After Aomi decided to share some of our muarded secrets with Ahsoka and Anakin, we found ourselves sitting on the tainers in silence while the two jedi were attempting to prehend the weight of the information that was shared with them.

  I looked them in the eyes, deeply. I sensed fear, fusion, and curiosity, both of them were currently in an internal flict, from the very moment they learhat once I, and many others from our order had embraced the teags of the Sith, even if that was in a different life. They could not uand the exaature in which I was, and still am Darth Revan. They will not uand it, as that is one of the secrets we ot share with anyone, outside of our order. It is too bizarre and too dangerous.

  A holo is a tool that is used for immense information ste, and therefore, it is possible to extract that information forcefully. It is plicated and risky as there are defensive meics built into them. That exact procedure is even harder to do when the subject is a living holo. Still, the best defense against such attempts is plete secrecy. After all, nobody ever heard of living holos, so let it stay that way, and we will be fine.

  I watched as Ahsoka's expression tio stay perplexed. It was not easy to accept such truths. I khat they never imagined learning these things on an infiltration mission. The force brought us together. It was obvious, for which reason I ot tell yet, if I would have to guess, it had something to do with the darkhat surrounded Anakin. He reminds me of Revan, before he had been ed by darkness for the first time. Yes, and he is even more powerful. The ce to gain such a powerful apprentice would be too much to resist for a Sith master.

  As the realization hit me, my eyes widened for a sed. The Sith master, was trying to turn Anakin to the darkside. It almost succeeded in the process, but it seems some unforesee almost broke his or her e with Anakin. Anakin's currently chaotic force presence is the only evidence I o know that.

  I gave a side go Aomi, I wonder if she knew about this, was that the reason why she chose to deem them trustworthy?

  Aomi quickly sensed my eyes on her, as she turowards me. Seeing my ptive expression, she gave me a smile and a small nod.

  ...Of course she did... She is trying to fill in the void that was left behind the Sith Master... This is why she told them so many things, although she didn't really share anything crucial. She only talked about how our order was created; how did we spend the st thousand years in hiding aive peace. It is important knowledge, of course, but it is still retively useless data.

  I turo Ahsoka again as I saw a deep froear on her fabsp;

  She must think that we have been reinated or reborn, or whatever. The fact that we are living holos will never be shared with them, except if they join the order, of course. Would they do such a thing? I had my doubts... She was still hopeful. I could feel it as our eyes met. She wao know the reason.

  I sighed deeply, and after a st deep breath I opened my mouth and began to share a story, that had not been told for four thousand years.

  -Ahsoka, I see, that you want to know, the reason why Revao the darkside. I mean... Why did I fall. The reason is war, one of the most cruel wars in the gaxy. I will tell you the gist of it, and you do with the information whatever you want, but know this, I am no longer a Sith. I did not lie about that.

  Ahsoka nodded slowly, while Anakin only tio gre at me and the others. In the end, he also gave me a short nod.

  -Now then... where should I start?

  I said outload.

  - I am afraid that my expnation will ly be what you two hope to hear. The short ao that question would be what every Sith would tell you. I wanted more, more power, more freedom, to break the series of s that society and the jedi order pe, which I never asked for. To free myself of the republic's expectations, to bee something more, rule over the gaxy, and step on those who dared to stand in my way.

  I sensed as a golden hue began to y eyes half way through my expnation. A greed began tnite in my soul, ohat's call was so familiar and sweet. That my body shook with anticipation, almost demandio give in. I closed my eyes, and cleared my heart of desire, and the haunting demons crawled bato the darkness from whehey spawned. My eyes cleared, only to see the pity in the eyes of Anakin and even in Ahsoka's. Pity, of all things, I didn't expect. They were kind people deep down in their hearth after all. Yet I could sense more than pity, in Anakin. He was afraid, no... shameful? So that is it, he khe call already, not surprising, since he had experiewo years of war when he was still young, and even ag as a master while teag his orentice. How much the order expect from someone who is practically a child, fools, they still fail to temper their pride after so many years.

  As Ahsoka began to fidget slightly, I realized that it was time to tinue my story.

