’’How are your symptoms?’’ Sophia asked cautiously while slowly riding on their horses side by side on a narrow road. She could feel the air becoming peculiarly thinner than what her lungs were typically used to, drying her nostrils with cold despite the spring turning into summer, unmistakably reaching near the northern corners of Agathen.

  Sophia kept an eye on Ren at all time, after all, each person remained an individual no matter what was known about the winter berries and their effects on a body. She couldn’t ignore any cough nor cold shiver that noticeably ran through his sturdy body. She had noticed Ren getting paler, greenish olive undertone coming through with eyes becoming sunken. He kept rolling the wounded shoulder from time to time. The effects of the poison were evident even on a man who'd gone through the most cold-blooded training on how to handle literal torture. Pain this slow and creeping felt different in comparison with the injury on his neck from the time of war. At that time, he spend days in a medicated state going in and out of consciousness. Now, he had no other choice but to fight the pain which got worse each hour, trying not to think about the peak of such discomfort if one could endure the poison for few more days to come.

  ’’Never been better.’’ Meant as a sarcastic remark Ren answered with a bitter aftertaste, forcing Sophia to sigh and shake her head entirely unamused. She sensed the threatened pride beneath that sentence, a man with his set of skills and impeccable track record unwilling to grasp the reality of a single bullet through the shoulder of all places being his possible final judgement.

  ’’We can’t sleep tonight either.’’ Sophia yawned while blinking away the tears of exhaustion, rims of her eyes gathering red, ’’Your complexion is already worsening, we cannot risk it.’’

  ’’I’m not new to this. Traveling with no rest, that is.’’ Ren answered as he leaned forward, this time to check up on her, ’’But you, Miss, don’t look too good yourself.’’

  ’’Have you just insulted me, Sir?’’ Sophia couldn’t help but huff out a short laughter, taken by surprise with his straightforwardness although she couldn’t argue—there definitely had been some better days.

  ’’Miss Dilamor.’’ Ren growled, ’’You did not sleep at all, did you?’’

  Of course he had to go and point out the obvious, and for some unknown reason it annoyed her. Sophia barely slept on the night when they were supposed to recharge for the journey ahead. An important breather for both of them in order to keep going without further complications. Ren probably felt worry only in case she collapsed and left him there to die alone, but if that was so, then he should've brought backup with him, she thought.

  Reaching the forest of Agrom as soon as possible meant sacrificing nearly all the unnecessary stops along the way, leaving them scrambling with what ever small moments of shut eye they could manage.

  ’’Was the tent not for your liking? Or were you uncomfortable because of my presence?’’ Ren threw the questions as if they were in a frigid, dreary interrogation room. His tone of voice beginning and ending a sentence not much different from the usual, yet something felt different regardless.

  ’’No— nothing like that.’’ Sophia’s forehead puckered with fine lines, surprised by the slight discreet worry underlining those spoken words, ’’The thing is— perhaps I just need some time to adjust.’’ She tightened her grip on the harness and kept the head low. She wanted to avoid the topic, looking everywhere else except towards him. Hoping he’d take the hint and leave the conversation be.

  ’’A routine? Or is it something to do with your surroundings?’’ Ren asked, clearly too oblivious to notice such fine hidden messages in between the lines. He seemed like the type of a person who’d take things as they come. Words, actions. Not leaving things to be guessed nor wrongly interpreted, ’’I’ve seen it happen countless of times among the soldiers. Even I couldn’t sleep well anywhere after I left home for the first time as a boy.’’ He did not drop the conversation letting it fall back into the pleased silence like Sophia had hoped, yet somehow it didn’t bother her as much as she had initially thought. Sophia nodded at first, then remembered the articles written about Commander Ren VonGehall and his many accomplishments. His after-I-left-home had been a result of joining a full-blown war over the Great Ocean of Guruld, and Sophia couldn’t quite compare the two, although what she’d witness the days prior might as well have been a beginning of one.

