How are you, my child? You’ve been through so much. I’m proud of your resilience. You were once lost, my little lamb, but there are others out there who will need you to shepherd them through this dark world. The children will need a mother to nurture and protect them. You’ve been chosen for a great pilgrimage. His words still echo inside my head.

  The Quickrail moves too fast for me to see anything out the window besides a blur of colors. I can't remember the last time I was on one; it must have been when I was much younger, before things got bad and then even worse. The last few days have been a blur. Waking up in the middle of an empty warehouse with flashing memories of agony and suffering that abruptly ended made me get on the next Quickrail out of town. The Docks just kept drudging up bad feelings. A sharp pain goes through my head, and I grit my teeth to brace for it. I can tell it's going to be one of the bad ones. The noise and light are overstimulating and threatening to make me faint. The Quickrail attendant is pushing a cart of snacks, cold meals, and drinks along, stopping next to me.

  “Hello, would you like anything to drink or eat?” He asked.

  I reach for him much faster than he's expecting and brush his hand with my finger. One touch and the pain is gone. Well, my pain. The attendant stumbles, grabbing an empty seat before he falls over. I instantly feel better, relief washing over me. He stands up, glaring at me, but his features immediately soften. I reach over to his cart and take a few candy bars and some water. He won't mind, and he won't tell anyone.

  I'm not sure what the last stop on this Quickrail is, and I don't care. Crimton represents the worst part of my life, and I won't stop until I'm several states away. It's where I died; well, it's where Natalie died. God himself visited me at my lowest moment and fixed me, making me healthier, better, and stronger. I passed His trial and came out transformed. My brain keeps replaying His blinding form, His pleasant voice, and then His gifts. God is so handsome. It only makes sense that He would be, but I feel impure for thinking it. It’s lust, and lust is sinful. I was chosen, and I need to act like it.

  “Zero, can you hear me?”

  I whip my head around, looking for the source of the voice. But the train car is basically empty, besides a family sitting toward the front. Wait, I recognize the voice.

  “Zero, if you can hear me, then respond. I need you to answer out loud.”

  “Hello?” I said.

  “I knew you would not fail me, my child. You have been chosen to shoulder a great burden and embark on a pilgrimage. Do you feel up to this task?”

  “Yes. This humble servant is yours to command. I will do whatever you need,” I said eagerly.

  “I had hoped I could count on you, and it brings me great happiness to hear you accept.”

  My heart nearly stops in joy at His words. A lifetime of wading through the nothing that was my life, and now I could leave that behind. He needs me. God needs me.

  “You are to be my shepherd and gather the misunderstood. The ones forsaken and shunned by society. You will grow your flock, and then you will help me cleanse the darkness of the world. The world has grown complacent and weak, and a change is needed. A great change you will help usher in. We must cut out the infection, burn away the rot, and salt the ground.”

  “I won’t let you down. I will not betray the trust you have placed in me. Where can I find the lost?” I asked.

  “Go west, my child. You will find the first of the lost in Casper, Wyoming. Do not let the ignorant impede you. I will speak to you again soon.”

  And just like that, I was alone again. A sense of sadness and loneliness briefly fills me. I have a purpose, and I will spread His message to everyone. I take a glance over at the digital screens to see where this Quickrail is going. There’s a Quickrail Nexus in Ohio I can use to get to Colorado, and from there, get to Casper. I should be able to get to Wyoming in about ten hours.

  “Yeah, she keeps talking to herself, and it’s making my wife and my family uncomfortable. We paid good money for these tickets, and now our ride is being disturbed. She looks like a dirty thug, and she’s dressed like some kind of prisoner.”

  The husband is talking to the attendant, pointing at me, and not bothering to keep his voice low.

  How dare they? I was communing with our Lord above. This is what He meant about the darkness of the world. I’m so angry as I walk toward the family; all I can think about is hurting them. My headache is starting to ramp up as I get closer. I swipe a fork from the attendant’s cart and plunge it into the husband’s eye while I tap his forehead. They disrespected Him. The man screams, reaching for the fork, but stops as the chemical spreads through him. The wife tries to reach for me but immediately stops. The attendant is standing there like a statue. My gifts. He would never let them hurt His shepherd. The husband has stopped resisting even as blood gushes out of the eye socket. I pull the fork out, and bits of his eye come with it. What is that noise? They have a little girl who can’t be older than five, and she is the source of the noise. She’s screaming and crying.

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  “Don’t cry, sweetheart. Everything is going to be okay. He has a plan, and He will make everything okay. Why don’t you tell me your name?”

  I sit down in front of the little girl so that her father is on my right. This little one is blameless for the actions of her parents. They are heretics, but children are born without sin. I reach out to her, wiping her tears. I activate my power, calming the child with euphoric warmth. Her tears stop as I continue until she’s smiling and giggling.

  “Melanie,” she whispered.