  -Back then, I always found a reason that I used to tell myself why my as were justified. That the old jedi cil was ineffit, which it was, I suppose, as they were the ones who betrayed me first. They used me as a tool, to win a war for them, which I did. I defeated the mandalorians, only for them to try to get rid of me when I walked back to their pompous halls.

  I felt that my temper began to rise again, just because I recalled those events. Those memories were clear for me, as if it only happened yesterday.

  -They realized that I had ged. I dabbled in the darkside, but they ighe reason, that it was to save their precious Republic. Yet, they were still right about ohing; I did things, in that war, things that should not have been done... I witnessed brothers and sisters die by the cruel and cowardly attacks of the mandalorians. Their hit-and-run tactics as they swooped down from the sky at any possible moment, wreaked havo their path. Burning bodies, the sweet siing smell of burned human flesh. As they captured people with their wire and pulled them up in the air, only to drop them from the sky, still alive and helpless, falling to their deaths, their terrorized screams as they realized what was going to happen. I witnessed tless soldiers, young and old alike, as they had died otlefields, on both sides. It was a cruel war. Se living beings on both sides, not droids and es. These men had their own families waiting for them at home... es didn't have such. They were human, but at the same time they were made for war.

  -I tried.. I tried to stay by the rules of the jedi order. I did it for as long as I possibly could. However, we were in a hostile enviro surrounded by enemies. Our only supply line had been ravaged by enemy ambushes. We had barely enough equipment, clear water, food and energy cells to defend our positions. Yet they wanted us to push forward and take the enemy base. It was a mission, ordered by the Old Republic's highest leaders. They wao finish the war, and the cil did not care about the fact that this was a suicide mission. However, I, as the ander of the ground army, did.

  -Self-sacrifice was the Jedi way, but was it truly self-sacrifice, if it happened on the cil's demand? I was not a coward. I didn't run away. Never left behind my rades or friends. Still, I was not ready to die meaninglessly and throw away my soldiers lives in a war I had little to no e with. All that just to satisfy the unreasonable demands of a far away cil that has no true uanding of the weight of their decisions, nor the sequences. Do all that in an expected idealistic way that only lowers our ces of survival. I couldn't look into the eyes of the soldiers serving under me anymore, and lie to them, that everything would be fine, when I khat we would die if this went on, only for a few more days. One night, between the tinuous raids of the Mandaloriaroopers, I made my decision. I threw away the rules that bounded our hands, and did the only thing that the enemy never expected us to do. We attacked their civilian cities, the ohey used to supply their soldiers and ambush squads. We didn't try to differentiate civilians from soldiers anymore. It would have been impossible, they would just hide them, or they would escape to send a message to their allies, and we would be ambushed again before we could reay sensus. It has happened before, many times. Instead, we burhe cities, burhe vilges and ter we burhe very forest that was holding back our advance.

  -We burned everything to the ground, killed everyone massacred them just as they did with us. There was no more mero more pity. Only efficy mattered. We were not ready to die for a Republic so far away that after months of bloody battles we were not even sure if there ublid we didn't even care. It was kill or be killed, and the more effit killers were the ones who came out on top in the end. Nothing else mattered, and we won. We won, but we ged in the process. Not just me, there were hundreds of jedi, who had gohrough the same experience as me. They were ged, all of them, not in the same way, not at the same depth. But they ged. War doesn't make a kid turn into a man. War turns children into coldblooded killers. And the Mandalorian wars, were one of the most cruel and bloody wars in the history of the gaxy.

  I told them my, no... Darth Revan's story, of how he created a separation in the jedi order after they tried to imprison him, that led to the jedi civil wars. How he discovered a still existing sith army hiding in the uncharted regions. How he began to prepare against the ining sith invasion and how he drove the old republic to the brink of colpse. Then I told them how he was betrayed by his own friend and apprentice, Mak, and how he was brainwashed and pyed by the jedi against the very fa he created. How his owinguished the lives of his own soldiers and friends without even realizing what he was doing. How the jedi wao kill him after he fiheir job a sed time. How he despaired when he realized the truth, as he uood that his entire life was wasted on beliefs and philosophies that were meaningless in the eyes of their highest representatives. They were essentially lies. I told them how Basti realized this as well, and chose to e with me and create an order where our main goal would be to get rid of the influence of the force itself, and bee truly free. This was how the Grey Order was created hidden in the dark ers of the universe. stantly watg and learning in silence, expl pces where few have ventured from this gaxy, if any. We have created our own paradise. Darth Revan had created the order, and he was its first Grandmaster. That is part of the reason why I am picked as the one, just as my master was. Because we are Darth Revan and more.

