Chapter 5

  Advanced DNA Based Artificial Lifeform

  “Shouldn’t it be called Adal” Dan said

  “Or Adbal” Matt responded

  “I prefer ADA.” The beautiful woman, robot, ai, hologram or whatever responded, both bounty hunters stared , her body was perfectly proportioned, her hair, almost white, flowed over her shoulders. They both concluded at the same moment that it didn’t matter what her name was.

  “ Just don’t call her an, it, guys, She is the most advanced artificial Lifeform ever conceived, there is only one like her in the universe and she has an ass that could stop a supernova in its tracks.” Fregly said as he looked up at the stunning woman.

  “frak you Fregly” Ada said scowling down at the toad man whose head barely reached her hip

  “I like her.” Dan said

  “Yea I think I am in love.” Matt sighed.

  “Anyway you need to get here a.s.a.p, where were you guys heading?”.

  “Home Fregly” Dan responded sourly.

  “Well the beach is going to have to wait I’m afraid. How quick can you get here?”

  Dan looked back at Matt who ran his hand along the wall beside him and brought up a navigational star chart. He began thumbing through, bringing up slip stream entrances and exits, before bringing up the coordinates for Fregly ‘s location. He held up 3 fingers.

  Dan nodded and turned back towards the Holo screen. “300 parsecs”

  Fregly sighed. “Well that will give enough time for the rest of the gear to arrive.”

  “Gear?” Dan asked.

  “its gonna blow your mind, the syndicate spared no expense! You guys are getting slag I never seen the like of or ever even heard of.”

  The screen went off, Dan stared at the cold metal wall for a few seconds before turning to look at his partner. “Food?” He asked

  “yea. What you want?”

  “Something that won’t make me puke.”

  Matt nodded and headed towards the galley while Dan made his way to the cockpit to program the nav coords to Freglys.

  They both sat back sipping Caf, their empty plates on the table before them.

  “We could always run.” Matt said

  “where though? There is no where in the galaxy the syndicate can’t reach. And they are not going to take no for an answer”. Dan

  “Next galaxy over?”

  “Even if we could afford the fuel the slip streams are unstable as frak, not sure we would even make it through without a interdim engine array and we would have rob one of those casinos to buy one.” d

  Matt sighed and sipped his Caf, “tough choice, certain death in this galaxy or probable death getting to the next one.”

  “yea bad choices all around.”

  “Damn she was fine though right?”

  Matt said

  “un fraking believable, I mean she looked so real too, kinda, except for that shimmer, that dress was like a part of her body, left very little to the imagination.” Dan spoke thoughtfully as he sipped his Caf.

  “I have a very good imagination.” Matt said chuckling.

  “Oh come on man how would that even work, does she even have? I mean you know?” Dan asked pointing at his lap. “frak all that.” He continued, “ I just hope she is as good as Fregly claims.”

  “ Fregly is so full of slag his eyes should be brown not, that, whatever puke yellow color they are.” Matt said

  It was Dan’s turn to chuckle. “Lets hope not, this time anyway. We should get some shut eye partner.”

  “No way I can sleep, gonna watch some Holo slag and sip this café I will wake you up when we make it to the slip stream towards Fregly’s.” Matt responded.

  Dan didn’t sleep. He lay in his bunk staring at the image of an old man projected in the air above his bunk. The old wizard was smiling as he moved past a camera too fast for anyone else to see. “frakd” he thought. “so frakd”

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  Fregly’s

  The large Blue planet behind the asteroid belt made the rocks look somehow darker, blacker, more ominous. Dan and Matt watched the image that hovered in front of the cockpit’s oxynitride windows. On the hovering, holographic screen the computers targeting path weaved its way through the large rocks and the ship followed. Without it, navigating through the crazy field of massive moving stone would be suicidal.

  “Damn the frog is paranoid man.” Matt had said much the same thing the first time they had followed this path, their ships computer spinning them through the programmed tunnel to Fregly’s base, or “bad ass hideout” as the toad man called it.