  ’’Your neck. Is that where you got your injury?’’ Sophia asked. In her head it came out more subtle, but as the words were out in the open, she unintentionally couldn’t help but notice sounding blunt and quite rough enough to make her cheeks lose color from embarrassment, ’’No, what I meant is—I did not mean to offend— I—’’

  ’’Yes.’’ Ren interrupted the incoherent, unnecessary attempt to safe the delivery of the innocent question, ’’You’re correct. An explosion that I, and many others, were a target of. As you can see, barely able to scrape us.’’ He continued with the usual steady, low voice, bending his neck long to show off. Hooded eyes looking down at her. Sophia wondered what mysterious thoughts went on inside his head, being able to say those things with a straight face as such. He’d gone through too much for one person to handle, yet he seemed to be sane and well put together as if non of it had an effect on him whatsoever. Where as Sophia dreaded to close her eyes at night, similarly to ten years ago, afraid of what she’d have to witness against those forlorn eyelids once given the time to imagine. It took her many nights back then as a child, and she wondered how long it would take this time. To feel sane, able to embrace the pain instead of letting it sternly claw her aching heart. Could she ever? It all felt so very helpless. The first time had been a miracle, undoubtedly thanks to Bill and Marié and everyone she met along the way. Had she been all alone, had Bill not taken her in slowly embracing his role as a grandfather, who knew what the outcome would've been.

  But this time felt different.

  How many more drastic catastrophes would wait in the future? Things she could not control nor predict. How many times left to mend herself whole again? How many times could she be able to face leaving her home behind and those she loved so dearly.

  Sophia Dilamor wondered.

  Perhaps she would reject ever calling a place home again.

  Perhaps a home had become a jinx.

  And that is how her mind spiraled.

  ’’I’m sorry.’’ Sophia whispered, knowing he must’ve lost many in that very same battlefield yet there she was reminding him of it. And by an explosion out of all. Those had become strangely more common over the resent years. Many new weapons being made to destroy in the name of peace and honor with a heavy cost.

  ’’Fine then, if you truly are so sorry. In return, tell me why you couldn’t sleep.’’ Ren asked as he rolled the wounded shoulder once again, this time also squeezing the bicep below.

  A swallow got stuck going down the throat from the sudden demand—Sophia hesitated. She wondered if he’d find her reasoning odd, childish even. Not that she cared much. Sophia simply wasn’t in the mood for being laughed at. On top of that, she couldn’t understand why her troubles of getting a shut eye would be even remotely interesting to a man like Ren. Of course, Ren stood naturally highly observant due to the life he’d lived, but to the point of such details it seemed a bit excessive.

  ’’I was born in The Kingdom Capital.’’ Sophia brushed the thick bristle of her calm horse who responded with a pleased flip of the pointy ears, ’’I lost my parents in the grave paper factory accident. Both of them were employees there at the time.’’

  ’’The fire ten years ago.’’ Ren echoed quietly, ’’I’m sorry— to hear that.’’

  ’’I ended up with my grandfather. A woodcutter.’’ Sophia smiled gently with clouded heavy eyes, ’’At first I had trouble falling asleep. Too many nightmares. Always the same one. I dreaded closing my eyes for them. I remembered my mother's dear habit. And realized it was exactly what I needed to keep the dreams away. Looks like even after all those years, I might still need the same comfort. I can’t seem to be able to keep my eyes shut.’’ Sophia huffed and turned her head away from Ren’s gaze closely studying her. It had been a very long time since she’d discussed the topic, those nearly crumbling flowers being such a fundamental, normal part of her life since forever. But she could only imagine what a Commander of The Royal Military would think of such obsessions—interestingly enough for some reason, his opinion seemed to mean something after all. There would be no other reason for her to feel so self-conscious. Why else would she feel the need to avoid. A woman who did not care about what others thought, suddenly cared a whole lot.

  The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  ’’What was it? The habit which brought you comfort?’’ Ren asked, instead. Sophia turned her head in a whim, green eyes hit with the glowing sunlight bringing out the golden hour in the center of them.

  ’’That’s— dried flowers.’’ She answered just as bewildered, ’’My mother used to keep each and every bouquet my father brought from our trips to a forest where we’d regularly go and study. And she’d hung them up from the ceiling to dry. It was a sky of flowers above, our home.’’ The last part made her eyebrows twitch with sudden hurt from using a past tense. It still did. After all those years.

