I watched Ambrose raise his head from the bed, his gaze locking onto me as I slumped against the wall, utterly spent. I made no effort to move, my body drained from tapping into a form of magic I hadn’t needed since the Fall. He struggled to lift himself off the bed and onto his feet, his trembling legs carrying his exhausted form to the empty spot on the wall next to me. The house shook as he crumpled to the hardwood floor, the sound echoing in the stillness of the room.

  I didn’t need to be a Ruhig Fae to feel the shame building inside of him—the shame of losing control and causing harm. I took his hand in mine, squeezing gently to convey without words that I was here and I understood. I turned my head towards him and watched as his bottom lip trembled, as if it were his body’s final attempt to secure the floodgates holding back the tears. I reached my hand behind his head and pulled him into my embrace, cradling his head as gently as I would a newborn, feeling the warmth of his sorrow seeping into me.

  Ambrose didn’t take long to release the tears, desperately trying to escape. No words would make him feel better, so I let the gentle strokes of my hand through his hair speak for me. His arms found a temporary home wrapped tightly around my torso, his body trembling in unison with his sobs—the only sound piercing through the thick silence that had crept up on us. I felt ridiculous. I hadn’t had a meaningful connection with anyone in longer than I could remember. Navigating others’ emotions felt like a foreign language, but I was starting to understand it again with every cry and sniffle that escaped him.

  Ambrose’s tears slowed, and his body ceased trembling. He pushed away from me, leaning his head firmly against the wall behind him, a blank expression clouding his eyes. I started pulling a loose thread at the bottom of my nightgown, watching it grow longer and longer, snagging the rest of the fabric until I gave a singular hard tug, and the thread broke free from the garment.

  “Tell me how it felt. How it felt when you met them.”

  He didn’t need to explain. I knew he was referring to my eternal pair. “There’s so much more to the story before I find them, Ambrose,” I mumbled, my voice barely above a whisper as I continued to pull at the fraying fabric, my thoughts heavy with regret.

  “Fine then, tell me more about how the Queen made you lie about your eternal pair. That must have been so hard, denying the person you truly loved,” he pressed, his curiosity burning bright.

  Without thought or hesitation, the truth escaped from my lips. “The hardest part was regretting how easy it was.”

  -------

  My fingers trembled as I followed Lady Nerezza away from the chambers, still haunted by the image of Nami’s lifeless body and what would become of her. Would they bury her, allowing her flesh to feed our lands? Would they burn her, destroying the evidence of my wrongdoing? Or would they sink her body in the ocean as her people practiced? All I knew for sure was that there would be no one there whose heart would bleed for her as they laid her to rest. Instead, she would be buried by strangers in a foreign land. She deserved more.

  Her fading eyes haunted my mind, plaguing all my thoughts and preventing me from thinking of anything except the pain she must have felt. I kept questioning her final thoughts, and it shattered my heart when I realized she could only be thinking of one thing—the betrayal of her eternal pair.

  My mind immediately shifted to the command the Queen gave me, the command to lay false claim to her son and be unfaithful to the gods and the pairing they made for me. I had already made my choice. There was only one way I could proceed to save my only family. I had to lie. Lie in front of the highest Fae houses in the eight realms before the goddess who gifted me her power—Gaia herself.

  Yet even with all the consequences, I could only choose my mother. For the past eight years, she had spent her days confined to her chambers beneath the castle floors. They isolated her from any plant or animal life to stop her from communicating for help to other Kewans in the area. Not that they would be able to get through the formidable defenses of the castle. Even though my mother suffered because of me, her favor never wavered from me, and I had to do everything in my power to protect her. My mother was real. I could pretend for now that my eternal pair wasn’t real. It was just another dream I had to forfeit.

  My heels continued to click against the floor as we walked the remainder of the way to my dressing chambers. I stared at her bouncing raven hair, which was pulled back into a long ponytail with small braids and purple ribbons—another nod to her heritage. I wondered how she came to work for the Queen. Akana Fae were extremely rare. I was more shocked that the Arcanum court allowed her to serve the Amatharan royal family.

