Who is the real me?

  The one who gave up everything to conform to the unfair reality set upon the dictators whom I call my "family"?

  Or the one who defies the pressures and live the life I want?

  For many years, I've been trapped in an unending loop of despair and uncertainty. I couldn't enjoy anything I wanted because my father saw me as a weak successor of a business I had no interest in. I couldn't be happy with my brother and sister putting me down at every chance they got. And there was no safe place for me to get away with my bullies stalking me at every corner at school and the threat of punishments set in my room.

  There was no way out for me. No one would save me.

  Everything that represented me was taken by greedy vultures. I have nothing left.

  So what am I supposed to live for at all?

  There is nothing. You have nothing left.

  But there is something I should do.

  The only option is to disappear. Nobody cares about you if you're gone, right? No one will steal everything you earned. You're not pressured with anything. Why don't you give up and stop trying?

  Maybe... Then maybe... There is no po-

  Why am I still listening to you?

  What did you say?

  You heard me. Why am I still listening to your bullshit? You're telling me to give up, but not telling me why without trying once?

  Because there is nothing left. How could you find hope when all they can do is take it away? Whatever you do, there is no way out.

  But that's not what I see. Everything I saw so far was the exact opposite.

  But that boy who stole your body... He will take everything just like your parents and siblings were. He's no different to the vultures who ruined your life.

  That's not true. It seemed like it looked that way when I saw him walking up to my body.

  However, his actions were not hurting me and taking away Umbaria and our pretend store.

  Rather, he's trying to cheer me up even if I'm not there.

  "What are you doing, Vander?"

  I stopped writing while lying down on the old bench and looked up to see Umbaria above me. "What does it look like? I'm leaving a message to Aster."

  "A message? In a diary?" Umbaria asked. "What an odd method you came up with?"

  "You said he's another me, right? Then I doubt I can talk to him face to face if he lives inside me." I put down my pen and sighed. "Still, I'm frustrated about it. I felt his anger and frustration whenever I woke up and that feeling grew worse and worse with each passing day. What's worse is that I can't do anything to help him escape his situation."

  "You can try popping up and stand up for him," she suggested. "Compared to both of you, you're the bravest when it comes to facing against jerks like his parents and siblings."

  "But the real question is will they take me seriously in this body? I barely recall anything about his family and I don't need to see them to know how messed up they are. I feel so useless doing nothing but staying here to make Aster better. It's not right in my book."

  "But you can't also force him out or make yourself known so soon, Vander. Who knows what would happen if you appeared like a ghost without any warning? I do not know your unique condition, but I know how sensitive Aster is right now. If you really want to help him, then you should hold it off or slowly introduce yourself along the way. If you do the latter, I'll see what I can do to help you."

  Help me? That's an odd offer. How could she help me with a guy who's actually another part of me? Sure, she accepted me when I came out of nowhere and she seemed very supportive of Aster before I existed. But what could she possibly do to make him stop hiding like a coward?

  Still, her help was appreciated and it's better than doing nothing.

  "A new friend?"

  Umbaria nodded with a smile while I was eating candy with her. "Yep! His name is Vander and he's the same age as you. He will be playing as a security guard for our pretend shop starting tomorrow. You might miss him a lot because of his schedule and he's a bit of a jock, but I'm sure you two will get along very well!"

  I dryly chuckle at the news, considering I just got out after my bullies dunked my head in the toilet again earlier. "Right... I doubt that would happen. Besides, how can a kid like me get along with him so easily?"

  "Why not? You and Vander have much more in common than you thought. If you want, you can try chatting with him."

  "Chat how?" I narrowed my eyes. "Like you said, I might miss him a lot in here. So how can I meet someone who I can barely have time to see?"

  I expected her to answer something crazy like playing another game to get to know a new guy that she said I couldn't meet. But to my surprise, she instead gave me some kind of a purple notebook. Looking closely, it looked like any other normal notebook except the front cover had the words "COMMUNICATION JOURNAL" scribbled in black marker.

  "Then use this! It's a special journal Vander prepared for you. Just think of it like a smartphone, except you write your text messages in pen and paper," Umbaria explained. "This way, you two can talk to each other without meeting in person. Plus, it's much better writing messages like those old-fashioned letters."