  ’’The lingering sweet scent. So that’s what it was.’’ Ren murmured as if not meant for her ears, and Sophia did not bother asking him to repeat himself, ’’Why do you look embarrassed? Is what I do not understand. Did you think I would dare to demean you for something like that?’’ He couldn’t help but smirk, ’’I simply slept bad because I hated anything else except my own bed. Your reason is true, if one needs to be.’’ He shrugged as if what he had said was common sense, because to him it was. Ren VonGehall saw no reason to let the actual reason be known for those endless sleepless nights as a young man dealing with the effects of a disastrous war. She did not need to know.

  And because of his halfhearted, unexpectedly easygoing reaction in comparison to his usual demeanor, Sophia found herself just as daringly laughing against her own arm unable to control the sudden burst. Absolutely clear, even she could realize, how he attempted to lighten up the mood. Obvious how both of them were equally as bad at trying to conceal their true intentions and thoughts in a world where a mask to hide behind would come handy once in a while.

  ’’I don’t see anything wrong with your reason, either.’’ Sophia wiped away the tears yet couldn’t stop giggling, sniffling her nose with all the mixed emotions becoming one. As if the conversation came in a dire moment of need. With a person whom she least excepted to have compassionate conversations with. Perhaps them clashing with those many immense differences between weren’t as far apart as it initially seemed.

  Sophia Dilamor. More than a small-town girl obsessed with the natures offerings.

  And Ren VonGehall. Man more than a noble, stern war hero.

  Ren groaned as he moved a burning pile of branches in a campfire. They had gathered rocks in a circle to create a proper lasting fire safely guarded as Sophia had insisted. Ren asked no questions and got to work after noticing Sophia already beginning without him. Surprised by her survival knowledge, Sophia reminded him of whose granddaughter she’d been and what lessons would one learn being raised by an old woodcutter. They had reached the edge of forest Agrom with mostly tall, skinny trees’ and low moss and grass and shrubs. The forest seemed eerily empty and hallow with the colors sucks away from what Sophia had been used to. Lifeless despite. The ground endless and nearly flat all around.

  From time to time, Ren would grit his teeth creating a tight vein on the side of his jaw line. When that happened, Sophia learned him to be suppressing a sudden burst of pain somewhere and knew to be more on edge until the vein softened away. On other times he’d close his eyes with a single line between the eyebrows, remaining like that for a few seconds. On those moments Sophia learned him to be waiting out a wave on nausea. She kept observing meticulously each and every change in his behavior, worry increasing each time she learned something new. He cannot go on like this much longer, I need to hurry since we’re here— she thought.

  Around the flickering light of the crackling fire, Sophia took out her leather notebook and found a specific page. Her gaze sharp, pinching the lower lip between two fingers she went through the text, eyes following from left to right on a steady pace. Sophia had estimated the time right, as Ren’s symptoms got worse precisely like clockwork. Only one symptom left on the checklist, one she did not want to reach.

  ’’You’re deep in thoughts.’’ Ren leaned the elbow of the wounded side against his thigh, crushing the bicep with prominent deep purple veins on top of his hand and arm even more noticeable against the sickly pale skin, nails nearly breaking through. A distraction. There were hollow darkness beneath his amber eyes. The honey warmth drained away. His lips had lost all the color and cold sweat could be seen glimmer on each movement of the fire between them.

  And Sophia knew they had no time to waste.

  ’’Luckily I’ve written down detailed information and instructions from the medicine book. Too bad I don’t have it with me, though.’’ Sophia did not take her eyes off the pages, ’’We need to keep the fire going. I think we should start by looking for the flowers here first. We’ve only just arrived, and we’re not deep inside the forest but this seems like a perfect ground for them to grow. Next step is to soak a handful of the petals in a kettle of a specific amount of water, I measured three cups as I was making research, until the water starts to boil and let it simmer for exactly ten minutes until the color changes. When the liquid is at a safe temperature it should become thicker. We need to add the thickened essence and the softened petals inside the wound, and wrap under a bondage. I specifically remember reading that it’ll be a very unpleasant experience so I should apologize in advance. What’s left to do is wait for the medicine from the petals to do their job over night.’’ Sophia instructed herself out loud without as much as an inhale though the ramble, still fondling with the lower lip nearly creating a split from the anxiety. She needed to get it right with one go. No second tries. No second chances. The timing of each step and measurements needed to be precise, and she wouldn’t settle on anything else.

