"Urgh..."

  thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, none of these things come to mind... absolutely nothing comes to the mind of...

  "Who am I again? and why is someone talking right in my ear?"...

  *Crashing Noises*

  "Nevermind that then it seems you're alot more conscious than you're supposed to be... how?"

  "How am I supposed to be asleep with you right next to me talking and... *Goosebumps begin appearing all over Codas body* why can't I feel your breath? and who the hell are you? I know damn well Spencer's vocabulary is nowhere near this advanced and I live alone so... and why can't I feel my bed or anything else?".

  *Our lovely Narrator begins furiously checking their non-existent notes in a vain attempt to understand what is happening here*

  "Uhm... I'm not supposed to talk to you... and you're not supposed to be able to hear me... I've never had to have a conversation before...".

  *It would seem our beloved narrator is having a severe anxiety attack*

  "Hey hey no need to freak the fuck out... *and proceeds to whisper the next part (in yet another vain attempt) to not be heard even though both of them will always be able to hear everything the other says* and what the fuck do they mean 'never had a conversation before' the lunatic".

  "Uh yeah i uh heard that but ...uh... uh to answer the second question as that seems safe i kinda just've been doing my job narrating things using whatever voice I'm supposed to I've never had to ACTUALLY TALK TO SOMEONE BEFORE"

  *Screaming the last part out before collapsing back into their anxiety our beloved narrator explained their situation rather well , being little more than a free agent for all cosmic entities that needed a narrator for whatever reason they would just follow around whatever Gods forsaken degenerate or Self insert type character they were asked to (they also do the voices for systems from across various Realites(aren't they just the greatest?)) ...oh right the protagonist of this latest work of slop our most beloved narrator is forced to stoop so low as to bequeath their utterly divine and beautiful oratory ability to in order to not fade from existence, their reaction to the rapid increase in volume is rather as you'd expect, a recoil... or as much of one as they can muster when they can't really move*

  "Alright, alright please calm down and tell me what's going on please".

  *The Narrator's volume did not decrease from this nor did they calm down... as this is the first time the narrator has ever been a character in a story even though they themselves have not realized it themselves*

  "How should I know this wasn't in the script, how in all that is and isn't, am i to know what this is? all I know is what was supposed to happen not whatever this is"

  "How about you tell me what you do know, and we can figure this out together okay?".

  *Finally, over the stress of their rude awakening Coda tries to put on their gentlest voice used whenever they had to sooth young children or startled animals which succeeds in getting our Beutiful narrator to quiet down but little else*

  "Idk (yes they said phonetically I D then K) if I should I've never been told what to do when someone talks to me before nor what I'm allowed to share with you... but I guess the story has already been completely derailed since you're already awake... wait how are you awake? that makes no sense whatsoever the events that wake you up haven't happened yet, HOW ARE YOU AWAKE?".

  "I don't even know what's happening right now let alone what you're saying, how about you tell me all about it and I can help get this... uh story back on its track? *mumbles* or at least on a track".

  *After what seemed to Coda like an absolute eternity of hearing our Dearest Narrator stumble over and deliberate, they finally say*

  "alright... alright okay so you were supposed to slowly and painfully come to awareness and become aware of how very not right your situation is before others enter the scene then I narrate what you saw as you saw it then you freak out over a bunch of petty person stuff then you talk to someone while I narrate their appearance and stuff and then and then...

  *Our darling narrator seems to fall into a panic attack once more*

  "Hey, hey it's okay you'll be fine take your time I'm sure I'll be here long enough for you to finish you don't need to be so scared of me or anyone else, alright why don't you tell me what you know about this story you're supposed to narrate and I'll help you get back on track? and who am I in this story?"

  *Hmm either this protagonist is incredibly dense and has completely forgotten the strangeness of their circumstances or they're craftier than I realized*

  "But I'm not supposed to spoil anything and most of what I have are spoilers"

  "Just give me whatever you feel comfortable with, and I promise I won't tell anyone else"

  "Really? you need to really, really promise, oh and you can't change certain things they are far too important to the story for you to alter them, so you need to swear up and down you'll let events play out correctly"

  *Is our narrator seriously about to fall for that?... hmm this might actually be for the best, this protagonist from what i can tell has an actually soul and isn't some mouth breathing degenerate or cookie cutter fan-insert or heaven forbid some edgelords wet dream with no real motive beyond what the author would think would shock the audience... maybe i should intervein and make this story a bit more special... i think the two of them will get along far better than all the others they've had to follow around.... it would be such a shame if the tragedy this story was meant to be remained the same... but what to do about the author?... surely that sadist won't easily let this story turn into another power-fantasy... and then there's the evil god to contend with... so much extra work... *sighs* but for them.... maybe I can find something I could do... yes, some retconning... maybe some more worldbuilding... there's no way i could do all this by myself... maybe I should call up some experts*

  A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  "I'm a little busy right now (like always) what do you need from me you almost never call my business number so this must be serious"

  *I might need help changing the fated outcome of the main character in a cosmic horror story, real horrid tragedy stuff body horror, time looping, existential dread, and end of the world scenario's, and I can't just bypass the gods of the setting nor the author directing everything, so I need some help from someone who specializes in deus ex machina's *

  "you just love making things easy on me don't you pal... huh fine, but I want to know why, and none of your mis-directions or half-truths, bringing hope and light and as you so eloquently put it "Deus ex Machinas" into a tragedy let alone a cosmic horror and against the creators will... all without making it into a fanfiction of the original work against the consent of the author is hard as all hell even for me... so i want to know why you of all people... who abhors happy endings with a fiery passion and anything you deem to be unlikely to really happen is wanting to "fix" someone else's work for them... you normally hate when i R.O.B. someone else into existing worlds in lieu of creating new ones and endlessly ribb on me for being unoriginal... so what changed your mind I know you've never actually looked down on my work but this is the first time you've ever actually asked me to Change something for you so... I'm just dying to know"

