Scene 1: A Dimly Lit Debate

  [Setting: The same bar as before, rich with the scent of wood polish and aged whiskey. Coincidence (God of Coincidence), Conundrum (God of Conundrums), Jake, and Elliot sit around a small table. The pizza box remains, this time accompanied by an assortment of half-drained cocktails. Coincidence’s cocktail umbrella spins lazily in his fingers, while Conundrum leans forward, clearly relishing the new debate. Jake is mid-sentence, gesturing emphatically with a fork holding an oversized slice of pizza.]

  Jake:

  “I’m just saying, guys notice. You see someone with… let’s call it an impressive figure, and it’s impossible not to.”

  Elliot (leaning back, unimpressed):

  “Ah, the ancient male art of overgeneralization. Truly groundbreaking.”

  Coincidence (perking up):

  “Ah, the allure of the feminine mystique! Does it matter, or is it simply the mirror of our desires reflecting back at us? A puzzle for the ages.”

  Conundrum (with a wry smile):

  “And the question remains, Jake: captivating for whom? Practical in what way?”

  Scene 2: Entering the Debate

  [Coincidence leans back dramatically, pointing his umbrella toward Jake like it’s a philosopher’s wand.]

  Coincidence:

  “Imagine, if you will, a world where size and shape dictate destiny. The grander the silhouette, the more commanding the presence. Or so the stories go.”

  Jake (grinning):

  “Exactly! It’s like a… natural magnetism. Some things just catch the eye.”

  Conundrum (raising an eyebrow):

  “But magnetism can attract or repel, can’t it? Magnificent grandeur comes with its challenges. Ever heard of Lady Grandeur?”

  Jake:

  “Lady Grandeur?”

  Conundrum:

  “She could charm an entire court, but her towering presence was so overwhelming, no one dared approach her. A lonely queen of admiration, trapped by the very allure that drew people in.”

  Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

  Elliot (dryly):

  “Sounds exhausting.”

  Scene 3: The Parable of Perspectives

  [Coincidence twirls his umbrella, the motion drawing attention like a hypnotist’s pendulum. He takes on a storytelling cadence.]

  Coincidence:

  “Consider Lady Grandeur and Lady Subtlety. One is a walking masterpiece of curves and confidence, the other a quiet elegance that whispers rather than shouts. They were both beloved, but never in the same way.”

  Conundrum (adding):

  “Lady Grandeur filled rooms, while Lady Subtlety filled hearts. Their charm lay not in competition, but in contrast.”

  Jake (frowning, clearly trying to process):

  “So… which one’s better?”

  Elliot:

  “That’s the point, Jake. It’s not a competition. It’s perspective.”

  Scene 4: The Pizza Guy Returns

  [The familiar pizza guy appears at the door, holding yet another pineapple pizza. He looks around, his expression both resigned and amused.]

  Pizza Guy (to the bartender):

  “Let me guess—philosophers still arguing?”

  Jake (waving):

  “Over here! Fruit of royalty!”

  Elliot (groaning):

  “Fruit of chaos.”

  Coincidence (to the pizza guy):

  “Tell us, oh wise purveyor of pineapple—when it comes to toppings, is less truly more?”

  Pizza Guy (pausing, contemplating with the gravitas of a sage):

  “Depends on the pizza. Too much, and it’s overwhelming. Too little, and it’s forgettable. Balance is key. Same as a delivery—too fast, and you crash. Too slow, and they stop caring.”

  Scene 5: The Climax of the Tale

  [The group dives back into their debate, while the pizza guy sits at the bar, quietly eating a slice.]

  Coincidence:

  “Ultimately, it’s not about size, shape, or even proportion. It’s about how the whole picture comes together.”

  Conundrum:

  “A grand sculpture may draw the eye, but a small, well-placed painting can touch the soul.”

  Jake (grumbling):

  “So you’re saying it doesn’t matter?”

  Elliot:

  “We’re saying you’re asking the wrong question.”

  Coincidence (raising his glass):

  “To fit, balance, and the stories we weave.”

  Scene 6: The Revelation of the Goat

  [As the group prepares to leave, a faint bleat echoes from somewhere in the bar. Everyone freezes. Coincidence grins like he’s been waiting for this moment his entire life.]

  Jake:

  “What was that?”

  Conundrum (smirking):

  “The goat. It knows.”

  Jake (bewildered):

  “Knows what?”

  Coincidence (flipping his umbrella with a flourish):

  “Everything you don’t.”

  [A second bleat echoes, and Jake’s confusion deepens. The group laughs as they leave the bar, the goat’s faint bleating lingering in the background like an unsolved riddle.]

  [End Scene]

  [retcon:1]