“That is it! I ’t do this anymore. I’m done. We’re do’s over.”

  “Baby, please…”

  “Don’t you fug baby me. I’m serious this time. You’re zy. You’re selfish. You’re a slob. You’ve got no ambition.” With each brutal but accurate point she jabs a finger into my chest. “You’ve e from nowhere. Yoing nowhere. You’re a nothing. A nobody. No wohey fired you.”

  “Bir…”

  “Showing up te. Leaving early. And for what? So you could loaf around here pying video games? It’s not like you had some great life to e live.” She fumes. “Even when you were there you were sg off. I’m surprised they put up with your shit for this long.”

  “That’s not…”

  “You ’t even cover your half of the bills as is!”

  “I know, I just…”

  “And it’s not just work. You don’t danymore. You don’t hike. You don’t tinker. We never go out unless I drag you out. Most of your friends don’t even bother calling anymore. What happeo you?”

  “I…I just…”

  “Look at yourself! Same raggedy ass clothes as whe. When was the st time you got a hair cut? When was the st time you shaved? When was the st time you showered!? You’re a mess.” She pokes at the little roll of fat that had formed at my belly over the past year. “Somehow you’re both skinny and fat. You’re soft. You’re weak. Two flights of stairs and you’re winded.”

  “Bir…”

  “And it’s not like you’re even doing mue in the bedroom. The rare times you ARE in the mood you barely evehat little pecker of yours up anymore.” She goward my crotch before log her angry gaze straight into my eyes. “You weren’t even that great to begin with, but now you’re barely a man. I never needed a vibrator until hooking up with you.”

  A hot blush rises in my cheeks at her emasg insults. Down the hall to both my left and right I could see doors cracked open as nosy neighbors watched the fireworks. Even those with the doors closed would be hearing my girlfriend’s every eviscerating jibes through the paper thin walls. As if it wasn’t humiliating enough to be standing in the hall among all of my scattered clothes and belongings begging to be let into my own pce.

  “I love…”

  “DON’T!” Bir barks.

  “Baby…” I plead.

  “I am not you’re baby. We are through.”

  “Where am I supposed to…?”

  “Not my problem. Not anymore.”

  “But…but…”

  “But what? Hmm?” She sneers. “What could you possibly say to me? I uand what yetting out of this retionship, but what about me? Huh? Go ahead. Give me a reason. Give me one SINGLE reason why I should keep your worthless ass around?”

  All goes quiet as she awaits my answer. Silently my eyes beseech her for mercy, for pity, but this time I see nothing but cold, hard reje staring back at me. This was for real. After an interminably long minute I whisper. “I…I ’t think of one.”

  “Exactly.” She steps bad grabs the door, ready to sm it in my face. “Face it Elliot, YOU ARE A FUG LOSER!”

  BAM!

  ***

  Hours ter, I had no idea how many, I am sat on the ground in front of my car with my head in my hands trying to figure out where it had all gone wrong. With absolutely o turn I was suddenly broke, homeless and pletely alo was that st ohat hurt the most. I’d called every friend I had, or thought I had, just looking for a sofa to crash on and got nothing but excuses or ft rejes back. After my breakup with Bir I’d had to eting dumped all ain and again and again by those I thought still cared.

  A sputtering hatchback, a quarter tank of gas, an old phohat could barely hold a charge, a pile of dirty clothes along with some various odds and ends in the back seat, and 27 dolrs in my bank at was everything I had to show for my 25 years of life. What was I going to do? What could I do? How do you build again when you don’t even have a foundation on which to build? Though I really could have used their help right now…I was gd they weren’t around to see me now. All their faith in me, all their hopes and dreams, were for nothing. I failed them even worse than I failed myself.

  The very worst part was the sense of iability of it all and the too fortable acceptance of failure. Deep down I always khat this is where I would end up. I was at ro. Exactly where I belonged.

  “Fuuuck.”

