I'm sitting in a fancy corporate boardroom across Benny Cole while a stranger points a gun at us as he jitters back and forth.

  "Listen," Benny says as he non-threateningly holds his hands up. "You got our attention. How about you just sit down. Keep the gun even. Right, Raff?" He looks at me.

  Oh, is that me? I'm too scared to answer. The gunman points his weapon directly at me. His arm is swaying up and down from the weight and my eyes cross as they try to focus on the barrel.

  I feel sick. Then I’m almost weightless again.

  "Commander?" Engineer Ramirez calls to me. I turn my head and see a bright flash of light.

  I blink my eyes and I've disappeared into nothingness.

  "Commander? You getting this?" Ramirez calls me again. I turn to look for Ramirez but I don't see him. It occurs to me that I shouldn't expect him here. He's doing his job somewhere else.

  I'm me again, I think. This feels like the real me, but I’ve already been here. I'm sitting in the first-officer's chair of the Zephirx. Is this a memory or déjà vu?

  I look down at my controls to orient myself but I can’t help but peek out at the view from the cockpit. I gaze outside the viewport and focus on the big red marble while we slowly creep closer. The redness of Mars is hauntingly fascinating. I could stare at it forever. It's so different and alien compared to Earth and there's something about its simplicity that's always caught mankind's attention.

  Mars is still a bit over the horizon. I think we're close to halfway if memory serves me right. I can almost remember who I am.

  That's right, this is before the accident. I'm strapped into my seat (as per regulations), alone in the cockpit while Captain Delcroix takes his rest time. My helmet and suit are locked into a side panel with its onboard Sol sleeping and waiting. Sol1 being the main AI agent that manages the entire ship while he spreads his weaker clones into all the ship's different components.

  I feel a bit dizzy as this all comes back to me. The ship, the routine, the duties, the routine. The routine, the routine. I always have to follow the routine out here.

  "Engineer Ramirez," I call out as I press the engineering room's comm button. "Cockpit here. How's your end?" I release the button and then start to earn my commander rank: "Sol, generate hourly system report."

  "Here you are, Commander," Sol1 says as the screen in front of me fills with data and statistics. Most numbers are green but a couple are reporting yellow.

  The console beeps and Ramirez joins: "Sending over my data packet now. Staying on."

  "Sol," I tell the Zephirx ship, "Compare the data sets and identity anomalies."

  "Two urgent anomalies have been detected," Sol1 announces. "Engineering's reporting higher fuel usage than the cockpit systems. The engineering systems report that 0.003% more fuel was consumed than navigation reports. Please note, in the event of measurement discrepancies, the engineering systems take precedence in accuracy. Secondary to this, our estimated speed for this period of our mission should be 46,875 km/h, however; systems are indicating our speed is currently 46,990 km/h."

  "Shit," I mutter. Why can't I go back to the good memories? I guess I'd have to remember them first.

  "Shit," Ramirez says. "Captain's with the rest of the crew?"

  I roll my eyes. I know we have to call them crew when using official communications, but I'm still annoyed that Ramirez refers to them as "crew".

  "Captain Delcroix is currently resting in the crew quarters," Sol1 mentions before asking: "Would you like me to summon him to the cockpit?"

  "No," I say as I unhook my seat straps. "I'll grab him on my way to engineering. Ramirez, I'll be there in a few."

  The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

  "Sounds good, Commander," Ramirez says. The console beeps as the channel closes.

  I float off my seat and approach the cockpit doors.

  "Sol, make a path for me please," I order the ship. With a ding, the cockpit doors open.

  The Zephirx (Zx) ship has two levels. After the cockpit, there's a common room, followed by the (real) crew quarters, then our engineering room. This main level is modular and designed to detach from the bottom deck in the event of an emergency.

  I float through the threshold as Sol1 proactively opens the next door for me. The common room has an eating station and some exercise equipment that poorly attempts to simulate gravity. Either way, my muscles would die without them.

  I grab a handle on the ceiling and use it to pull myself towards the flight crew's quarters. The doors open, and Captain Delcroix is already there waiting for me.

  "Commander," Captain Delcroix nods to me. I return the favor and float towards the engine room with him.

  The door to engineering opens and we maneuver our way to Ramirez via our trusty handles. Ramirez is swaying in small circles as he floats before his workstation. He's using a harness that’s attached to his waist and is taut due to his distance from his station.

  Soon we're all just sort of floating around each other, and ughhh I'm living through this again. Well, screw it. I'm changing it this time. What comes next? Ramirez and Delcroix are just sort of looking at me.

