One of the kobolds approached Kai with a handful of strips of human flesh, bloody and raw. Human sushi. While chewing on one, it offered the others to Kai.

  Kai smiled and shook his head. “No thanks.” He might be a gremlin now, just another ‘monster’, but the thought of eating humans turned his stomach.

  The kobold nodded, seemingly not offended. Then it sat down on the edge of the pit trap with its legs dangling over the side with no more worry than it was sitting down for lunch on a park bench or wall overlooking a beach or something. It gnawed on the human sushi while staring down into the pit, watching the adventurer below.

  “The spike is pushing out through my belly. Please help me! It’s gonna… It’s gonna… Ahh! Oh fuck. Oh fuck, it tore right through my belly. The spike has gone right through me. I’m starting to slide down the shaft. I’ll just try to take some of the pressure off by grabbing onto this other spike. Ahh! The spike went right through my hand! Now my hand is impaled too! And I can still feel the spike rubbing up against my spine. This is so unnatural. Please. Someone. Anyone. Pull me up. I’m begging you!”

  The pleas of the dying young man were difficult to listen to. So Kai re-entered the Admin Area upstairs, then muted the sound from the camera feed. Bringing up the console menu, he looked around to see if any new options had come up after achieving Level 4. He found the section for Equipment, where the cistern had been located, and discovered two new cooking options: a campfire and a runic stove.

  There was no point in using a campfire indoors; the smoke and gas given off would kill people. There also wasn’t any wood to burn unless they went out and cut some down. Curious about the stove, he created one in the Admin room. Picking it up off the floor, he examined it. The flat, square runic stove looked a lot like an induction stove, the kind you plug in and sit on a counter or table or something, except that this one didn’t use electricity and had no cord. It was big enough for a single pot or frying pan. In the middle was a large, faintly red spiral. In the corner was a small runic symbol about the size of a thumbprint. Experimentally, he pressed his thumb to the small rune. Very soon, the large red spiral began glowing and putting out a fair amount of heat. He now had access to a working stove!

  Thrilled, Kai excitedly carried the stove down into the other room. He called out to the kobolds as he returned, “Here! Here! Try this!” He placed the runic stove down on the stone floor next to the corpse.

  All of their dragonic eyes lit up.

  The adventurer plaintively called out, “Guys? My intestines are caught on the tip of the spike. The more I slide down, the more my intestines are being pulled out. It’s revolting. And it stinks. It’s like staring up at links of sausage in a butcher’s shop. But I think we can just put them back in and fix it all with a needle and thread. Could you lend me a couple of healing potions? I’d really appreciate it. I’ll pay you back, promise.”

  The kobolds went to work cutting even more strips of meat and fat off the dead man. They laid these on the glowing red heating surface. In seconds, the flesh began to sizzle, bubble, and pop as it fried. The sight and smell put the kobolds into a hunger frenzy. They nattered away at each other like a big happy family around the dinner table while many arms reached in to flip pieces. Adults fed half-cooked chunks to the kids, who eagerly ate it all up and begged for more.

  “Wh-what’s that smell? It smells delicious. And it’s making me hungry. Which is weird because I don’t have a stomach anymore. I can see it though. Hanging in front of me. Alongside my intestines. I’d really like to put it back inside me if you could see yourselves to giving me some help.” A pause. “Hey. What’s that smell? What are you cooking? Wait. Wait, is that my friend? Kenny? Are you cooking Kenny? Are you eating him? You sick…” A deep breath. “That’s ok. It’s fine. Sorry I yelled. You can eat Kenny if you like. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. So if you could just, you know, give me a hand? Pull me out of here? And if you have anyone with really good sewing skills, I’d be super appreciative. Guys? Can you hear me up there? I don’t suppose one of you is a doctor?”

  Of course, everyone could hear. Kai and Spear shared a disturbed glance. This was going on for a really long time. The stupid adventurer just refused to die. Maybe it was skills or levels or something. Did other people level up? Actually, Kai had no idea, but he guessed they did. That was typical gamelit stuff when people were sent to a new world. If it had happened to Kai, others probably had gone through something similar.

  Spear groaned in pain and levered himself off the floor to stand again, much to his grandmother’s protestations. He bent over, picked up his nice new spear, and, while holding one arm close to his body to protect his injured shoulder, walked over to the edge of the pit. He extended the spear down into the pit trap.

