Life and love,

  Two different words, two different meanings, yet both entirely depe on one ao their very roots. Even the form of the words, in this particur tongue are very simir in their nature. This might not be the case in most nguages, but I felt it necessary to point out the obvious simirity appearing here.

  At a time in the midst of my boldness, I have thought to step into the long line of souls, who have, with such certainty, been driven by arrogance, curiosity or other type of humaion. They evidently joio the line of people, who have stated that they figured the reasons, and goals of life, thought that they deciphered the ws of the burning all-ing fme that we call love.

  Now, with a few more years behind my back, I think I was lucky to miss that ce.

  As everythiually breaks down around us with tides of unstoppable waves. At those times we will find it hard to search for a reason to stand up, as we are surrounded by our own loneliness and darkness. At those times we have to remind ourselves to the reasons to push through, ever forward. Aep on the road, aep forward, one more footpri behiually all fotten.

  Was there a reason in the first pce to begin this life?

  And if there was, was it truly love?

  Or was it just a misuood desire to share that solitude one carries in their chest?

  But if that is the cause, isn't love something necessarily born from the eternal loneliness of oneself? A hole that we try, and try to fill with something, anything to find a momentary relief from... from our own mind...

  A little door in a dark er of the soul, one so obvious, but almost always fotten.

  A door that we fear.

  There will be a time when most of us, will have to open this door.

  And we will have to give at of our sins.

  But then...

  We will be fiven.

  Even if that is true... I wonder, will we ever five ourselves?

  ...

  In the end of all things, life is an opportunity, and love? It is the result of that opportunity.

  Saying anything more is unnecessary, it would be the ws of a narcissistic eg to restruct the maations from a singur perspective, that is poisoned by one's personality and sense of self. Each being is different, each life is different, just as every love. There are simirities, but who is to tell, what will happen the same, and what will differ?

  The force however powerful it might be, ot answer every question. And so, we struggle onwards, bearing many wounds and grudges. Both visible and hidden from the eyes.

  A pair of haunted eyes shot open in the dimly lighted room. The eyes beloo a young man, they beloo Anakin Skywalker. His face was covered in perspiration, his chest was raising and falling quickly, it was the result of the nightmare he just experienced. No, no... he didn't believe it to be a nightmare, oh no... it was too simir to those... he saw, the ones of his mother... Suddenly his throat felt painfully dry... He o drink some water, yes that should help.

  On that decision he immediately sat up on the bed and was just about to stand up with the same momentum to pour some water. When he pushed his leg off the bed however, he heard a feminine groan ing from the other side of the bed.

  For a moment he felt incredibly fused... It might be the reason of his nightmare, his tiredness, or the unfamiliar room, maybe the pletely ridiculous things that he experienced i few days, probably all of them pyed a factor, but he suddenly couldn't figure out what was his dream or what wasn't. Is he still on Corust with Padmé?

  He looked around the pce more... Hmmm, that is unlikely... than who is that...

  His question was silently answered by the e skinned girl turning over the bed. It was Ahsoka... seeing her prompted his memories, and they began to flow back. He remembered that they spoke of their visions with one another, sharing those awkward thoughts, and ominous details in those force premonitions... No, they weren't really force premonitions... they were more than that, illusions maybe? He was the one supposed to be the master, but he found himself just as fused by those as Ahsoka was.

  There was simply nothing he could say with certainty, and in the end, after they both eat the food they ordered from the droids, Ahsoka has fallen asleep actally. The bed was of a generous size, more than enough for two people and he didn't have the heart to wake her up, just to tell her to go and sleep in her own room...

  No... he frowned as somethi wrong with that statement... It wasirely true... He simply didn't want to, didn't dared to remain alone in this cursed room in the middle of the night. The memories of that dark thing... were too fresh in his mind, the red bde... his red bde... The eery familiarity in the way he held his bde... The message was clear... it was too clear to miss it, but he tried to miss the signs with all of his mind a, even so he could not.

  He wasn't, still isn't willing to believe that that, thing was himself... yet there were too many signs to miss, to expin aually calm his mind, to sway himself into a warm delusion. It didn't work this time; the wound was ripped open too deeply.

  The cold words echoed in his mind, while he looked at the peacefully sleeping face of Ahsoka, as if a terrible firmation of his own thoughts and suspis.