  “Sit,” Lady Nerezza’s command pulled me from my endless thoughts.

  I followed where her finger pointed and rested in the chair of my vanity. I expected her to call for my handmaidens, but she didn’t. Instead, she grabbed the makeup applicators herself and bent down beside me, gently wiping away the evidence of my tears.

  “You must be overjoyed. It must be undeniable,” Lady Nerezza whispered as she continued to pamper me, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

  My eyebrows raised, “Lady Nerezza, I’m not sure I understand.”

  “When you claim Prince Briar is your eternal pair, it must be the performance of your life if you want to convince the High Houses,” she stated plainly, her eyes narrowing with expectation.

  We sat silently for a few moments while she gently painted my skin. I feared she would be angry that I had no response, but no punishment came—just her gentle touch. She did my makeup lighter than my handmaidens, making me feel more like myself instead of the image the Queen wanted to present.

  “I do not envy you, Juniper.” She broke the silence, her voice softer now. “I may envy your power, but this is a fate I wish on no one.”

  I was confused by the unarmored Lady Nerezza being presented to me. I had never received anything from her other than coldness. I decided to meet her with the same openness. “And what of your eternal pair?” I asked wholeheartedly.

  “We were happy for a time,” a soft smile rose, something I had never seen before, but it was quickly replaced by the same stern look. “But they are with the gods again.” She lifted her wrist and rubbed at her skin, removing the milky white paste on that section of her skin, revealing the Mark of Mirtis. A small black tear-shaped mark appeared on one's skin when their eternal pair's soul was in the Realm of the Gods, waiting to be reborn.

  Without hesitation, I turned towards her and threw my arms around her neck. Despite everything she had done to me, regardless of all the disdain I may have held in my heart for her, I could feel her pain. She was still Fae. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. Her hands embraced me momentarily, but she quickly pushed me away. She held her hands on my shoulders, her purple eyes staring into mine. “As am I,” she responded, her voice heavy with shared sorrow.

  As quickly as her soft nature appeared, it was gone. She immediately went back to touching up my face without another word uttered between us. Instead, my eyes were trained on the sad mark on her skin that she hid beneath her makeup daily. I wondered how long it would be until that mark would be on my skin. How long could they hide from the Queen's scheming?

  Lady Nerezza lifted me from the chair, gently holding both of my hands as she guided me from my chambers. I let out one last sharp breath before passing through the doors, knowing that there was no going back once I did this.

  She guided me to the large stone doors of the ballroom. I could hear all the commotion inside—all of this for me. There was so much laughter and joy emanating from the room in front of me, such a dichotomy from the truth of my feelings, but I had a part to play in preventing the Queen's wrath. It wasn’t just my mother I feared for. I feared for the entire Realm, knowing everything I knew about what she was capable of.

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  Lady Nerezza nodded to the guards, and a green glow emanated from their hands as the door slowly swung open. The sounds of the heavy stone silenced the ballroom filled with Fae dressed in their best clothes. I stepped forward and centered myself in the doorway as we practiced.

  “The Lady Juniper Leora Blumen, Gaia's chosen descendant, and Fullvalda!” The steward's voice echoed over the entire room.

  At the completion of my introduction, I stepped toward the curved staircase in front of me. I carefully placed one foot in front of the other as I descended the stairs in my heels, which I had yet to master, while also avoiding stepping on the pools of fabric from my gown. With each step, I felt the weight of my responsibility building up on my shoulders, but I never let my posture waver. Instead, my nerves built up as I looked at all the faces before me. Lords and Ladies I used to deliver meals to as a child were kneeling before me with their fists pressed firmly against their hearts. Even the Kings and Queens of other Realms in attendance were kneeling, acknowledging that not even they were above the power of the Gods.

