see ynize me. Now kneel, and join by my side as my one and only apprentice… or die.” — ‘Those words were spoken with deceptive ease, yet they tained so much terror within. There was no doubt inside me that he meant what he said and that realization terrified me even more.’

  ‘I felt an urge, a huo submit, to kneel and be on my master’s side forever.’

  ‘My resolve weakened, and my karted to buckle on their own. Faced with the terrible threat… The sense of fear began to numb my limbs and thoughts.’

  ‘Before my knees could give out pletely, our eyes met, and I froze again. The warm brown eyes of my master were o be seen. Instead, I saw a golden gleam and a wide grin on his usually solemn face. It was repulsive. Endless greed and blood-thirst torted his tender yet strict features. However, behind the prideful facade, I could only sense pain, sorrow, a too.’

  ‘My whole body shuddered as the multitude of emotions resohrough me. Their source was my loved master, was no longer my master, but something else.’

  ‘I couldn’t let that creature possess my dear master’s body any longer.’

  ‘My resolve steeled, I stood tall again. Vision blurred from the slowly f tears appearing in my eyes. I finally uood what had happened, and what I would have to do .’

  ‘I stood in a fighting style I learned from master, form seven Juyo, the most aggressive form I knew of, while simultaneously beginning to feed on the emotions that master projected, gathering and enf my will and strength with them.’

  ‘I khat I had no ce to win without doing my utmost and even then; it was hopeless. I decided to use this dangerous fighting style that fed oive emotions because I hoped to surprise mas-... no, this creature and kill it with a suicide attack. Throwing my defense aside, I was about to jump when a familiar voice stopped me.’

  “Enough!” — ‘I blinked, looking around, fused. The shadows disappeared, the cold and pressuring presence receded. The room seemed perfectly normal, only oh.’

  ‘In front of me, a familiar pond appeared, and my master was standing oher side of the room, smiling at me with an amused smirk f on his lips. His features looked tired and sad, but also hopeful. My dream! This was what I saw in my dream, and there was the pond, too. I looked around one more time and then walked closer, still standing on the opposite side of the small pond. My obviously wary behavior elicited another loud smirk from master.’

  “It was a trial, your st trial, to be more specific.”

  ‘I blinked again, with growing fusion. I never evehere was a trial…’

  “You passed.”— ‘I blinked one more time, watg and listening to him silently.’

  “gratution, from today on you have gaihe title and mantle of the thirteenth Gray Lord.” — ’My mouth opened as my jaw moved slightly up and down, but no voice came out of my suddenly straihroat.’

  ‘Long minutes passed in this manner. At st, my voice came bae and I successfully squeaked out a few words.’

  ”I… I am… not ready…”

  “Yes you are, you must.” — ‘Souhe dreadful answer.’

  “Wait… but no, why… so suddenly? I…”

  “Nizzal, I am dying.”

  ‘There, my building oppositions and excuses crumbled and scattered uhe weight of those words. I felt my eyes water as the flood of tears broke loose.’

  “No, master… don’t leave me. We go to a doctor… to heal you.”

  ‘Master shook his head slowly; an ho smile appeared on his face while he said.’

  “Dear child, no doctor could heal old age. There is no teology which could give life to these old bones of mine, and even if there was such a thing, I would not allow it to be done. Holy, I am somewhat ied in the secret that lies beyond the veil of life.”

  ‘I couldn’t accept such reasoning. There was no way!’ — “Master, but I… I ’t, I am too young… there is too much I don’t know yet…”

  ‘Master smiled reassuringly.’ — “Of that, I am sure.”

  “Then will you…” — ‘I pleaded.’

  “I ’t. Now, stop with the futile pleading. There is one more thing we have to do tonight.”

  ‘I tried to gain back the trol over those tears and gather myself together to listen properly. Master tinued his monologue with his usual lecturing tone.’

  “Did you ever wonder why I never gave you a holo? The item that Sith and Jedi use for teag and st their secrets.”

  ‘I o indicate that I actually thought about it.’

  “Good. The reason wasn’t that I didn’t think you were worthy. It is much simpler actually, we never created holos, we created a better yet more risky method to preserve knowledge and defend our secrets. We created living holos.”

  ‘I was surprised by this revetio I could not uand what that exactly meant.’

  “I and every one of the thirteen masters of the order is such a holo. This means, as I am no longer suitable to bear this responsibility, it is time for you to bee one.”

  “I…”

  ‘Master looked at me with a hint of a my disruption, and I closed my mouth again. There were millions of questions jumping around my mind, but I forced myself to focus on what more master had to say.’