  "You know, who I am."

  Yes... he knew. In that moment, he felt that he truly k. He reached out, and grabbed onto the nearby table to support himself, as a wave of faintness came over him. The room seemed to slowly move around him, in a slow chaotice. He heard terrified screams, faraway shouts and painful curses fill his ears and mind. Screams belonging to men, women, and children, all filled with terror asking him for mercy, some pleading for a quick death. All morphing into a terrifying cacophony of voices.

  Then... silenbsp;

  He felt a strong resonation, as if the very air vibrated around him, his mind began w in overdrive... He reized this sensation, he learned about it iemple... it felt just like a shatter point. Then those screams were...

  -Did I truly... cause those?

  The strength in his legs seemed to leave him as he colpsed onto the nearby chair.

  -And if I did... What would happen now? Has it ged?

  His dream, Padmé... She was in danger; he could feel it... He o go babsp;

  -What you do now, remains to be seen, favored child of the force.

  A familiar voice, still holding onto a modicum of childishness spoke up in the dim room. The voice was filled with a deep ess, yet it sounded lively, almost i at the same time. His eyes looked up as goosebumps appeared all over his skin, seeing the not simply stra abnormal whirlpool like gray eyes of the twi'lek child he first met a few years ago in the practice hall of the temple. She was always weird, but now, as he saw those eyes... he finally realized how different this being truly was.

  -The future has been ged, but is it truly for the better? That I ot say... There is no such thing, as seeing the future. The past, the present and the future... They are nothing more than mere opportuo do good, or to do evil, or maybe to do her.

  As she spoke, she had an easy-going smile on her face, as if all that she spoke didn't matter in the least.

  As I thought of those words, I saw her face lean to the side pyfully as she searched my eyes with those haunting new eyes of hers. She smiled sweetly at st and spoke.

  -Because it does not, dummy.

  She smiled brightly in my dire. And... wait? Did I speak those thoughts out loud?

  -Life, death. The cycle tinues.

  She watched my fused expression and smirked a little. Then she lifted both her hands slightly as she was sitting on the floor with crossed legs in a standard meditative position. She lifted her hands opened her palms and crossed them in front of her f a pair of bird like wings. Then she moved her palms remi of the wing-strokes of a butterfly.

  -When you look at life, you see a lihat begins with the birth of you and ends with your death. It is only true from your point of view, yet it falls ft from mine. From the memories left in my care, I see farther. As I see it, life is like a butterfly. Every beat of the wings pushes it forward, every beat lifts it higher drives it towards a new goal, a goal that might ge in the very sed. In my eyes, every beat represents the life of a new geion, which always builds upon the shoulders of the ohey follow. It is a beautiful yet chaotice, isn't it?

  She smiled at me warmly, and I nodded seeing the truth in her words.

  -Yet now I have remembered that there must be another, even bigger perspective, and ohat is even bigger than that... and again.

  I gulped and nodded once more. She smiled and a gss of water floated in front of me out of nowhere.

  -Sate your thirst. There is happio be found in such small things.

  I accepted the offer and drunk some of the water after I picked out the gss from the air. It was held by the force.

  -Now then. Do you uand that what you do doesn't truly matter?

  Asked the twi'lek with a pyful yet fident smile.

  I thought about that for a while, then answered with a bit of annoyanbsp;

  -I see, what you mean... However, I think it still very much matters to me.

  Her face lighted up with a warmth, and she nodded happily. Her behavior reminded me of Grandmaster Yoda a little... I listeo what she had to say, as I saw her take in a deep breath likely preparing for another round of banter.

  -Yes, exactly. It matters to you, but what matters to you is airely different question, my friend. Greed is a vile poison, ohat has ed so many over the history of races. You have to choose what you hold dear and stand by it, however you ot have everything, or it will e you just the same.

  -I have to choose between what?

  -In your case, there are only two worthy options.

  Anakin turned silent as he stared at a random spot on the floor. Then after a few minutes of silence he asked.

  -Who are you, really. I mean this whole pce? It's different, almost unbelievable.

  This time, it was Nizzal's turn to bee silent, but eventually she also chose to speak.

  -To answer your question, I will have to state who I was, once. But it is a story I ot dare to share, not iail.

  She grinned ily at her own words as she added.

  -It would take a few lifetimes, to tell by normal means, and I khat you were at least partly familiar with my story already.