  Leaning back against my car I stare through the link feo the quaint little neighborhood park beyond it. All was green and alive. I hadn’t a clue art of the city this was. Everything after the breakup was a blur. Beyond the steel grid I see kids running up and down the length the soccer field, their parents lined up along the sideline on bs and wn chairs cheering them on. It took me back to another happier time. I see a group of men about my age ughing and chatting and ribbing each other as they flicked a frisbee bad forth between them. How many times had my buddies and I dohat ba the day? So many. It had been years since we’d do. I see a young couple in love for all the world to see sharing a piic at one of the tables. Bir and I used to do things like that. Why did we ever stop? I see a woman strolling along the path stop simply to enjoy the sweet aroma of magnolia. I could not remember the st time I took a moment to enjoy such a simple pleasure.

  My head drops again. I couldn’t bear to watch it anymore. Family, friends, lovers, simple pleasures, these things were beyond me now and having to see them only acted to highlight just how far I had fallen. As soon as I found the will to move myself I would find another pce to park for the night. Some dark alley rubby underpass perhaps. Somewhere more befitting of a wretch like me. I’d never had to spend the night in my car before now, but I suspected tonight would be the first of many more to e. Fuck my life!

  “Excuse me?” es a soft, feminine voice.

  I look up to discover the woman I had spotted sniffing the flowers had approached the fence while my head was down. She was tall, at least as tall as me, heavy set yet still maintainihick hss curves thanks to her wide hips and rge bosom. The one piece emerald and bck patterned dress she wore was of a style I often saw er dies trying to mask their extra flesh. She had long wavy brown hair, warm brown eyes, plump lips, and a wide face that was easy on the eyes without being stunning. She wore simple leather sandals that revealed toenails paihe same dusky pink as her short trimmed fingernails. At a gnce I guessed her to be in her mid forties, her tacky earrings and neckce alone screamed middle age.

  Too tall, too ky, too old, with an outdated fashion sense and not enough good seo keep to herself? Yuck! A total ‘Karen’ if I ever saw one. She was literally the opposite of my petite and pretty blond ex in every way. It takes me but a sed to decide that I hate her.

  “Fuck off.” I wave her away.

  “Excuse me!”

  Exasperated I throw up my hands. “Am I not supposed to park here or something? You gonna call the cops now, ya fat old cow?”

  She straightens up and raises her in offense. “Well that was rude.” Holding out her hand she reveals a rge snow white magnolia blossom. “You looked like you were down in the dumps. I thought this might cheer you up.”

  I stand and approach the fearing down at the cheery bloom. “A flower?” I shake my head and ugh a humorless ugh. “Lady. With the day I’m having I need a lot more than a flower.” I was about to say something s hold my to was a sweet gesture by a sweet dy. She did not deserve my redirected venom. “I’ll…I’ll get going.” I mutter, my head bowing low. “Sorry to darken your day, Ma’am.”

  “Wait.” She says. “Your name is Elliot?” I look up to meet her eyes before sing her face. Only now does it dawn that she did look vaguely familiar. Her expression softens. “Elliot Everly?”

  “Um…that’s right.” I say. “Sorry, do I know you?”

  “Not directly.” She says. “I knew your parents. Not in ideal circumstances admittedly, but we spoke often enough that we got to know each other.”

  “My parents?” My eyes widen as a memory awakens. “Mrs. Hutton?”

  “Please, Heather.” She says. “I heard about what happened. I was so sorry to hear it. They went far too young. They were good people.”

  “Yeah.” I whisper, reeling from this ued figure from my past.

  Heather Hutton was the mother of Liam Hutton, my grade school bully. By graduation he and I had smoothed things out enough to tolerate each other but from grades oo nine Liam had made my school years a living hell. Liam was one of those clever bullies who always made sure to keep his tormenting to times when we were alone or when we were around a group that would back his word over mine. Around the teachers and parents however he was a saint. The one most fooled by his angel act was his mother, the woman standing in front of me now, whose faith in her son was absolutely unshakable. His twin sister Lily had always been kind enough to me but Liam’s cruelty at such a formative age had left scars that still hadn’t fully healed.

