“Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.” ― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

  Not long after that, the oddest sensation swept over me. A quick pressure wave sweeping through my core, followed by a sudden alleviation of the pressure accompanied by an audible *Pop*. And suddenly, I was no longer alone in my core room with just a badger to keep me company.

  In a dim halo of sparkly blue light, a tiny humanoid figure appeared floating a meter or so from my core, little wings buzzing, but transparently just for effect. Maybe 10 cm tall, androgynous in appearance, with disproportionately large, glowing yellow eyes, pale skin, transparent wings somewhere between a dragonfly and a butterfly, and a sour attitude apparent from its expression and bearing, I was being visited by a classic fairy being.

  *Er... Hello?* I wasn’t sure how communication might work as a dungeon core, but I pushed some focused intent in its direction and hoped for the best after my failure with the ground squirrels. I wasn’t registering it as a threat, even though it seemed generally annoyed, so I figured politeness was called for. Can I ask who you are and what you want?

  It perked up a bit at that, with its posture easing a bit and some surprise fleetingly apparent on its face.

  *Oh, you’re fully aware and sapient! Wonderful! That makes this so much easier... You’d be surprised how many new dungeons just automatically try to eat me! My name is Aven Crystalspeck. I’ve been assigned to serve as your designated Dungeon Fairy. *

  You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

  If a stone could be said to goggle, that would probably be the best description for my reaction, I’m embarrassed to admit. My what now?

  Seeing sudden exasperation in the set of its mouth and the placement of its clawed fingers on its narrow hips, I tried to recover my composure.

  *Sorry, sorry. I’m afraid I don’t know what that role entails. Can you give me a rundown of what a Dungeon Fairy does?*

  Aven cocked its head at me curiously and smiled – sharp, pointy teeth suggesting an entirely carnivorous diet and a not entirely sincere good humor. *So polite! I think I’m going to like you! *

  *So, here’s the basic rundown. Dungeon Fairies are a specific kind of fairy, all reporting to a central court. We’re organized by our Queen, who reports directly to the God of All Dungeons. Each fairy is assigned to a set of dungeons as an information source and a design assistant. Essentially, my job is to help you accomplish your goals, whatever they might be. That’s obviously a lot easier to do with a dungeon like yourself, since you’re sapient and capable of actively working with me. Most dungeons act largely on instinct, though that allows us Dungeon Fairies to take a bit more in the way of direct control. I can’t help you with resources directly, but I can advise you on how to secure them, manage them, and plan ahead. I’ll ask you to share access to your status page in a moment, so that I can see what we’re working with. But before that, do you have any basic questions for me? Please keep in mind that I’m currently responsible for over 40 other dungeons, so my time will be a bit limited. I'm afraid we're all a bit overbooked these days* Aven's sardonic tone suggested that overworked and underpaid service professionals were a multiversal constant.

  I tried to marshal my thoughts. I had questions. Oh boy, did I have questions. That said, if its time was limited, I needed to focus on the critical elements.