Kai soon realized that his sense of space had been totally screwed up, thanks to his transformation. What had once seemed close in human terms now seemed much, much further away in gremlin terms. Shorter legs. That was partially why all his exploring in the first couple of days here had seemed so despairing. Now that he had a base to work from, he wasn’t as panicked about food and water and felt more confident about exploring and going further.
From the temperature and bright green leaves and grasses around him, he guessed that it was summer. The trees were thick and old, deciduous, maybe elm or oak or something. Kai was no tree expert. They had leaves and not needles. He didn’t see any fruits, so they weren’t fruit trees or anything. Probably. The canopy was pretty thick, which is why the undergrowth was thicker where branches touched, one tree to another, and was thinner near the aged trunks. As a human, he would have been able to easily march through the mature forest. As a gremlin, it felt like having to push his way through a jungle.
Going in any one direction at random might not lead him anywhere, so he tried to go in a circle, with the dungeon at the center. If he could get an idea about the entire area, he’d feel more confident. He also might not get lost as easily. Losing your magical dungeon because you were lost in the forest would really suck. He needed to push back the mental fog of war and reveal the map.
He was on his third concentric ring, moving progressively outwards from the dungeon, when he finally came across a ‘road.’ It was nothing more than a dirt path through the forest with traces of wagon ruts. Kai saw a stump and a fallen tree a few centimeters thick. A slightly thicker tree had been cut down further down the road on the other side. It looked like someone came along once in a while and kept the forest from encroaching too far, keeping the route open. That said, there were tufts of grass and weeds all throughout the road, so it obviously wasn’t travelled much.
Movement far to Kai's right caught his attention. Instinctively, he crouched lower and faded back behind the cover of some bushes.
A human man in filthy, medieval peasant clothes was carelessly ambling along the road in Kai's direction. He had shaggy brown hair, a big basket on his back with a couple of dead branches sticking out, and he wore grass sandals on his feet. He took a swig from a silver flask in his hand, his eyes listlessly roaming the sides of the road.
Kai felt a thrill of excitement. His first human! Well, aside from the salesman. What were people in this world like? Kai hid himself in the bushes and eavesdropped on the approaching man. Maybe he’d get a chance to introduce himself.
The man sauntered closer and closer. He mumbled to himself, “Skanky bitch of a wife. Thinking of leaving me. Me! For what? How did I deserve that? Scorning me like I’m no good. As if that fat cow is better than me.” His tone turned feminine, and he mocked, “‘You have a gambling problem.’ As if. Just a run of bad luck. What does she know? She was never smart enough to understand things. Gamblin’s a patient man’s game. Gotta wait. Then, when the cards are right, that’s when you strike!” He smacked his hands together. The movement caused some of his alcohol to spill from the flask. “Oops!” He hastily licked the droplets from the side and neck of the flask lest they go to waste.
Kai…was not impressed.
“She’ll regret it when I’ve hit it rich. I’ll drop her fat ass and get me a younger, prettier model. Hell yeah. And those damned kids! Looking down on me. How dare they? I’m their father! Ungrateful little shits. They can go live with their bitch of a mother after I drop her. If they don’t have the good sense to appreciate all their father has done for them, then good riddance. Bunch of money-sucking piglets is all they are anyway. Her too.” He spotted a fallen branch next to the road. Picking it up, he held it in his hand and stared at it in silence for a long minute. Finally, he scowled. “Bloody wood collecting. I can’t believe I have to stoop to this to survive. Picking up deadwood for coppers. Can’t even cut down a tree for firewood like a normal person because ‘you need a license’. Stuck-up government pricks. Why should anyone need a license to cut down trees? They’re everywhere!” In a fit of rage, he lashed out with the branch, striking the nearest tree over and over. But the dead stick quickly snapped and fell to the ground. Not exactly a prime physical specimen, the man almost immediately tired out and stood there, smaller stick in hand, panting. In disgust, he whipped the stick at the tree. It bounced back and hit him in the chest. “Ow!”