  I stare at the notebook with my eyebrow raised. "Journal? Don't you mean a diary?"

  Umbaria just chuckled at my response. "Whatever you call it doesn't matter to me. Just know its purpose here is to help you communicate with Vander rather than waiting for him or asking for his number. He's not much of a private guy, but this is a lot more interesting than texting."

  I sighed... Whatever this Vander guy wanted, he better not mess with me. I already had a bad day and I didn't want him to tease me like Umbaria.

  Despite my fears, they didn't come to pass. Rather, he became more of a supporter than a new jock guy to me.

  ...Yeah. I remember now.

  I remember how he read through my rants in the journal the next day and told me I should ignore them, saying that my bullies were harassing me for attention and to feel stronger than me. I was confused by his words at first. But after I asked him about it and answered, I slowly understood them. I spent many years so scared at their beatings and insults that I fell for their words and gave up trying to fight. It wasn't enough to help me stand up against those jerks, but enough for me to wonder why was I scared shitless for my whole life.

  Stolen novel; please report.

  I also remembered I didn't stop using the journal just to talk to Vander, even if I didn't meet him in person. Despite my suspicions of him, I couldn't help but want to talk to him a bit more. I remembered Umbaria was right about him, how we share something in common. From our favorite TV cartoons to snacks... It felt like I was not afraid to share everything about myself and in return, Vander shared everything about himself.

  I still didn't know who Vander was. I was still suspicious of him and yet, he helped me lift all of my burdens of frustration, pressure, and darkness from my heart.

  It's a trick! That boy tried to be friends with you so he could hurt you!

  Then why do I feel calm when I hear his name? Why am I not scared just recalling these forgotten memories?

  Those so-called traumatic memories of my "colleagues", "family", and "friends" were nothing compared to them!

  THEY ARE FAKE! THEY ARE NOTHING MORE THAN TEMPTATIONS OF THE DEMON!!!

  If you're sure these memories are fake, then what are the ones I have now?

  My "boss" and "colleagues" drained everything I had...

  My "family" threw me like trash even after I worked hard to earn my keep!

  Just what is "real"?! Which one of my memories is truly mine?

  I don't know... But I know those messed-up memories weren't mine. I know I have more good memories than bad...

  I have to know... I need to know who I am!

  Do you truly want to know, young boy?

  Huh? Who's that?

  I quickly turned around and saw...

  "I can help you alleviate your troubles away."

  A strange man with hair as pitch black as Umbaria's said as I sat in the middle of a dark forest. I don't know how or why I'm here, but I feel like I'm here for an important reason. Like I was connected to this place I couldn't recognize. It was confusing, yet at the same time, comforting that I was alone without my family or friends pestering me.

  "How can you say that when this is the first time we met?" I asked. "Are you Umbaria's dad?"

  "Umbaria's...dad?" To my surprise, the man started chuckling. "What makes you think I'm her father?"

  I raise my eyebrow. He kinda looked like her with his hair and his black clothes. The only different thing was his red eyes, but that's beside the point. "She barely mentioned about her family. I'm guessing it's because she doesn't want to hurt my feelings just like my bullies, gloating they had a better family than mine. Feels like she's still mocking me in some way though."

  I noticed the man humming while staring at me. "I don't know much about your personal life. But I can guess from your words alone that you have some issues with your parents, correct?"

  I huffed. "It's not only my parents. My brother and sister always pester me because they're Mom and Dad's favorites while I'm stuck in the rut, saying that I don't deserve any toys or games because I'm dead last. But Umbaria also said that they don't even care to see my worth or something. They only cared about themselves and never for me. So I don't know who's right or wrong. I barely knew Umbaria, but she really helped me out with my problems. The same with a guy named Vander. I barely met him in person, but all of those messages he said were comforting, too. In the end, everyone except my family and bullies cared about me, yet I don't know if they did it because of me and my problems."

  I turned to the man again after making my reductant rant. "Do you...also cared about me? All because of my family and bullies?"

  I look away from the man. At this point, I didn't care about his answer. None of it would be enough to give me a reason to keep living.