  “What a pretty name for a pretty girl,” I said.

  Melanie smiles, beaming at my compliment.

  “Hand me a knife, dear,” I said to the attendant.

  The knife splits open my left wrist, and blood spills out onto the carpeted floor, soaking into it. Anything for my God. I touch the mother’s hand, using another of His gifts to transfer the wound to her. Then I repeat with my right wrist. The woman’s wrists bleed out even while she remains docile. He provided me with four gifts, all suited to my mission. I feel a warmth inside my chest, a contentedness I haven’t felt before. My life was not a good one before Him. Even if my memories are scrambled, the feelings remain, and there’s nothing but pain in my past.

  “Sweetheart, would you like some candy? I have a lot, but it tastes better when you share,” I said, offering her a candy bar.

  “Sure. Mommy normally doesn’t let me have any candy; she says only piggies eat candy,” the little girl said.

  “Well, she’s being a meanie. Your mommy and daddy are going to take a nap soon, so let’s try to be quiet. Good kids get candy, and you’re obviously a good kid, aren’t you?”

  “Yes!” She said, biting into the chocolate.

  I wipe the blood off my hands on the man’s pants. I don’t want to get any of it on the candy. The two of us sit together and enjoy our snacks as the Quickrail ride continues. What a pleasant little girl.

  “Umm, I have to go to the bathroom. Mommy and Daddy get mad when I wake them up,” she said.

  “No problem, Melanie. I’ll go with you, and we’ll find the bathroom together,” I said.

  “Thanks, Miss, umm, what’s your name, miss?” Melanie asked.

  “Zero, honey. I’m Zero.”

  “Zero isn’t a name, silly goose; it’s a number,” Melanie said.

  “It can be both, and it isn’t nice to laugh at people’s names. You have to be kind and strong for what’s to come. He is watching us, and we should only show our best selves to Him,” I said, standing up.

  “Sorry, Miss Zero. But who’s watching?”

  I lift Melanie up as I step over her dead parents, both fallen out of their seats onto the floor. Wouldn’t want her to get blood on her shoes. I place her down and offer my hand to hold—safety buddies.

  “God is watching. And He wants us to be better,” I answered.

  “Is God important?” Melanie asked.

  “Your parents should have taught you about him, but their failures are plentiful, so I am not surprised. God is the most important person in the world. It is by His guidance and power that I can stand here today to meet you.”

  “God sounds like a nice man,” she said.

  “He is, and he has given me a very important mission to complete.”

  “He did? What kind?”

  “A great and grand adventure,” I answered.

  “A grand adventure?”

  “Yes, would you like to go with me?”

  “Mommy and Daddy won’t let me. They don’t let me have fun,” she said sadly.

  “Well, they’re gone now. So if you want to come, you can,” I said, continuing to send more of the chemical into Melanie.

  “Okay. A grand adventure, but can we go after I go to the bathroom?”

  Such a cutie. The two of us go to the door, separating the different Quickrail sections. The automatic door opens, and we walk into the next car. There are a lot more people sitting in here, but I spot the bathroom. All around us, people react to the blood on my clothes and shoes. One particularly large man gets up and makes a move toward me. But my power activates, and he sits back down. I knock at the bathroom door and then enter, bringing Melanie with me. She hops onto the toilet seat while I wash my face and hands.

  The woman in the mirror looks so different from the one in my memories. I look healthy instead of underweight and strung out. Still, you can see the damage I did to myself, and I look older than I think I should be. My eyes have a clarity they’ve lacked for years, and I even have all my teeth again. Granted, a lot of them are metal now. My head is shaved now, but it’ll grow back, and I also have a new scar from some surgery. A surgery I don’t remember. Melanie finishes up, and I make sure she washes her hands thoroughly before we exit the bathroom. As we’re walking back to our seats, I put the hand not holding Melanie’s onto a random woman. I shift all my scars and the harm my old lifestyle did to my skin over to her. Now, I’m unblemished and hopefully look my real age. His shepherd should be pure and clean.

  People are whispering fearfully and staring at me like I’m a rabid dog. How dare they? I put Melanie down on an open seat. I walk over to the large man whose hands are as big as my head, and the rest of his body is just as huge. Scratching my nail across his cheek doesn’t even make him move; he continues staring ahead blankly. My thumb stops right in front of his left eye, and I use the rest of my hand to hold him still. Five, four, three, two, one. My thumbnail jabs into his eye, tearing the cornea as I jostle it around. Blood drips out of the hole as I pull my thumb out. His eye is burst, mangled beyond recognition. Inspiration strikes me. If these people can’t see the glory in God’s plan, then they do not need eyes. All I need is that knife in the other car. I wipe the blood covering my finger onto the head of a woman in the shape of a cross. The other passengers cower like scared mice as I walk by them. They are willingly blind to His light, so I shall make their bodies resemble their souls.