  Anakin's eyebrows were raised up in surprise. His expression clearly suggested that he wasn't thinking so, yet wasn't willing to raise a voiced obje either.

  -Do you know the tale, of Darth Revan?

  This question took Anakin by surprise, as he indeed khe still very famous story especially among the jedi younglings. He was also an apprentice when he first heard the mysterious and grand story of the betrayer.

  -I do know it, yes.

  -He is the creator of what we call The Grey Order today. He was the first grandmaster, and today I have mao rise to the rank of the Grandmaster of our order. Also, in a sense, Darth Revan was one of my masters to help me succeed in this quest.

  Anakin's eyes widened as he looked at the small twi'lek sitting not far from him. There was without a doubt something strange around her beyond those new set of eyes, was that the reason for such a ge, but it felt too deep, too sudden. And what is this nonsehat he was trained by Darth Revan, that man should have been dead long ago... No, he is definitely dead, right? But wait, she stated not long ago, that she is over four thousand years old... could that be really true... There are races that live that long in the universe, but to stretch out one's life to such a length even through the help of the force... isn't this basically immortality?

  Nizzal watched the wide variety of expressions appear on the face of Anakin, there was disbelief, suspi, surprise, shod disbelief once more. She couldn't stand it any longer and ughed at his stupid expressions.

  -Haha... no, don't misuood it... by no means am I immortal, I would not wish such punishment on my worst enemies. Immortality is meaningless, if you ot share it with others, and even then... It will eventually rot you from the inside. We are not meant to be immortals Anakin; such a burden would prove too much to bear for our small shoulders. I am afraid, I ot share my eory with you, but you may freely look into the public library iy. You will find more than enough, to uand our positions on this matter. Even so most of what the jedi order told you, about Darth Revan is true, but reading a few scripts will show you, that the story is much more colorful than you were led to believe.

  She stayed silent for a few short seds, the light of the warming up meical sun began to shihrough the windows into the roing fort and warmth.

  -Today, both my Jedi training and Sith training came to an end. I finished my exams, and I ted as the new Grandmaster. Things will ge now; the time is ripe to reveal our preseo the world. The Order of the Grey shall rise from the shadows of darkness. If for nothing else, but to provide an alternative, a new way for those who seek the truth among lies, a risky, but necessary decision.

  Anaki clearly flicted by this sudden turn of events. Therefore, he asked.

  -I don't uand, you guys spent so much effort in hiding, why would you throw that away so easily.

  -I am happy that you asked that.

  The gray skinned girl's expression turned serious as she answered.

  -It is to offer, a helping hand to those who have bee aside by the strict orders of the jedi, and the all-ing selfishness of the sith. In other words, for those who wish to live their lives iive pead are willing to do for it, not just expeg for others to create it for them, because such behavior leads to nothing more than voluntary svery and the illusion of freedom. We will be there for those, who have stood in the face of danger, for those who have suffered the whip of fate, like I did.

  -This is what I decre as the new era of the Grey Order. This is my wish, as the grandmaster who has received the name of Darth Waif.

  A fortable silence filled the room, in the wake of those words. The air was calm, and peaceful.

  Nizzal turowards the bed and said with finality.

  -Also, you stop pying dead now.

  -Ugh... busted...

  Came a meek girlish voice from that dire as Ahsoka sat up on the bed, awkwardly scratg her lekku.

  Anakin was looking at his padawan with a shocked expression, as if he pletely fot the fact that she was ever in the room. Which was exactly the case.

  -...

  He felt speechless in the sudden awkward situation.

  Ahsoka scratched her lekku once more with an awkward smile as she finally stated.

  -You should really practice this "secret" night heart to heart speeches, I mean it's not like I want to eavesdrop... it's your fault to be that obvious... I... I mean...

  -Ahsoka...

  She rolled her eyes and added.

  -Okay... sorry... it won't happen again master...

  Anakin seemed surprised by that rea, but he eventually added with a thoughtful expression.

  -No... I wao say that... you are right.

  Ahsoka blinked with wonder in her eyes, as she searched the face of his master. Then with an explicitly rude yet also i gesture she asked with uncalled seriousness.

  -Am I still dreaming?

  The question elicited a good-natured smirk from Nizzal, and a pair of raised brows from Anakin.