Location: Still this bloody coastline. Woke up to a seagull trying to steal my wind chimes. Again. At least the house didn't decide to take a midnight swim. Small victories.

  Right. Entry two. Let's see if I can manage one actual entry about magic before giving up entirely. Decided to start with the absolute basics, something even that puddle-polymorphing idiot from yesterday couldn't theoretically screw up too badly: the Basic Mending Charm.

  Exciting? No. Essential? Absolutely, unless you enjoy replacing every chipped mug, torn page, or cracked potion vial by hand, or worse, buying new ones. It’s fundamental. You take the broken bits, a tiny dab of sympathetic binder (spider silk, morning dew, powdered loyalty – whatever’s appropriate and handy), focus your will, murmur the alignment syllables, and pop. Good as new. Usually. Takes about ten seconds, requires less magical energy than sneezing. Simple.

  My target for this grand demonstration: a rather nice ceramic mug, victim of yesterday's startled reaction to a wave deciding to crash through the supposedly sealed window frame (Note: check coastal wards. Again.). Just a clean break in the handle. Easy fix.

  Got the pieces. Got the dew (slightly salty, thanks to the sea air, but should work). Lined them up on the desk. Took a breath, started focusing…

  This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

  And of course, the Hair sensed activity. Specifically, it sensed delicate work requiring concentration, which is apparently its cue to get involved. A long, inquisitive section detached itself from the main mass pooling near my ankles and slithered onto the desk like some kind of attention-seeking, hairy serpent.

  Before I could bat it away, it decided the two pieces of mug handle looked… lonely. And that the sympathetic binder (the dew) clearly wasn't sufficient. So, with a level of dexterity that would be impressive if it wasn't so infuriating, it began to weave itself between the two broken ceramic edges, strands looping and tightening like miniature, self-tying sutures. Then it looked up (or, the end of it sort of… quivered expectantly in my direction) as if presenting its 'improvement' for approval.

  So now I have two pieces of ceramic handle, not mended, but intricately and firmly bound together by several dozen strands of my own magically-charged, smug-looking hair. It’s not fixed; it’s decorated. And probably structurally unsound.

  I just stared at it. Then at the hair, which gave another happy little wiggle.

  "No," I said, very quietly. "Bad hair. That is not how sympathetic binding works, you over-conditioned menace."

  It drooped slightly. Couldn't tell if it was remorse or just boredom setting in.

  So, lesson one for the guide: Basic Mending Charm is simple, unless you have sentient hair that thinks it's a fucking macramé expert. In which case, just buy a new mug. Or invest in metal tankards.

  This guide is going to be longer, and require significantly more swearing, than I initially anticipated. Joy.