  ’’I knew I made the right choice.’’ Ren’s eyes were half shut, his body slumped on the wounded side, ’’Bringing—you—’’

  Sophia noticed his speech going slurred and dropped the notebook on the ground. What she found was Ren laying on his side on the ground, blood running through his nose giving the nauseous greenish pale skin a haunting contrast. At last, the last step which Sophia had feared had made its undesirable appearance. Sophia wasted no time as she rushed on his side while screaming his name before realizing the dire situation was worse than she had thought. There were blood on the inner side of his lips, suggesting he’d recently coughed blood already. All while she had been too immersed in preparations, she’d missed the crucial indicator of time slipping through his fingers.

  ’’Please, Sir. I beg of you.’’ Sophia felt the urgency as she pleaded while placing her cold fingers on the sides of his cheeks to see any flinch of hope, ’’You can’t, please stay awake. I— I still need to find the flowers— I haven’t even began to—’’ She looked around frantically. All the different shades of nothing.

  ’’I— I’ll come right back, I promise. I’ll look for them. Please, stay a little longer.’’ Sophia got up and covered him beneath the uniform coat which had given her much needed shelter along their way. She had to choose the direction in a whim, not having any idea of where to find what she was looking for while running out of their little to no time left.

  The winter flowers loved cold, thus Sophia ran as fast as she could looking from the areas with the most trees’ growing densely side by side since the sun would not be able to touch the ground, offering the perfect circumstances for them to grow with ease.

  Sophia could feel her legs going tired by each moment but kept pushing. She could go quite far before losing the sight of their campfire thus did not have to worry about getting lost. The summer evening was still well lit but she’d be losing daylight each passing moment, making her task that much harder the longer the treasure hunt kept going.

  Sophia felt like she wasted each crucial second aimlessly searching. She felt the clock ticking without mercy, the panic starting to make her ears ring and chest heavy. The thin fabric of the cheap tunic began to stick against her skin from sweat, and while looking around she let out a frustrated groan, took a step back when all of a sudden the heel of her shoes which Ren had ordered the soldiers to prepare as they visited the Town’s Hall still back in Lufin, got stuck between elevated roots of a tree and Sophia felt all her weight being pulled behind— but instead of immediately meeting the ground after falling on her back like she’d expected, she fell through a shrub and kept going, rolling down a small hill with rapid abrupt yelps, the horrible tense feeling of not knowing how long the fall would last and unable to make sense of the spiraling surroundings, until her body stopped just as promptly after reaching the bottom.

  Groaning in pain she placed her palms against the chilly ground beneath her, smelled the wet grass and tried to move. Thankfully, nothing seemed to be broken but she couldn’t be sure. Her body could be working on a rush of adrenaline for all she knew. While pressing her lips tight together, Sophia began to rise up, long golden hair decorated with sticks and dirt, her tunic ripped, when just a hint on her left she noticed the large round purple berries and the charming flowers with a hint of crimson on the petals. As if waiting for her to come and find them, peacefully not even swaying from the still evening losing its sunlight.

  With the new found boost in energy, Sophia began to pick as much as she could from the stems, leaving the berries behind, breathing heavy and holding in the tears of relief as she shoved them in the pockets of her long tunic. She needed two fistfuls as estimated from the carefully calculated equations. Two fistfuls should do. That is all the math she had time for.

  And just as she was about to dig her fingers on the ground and climb up the small hill—a low growl as if coming from deep underground—daunting and intimidating—could be heard right behind Sophia’s frozen still frame.

  Sending eerie shivers through her already aching spine.

  ─?~???~?─