  ‘His features turned milder, seeing my slightly shaking form.’

  “Every one of your questions will be answered after we finish the ritual.”

  ‘He stated, and I rexed a bit.’

  “Wh-what do I have to do?”

  “I ask you to remove your clothes and sit down cross-legged in the middle of the pond; submerge half of your body in the liquid. Then you will have to open yourself to the fortirely, clear your mind, a go.”

  “…kay…”

  ‘I started to remove my clothes, pg them on each other ly on the floor, just to stretch the time a bit. After removing every piece of clothing, I stood there awkwardly, c myself with my hands with a frustratingly rosy cheek.’

  ‘My master’s expression was the same as always, stoic but warm, as if there was nothing unusual. This, thankfully, made me rex, and I walked into the pond, sitting down the way it was requested. I tried to clear my mind and open up to the force, but it felt harder than ever before. I became frustrated with my failures and doubts started to emerge on the brink of my thoughts.’

  ‘That was the moment when master’s voice appeared again.’

  “Nizzal, do you trust me?”

  ‘My chaotic thoughts stopped in their endless circles, as I felt hurt and frustrated by the question.’

  “Of course, I do!” — ‘I stated, with stubborn frustration.’

  ”Then rex your mind a go.”

  ‘I did just that. My doubts and fears were strangely chased away. I could finally open my mind to the force. A few mier, I fell into a deep meditative state, pletely submerged in the force.’

  ‘Then the memories came, a flood of seemingly endless memories of people I never saw, never met, or never even knew of their existence. I was seeing through their eyes I felt what they felt, every sensation, every fear, every doubt and every desire.’

  ‘I felt as if their feelings and experiences became my experiences and fears. No… it was exactly what was happening.’

  ‘After a long time, the first person’s memories heir end as the human male, named Darth Revan, created and used the same ritual as my master did. A ritual that was inally a Sith ritual created to steal another person’s body and repce their souls with the caster’s soul, but it was ged and recreated in a new manner for another purpose.’

  ‘That goal was to impnt the caster’s memories and experiences into the subject. There was a need for a willing subjed a heavy price had to be paid. I watched as Raven’s body disied to fuel the power of the spell.’

  ‘The perspective ged, and I heard the dull noise of his mask hitting the ground. Now I saw through the eyes of the one he cast the spell on. The stream of memories tinued. Years passed hundreds of years, maybe thousands. There were different masters with different races, some lived longer, and some lived shorter amounts of time. One had lived through hundreds of years, to the extent that she herself did not care to remember how old she exactly was.’

  ‘Then, after geions of memories, as an immeasurable time passed before my eyes, I saw myself, at a younger age. First, I didn’t even realize that I saw my body from a third person’s view.’

  ‘A feassed in the memories when my hazy mind finally realized that it was really me. As the fragments of my numbed personality started to gather the ritual happened, I saw a as my master looked at me, with sadness and a bit of fear from the approag iable end; his eyes looked at my meditating body, searg for reassurance for the first time he wao be reassured, from my presence. Yet my eyes were unfocused, still uhe effect of the force weave. He steeled himself and said.’

  “Nizzy dear, I know that you are ready.” — ‘His body started to disie as his final whispers were spoken.’ — “So am I… thanks to you…”

  ‘With a shaky smile on his face, his body rapidly disied, swallowed by the empty void. His clothes fell limply oeel floor, along with his double-bded lightsaber. The moment the saber’s hilt hit the floor, a resoundiy noise was geed that woke me from my meditative state.’

  A few seds ter, the light gray-skin colored twi’lek girl’s body started to move as she woke from her trance.

  Her eyelids opened, and she looked around the room slowly, hey gaze stopping on the pile of ceremonial clothes ying on the ground. The pink eyes that usually glinted with childish innoce were gone.

  There was a deep knowledge and experien those eyes now, along with a disturbing amount of apathy. Not something that a child should ever possess. She stood up slowly, walked out of the pond, ung for her nakedness.

  She monotonously picked up the ceremonial garbs, carefully folding the still-warm clothes of her master. Her movements were practiced, fident as if she have dohis many times before.

  Maybe she has?

  She finally picked up the double-bded saber, then walked to a se of the wall. Where she pushed a carefully hidden activator through the subtle use of the force.

  At st, a new secret chamber opened, revealing the entrance of dusty a tomb, a tomb for the masters of the order. She pced her master’s clothes oop of the simple empty stoal beside the other twelve already used ones.

  The eerily silent, dim room was filled with the fading remains of ceremonial clothes once belonging to powerful masters of the order.