  My parents... The bullies... How long should I endure this life? I don't want to keep living like this! I just want to run away from them and keep playing with Umbaria forever and ever! I don't want to leave that shop! This wasn't the life I wanted. If only I could stay... If only I could be friends with Umbaria and Vander much longer... Then I have a good reason to live in this stupid world!

  "If you truly wish for a new life, then why don't you come live with me in my mansion?"

  Live...with a stranger in his mansion?

  I'm not sure about this. Everyone kept telling me not to talk to strangers. So why am I going to believe a strange man in the middle of a forest?

  "I can't promise a better life as you wish. But I assure you, I have a feeling that your existence alone is greatly needed in this world. Maybe that's why you bravely appeared in this dark world I lived in." He then reached his hand to me. "Do you have a name, young man?"

  I didn't tell him anything. Again, I couldn't trust a stranger and there was no way I could tell me my name!

  "Huh? A fiery child, aren't you? Very well, if you want your privacy, then I won't force you." He then stood up without grabbing my hand. "My name is (#($@) *$*@$. If you truly wish for a new life, then come with me. I will give you what you need and you will decide what you want later."

  What... I need...

  I'm still skeptical, yet he never raised his voice like my father. I couldn't help but follow him not out of curiosity...

  But because he offered me something that I desperately needed now: Someone to care for me.

  No, he's not. He's a kidnapper! You shouldn't trust him!

  But he never forced me to follow him. I thought it was a mistake. But I know he came to me for a reason. I know he was trying to save me from dying in the middle of the forest. He saved me from the fate my parents wanted. I followed him all because he simply showed me love and care.

  The fate...my parents wanted... Is that even right?

  My parents and siblings neglected me, but they just pushed me to get better grades.

  But I also recalled they abandoned me in a dark forest.

  Something wasn't right. Why am I remembering different memories? They seemed to be different settings, yet familiar to me. Were they fake just like the others?

  "I don't think so, young man."

  I quickly screamed just as I heard that man's voice behind me. When I turned around, I gasped to see the very same man in a black suit appearing behind me despite I saw him leaving the memory version of my childhood self. "Y-You can see me?!"

  "I simply became aware of you the moment you grow closer to the truth," the man answered. "I can tell you still have that annoying bug on you. But I can already see a bit of determination on your face that you're ready to face the shocking truth."

  I raised my eyebrow as I questioned his words. "The truth? The truth about what?"

  The man smiled at me. "The truth behind your transformation and rebirth."

  My...transformation? Rebirth? I don't know what that guy was on about!

  "You have to remember the order of events. Right now, you're inside your memories, trying to reorganize everything while removing the memories that were left from the implants. You were never a young man drowned in pure misery. You never have memories of your later life beyond your childhood. Think, young man. Why are your memories so inconsistent after you met the young girl you called Umbaria?"

  Why... Why indeed...

  I thought I had a horrible life because that's what I recalled from my memories. Then I learned my memories were fake, yet the only truth was still the fact that my parents, siblings, and bullies were haunting me in my childhood. But this doesn't make any sense. If everything is fake, then what is the truth?

  Who...am I?

  "...er."

  Huh? Was that...my voice?

  "Pardon?" The man in the memory asked and stopped walking.

  I watched my younger self open his mouth and uttered a few sentences. "Vander... My name is Vander."

  Vander... That name again... This time, in a strange setting like this...

  "What happened to your privacy, kid? Did you change your mind about it?"

  "N-No... But Aster told me I should trust you if we're going to stay with you for the night."

  ...What.

  "Aster?" The man looked around before turning back to him. "Are they your imaginary friend?"

  "Sort of... He only appeared as a voice in my head. But everyone in my village said he's a demon..."

  Demon? Voice? But... I'm Aster! There's no way...

  No way...

  ...

  But could it...

  "It seems like you've made a realization, young man."

  I... I do...

  The reason why the only real memory I had... is because I don't have any more beyond that.

  No, that's false!

  And Vander... He is me. Yet, I am him. We're the same, but we're not.

  He is not you! He's a demon, just like everyone said!

  And the reason why is...

  NO, DON'T LISTEN TO THAT BASTARD!!!

  "Vander is you in another world and he is you in yours. Yet the other exists in another."

  Two counterparts, two minds.

  I...

  We're...connected.

  We exist as Twin Minds.

  [You have achieved true rebirth.]