Inside the car, it was like a scene from a wacky sitcom, with the three of them.

  Michael Joke on the left, Billy Jean on the right, and the mummy crammed in the middle.

  Right then, Billy Jean and Michael Joke were hatching a not-so-secret plan to off the mummy.

  “Michael, your lightning zaps are wicked powerful. Fry this thing.”

  “I’m driving, for Pete’s sake. Can’t exactly go all electro on it. You just slice its head off with that bone blade of yours.”

  “No way. Blood’ll splatter everywhere. Gross. You zap it with lightning and be done.”

  They went back and forth, yapping about their murderous plot loud enough for the mummy smack dab between them to hear every word.

  It was pure insanity.

  “Fine, I’ll do it.”

  Billy Jean clenched her fist, and sharp bone spikes shot out from her knuckles.

  She swung hard at the mummy’s noggin.

  “Clang...”

  Her hand bounced back like a rubber ball.

  Forget piercing the skull, it didn’t even leave a mark.

  “Mummy, mummy. It’s like petrified wood. Is it bulletproof or something?”

  Billy Jean retracted her spikes and a bone blade sprouted from her palm.

  She put all her muscle into chopping at the mummy’s neck.

  She refused to believe she couldn’t take down one measly mummy.

  “Clang...”

  Sparks flew from the force, but not a scratch on its skin.

  The mummy just sat there, still as a statue, not even batting an eyelid.

  Billy Jean slumped back in her seat.

  “No dice. It’s tougher than nails. Can’t cut it.”

  Michael Joke’s eyes were dark pools.

  “Looks like we’re stuck taking it home.”

  “Roar... Where’s your pad?"

  Billy Jean barked impatiently.

  The mummy shook its head like a lost puppy.

  “Roar... What’s your name, anyway?"

  Another blank head shake.

  “Roar... Where you from?"

  Shake.

  “Roar... How old are you?"

  Shake.

  “Scram. Beat it.”

  Billy Jean blew her top, grabbed the mummy, and chucked it out the window.

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  Next second, she whips her head around.

  Son of a gun!!

  The mummy was planted right back in the middle, like it never budged.

  Billy Jean went berserk.

  “Give it a rest! Bug someone else. Quit hassling us!”

  A red glow flared in the mummy’s sunken sockets, and bloody words started oozing onto the windshield again.

  Before it could finish, Billy Jean smacked it on the back of the head.

  “Roar... Spit it out. What’s with all this spooky junk?"

  The mummy:!!

  Michael Joke narrowed his peepers.

  Well, since turning zombie_fied, Billy Jean had gotten feistier by the day.

  The mummy hunched over, pitiful as a wet kitten.

  Under Billy Jean’s death glare, it croaked out its first mummy words ever.

  “Crackle... I was stuck in that hole for ages. I wanna go home."

  Its voice was like a screech in a haunted house, echoing and sending shivers down your spine.

  Hear that in the dead of night, and you’d wet your pants for sure.

  Michael Joke and Billy Jean knew the mummy was more clueless than a headless chicken, so they weren’t fazed.

  “Roar... Haven’t you bumped into anyone else before?" Billy Jean asked.

  “Crackle... Yeah. I iced ’em all."

  “Roar... Why’d you go after them but not us?"

  “Crackle... Cause the second they saw me, they screamed bloody murder. You two were the only cool cucumbers and even gave me a lift."

  Sucker No. 1, Billy Jean: Sucker No. 2, Michael Joke:

  “Crackle... "

  Help me find my home, and I’ll pay you back big time."

  Billy Jean perked up like a dog spotting a treat.

  “Roar... How so?"

  Nobody does favors for free.

  Gotta get something in return.

  When the mummy lifted its rags, Billy Jean shook her head and waved her hands like she was swatting flies.

  “Keep your goods. I don’t want ’em. Offer ’em to Michael Joke. Maybe he’s into your style.”

  The mummy: Michael Joke:!!

  His face went ashen, and he shot her a dirty look.

  If you can’t talk nice, zip it.

  Billy Jean clamped her mouth shut.

  There was a gash in the mummy’s gut.

  Its twig-like hand pried it open.

  Empty as a drum inside.

  It reached in and yanked out five shiny crystal cores and tossed them on Billy Jean’s lap.

  Then it grabbed five more and flung them at Michael Joke.

  “Crackle... Payment."

  The way it chucked them, you’d think it was tossing out trash.

  Billy Jean glanced down at the cores, then up at the mummy.

  She was gobsmacked.

  These days, had crystal cores become as common as pebbles?

  Michael Joke was lost in thought seeing the cores.

  Was he really that useless?

  “Crackle... D-Don’t you like ’em?"

  The mummy reached to snatch them back.

  Billy Jean snatched its bony hand.

  She didn’t care what it looked like now.

  Money talks.

  “Deal.”

  With payment in hand, Billy Jean was all fired up.

  “Roar... You don’t remember squat. Got any personal stuff?"

  The mummy cocked its head, then fished out a photo from its belly and handed it to Billy Jean.

  Billy Jean took it and her eyes nearly popped out of her head when she saw the woman in it.

  It was a hospital pic.

  A young, drop-dead gorgeous dame in a hospital gown was cradling a newborn and beaming at the camera.

  Her face was lit up with that motherly glow.

  She was a stunner.

  “Roar... Your missus and kid?"

  The mummy tilted its head.

  Clearly, its slowpoke brain had wiped everything.

  “Shoot, you don’t remember jack. Bet you don’t even know where this hospital is.”

  Billy Jean sighed like she carried the weight of the world.

  “First People’s Hospital of Zojia-city.”

  “How’d you know?”

  Billy Jean gawked at Michael Joke.

  The mummy eyed Michael Joke curiously too.

  “It’s scribbled on the hospital gown.” Michael Joke said.

  Billy Jean peeked. Sure enough, the hospital name was stamped on the chest.

  “But just knowing the name’s no good. Don’t even know the dame’s name. How we gonna find her?”

  “Her name’s Loree.”

  Michael Joke piped up again.

  “Damn! You know her. Why the heck didn’t you say so sooner?”

  Billy Jean was over the moon.

  It was like finding a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk.

  The mummy stared daggers at Michael Joke.

  That doe-eyed look from before was gone, replaced by a glimmer of nastiness.

  Michael Joke: Facing these two slowpoke zombies, he threw up his hands.

  “It’s written on the patient wristband she’s wearing.”

  Billy Jean glanced down at the photo.

  Yup, it said Loree.

  “Michael, you’re a genius.”

  Billy Jean slapped him on the back, a rare compliment.

  The mummy’s hostility fizzled out and it went back to being a dopey lug.

  It mimicked Billy Jean and reached out its twiggy hand to pat Michael Joke too.

  “Crackle...”

  Michael Joke: Uh...

  They really did look like a wacky family.

  “Let’s hoof it to the First People’s Hospital of Zojia-city now. Dig up Loree’s medical records. There’ll be an address, and then we’ll track down his home.”

  Billy Jean was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

  “We can only hit Zojia-city tomorrow. It’s getting dark. Gotta find a place to crash first.” Michael Joke said.

  “Okay.”

  Billy Jean was in a chipper mood now that she had a lead.

  She gave the mummy a friendly pat.

  “Roar... Brother Mummy, hang tight. We’ll get you home."

  When the mummy heard “home”,

  Its stiff as a board expression softened.

  It’d been waiting way too long.