  My feet followed the exact paces we had practiced a hundred times, leaving nothing to chance. The crowd parted as I cut through the ballroom with purpose. My steps grew quicker to end this formality faster. I halted a few paces before the kneeling King and Queen of my Realm and lowered myself into a curtsy, holding my head bowed until the King rose. King Rowen stepped down and took my hand, kissing gently on the backside. He guided me up the steps and stood next to me as we looked down on all the kneeling nobility.

  “Today, we are saved!” the King announced before the crowd, his voice booming with authority.

  “We are saved!” the crowd echoed back as they rose to their feet, a wave of relief washing over them.

  “On this day sixteen years ago, our Fullvalda was returned to us. Our Juniper was born. Today we celebrate her growth and recognize her elevation in status.” He turned to the High Abhyasi, protector of our Faith, and nodded his head.

  The Abhyasi stepped forward, holding a chalice in one hand and Gaia’s blade in the other. “In this chalice is water from the highest point of Mount Malum, the closest place in any of our Realms to the Gods. By drinking this, Juniper accepts her responsibility as the Fullvalda, protector of the Realms. Do you accept this responsibility?” he asked, his voice steady and commanding.

  “I do,” I said without hesitation, my voice unwavering despite the storm of emotions swirling within me.

  The High Abhyasi lifted the chalice to my lips, and I sipped the icy cold waters, the liquid sending a shiver down my spine. Once I had finished, he stepped back, and only then did I notice the gold glow emanating from me. I looked down at my veins, and the shining gold color of my magic was piercing through my skin.

  “By drawing blood from her veins with Gaia’s blade, she binds her blood with the Goddess and all the Fullvalda that came before her. In doing so, you accept the responsibility of guarding the knowledge locked inside the ancient Fullvalda texts and using that knowledge for the betterment of the Realm. Do you accept this responsibility?”

  “I do,” I repeated, my voice steady, though my heart raced with uncertainty.

  He stepped over with the golden blade. I studied the letters in the language of the Gods carved into it as he placed the cold metal into my hand. I read the letters carefully, transcribing

  Gaia’s hidden message:

  Only ones of my blood will know the true cost of life.

  I traced my fingers over the delicately carved letters, mesmerized by the dagger’s sharpness. It felt as though it could cut through stone with ease. When I held it, it felt like a hundred souls were trapped inside, and I could feel the energy being released. When my hands connected with the metal, the gold rushing through my veins strengthened, causing anyone looking at me to cover their eyes.

  As the energy rushing through me dulled, the High Abhyasi looked at the sun through the large windows, waiting for the exact time of day I was born. All Fullvalda since the creation of the Realms have been born exactly when the sun is at its apex, so they constructed a small hole in the ballroom floor that perfectly lined up with that time. Again, I looked at the Abhyasi, and he nodded his head as the sun’s rays reached the perfect spot.

  I turned to face all the Fae in front of me and raised the blade to the palm of my other hand. I pressed the metal against my skin, hesitating briefly as my eyes connected with Leo’s. He smiled when our eyes met, calming my growing nerves. With that slight reassurance, I pulled the blade quickly from my hand, the immediate sting causing me to flinch as it cut deeper than I expected. I watched as a gold liquid pooled from my hand, and as it collected on the floor, it turned back to the deep red it was meant to be.

  A few moments later, I felt a strange sensation in my back. Lady Nerezza described how my wings would first appear, but I never imagined it would feel like this. A strange tickling feeling came over me as I became almost weightless, and that’s when I realized my feet were no longer resting on the floor. I looked behind me, and a set of beautiful gold wings glittered behind me, shimmering like sunlight on water.

  “Our protector has returned to us!” the High Abhyasi announced, his voice ringing with pride.

  I looked out at all the faces in awe. Some were praying, some were just staring, but all had their attention locked on me. I wished the ceremony had ended here, but everyone around me knew what happened next. It is customary at the celebration of a Fae’s sixteenth birthday to have a first dance where they are meant to dance with every Fae who has yet to find their eternal pair. The Revelyn.