  Some of those clothes long siurned into dust and only the strangely glinting hilts of once proudly held lightsabers could be seen among the dust.

  Everyone created their owal; therefore, this was the oy one. She will have to create her owhat time es.

  There weren’t many rules in the order, only a few such as this one were.

  There are currently thirteen lines of memories with thirteen different masters, gray lords ray jedi, as most identified themselves.

  In the past, there were a lot more lines, but they faded, along with many things in the universe. Entropy was one of the major forces fueling the cycle of existehey were no exception in that regard.

  Gray lords were the ones closer to the dark aspects, just as her memories were.

  ‘Our order lived through secrecy, sihere was oive member of every line of memories until the time came to give them away to the master. Because there were no separate holos to steal or to find, the jedi and sith never learned of our presehat also means if one master dies before using the ritual, the memories are lost with them forever. They became faded. Milleniums of effort and knowledge disappearing iter of seds.’

  ‘About two hundred years ago was the st meeting of the masters. Only five of us appeared, and o his regard through another master. I am too old for this journey was the simple message. That means, overall, six masters were surely alive. Seven lines of memories were lost or simply did not care about the meeting or didn’t get the invitation in time.’

  ‘Another rule was to never create a physical holo and there was a rule to never succumb to the dark side, but that rule bees ridiculous after five geions of memories. With that much life experie bees clear that letting the dark side trol you is a stupid mistake. Therefore, its lure loses its power. After enough time lived and experiehered, you realize that life is not a linear line, but many smaller and bigger circles that repeat themselves with different characters.’

  ‘The dark side is a quick way to gain power, but what you gain is fickle and easy to lose. It loses its childish allure for those with a wider perspective. The st rule was that you elongate your life as long as possible with the force, but you ake yourself immortal to natural death. To learn and truly uand the ws of the force, you need many-different perspectives.’

  ‘That is the reason you have to give away the memories when your time es, and that is the natural way of the universe. The first masters created these rules with absolute faith in them, and siheir creator’s memories live through us, we ied the strong faith in the need of those rules. I had no wish to oppose them.’

  ‘I pced master’s saber on top of his folded clothes; I gave a st sidelong look to the other pedestals, then turned around and walked out of the room, closing it behind me. I walked bay clothes dressed up, then picked up my lightsaber.’

  ‘I held it out before me and then activated it. Instead of the usual blue color, the bde had a shining silver light to it. The crystals used in the order were special kinds of Kyber crystals. Their colors ged to reflect the personality of the one who bonded with them.’

  ‘What forms a personality if not the knowledge and experiences gathered in the mind? I turned off my saber and walked to the door that opened automatically. I looked back to the room one more time, already dreading the day when I will e back here. This time I will be in the shoes of my master. On a whim, I turned around, put my palms together in front of my chest, and gave a slight bow.’

  “Rest well, masters. Until we meet again.”

  ‘Then I straightened my spine and walked out of the room, closing it behih the use of the force, entombing the secret ritual chamber for another few hundreds of years, hopefully.’

  ‘While I walked towards the turbo lift, I thought about that strange bow I just pleted with such reverence. In response, memories of old Sith ceremonies came to the forefront of my mind, showing rituals that happened on Korriban hundreds of years ago.’

  “Iing. Now I guess it’s time to live, and explore the world, see it with my owo pare memories to the currey. Since I am not a stuck up jedi to live in seclusioher am I a sith to plot something sinister all the time. Living as a gray jedi ray lord means that I am free. Free from the influence of the force, well as free as you bee from it anyway, and I have several geions of moo spend.”

  ‘I reached the lift and activated it. Noaiting to get bato the living quarters of the fotten old Sith temple, built into a w volo that was mostly buried uhe frozen surface of Hoth.’

  “Then again, what should I do? I don’t know much of the current political situation or anything like that, not that I care. Master was in seclusion for the st seven years; he was training me and never left for much time, only t back food and other things for us. By the way, why am I talking to myself aloud?”

  ‘Another memory came to answer my question.’

  “Ah, of course, master Bell Pha, sigh, why would she go into a hundred and fifty years-long seclusions if she hated to be alohat baffling Muun… Always talking to herself!”

  ‘I froze in mid-step.’

  “Was this the reason master forced me to speak as punctually as possible?”

  ‘I smirked loudly.’

  “He was actually trying to help me with this problem even before it occurred.”

  ‘I slowly shook my head with an amused smile pstered over my face, ohat I was sure to be almost, if irely, identical to my master’s ical smiles.’