  Oh right, they expect me to kick it off. This irritates me just as much as it did the first time this all happened. I give a curt smile and raise my eyebrows towards Delcroix - the actual captain of the Zephirx. I am just the co-pilot, after all.

  "Right," Delcroix says, "So Sol said something about a fuel leak?"

  I shake my 888888888888888////['''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

  ,m\head and steady myself on a handle so I don't spin too much.

  "No, no," Ramirez says as he vertically hangs off his console's harness. "There's two issues: there's a discrepancy with fuel consumption between systems and our speed is higher than expected."

  "Fuel leak?" I ask. I remember asking it before, and I can't help but relive my mistakes, I guess.

  "Could be," Ramirez says, "But could be an issue with the control system, or the oxidizing mix."

  Delcroix grunts. "Okay, so how bad is it?"

  "Well," Ramirez thinks for a second. "Sol, could you summarize?"

  The ship beeps and Sol1 joins us: "Based on the current data, the additional fuel consumption and speed increase could be explained by some unforeseen technical issue or a variance in our total payload weight. In either case, I am dispatching Sols to audit the control, navigation, fuel, and other related systems.”

  "Sol," Captain Delcroix says. "What are the risks to the mission?"

  "At the current rate, we will arrive at our maximum speed approximately 3 hours, and 15 minutes earlier than anticipated," Sol1 says.

  "Oh man," Delcroix says. "Is there a real danger from this?"

  "Not inherently," Sol1 replies. "The navigation Sol will be able to adjust our course, but I must advise you that exceeding 70,000 km/h could lead to structural damage due to stress and heat. It is crucial that additional steps are taken to perform a thorough physical examination by your team."

  "Thank you, Sol," Delcroix says as he thinks really hard. "Engineer Ramirez, what do you recommend for the physical?"

  "Well, we should probably shut the engine down," Ramirez says. "Just the third one, maybe the fourth, then check the lines, igniter, oxidizer, give it a whole rundown."

  "Okay," Delcroix says and he squints his eyes. "So right now, if we stay the course, we beat the record in even better time but we risk it being worse if it’s not a weight difference. On the plus, side the risks disappear during Zx’s coast and we can run the full physical diagnostic then."

  "With all due respect," Engineer Ramirez says, "I'm not sure we can justify the safety of the ship and its passengers to break a record. I have a family, man. Sir."

  "No, I was just weighing the pros and cons. I mean you're right. The negatives are absolutely there. That being said. We have to consider the optics and the people downstairs," Delcroix says as he motions to our relative floor. "Just Benny himself who owns this would never agree to stay in a ship if he couldn't brag about it. I'm talking absolutely off the record here, but it's true. I'll take it to a vote."

  This is it. I have to do something different this time.

  "I'm to voting to shut down the engine," the ship's Engineer says (in his official capacity). "Just the third, at least."

  "I'll vote to keep it on for now," Delcroix says. "We'll keep monitoring it and if it escalates, we shut them all down. In the meantime, I'll make sure the VIPs downstairs know and I'll let them decide if they want to stop it too. They can veto our go-ahead if they don’t feel safe. I guess that leaves you," he motions to me.

  "Well, if you don't mind, I'd like to accompany you when you brief the VIPs. As long as I can do that, then I vote we keep them running. For now, at least," I say like the cowardly scum I am.

  "Absolutely," Delcroix says. He's not smiling for once.

  I'm just letting this all happen again. I'm just a passenger forced to watch the highlights of my life. I move my fingers and imagine I’m in a lucid dream trying to wake up. I can figure this out. I'm sure of it.

  “Actually,” I say as I surprise myself. I guess I’m doing this. The ship’s environment seems to turn grey. I think I broke reality again. “Can I change my vote?”

  Delcroix steadies himself on a handle to face me. “You know this isn’t how it goes. You’re supposed to be stupid and agree to keep going on like a good little astronaut.”

  “Wait,” I say, “What did you just say?”

  “You’re supposed to vote yes, not no. Don’t change the narrative, dear,” Delcroix says with a smile.

  I feel nauseous. I want to throw up.

  “Why are you talking like her?” I ask. “Why are you doing this to me?”

  “See you next time,” Delcroix says. “Stop fighting it. Oh yeah, I forgot: ‘The Singularity’”

  “Seriously? You’re doing it like that?” I ask. I want to say more but there’s no point. I’m going to anyway. “That’s lazy.”

  “Eh,” Delcroix says as he shrugs. I think it’s Delcroix, but things are fading. The engineering room, Delcroix, and Ramirez dematerialize before me.

  I’m pulled /backwards and I feel my own atoms abandon my body in a grand exodus as I disintegrate into nothingness.

  I really don’t remember who I am anymore.