  “You would be too if your organization was responsible for the capturing some of the galaxies most dangerous criminals.” Dan said

  The two bounty hunters had to admit that Fregly’s Bad ass Hideout was aptly named, as their ship completed its final weave around one large asteroid before rotating to follow a narrow corridor between two smaller ones.

  The Blue methane planet filled their entire window and it’s color reflected off something shiny on one particularly large asteroid in front of them. As they got closer it became clear that the blue light was reflecting off of a metal strip along the front of the asteroid. On approach the metal strip moved and slowly slid downwards, revealing a well lit state of the art hanger hidden within the asteroid. As the lip completed its downward descent, lights began to flicker in the center of the large hanger signifying the spot where they were intended to land.

  Other than the opening the asteroid looked like an ordinary rock, but the bounty hunters knew that the pot marked surface of jagged stone and craters hid advanced weapons meant to quickly deal with any uninvited guests. Fregly had said as much to Matt and Dan when, after successfully completing a couple of high profile and very valuable bounties, the last being the capture of the fore mentioned wizard they had received their first and only been invite to the toad mans home. He had strongly advised the two men to never return uninvited.

  The ships computer completed the final approach and with the moan of the expanding landing gear and loud hiss from reverse thrust of the landing engines their descent slowed until with a gentle kiss they came to rest in the hanger pad. Dan looked at Matt and they both sighed and looked out at the hanger. The blue glow of the planet reflecting on the walls slowly dimmed as the hanger doors closed until the only illumination were the hangers interior lights.

  “you know what I just realized?” Matt asked

  “What?”

  “Fregly isn’t paying us enough on those bounties.” Matt said

  “You’re just realizing that?” Dan asked

  “Base computer reports, interior space pressurizing, atmosphere restoring. Please wait.” their ships computer intoned until finally the glowing graphic on the holo screen dinged and glowed green with an all clear.

  The two men sat still in their seats for a few more seconds until, with a final sigh Dan reached down to unbuckle himself.

  “Welp.” He said as he stood and walked to the cockpit doors.

  “Yep.” Matt replied in resignation.

  “My dudes!” Fregly said happily, his raised arms out stretched as if he wanted a hug. In place of the tailored suit, he was wearing some god awful, colorful, shirt covered in delusian beach flowers, equally gawdy neon shorts and yellow sandles on his frog like feet. On his head he was wearing a wicker hat and dark sunglasses. In his hand he held a large glass filled with blue liquid, a flower and a large bendy straw . Matt and Dan rolled their eyes at the hilarious site but Fregly just smiled his slimy smile one gold tooth reflecting in the lights of the hanger.

  “Welcome back guys.” He said merrily

  “You having a party Fregly?” Matt asked

  “Its always a party at Fregly’s bad ass hideout!”

  The frog like alien turned and headed towards the opening in the wall where the dimly lit hallway led to the expansive interior .

  “Come on my dudes.” Fregly said over his shoulder. “You guys wanna a drink? These blue blasts are made from the finest delusian whiskey imported straight from the beaches of flya rose. They say the fruit are squeezed on the thighs of virgins.” Fregly disappeared around a corner but his croaking laugh could be heard from down the hall. With a long sigh and a shrug of their shoulders both men followed.

  Fregly’s home was truly an over the top display of garish wealth. Expensive white marble covered all the floors and walls, accented by rare and exotic wooden furniture and elaborate works of Art, some digital, glowing and shifting, but there were also large colorful tapestries of alien landscapes, traditional earth like paintings and sculpture as well, all garish and likely absurdly expensive. Stone pillars held up the ceiling of the entry way with stone stairs descending slightly into the large foyer. Across from the foyer were wide shimmering stairs that were acented with dark wooden railings, the stairs ascended up into the living quarters. Above them the Blue planet was visible through what looked like a clear dome that Dan thought must be a projection because there was no window like structures visible on the surface of the asteroid. To the right was a pool complex, all marble with large and small naked marble statues many of which were fountains that poured water from various orifices into the long pool. At the far end was a large naked statue of a smiling Fregly holding an absolutely Enormous dick that was spewing a consistent stream of water. Inside and all around the enormous complex, dozens of living frog like aliens were laughing, diving, swimming, dancing, drinking and yes, copulating to the most annoying ing, loud karaoke which two obviously drunk frog people were croaking out at the top of their croaky, screechy lungs.