  “Oh my God.” I say. “Mrs. Hutton!”

  She smiles. “Heather. Please, you’ll make me feel old.”

  “Oh, yeah.” I shift awkwardly from foot to foot. “I…didn’t reize you.”

  “Clearly.” She says.

  “God, I’m so sorry. I…I’m having a day.”

  “Everyone has a bad day now and then. Don’t worry about it.” Though her smile doesn’t flicker I catch her look me up and down, noting my threadbare clothes and scruffy appearahen looking past me to the shitbox car with my meager belongings piled in the back seat. She quickly returns her eyes to mine. “How are you doing, Elliot?”

  “I’m good.” I lie. “I’m just…moving. Old pce didn’t work out.”

  “Mmm.” She hums. “You had a pce arouhen? I never saw you around before today.”

  “Huh? Oh no. No, no, no. Not around here, no.”

  “Hm.”

  “You…um…live around here?”

  “Mm.” She motions over her shoulder to the far side of the park. “With Lily and Liam moved out and Alexander gone I didn’t need all that spaymore. Moved here almost four years ago now.”

  “Oh. Mr. Hutton…?”

  Her smile turns sad. “Passed o attack.”

  “Oh! I’m so sorry to hear that.”

  “Just a few weeks after graduation. At least he got to see that. It was quick. He…didn’t suffer.” She clears her throat then turns the topic right bae again. “So you’re moving into the neighborhood?”

  “What? No. No I…I, um…um… I’m just passing through, you know?”

  “We’re on the edge of the city. Where are you passing through to?”

  “Where? Um…”

  Her smile fades though her eyes remain warm. “Where are you moving, Elliot?”

  “I…um…” On another day I might have been able to e up with some bullshit. Not today. I take a deep breath and as I let it out my shoulders slump. “I don’t know, Heather. I just…don’t know.”

  She steps closer to the fence, her voice low so as not to carry. “Do you need help, Elliot?”

  “No. No.” I shake my head. “I’m okay.”

  There’s a long pause. “Listen, Elliot. Lily is doing her residency at the General.” She says softly. “Just across from the hospital they’ve got an addi ter that…”

  “Addi?”

  “They won’t judge you there. There are beds and…”

  “You think I’m…? He he he.” I start to ugh. I ’t help myself. It was simultaneously the saddest and fuhing I’d ever heard. She might have delivered the pune but I was the joke. “Ha ha ha ha!”

  “Elliot?”

  “Sorry.” I wave my hand. “Sorry. You think I’m s?”

  “Oh.” Her face flinches as she realizes she’d guessed wrong. “I just…I thought…”

  “Drugs! I wish I had that excuse! At least then I’d have something else to bme.” I chuckle ically. “No, Ma’am.” Spreading my arms wide I announce boldly. “This is all me. This is all I am. Today I got fired, dumped and kicked out of my apartment. I lost all my friends. My family won’t talk to me. I’m broke. I got o be and o go. I’m a fu loser and that is all I will ever be!”

  She takes in my words then in a blink her soft expression goes as hard as steel. “You are only a loser if you think you are.”

  “I don’t think. I know.” I gasp, somewhere along the way my ughs had turo stifled sobs. “My life is shit, Heather. It’s shit because I am shit. And I am shit because it is shit. It’s all a cycle of…SHIT!”

  She stares at me for a long minute before letting the flower slip from her fio fall to the green wn below. She shakes her head. “And how are you ever going to break the cycle with that attitude? If you’re waiting for the world to adapt to you…”

  “It’s none of your business, Heather.” Bag away I slump back down to sit on the ground. “Leave me alone.”

  Her brown eyes narrow as they drill down into me. “Is that really what you want? To be left alone?”

  “Yes!” I shoo her way with a dismissive wave of my hand. “Let me just curl up and die in peace.” I bury my head in my arms. “Go away!”

  In the following silence I hear the sigh of the breeze through the trees and bushes and the cheers from the same as a goal is scored. What I do not hear are retreating footsteps. I couldn’t see Heather but I knew she was there. I could feel her gre still on me.