  From then on, Aomi took over the role of story teller.

  -With the help of Basti Shan, which means me! Revan had made his decision after experieng both sides of the force thhly. He was one of the extremely few people who mao go the true nature, of the force. As he witnessed and experie, with his own skin. He uood how both the light side and the dark side shamelessly maniputed people, both doing it in a cold and calg manner, while doing everything to cover it up, making you feel that that was what you wanted, all along. Until you yourself will eventually believe it, that this was your wish and your only possible choice. The force, thhly and deeply influences every beings decisions, even those who are not force-sensitive. The force will influence your decisions, the influence will grow stronger if you have a higher midi-chlorian t in your body. If you have a rge amount, like Revan had, you are bound to bee a simple pything for the force, you will be used on one or both sides of the eternal war, until you are destroyed and thrown away, only for another oo take your pd suffer the same fate as you did.

  -There is o the war between darkness and light. Even if the gaxy turns to ashes, their battle will still rage on, as the force itself is a siity that includes both sides. Its aspects are timeless and necessary for the tinuity of the world. One is warmth while the other is ess, tradition and innovation, light and darkness, life ah. Two-part that opposes one another of the same entity. her one be destroyed only weakened, and even that is partial and localized. From a wider perspective, it has no meaning. Gaxies, worlds, trillions of lives will ignite and be extinguished, but the ford its nature will remain the same. Even after so many years of research, we ot fully uand it. But we know, that it is truly alive, a being so different from us, that it only unicate with us if it mirrors our desires, granting power for those who are able and wish to use it, and granting benevoleo those who wish to grow as an individual. The force is a being that you call a god in all hoy. It is best to think of the force, as aension of the mind, whatever is in your mind, if you are force-sensitive, those very thoughts of yours will beore and more extreme in their nature, more strohe only w way to get back your freedom is to realize these facts and search for the baween the darkside and the lightside.

  After Aomi finished her monologue, another wave of silence fell upon our little group. Anakin was ihoughts. I don't bme him. It was quite an avanche we just unleashed on them. Although, Ahsoka seemed to accept the news more easily, if her helpless expression filled with pity as she looked at me was any indication. The acceptability and open mindedness of a child never ceases to amuse me. Of course, I don't really think that we will ever be that close as we were until now. Especially, that I still tinue, and will tio hide secrets from them. It is more than enough, that they stopped gring at me, as if I was some sort of prime evil.

  I am not really sure, if telling them all of this was a good idea... It certainly feels unfortable right now... As if a yer of my clothes had been ripped off... What a mess... Oher hand... I don't have to think three or four times before I open my mouth around them anymore. Two times should be enough. It is really tiring to watch out for how and what you speak all the time. My raging bodily hormones don't help a bit.

  I was feeling pretty unfortable right now. The repercussions of pletely stopping the age slowing teique are about to bite me in the ass. I mean, I am thirteen years old... it's puberty at its fi. It didn't really bother me until now, si slowed down because of the teique and most of its effects were weakeo a ing degree. But now... why does my tummy hurt like this... It could be because of the stress, but... wait.

  My eyes widened as the realization hit me. I am a girl... Oh hell no! I turo Aomi, who was sittio me, with a pleading expression... She looked at me quite surprised, seeing my sudden mood swing. I leaowards her and whispered into her ear that I have some problems and we o talk. I felt my face turn pink to a degree... as we excused ourselves. Oh, this is going to be aremely embarrassing versation... Aomi doesn't seem to be the kind of woman, who wouldn't turn su event into a on of creating stant embarrassment for me. Even so... There is no way I would ask Ahsoka for help after that type of versation... I would rather die.

  The very thought of ending my life, had triggered a self-defense meism in my mind, one of the effects of being a holo. It could forcefully ejeio your system to make your own depressing thoughts disappear and stop you from any serious attempt to kill yourself. It was an actually good meism that we liked normally... But I didn't need more hormones in my bloodstream right now! I felt like g... Sigh... Okay, lets speak this over in a serious manner.