1st arc book cover

  DIANA

  ARTEMIS/Schwa

  Abhi

  "If they seem aggressive, beat them up first; if they are armed, destroy them."

  That's what he had told me before the mission started, but even though I wanted to, I couldn't follow his orders.

  I run away from that place as fast as I can, irrationally turning left and right through the empty alleys and dark streets, even though there is nothing behind me.

  Of course, they don't need me at all; they were there for him.

  "Now I've fucking done it!" I sigh and look up.

  The white crescent shines brightly in the sky, revealing a high wall, the dead end of my escape.

  Slowing down, panting, I lean my back against it and drop onto my butt.

  What I thought were raindrops curling down a lock of my hair were actually my own sweat.

  I unbutton a button of my shirt to let the cold night air cool down my body, and exhaustion mixed with a bit of irony turns my panting into a small laugh. "I screwed up so badly, it's actually hilarious," I think.

  As I take a moment to process what has happened, I don't think anyone could have survived.

  But even I know that dying for this man is more important than saving my own life.

  Indeed, my first mission as the Prince's bodyguard had ended in failure.

  EPISODE 1: BODYGUARDS

  “His Highness the Prince’s bodyguard, codename: DARIUS.”

  “His Highness the Prince’s bodyguard, codename: ESMERALDA.”

  “His Highness the Prince’s bodyguard, codename: ARTEMIS.”

  “Ah, it’s my turn? Sorry, the last bodyguard is me, and my codename is DIANA.”

  I feel so stupid now that all these serious people are looking at me, but all these ceremonies are beyond me. I don’t care about sounding serious and trustworthy—I’m not here because I want to be.

  Besides, this prince is way too scary.

  First of all, he looks like a 70-year-old devil with a cane, and that’s scary. Nobody would expect a prince to be an old man, would they? I mean, the word has a very young and chivalrous ring to it, and when I heard I was going to be in contact with the actual Prince, I didn’t expect him to look like a concierge or something.

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  What’s also scary is that he looks like he’s about to blast my existence out of this world with his thunderous eyes, and that’s very scary.

  As for the other three fellows in the room, they look average. The kind of people you’d find in any book.

  Here we have the one with big muscles.

  The one with the big brain.

  And the one with big boobs.

  And as for me, well, I’m the big idiot.

  We’re all standing in the luxurious suite of an overpriced hotel, some distance from each other, facing the old man who seems to be in pretty good shape. But while I’m looking for a convincing escape plan from this skyscraper, the prince mumbles something.

  “ARTEMIS and DIANA…” he says.

  Well, even I noticed that silly coincidence. Artemis and Diana are basically the same goddesses from Greek and Roman mythology. Except that when I look at her, uh, no, I’m nothing like that succubus.

  “Yes...?” she asks in an obnoxious voice.

  What?

  All eyes are on her now. I can’t believe that idiot thought the Prince was calling us instead of just pointing out our shared name.

  Oh no, now I feel insulted. This black leather idiot is an even bigger fool than I am, and I won’t allow her and I to be associated in any way!

  I don’t know how these guys got recruited; basically, I got involved because my sister is indebted up to her eyeballs and sold me to this shady-looking, high-risk, high-reward company a few years ago. You know, the kind where you have to subscribe to way too many insurances, making it seem extremely unsafe.

  Honestly, I thought it was some sort of weird fetish brothel with codenames and bondage. At that point, I was ready to accept prostitution. But then they actually trained me in infiltration, hand-to-hand, and armed combat. For a few weeks, I thought it was some kind of twisted, realistic sadomasochistic training.

  And then I followed their instructions for my first mission, so here I am, teaming up with people I don’t know to be the Fantastic 4 for an old man whom I’m not even sure is a real prince anymore!

  God, I wish my name was a cool Russian name like ESMERALDA. I could be the Black Widow, breaking people’s necks with my legs. Wouldn’t that be hot and awesome? Wait, was it Russian? Anyway, now I’m stuck with DIANA, and I really hope that the whore who owns the name of my alter ego gets smashed by the almighty old Prince’s glare. Thank you very much.

  Unfortunately, the Prince has never killed anyone with his eyes, and my hopes for him vanished in a few seconds.

  He’s so old anyway, and why would he ask for people like us instead of some powerful knights trained in a castle or something?

  I should mention that I had never fought anyone before my training, except for that time in middle school when a girl called me a whore, and I pulled her hair so hard that it bled a little. It was disgusting. She had a big hole in her head ever since, which she tried to hide with a new haircut. But it was so ugly that she ended up shaving it all off. People went from mocking her to being nice because they thought she might have had cancer. She even got presents with “good recovery” on them, not that she appreciated them.

  Wait, wait, wait, this guy has been talking for a few minutes now, and I haven’t been listening at all! Can you believe I was distracted by Chemotherapy, as we liked to call her … but what a ridiculous way to miss important events!

  “-so if that’s the case, you might as well leave now.”

  What did he say? Should I ask him to repeat it? I’d really like to know what conditions I have to fulfil to leave right away!

  “Excuse me, Your Highness? I didn’t catch the last minute. Could you please say it again?”

  What the heck?! It’s Boobies again, and damn, what a helpless person she is. Not listening at a time like this is so pathetic, and she dares to ask the prince himself to repeat.

  “That’s all right. I only said that if you’re not ready to die, you might as well go.”

  “Oh yes, me! Me! I’m not ready to die, sir! May I go?”

  !

  I knew it wouldn’t be the best feeling in the world to be hit, but did you know that an iron cane could hurt even more? Ah, it feels like my arm is broken. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.

  The strange thing is, the girl next to me is hurt too.

  But she didn’t say anything, did she?

  Maybe it’s the pain, but I can’t remember which one of us said something so stupid and rude.

  I hate that old man now. Why would he offer us the chance to leave if he was going to hit us?

  “DARIUS, STOP!” someone shouts.

  SCRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

  “If you break it too much, we won’t get the information!”

  What the hell is going on? Why is there so much noise? Wait, who hit me?

  What I thought was an iron-reinforced cane was actually the iron-reinforced arms of the very luxurious and expensive hotel’s room service robot.

  This is ridiculous! The mission hasn’t even begun, and I’m already being surprised by the modern evolution of a vacuum cleaner.

  Now that I look at it, this vacuum cleaner, which stands about one and a half meters tall, clearly harbours malicious intentions with its angry red alert eyes screaming, “I have sworn to destroy mankind!” It sends shivers down my spine, even though it’s currently secured by Mr. DARIUS’s brawny arms.

  “It’s definitely remote-controlled. Either that or it was pre-programmed before we arrived,” Miss ESMERALDA adds, as if she’s been dealing with this kind of thing all her life.

  Well, good for you, smart ass. But for regular people like me, we’ve just entered the 'what the hell' zone. And when I woke up this morning, I sure as hell wasn’t planning on playing in Ghost in the Shell!