  I try to end the enter in the way I began it. “Fuck off!”

  In a firm, anding tohat only an experienced mother could wield Heather snaps. “I will NOT be spoken to in that manner, young man.” I look up ready to tell her off but her hard gre shuts me up the instant I see it. “Stand up. On your feet.”

  “Wha…?”

  “On your feet!” She says. “And look me in the eyes when I am talking to you.”

  Seeing that I’d upset her I hurry to stand. Brushing off my butt I approach the fence again. “Heather…”

  “You call me Mrs. Hutton.” She cuts me off. “Heather is for friends and people who show me respect.”

  “Uh, right.”

  “Straighten up!” She barks. “ up. Shoulders back.”

  My posture straightens without me even thinking about it. “I-I’ll leave. I’m sorry that I…”

  “Shush!” She waves a stern finger my way. “How much money do you have, Elliot?”

  “Money?”

  “When I ask a question I expe answer.” She says. “How much?”

  “I…I don’t need your money.” I say. “Or your pity.”

  “Oh, I know.” She looks at my chest as if she could see through to my heart. “You’ve got all the pity you’ll ever need right there inside of you.”

  “Um…”

  “And I am certainly not handing out free moo an able bodied man.” She asks again, even more pointedly. “How much?”

  “Uh…um…like, 25 bucks or something.”

  She gives a sharp nod. “About enough for a haircut. There’s a bargain salon just up the street that takes walk-ins. If you hurry you still get there before they close.”

  “Haircut?” What the fuck was she on about?

  “See if they’ll throw in a shave while you’re at it.”

  “How is a shave and a haircut going to help me?”

  “In more ways than you t.” She says. “Besides, I expect my guests to be well mannered and well groomed. And you leave that pity you’re carrying around at the door.”

  “Guests? I…don’t uand.”

  “I won’t offer you money, Elliot.” Her voice softens. “But a hot meal and a warm bed for the night is something I will give you.” Before I protest she raises a hand. “Don’t argue. You’ve already told me that you’ve got nowhere else to go. o stand on pride now.”

  “Warm…bed?”

  Her eyes widen as a rather being blush rises across her cheeks. “In the guest room!” Flustered she huffs and shakes her head. “Mine is the blue house in the middle of the blo the opposite side of the park. Dinner will be at 6:30 sharp. If you are te, too bad for you. My offer ends at 6:31.”

  “6:30.” I whisper.

  “Sharp. I go to bed early and I expect quiet after 10. We’ll be up early. I go to work at 8 and you will be leaving at that time or before.” Seeing my perplexed expression her features soften again and her voice warms. “We all have bad days, Elliot. But they get better as long as we don’t give up.” She smiles. “Things will lohter in the m. You’ll see.”

  Despite what she’d said it ity that spurred her to offer me this pletely undeserved act of kindness. I hated to accept it, but right now I was too damn low to be proud. In this ter fate had just thrown me a lifeli least until the m, and I’d be damned fool not to grab onto it with both hands.

  “Yes, Ma’am.” I swallow hard and nod. “6:30. I’ll be there.”

  “I look forward to seeing you.”

  “I…I’m sorry about the way I spoke to you, Mrs. Hutton.”

  “Apology accepted.”

  “I…um…I ’t tell you what this means…um…”

  She raises her hand to stop me. “You thank me in the m, Elliot.” With a nod she prods me on. “Now get going. That barber will be closing soon.”

  Bag away toward the driver’s side door I say. “6:30. I won’t be te, Mrs. Hutton. I’ll be there.”

  Her smile grows. “Bring your appetite.”

  “I will.” I smile for the first time today. “I will! Thank you. Thank you!”

  “Don’t mention it.” She waves. “Now go!”

  A moment ter I am coaxing my car to start as I watch Mrs. Hutton’s wide hips and full behind sway bad forth as she makes her way back across the verdant park. I had unfairly decided that I hated her within seds of seeing her, a judgment I could now see that I had been far too hasty in making.