  “You boys fancy a swim?” Fregly smiled, gesturing towards the pool “party”

  “Naw, were good.” Matt said trying to not look at the flagrant debauchery of the tiny naked green aliens.

  “Yea Fregly. Can we just get this over with.” Dan agreed

  “uhh hmm” A robot butler cleared his throat as he approached the men from the hall way to their left, he was holding a tray with two large Blue drinks all containing large flowers and straws just like Fregly’s.

  “Your drinks sirs.” The Butler said extending the tray towards the men. Dan gave Matt a look as if to ask if they should.

  “Don’t mind if I do.” Matt said in response and took one. With a shrug Dan took his as well.

  “Careful delusian whisky is strong.” Fregly said as he took a long drink from his.

  “Look, Fregly, I don’t mean to be rude or anything but I think we both just want to get to it.” Dan said.

  “Of course my dudes. Too my office.” Fregly flashed them his, used speeder salesman smile and motion towards the solid stone wall behind and to the right of the large ascending staircase.

  They followed him around the stairs while behind them they could clearly hear, shouts, laughter and groaning croakes of overly excited copulating frogs all mixed with the worst Karoake in the galaxy. Dan looked at Matt and shook his head. He desperately wished he had brought some noise cancelers for his ears.

  Fregly placed his hand against the smooth stone and there was a quick flash beneath his long fingers. The white stone slowly became clear until a huge office appeared beyond the glass. With a small, swishing noise, the transparent paraglass doors slid into the floor. The office was quite different from the rest of the house. The walls and floors were a rich wood, a large, round expensive looking carpet decorated the center. To the far left was an enormous book shelf filled top to bottom with ‘real’ books , like paper and everything, likely none of which the frog alien had ever opened. During their first visit Fregly had bragged that they were the rarest of the rare, collected from civilizations all over the galaxy. Dan rolled his eyes, thinking about all the sots spent on stuff you could probably get from the galactic net for a fraction of the cost, if not free. I mean who read actual books anymore anyway?

  To the far right of the office was a sitting area with a large luxurious leather sofa, expensive looking wooden coffee table and two very expensive wooden chairs that looked hand carved from a single piece of some exotic alien tree. Above the sofa was an enormous painting of Fregly in a perfectly tailored suit, both hands resting on a decorative wooden cane complete with what looked like a monocle over one eye and a stupid top hat. On his face a stern look like a proper wealthy gentleman from the highest society of planetary traders. The absurdity of that painting versus the little frog guy standing in front of them in his yellow sandals and wicker hat almost made Dan snicker out loud.

  They walked to enormous wooden desk that was the focal point of the whole room . Fregly motioned to two chairs in front of the desk as he walked around it, his shoulders barely coming to the top of the desk. He walked behind it turned to look at the men before sitting down and completely disappearing.

  Slowly he began to rise, the top of his small wicker hat first, sunglass, shoulder then rest of him. Dan and Matt both stifled a laugh. Finally high enough, Fregly threw his small frogy sandaled feet onto the desk before leaning back to casually sip on his tall blue drink

  “Well my dudes. Check this slag out.”

  Fregly flung his hand towards the desk and quickly above it a holographic image appeared of a large mountain, in space. The image was a bit blurry but they could make out small..

  “Are those, houses? On the mountain? “ Matt asked

  “Oh yea.” Fregly

  Both men stood up and leaning over the desk they were able to make out the shapes and when enlarged and zoomed in, yea little houses spread out up and down the side of the mountain as if they were resting above a tropical sea, on some paradise planet. They did a double take and zoomed out the image until they could confirm, yes it was a mountain in space.‘What the frak are we looking at Fregly?”. Dan asked sounding skeptical and confused.

  “That my dudes is our target. Behold, the home of the Space Wizards.”