  The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

  “Oh! Oh, thank you! You beautiful soul. You wonderful hum—, er, mons—, er, you beautiful person. Thank you so much for rescuing me. You won’t regret it, I swear. Let me just grab hold of this. Thank you. Argh. My hand is really weak right now, but I’m trying. I’ve just lost so much blood. But thank you for this. From this day forward, I’ll dedicate my entire life to paying you back for this incredible act of faith and forgiveness. I… Hey, wait. What are you doing? Are you pushing me deeper? You are. You’re pushing me further down into the pit just to shut me up, aren’t you? You can’t do this! I’m an adventurer. I’m in good standing with the guild. I’m…I’m a good, er decent, uh, I’m a person, dammit! Ok, so I’ve done a few things I’m not so proud of, but please, you have to help me. I don’t want to die at the hands of a bunch of fucking bronze-rank mobs — wait! I didn’t mean it! Stop pushing. Please! Arghlsh. One of my lungs was just pulled out. Stop before the other one—“ The sound abruptly cut out at long last.

  Spear pulled the weapon out of the pit trap. He and Kai shared another glance. Neither looked down into the hole. The kobold put the spear down on the floor. Then, he joined his fellows around the stove. The kobolds enthusiastically sliced off more pieces of Kenny and roasted the meat. Hot grease dripped down their reptilian mouths, and the dungeon filled with the scent of meat cooking. The kobolds were small, and the human carcass was quite large. It quickly turned into a bit of a party. Whatever they’d been running from, the way they were overflowing with happy relief, they must not have believed they’d survive.

  Kai was really moved by the sight. For the first time in a really long time, maybe ever, he felt really good about having done something that mattered. He felt like he’d gained a little more self-worth as a person.

  He quietly backed away from the cheerful, feasting group of saved refugees and returned to the Admin Area, saying nothing. He returned a few moments later with a loaf of bread in each arm. The kobolds cheered in unison, even more excited. Kai felt his chest swell. They ripped the bread into pieces, passed them out, and laid chunks of charred Kenny inside, like Kenny hamburgers. One yanked a section of intestines out of the adventurer, tied off the ends, and roasted it like a sausage before making a Kenny hot dog out of it. It had to be said that kobolds were not the type to waste any part of their food. It was clear that they were going to eat every scrap of flesh from the adventurer’s bones.

  Kai wasn’t sure that giving them a taste for human meat, which they evidently enjoyed from all the happy chatter and lip-smacking, was a good idea. No helping it though. Kai made a mental note to find more slimes to take care of yet another corpse down in the pit. Assuming it was a corpse by now. The man had stopped speaking, probably on account of not having lungs inside of his body. By all that was right, he should have perished by now. Kai frowned and looked over at the pit. Then he heard those now-familiar chimes in his head.

  Level 5!

  He pumped his fist. “Woo! There it is!” Hot butter, he was on a dinner roll. “Five levels down, only ninety-five to go. Progress, baby! Freakin’ progress!” He was so thrilled! Wow, did it ever feel good to make measurable progress in life. You can see a path forward, and when you take steps, you can actually achieve something if you try hard, get really lucky, and don’t die.

  Seeing the pit trap finally close again, Kai walked over. He knew the system had turned traps off for him and the minions, but he wanted them to see for themselves. Hiding his nerves, he gingerly stepped onto the trap. Thankfully, it held, and he did not plummet to his painful death. He turned and waved to the kobolds. “Hey! Look. The traps won’t activate for us. Only people or creatures who aren’t official residents like us. Safe!” He bounced up and down on his toes to prove the point. Again, he ignored the tingle he felt up his spine, like the kind you get when you are standing on a glass floor and feel like it could break at any moment and let you fall.

  Several kobolds looked up from their happy meal and waved in acknowledgement. It wasn’t enough to take them away from the feast though.

  Kai smiled at the pleasant scene. Well, pleasant from a certain perspective. If one wasn’t biased regarding the partially cut-up human adventurer being served for dinner. The decapitated corpse made Kai think of the missing head. Curious, he turned to the hall and stairs and went to check the bear trap.

  Sure enough, the head was there, sitting perfectly gruesomely in the steel jaws of the trap, eyes bugging out, mouth open in a surprised and pained snarl, blood absolutely everywhere. The head was firmly in place, and there was no way that Kai had the strength to open the thing by himself. He’d need the system to do that. So he backtracked and returned to the kobold room, then took the back stairs to Admin.

  At the Admin console, he reset the bear trap, which would allow him to pluck the head out. Maybe the kobolds would like it? Were human eyes and cheeks a delicacy like they were for fish? The brains, maybe? The idea made him gag, but if giving the head made them happy, that’s what mattered more. Kai walked over to the secret door to the first floor and then slid it open, intent on retrieving the rogue’s lost head.

  Darkness blotted out the room. He couldn’t see a thing beyond the door.

  Kai stopped with his hand on the door and stared hard, confused. He could usually see better in dim light.

  The darkness waddled around in a turn to face him. The owlbear’s terrifying yellow eyes looked down at him.

  “Ahhhhhh!”

  “Screeeech!”

  “Ahhhhh!”

  “Roooaar!