To level up the dungeon, Kai was pretty sure that he needed to bring people into the dungeon to challenge it. He’d lost all interest in trying to talk to this guy. But how to tempt the guy into going into the dungeon? Kai had no money, so he couldn’t wave that in the desperately poor man’s face and get him to chase after him. He could try talking. ‘Say hey, my good man. Brand new dungeon over there, don’t ya know? Got a treasure chest an’ everything. Come on; I’ll show ya.” Kai was a gremlin. He doubted the man would listen to a little green man.
A memory bubbled up from Kai's past, something from TV. A frog that could sing and dance. Loony Tunes? He recalled a man dreaming of getting rich from the frog’s talent. Kai squinted his eyes in thought. Could something like that work here?
The man had given up his drunken anger and was now resignedly picking up the stick he’d broken and putting it over his shoulder and into his basket.
Kai took a deep breath. He’d never thought of himself as much of an actor, but… Pretending like he didn’t know the man was there, he started singing and dancing, channelling his best Michael Jackson, though he couldn’t really remember most of the words, “As he came into the window, it was the sound of a crescendo. He came into her apartment, something bloodstains in her apartment. Something something table. Something she was disabled. She ran into Max Headroom. She was struck down. It’s her doom.” He raised his voice, belting out the chorus, “Annie, are you ok? Are you ok? Annie, are you ok?” Then, as if he was just noticing the human man now, he froze in the middle of the moonwalk he was doing. Very slowly, he looked up.
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The man stared down at Kai in shock, jaw dropped, mouth hanging wide open.
Very deliberately and acting embarrassed, he was a little because he was a very bad singer and couldn’t dance to save his life. Kai straightened, brushed himself off, and then cleared his throat. “Ahem. Ah, hello.”
The man’s jaw slowly rose until his teeth clicked. “What the tarnation are you?”
“A gremlin.”
“You speak?”
“Yes…?”
“I’ve never seen a talking monster before.”
Kai nodded and acted knowing. “Very likely. I understand it’s a rare thing. That’s why my former master made so much money off me.”
The man blinked. “Master? How he made money?”
Kai tried to play innocent and trusting. “Yes. When my former master discovered me, he was just as surprised as you are. He convinced me to come with him. He fed and protected me, and in return, I performed for audiences. We travelled in his wagon all over, performing in many different towns. We were very successful. My master collected much money. He used to sit up late into the night counting it, counting how many gold he could turn all those coppers and silvers into.” Kai forced a laugh as if the memory were amusing.
“G-gold, you say.” The man licked his lips. He took a step closer.
Kai nodded. “It was a good life — for a while. We became quite famous, so I’m told. My master became very rich. But then he became cruel, so I ran away.” Kai acted forlorn.
“Yes… A shame…” You could see the calculations going on in the man’s eyes. It probably took a bit to cut through the alcoholic haze in his brain, but slowly, slowly, he reached a conclusion: if the singing gremlin had made one man rich, why, it could make this man rich too! His eyes widened with elation. Then they intently focused on Kai. The man slid his flask into a pocket. He took a step toward Kai.
Kai took a step back.
Both paused and stared into each other’s eyes.
The man took two steps forward.
At the same time, Kai took two steps back.
As Kai's legs were a fraction the length of the human’s, this was not going in Kai's favour.
The man moved.
Kai spun and ran.
The man cackled with glee as he gave chase. He called out, “Come here, you little gold mine! I’ll treat you well. I swear!”
Kai didn’t have enough air in his lungs to banter. The man was closing fast. Kai pumped his legs as fast as they would go, his toe claws digging into grass and dirt. He sprinted across bare spots and wove around trees. It was all he could do to stay ahead of the human.
The man chugged along, soon breathing just as hard as Kai, for he seemed quite out of shape. So focused was he on his target that he didn’t notice a low branch hanging from a particular tree. The wood collector ran right into it with his forehead. His feet went out from under him, and he fell onto his back, his basket cracking and sticks tumbling out.
