The bustling kitchen made it hard to focus, but I knew I had to get prep done if I wanted to help Donny. A server walked past me and grabbed my leg. She pinched it and gave me a sly smile. I gave a curious and awkward smile back.

  Who was that again?

  I shrugged and finished laying out the plates for Donny and hopped over to where he was working. Without missing a beat, Donny shoved a small plate up to my nose; “How about this one.”

  “Dill”

  “And this one?”

  I paused to catch my breath and clear my nose. The kitchen was smokier than usual, and it was getting harder to tell what he had in front of me. I coughed through my answer. “Smells to me like chili powder.”

  Donny smacked the plate down, “You’re a natural, kid!”

  I gave a shy, cocky smirk. Praise from the head Sous Chef, and my only friend, always gave me my daily needed boost.

  While looking at Donny’s methods, the same server passed by again – another sharp grab, this time to my upper thigh. I didn’t know whether to be flattered or uncomfortable, no one else seemed to notice. Meanwhile, the kitchen was getting cloudier.

  Was something burning?

  As I looked around, I saw our “Chef de Cuisine” mumble something loudly in my direction. I couldn’t make out most of it – except the dreaded nickname:

  “Crumb….Leto went to go takeapiss W--ch the grill ferrim!”

  Hmph… boss must be buzzed again from the “pressure” of running the kitchen.

  Without skipping a beat, everyone in the kitchen -including the server who made yet another pass and snatched right above my groin- laughed in eerie unison. Donny being the only one who kept focusing on his dish.

  Donny rolled his eyes for me and jerked his head towards the burner, not once did he take his eyes off his work. “Get on, this could be yor big break,” he said sarcastically.

  “I hate that fucking name, man.”

  “Well, they gav- youtha name furareason. You nvr stanup for for yourself”

  The boss being drunk was likely – if not a certainty. But Donny mangling his words was odd. He swore off anything that would affect his work a long time ago – too much pride. I chalked up the weirdness to the increasingly smoky room and squinted towards my new temporary position. The smoke was getting thicker and it was harder to breathe. The cloudiness hazed everything– except the massive fire in front of me.

  I began sweating profusely and felt the sensation of my skin melting. The food on the grill was starting to scorch to the point of being inedible. Whatever I just burned to a crisp, I just torched my chances of reaching Sous Chef. While groaning, the server made another pass at me and dug into my stomach as though she was trying to gouge my gut.

  The smoke was getting unbearable as I was coughing between my annoyed exclamation “can….. YOU NOT…. please?!”

  I was never great at confrontation. After yelling, I instantly felt guilt.

  It didn’t seem to bother the server as she just responded to me with a blank stare. Before I could say something else, she opened her mouth and started chattering her teeth in a hair-raising rhythm.

  Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, okay.

  I turned away to continue watching the food that was now engulfed in a larger fire than before. As I started smelling sizzling hair, my right arm was also feeling dipped in molten lava.

  “Donnnnlet that shtt brnn Crumb!”

  No kidding Matt.

  One 5-star review in the local paper and our kitchen manager thinks he has his own cooking show. I always hated how he managed the team. It didn’t help that his penchant for stupid jokes helped him give me my kitchen nickname that everyone adapted.

  Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  I was as anxious as I was annoyed. Although I didn’t like the guy, I didn’t want to disappoint him either. Too many mistakes were holding me back for so long, I couldn’t fail this too.

  Trying to maintain the out-of-control heat, I turned the knobs only for them to not work. Flustered, I touched my hand to the hot grill, and it seared in pain. I looked around for Donny’s help, but he was gone. All I saw were the rest of the staff look at me and started in chorus,

  “CRUMB CRMB CEERUMB…

  As the chanting continued they all slowly started falling out of rhythm, now just yelling over one another. It also sounded like crackling now more than the dreaded label I’ve been given.

  …CERRRRACCCMB CRKLE”

  Once I opened my eyes and looked around me, the heckling chant finally ceased and turned into the popping of flora and shrubs. Once tall and sturdy, branches gave way to the scorches they caught and started snapping from the massive trees above me. Sap in the flowers was bubbling under the boiling conditions. Ash and embers danced in the air as I was finally coming to from the nightmare I just had.

  Feeling pressure build on my chest, I figured a panic attack was coming but I couldn’t be more wrong. I looked down to the sight of a huge beetle-like creature with even bigger pincers, chittering at me right on top of my abdomen.