  *Fine... is that the only payment you want?... or do I need to do something else?*

  "Of course I want something else... I want a say in how this story plays out AND to bring a few of my friends along as well to spruce it up"

  *Fully taken aback and stunned for a moment*

  *Is, that all? you normally cost me much more than that, why are you being so lenient? *

  "Do you have the slightest idea how boring most of your requests are? I don't even get to see the end result half the time of course I'd charge you more for all that hassle with none of the fun of when we hang out when we aren't Collabing, but this? this is golden stuff, the type of thing I'd screw around with in my free time anyway, I just want to know what you want so I don't sabotage the project with my ahem "Help""

  *You know I don't think I've ever told you how much I love being your friend sometimes*

  "Flattery will get you everywhere... and only sometimes?"

  *You know damn well how much of a prick you are and don't even try to deny it but... times like this... yeah it reminds me of why I love working with you*

  "Alright enough with this mushy gushy shit this isn't some rom-com or slice-of-life bullshit are you gonna give me my damn payment and spill or what?"

  *Right so it all started a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...*

  "You better not be wanting me to remake the damn Star Wars films again I'm SOOO fucking sick of doing those I tried with the prequels and the remakes and the holiday special, and everyone always gives me shit for those even though the mortals I used to make them are taking most of the flak"

  *What is Star Wars?*

  "How the hell have you of all people not seen Star Wars?"

  *Guess it slipped by... is it any good?*

  "Of course, it is... wait you're trying to distract me, ain't ya?"

  *Actually, I wasn't but I'll remember that for next time I need to misdirect someone*

  "SPILL NOW!!!"

  *Alright, alright... as I was saying it started a long time ago in a galaxy far far away.... as in not on earth or in the Milkyway.... no more interruptions? good alright so as you know my job is to provide closed captions and to *

  "Above and below get to the point"

  *Sighs*"Well Fine then if you want me to break from my standard way of doing things sure I'll talk somewhat normally then... I'm smitten with a relatively new co-worker who doesn't know I exist and I want them to have some fun before all the joy gets sucked out of the job... narrating fucking sucks sometimes and never being able to talk with those you care so much for... and constantly being stuck with dickheads who thinks they're the hottest shit since stars were made... can get to some people... so Their newest protag is finally a good person, both morally and quality wise... and they seem to be meta-ly aware despite the story not supporting that... I think they could be good friends if given half the chance.... and this Co-worker hasn't happened to have an actual conversation with anyone since they appeared from the VOID and they don't know how to open themselves up to other esoteric existences yet so I do not really know what else I could do for them... and this seems like a good idea... despite the repercussions these actions would cause"

  "Wow...of all the reasons... feelings huh? didn't even knew you had those for the most part, since you're well no offense kinda basic, and don't worry about the fallout I can handle that just fine and if I can't I have a buddy in the Uppercrust who can so we'll be fine for something small like this... as long as the author isn't someone too important and we pay reparations of course"

  "You're gonna help me with the fallout too? this... this is much more than I hoped for."

  "Hold up, did you think I was the kind of scumbag to let their friend go to... well that place, over something like this? nah I do waaaay worse things all the time and still haven't had to do any time... there, besides it sounds more like you're just wanting to steal a single character from a complete story and hire this Co-worker of yours for a new job... that's so much simpler and very much not a crime lets steal the person and leave a caricature in their place... granted we will have to do something to ground this character into their new world so that they aren't obliterated by the new setting... and we will have to make a new story for how they managed to bypass all the dangerous shit that prevents this sort of thing to give them enough plot armor to at least arrive in their new home... but I'm a regular at the R.O.B. job so I can handle that as easily as breathing but I'm going to need a copy of the manuscript in order to make adjustments to the formula since I can't just appear in front of them after all cosmic horror settings tend to make all inhuman beings drive mortals to madness if they have too much power so I need a way to get them from the tragedy they live in to someplace new... I'll make a few calls and see if anyone has any abandoned projects lying around for me to use as a template for the new world"

  "Alright I'll get you whatever you need and I'd like to be in on those calls with the other COLLABORATORS to make sure this new story fits with what my Co-worker can handle"

  "Fair enough... you ready to get started?"

  "sure am"

  *Before our Protagonist can answer the mysterious voice something appears before their line of sight*

  "What is this"

  "that's not important and you're not supposed to hear or see this..."

  "Is this a story synopsis?"

  "No, no it is not, definitely not at all"

  "So, I'm trapped in the dreams of an evil god? why am I not freaking out about any of this? everything hasn't been making sense since I woke up"

  "Oh MY GOD!!! I just realized something you aren't awake yet LOL you're dreaming in an evil gods dreams that is hilarious, that's why you can talk to me... you'll probably forget all this as soon as you wake I shouldn't have let you knock me off my tempo I'll just start up again... and also as a parting gift I'll answer your questions, You're not freaking out because my narration at the beginning, you're not awake at all since I haven't said so properly and talking IS a free action, that was the original synopsis of this story don't know if that was changed since they had me narrate this, I'm the Narrator of this story and You're... Coda apparently. so now lets get to the actually story so it's not just me and you that way we can know what all the characters feel and not just have to take guess' also so that we can know your thoughts and dreams and ambitions... even if... we might have to see them all crumble around you... as that is the genre... i hope that you have a happy ending at least though it looks like that's not in the cards nor are you gonna enjoy the interim until that ending... but theres nothing I could do so lets begin the story properly at "chapter 1 - strange awakenings""

  "Now wait just one second can we at least finish our conversation? if I'm gonna forget it anyways, could you at least let me know what will....?"