  I closed my eyes and envisioned my wings disappearing and my feet gently landing on the floor, and when I opened my eyes, I returned to my normal form. The High Abhyasi wrapped a cloth around the wound on my hand to help stop the bleeding as soon as I was on the ground again.

  Without a word, the musicians started to play a song from one of my many dance lessons. I stepped down from the platform the royal family was presiding over and into the now cleared center of the ballroom. A young man dressed in tan and orange robes stepped forward. I studied his face, recognizing it from my studies. He was from Nephele, the Realm of Air and Wind under their God Tyrece. The man that I started dancing with was the son of their King’s highest advisor.

  We bowed to each other and placed our hands together. I followed the routine steps to the music but felt nothing in his presence, so I quickly switched partners. My next match was a young man wearing a black suit with red crystal detailing. I also recognized his face from my studies—Lord Tharos Ashmere, a High Lord of the Fintan court, the Realm of Fire, under the God Vulcan. His jet-black hair and deep auburn eyes were mesmerizing, but he was not my eternal pair.

  I continued to switch partners, meeting many Lords and Ladies and a few members of royal families who had yet to find their eternal pair. I was switching off with a young Lady from Amathara when I turned and faced my next partner—Leo.

  His golden hair was shining underneath the direct sunlight. I hesitated before letting our hands connect. A part of me wanted the man in front of me to be my savior. I wanted to feel the connection that so many described as pure bliss, but again I felt nothing. He smiled at me gently as he raised his wrist to me, wiping away a skin-colored paste to reveal the Mark of Mirtis.

  My eyes met his. “Why would you dance with me then?” I asked, avoiding looking at the dreaded mark.

  He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “Our souls may not be bound, but that does not mean I will leave you friendless here.” I felt at peace in his presence and was grateful for his kindness—a pleasure I was not granted amidst all the lavish things I was given.

  “My eternal pair died very young. The mark appeared on my skin when I was a child. My father chose to hide it, so as to not allow our bloodline to look in jeopardy,” he said, ignoring my gaze. He never even met this poor girl, and I could feel the pain he felt for her.

  Before I was given a chance to respond, he spun away from me, and my next partner stood before me—Prince Briar. I gulped as I prepared to lie about something as sacred as this in front of all these people. I would be disgraced if they were to know that I willingly lied about such a thing. I met Briar’s light brown eyes, and he smirked as he raised his hand.

  I paused, standing motionless as I readied myself. I lifted my hand to his, and as we practiced, a green glow emanated from his hand, mixing with the gold I summoned from mine. I looked up at him with the most genuine smile I could force. Then, without words, I watched as he summoned his faint green wings, which fell gracefully behind him. I followed, calling forth my wings. He took my hand in his and wrapped his other firmly behind my back. He whisked me off my feet, and we floated above all the Fae still standing on the ground.

  The room was full of Fae looking up at us in awe. All I could think about was if they believed me. Was I convincing enough? Before I had a second longer to study the faces beneath me, Briar gently pulled my chin so I was looking directly at him.

  “Only focus on me, Juniper,” he spoke softly.

  I let him guide me through the air as we twirled above the ground. I held tightly onto his shoulders, enjoying the comfort of his arms wrapped around me. I caught myself daydreaming of what this would have felt like with my actual eternal pair. I closed my eyes and pulled his body closer to mine, taking in his warmth while resting my head on his chest. We stayed in the air for a few moments longer before I felt my feet collide with solid ground again. I pulled away from Briar and bowed to him, and he did the same. The moment we both rose, cheers erupted from the Fae all around us.

  -------

  “You must have felt terrible!” Ambrose interjected, his voice breaking through my reverie.

  “Honestly, it had been so long since I felt comfort that even his arms could feel like home temporarily.” I hated to admit it, but it was true. Even knowing the monster he was, I found comfort in being held by him, even if it was all a lie.

  Before I let him respond, I rose to my feet and held out a hand for him to take. “It appears we have a few more lessons about control you need.”