Kai couldn’t help but point back at the man even as he continued to run. “Ha-ha!” Then he tripped over a rock and face-planted into a patch of dirt. Grass poked him in the eye, and dirt got between his many teeth. He pushed himself to his hands and knees, dazed and in pain. He rubbed his hurt eye, forgot he had claws, and nearly took his own eye out. With a jolt, fingers wrapped around his body, and he was jerked up into the air.
The man maliciously grinned down at him, a small gash now on his injured forehead. Triumphantly, he crowed, “Got you!”
Kai spit gritty mud into his eyes.
The man shouted in pain and dropped Kai while trying to wipe the stinging dirt out of his eyes.
Kai ran. He heard the man soon follow, footsteps pounding, breath wheezing. Luckily, Kai was headed in the right direction. Sort of. Spotting familiar terrain, he broke hard left behind a thick tree trunk, gaining distance. Then it was a clear sprint toward the cave. He dashed inside into the darkness.
Running down the short tunnel, he saw the stone floor ahead and just then recalled the pit trap. “Whoa!” He put on the brakes and slid forward, coming to a stop right at the edge of the trap. It might look like a regular stone floor now, but the moment he stepped on it, the floor would open, and he’d plunge into the open pit below, unable to climb out again. Luckily, that didn’t happen. Dying to his own trap would have been super stupid. Very carefully, he slid along the very narrow gap between the trap and the wall. His size came in handy this time. There was just enough space to work his way around the pit trap. Then he was free and on the other side of it.
The wood collector came jogging up, his basket of sticks gone, fresh dirt on his knees. The gash on his forehead had opened, and a trickle of blood had come out. He looked exhausted. But the moment he saw Kai, his greedy eyes lit up. “Got you!” He lunged forward.
The trap door fell open. The man fell with a short cry of surprise. His body made a soft thump when it landed.
Kai let out a long breath. He was safe. It had worked. He smiled.
“Hello?”
Kai's grin froze.
“Hello? Anyone there?”
Kai's smile faded away. The man wasn’t dead.
“I seem to have fallen in a hole. Please help me.”
Kai eyed the pit. This was…an unexpected development. What the hell was he supposed to do now? He looked around as if he could spot answers lying around in the small room. Of course, there weren’t any.
“I…I think I’ve broken something. I think I broke my leg. Yes. There’s something white poking out of the skin.” A scream of pain. “Yes. Yes, it’s the bone, and it’s sticking out of my leg.”
Kai swallowed. He gingerly edged away from the pit and toward the Admin Area door.
“Hello? Are you still there? Mr Gremlin? Can you help me? Do you have a rope? Can you call a doctor?”
The secret door opened, and Kai backed through it. As soon as he was safely in the Admin Area, the door shut, cutting off the horrible sounds from outside.
“Hello? Mr Gremlin?”
Kai whirled. It took him a second, but he realized the sound was coming from the console. The video screen on the wall showed the room outside. Luckily, it didn’t show down into the pit.
“I’m having trouble breathing. My ribs are moving much more than usual. When I put my fingers on them, I can play them like a piano. Ow. Ow. Ow. I think they’re all broken.” A wet cough. “Uh…I think they’ve punctured a lung.”
Kai slid over to the console. He brought up the design menu: Traps. He punched a button. A bear trap fell into the pit trap.
A horrible scream tore through the air. It dwindled, then died out. Silence reigned.
Kai sighed in relief.
“Hello? Are you there?”
Kai flinched in surprise.
“I think a bear trap fell on me. But it’s ok. It only took my arm off. Although, I’m losing a lot of blood now. I don’t think I have much time. Do you have a healing potion by chance?”
Kai stabbed the button on the console. A second bear trap fell into the pit. More screaming. Then a third trap fell. He paused. Still screaming. So he hit the button several more times until the pit was entirely full of bear traps, and the screaming ended.
He waited. And waited.
A chime sounded in his head. The text box appeared in his vision.
LEVEL UP!
Dungeon Master
Level 2!
Kai excitedly pumped his fist. “Yes!”
