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63: The Mummy Gets the Boot

  “How dare you smack me? Who do you think you are?”

  “Not only am I gonna whack you, I can toss you out like yesterday’s trash!”

  Loree grabbed Susan by the collar and flung her out the door like a rag-doll.

  Susan’s puny strength was no match.

  She went flying out of the house, landing in a heap.

  “Scram. Don’t let me lay eyes on you again. Next time, it won’t be so cushy.”

  “Bang...”

  The door slammed shut, merciless as a jail cell door.

  Susan, sprawled on the ground, was seething, teeth clenched so hard her jaw ached.

  They had food but wouldn’t share. Heartless jerks, beating and berating her.

  Worse than wild animals.

  “Roar...”

  An apron-clad zombie auntie lurched out of the stairwell, making a beeline for Susan with jerky steps.

  Susan’s face went white as a sheet.

  She sprang up and started pounding on the door like a madwoman.

  “Open up! There’s a zombie! Let me in, for crying out loud! Save me!”

  Inside, they listened to the racket and couldn’t care less.

  Billy Jean let out a soft snicker.

  “This nitwit probably thinks we need more zombies.”

  Sure enough, all the hollering and banging was like a dinner bell to the zombies downstairs.

  When Susan saw a couple of nightmarish zombies spill out of the stairwell, despair swallowed her whole.

  She broke down, sobbing, fists pummeling the door.

  “Open the door! You can’t be this cold-hearted! Please, save me!”

  The first zombie auntie was on her in a flash, jaws snapping.

  Susan shrieked and thrashed.

  “AAAAH... Get off me! Let go!”

  The auntie zombie clamped down on her shoulder, ripping off a hunk of flesh.

  “AAAAH...”

  Susan’s scream could curdle blood.

  Then more zombies piled on, biting like rabid dogs.

  For a moment, blood-curdling shrieks bounced off the walls, echoing through the whole building.

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  A river of blood seeped under the door, the coppery smell filling the air.

  Loree, fresh off becoming a zombie, and Joe, the zombie tot with zero self-control, were yanked by their zombie instincts toward the door.

  Obviously, they wanted in on the feeding frenzy.

  Billy Jean, also a zombie, sat cool as a cucumber on the sofa.

  The buffet outside held zero appeal.

  Her gaze slid to the hunky Michael Joke, and her blood-red pupils flared.

  "At least he’d make a meal worth drooling over."

  Michael Joke, catching her thought, scowled.

  “Click...”

  The door creaked open.

  Susan, on death’s doorstep, saw Loree and reached out a blood-soaked hand, straining with every ounce of strength.

  The zombies were still tearing into her.

  “Save... save me.”

  The next second, her eyes bugged out in horror.

  In her pupils, Loree was lunging at her.

  She was a zombie.

  That was Susan’s last thought before her neck snapped between Loree’s jaws.

  Her head lolled to the side, and she was gone.

  Loree sank her teeth into Susan’s neck, gulping down the warm blood with a “gurgle”.

  There was a mob of zombies, and Joe couldn’t muscle his way in.

  He got shoved back, again and again, despite his best efforts.

  He crumpled to the ground, bawling his eyes out.

  “Wah...”

  He couldn’t get a bite, and he was starving.

  Once he was full, Mom wouldn’t have to cut herself to feed him.

  He didn’t want to eat Mom’s flesh anymore.

  But now, with food right there and out of reach, Mom would worry and do it again.

  “Wah, aah...”

  Joe’s wails hit a new high pitch.

  His little heart was breaking.

  Just then, a pair of big hands scooped him up.

  “Crackle... Don’t cry. Daddy’ll scare these zombies away, okay?"

  Joe hiccupped to a stop and stared, tearless, at the strange, kinda creepy creature in front of him.

  Daddy?

  “Crackle... Watch Daddy send these zombies packing."

  A red glow flared in the mummy’s sunken sockets.

  The zombies, mid-bite, felt the danger and started to quake.

  They dropped their “meals” and hightailed it.

  In a flash, the hall was clear.

  “Bang...”

  The door shut with a bang.

  The mummy stood alone in the corridor, surrounded by body parts.

  He was dumbfounded.

  Huh? Where’d his wife and kid go?

  Inside, his wife and son were cowering, shaking like leaves.

  Woohoo... So scary.

  The mummy caught on, way too late.

  Oh no, I forgot they’re zombies too.

  In Room 1301 upstairs.

  A pierced punk with a thuggish swagger was pacing like a caged animal, face like a thundercloud.

  He’d heard Susan’s screams, all right. But save her?

  No way.

  He wasn’t risking his neck for that airhead.

  Susan was too dumb to even score some grub.

  Thinking of his growling stomach, he flipped a table, sending it crashing.

  Standing in the wreckage, his eyes glinted with nastiness.

  No, he needed a new woman to take Susan’s place.

  A wicked grin spread across his face as he seemed to hit on an idea.

  Hehe, the homely chick downstairs might do the trick.

  Heard she was easy to dupe.

  Once he reeled her in, he’d make her forage for food daily.

  If she played nice, he might even toss her a bone.

  “What did you just call me?”

  Billy Jean gawked at Loree.

  “Master. You gave me a new lease on life. From now on, you’re my master, and I’m sticking to you like glue.”

  Loree said, deferential as a servant.

  “Stick to me? Wait, wife, what about me?”

  The mummy sputtered, confused as a lost puppy.

  Loree shot him a withering look.

  “We’re not the same species now. What we had is ancient history.”

  The mummy: Aah!!

  Billy Jean and Michael Joke: !!

  “But you said you were happy to marry me?”

  The mummy pleaded.

  “That was before I turned. Now? Different story.”

  Loree shrugged it off like it was nothing.

  The mummy felt like he’d been hit by a freight train.

  Abandoned by his wife.

  He wheeled around, glaring daggers at Billy Jean, demanding answers.

  How could turning into a zombie zap all the love?

  Billy Jean: Uh...

  She’d never seen this coming.

  Could it be Loree was supposed to be a mindless zombie?

  But thanks to her blood, she had smarts but lost her feelings?

  At that moment, Joe clung to his mother’s leg, all doe-eyed.

  He liked Mommy’s new look.

  She was so pretty.

  Loree glanced down, scooped him up, and dumped him in the mummy’s arms.

  Any trace of maternal warmth was gone.

  “From now on, you two stick together. I’m following my master.”

  The mummy and Joe: !!

  Father and son fired off matching glares at Billy Jean.

  Give me back my wife "mother"!

  “Uh... Do you believe me if I say it’s not my fault?”

  Billy Jean squeaked.

  The father and son looked at her like she was nuts.

  Do you really think we’d buy that?

  Billy Jean:...

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