  I tried to let out a scream but instead let out violent hacks as smoke filled my lungs. The beetle was dancing on top of me moving its legs ready to attack, startled at my pathetic attempt at a cry for help. Adrenaline kicked in as I pushed the eight-legged freak off my body where it keeled over beside me upside down, now struggling to flip itself over.

  WHAT…. THE…. FUCK!

  Realizing now wasn’t the time to have a breakdown, I used what was left from my miraculously healed body and managed to pick myself up. The smoke was dense when I stood straight and had no idea what to do except get away from here.

  Vivid colors of blazing red and orange were surrounding me. I jumped away from the bug that was clearly not a server at Mouthfeel, running in the direction that I knew would save me.…. through the fire. I felt tar forming in my lungs and what remained of my clothes starting to get charred as I jumped through the flaming wall. My body was begging me to stop running to catch my breath, but I knew I had to get away from the engulfing flames and whatever that thing was.

  Before I felt I was reaching a safe distance, my left leg gave out and I tumbled to the ground. I rolled over and looked down to see massive bleeding gashes, two in my shin, two in my thigh, and four more spread out across my lower torso. That monstrosity was trying to make a meal out of me. Finally noticing the wounds sent a surge of pain through me. I rolled over onto my mutilated stomach and saw the relentless blaze pursuing me. Feelings of defeat and hopelessness were shoved back into the dark crevices of my brain.

  If you want to live, you need to get the fuck up right now.

  I breathed in what air I could on the ground and shot up while holding my breath. Agony flowed through the left side of my body as my stomach wounds were starting to soak what was left of my shirt in blood. I used my right arm to put pressure on the gaping holes, only to see it was fried from the fire getting so close to me.

  You are standing up, you survived a crash, you can survive this.

  My newfound survival instincts gave me the strength I needed to turn my hobbled walk into an injured skip, trying to keep the weight of my lacerated leg. Luckily, the humid weather made it so I was able to outpace the fire with my awkward gait. Then, as if fortune favoring the bold was a prophecy, I saw light at the end of the tunnel…. Literally.

  Gasping for air, I saw an unveiling light through the dense trees and my canter turned into a gallop. I was far enough from the fire where it wasn’t too much of an issue, but I still wanted to leave the radius of it and the monster that was without a doubt stalking me.

  As the light got brighter and wider, I found myself breaking through the trees. The rustling leaves I was pushing through were getting sparse and easier to manage until the sound stopped completely, and I broke through an open area.

  Leaving the sound of chaotic crackling, I was greeted with the calm constant of a river in an opening of the forest. Airy drafts filtered from opposite side of the forest pushed cool spritzes on my face. I looked up and exerted a sigh of relief. I hobbled over to the crystal stream and took a pause.

  This looks like water, but is it?

  Weighing my options, I figured whatever happened next couldn’t be worse than getting burned alive. As I dipped my bloody leg into it, another gleam of hope swept through my once again burned mangled body.

  It's cold, refreshing; but most importantly, shallow.

  I put my other leg in, carefully not putting too much weight on my damaged limb. Through a knee deep current, I started treading to make it past the width of the river. The flow of the river was strong but not enough to drag me through the current. It also helped that large stones were scattered around to break up the speed the stream was going.

  You have about 20 feet until you reach the other side, But what if…

  I tried to ignore the question that something even deadlier might be waiting for me on the other side and used the massive rocks anchored in the water to help me push forward until finally I clutched onto dry land. Pulling up, I dragged myself onto salvation and rolled over, trying to inhale every fresh breath of air I could. Using my intact arm, I propped myself out and looked over the river to see smoke billowing through the forest in front of me. That fire could get as big as it wanted to be, but I couldn’t see it possibly hopping over the river. It didn’t take a meteorologist to see the wind pushing the smoke away from me so even if embers were traveling in the sky; they were going the wrong way. I had narrowly survived my second brush with death… in the same day.

  Why was I never this lucky with lottery tickets?

  I crab walked back and laid against a damp but comfortable mossy boulder; finally taking a physical and mental inventory. With the searing pain in my open wounds and my inability to catch my breath through clogged lungs, I didn’t even notice the buzzing in my pocket.

  You made it to Chapter 2—thank you so much for reading!

  The writathon gave me the perfect push to finally start this story, and it means the world to have you along for the ride. I’d love to hear your thoughts—criticism, praise, questions, or wild predictions are all welcome.

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  P.S. I’m officially commissioning the How to Eat a Dinosaur book cover soon—I can’t wait to show you what’s cooking!