7:57 PM; March 26th, 20XX

  I was highly aware of what I had said. I was even more aware of his shift in energy after we had sufficiently satisfied The Nagayoshis. We made no notice of it that night, but after 3 days; maybe it did need to be addressed. It was only fifteen days, maybe I was being a little overzealous that this was going to work out perfectly…but then again, he wasn’t making it hard to feel that way. The morning after, we busied ourselves with the rest of my protection detail, Elion and Ryoma working quickly to assemble eight, might I say, gorgeously lethal women to stand at my call at all times. As I believed that every black woman was an angel of some sort, I decided that their code names should reflect that. Eight angels of death, all at my bidding.

  Azrael, Berberos, Mikhail, Samael, Sauriel, Dumah, Yama and Yami. The last two were twins, so I had chosen for their names to match so they’d always be connected. Kazu was correct in saying that I also got to choose what they were to wear, which turned out to be nice dark green suits with a Brazilian orchid lapel to represent me & a Nagatsuchi Clan lapel to represent Kazu. Their loyalty to him was as important as mine. I wouldn’t have this if it wasn’t for him.

  After the security detail, came the moving in. Yes, it was fifteen days; but I would be mental if I tried to abstain from the fact that I wanted to be around Kazu all the time. Just like he wanted to wake up to me, I wanted to do the same. I wanted to sit in silence with him as we enjoyed our morning coffee or get ready together before heading to the office. It was only better that those mornings also included Ken and Kurenai; who happened to simply attach themselves to me too; that attachment evident by their overall excitement to my moving in.

  The fifteenth day happened to be the first night I was officially moved in; so I busied myself with cooking dinner for Kazu, Ken and Kurenai. I wanted to be domestic for them, I felt exactly how I wanted, kept. As I bothered with a homey Brazilian meal of Feijoada, Kazu came up behind me; his hands around my neck as he adorned it with a necklace.

  “K-Kazu, what’s this?” My reaction jumpy as I tapped the spoon on the pot and lowered the fire, my attention to him fully as I looked down to the necklace now adorning my neck. A sweet smile on his beautiful face. “Something that I came across while helping the designer fix up your closet. The four leaf clover makes sense, you are my lucky charm.”

  “That’s sweet, I’m embarrassed though, if I knew we’d exchange gifts, I would’ve gotten you something.” With a lift of my chin, he gave me a quick peck, our faces close.

  “You’ve gifted me enough, trust me.” I didn’t question him only because I had an idea of what he meant. He had heard those words as clearly as I tried to say them. Whether it was fifteen days, months or years; I honestly felt that way.

  8:12 PM;

  “This is fantastic, Airla. Thank you so much for making it.” Ken complimented sweetly, his once darker grey eyes much lighter. He seemed happier, why? No clue, but I preferred him like this instead. “Oh it’s no big deal, I do have to keep my two men nice and strong.”

  His cheeks lit up at my compliment, another bite. Dinner was going well until Ichi, one of Kazu’s eight, came to his side and whispered in his ear. Kazu had a fantastic poker face, so it was hard to tell if whatever was being told was good or bad. I did feel a shift in his energy, maybe it was bad.

  “Thank you, Ichi. Have Shi & Kyuu handle the rest of it.” He sighed for a long second, his eyes closed as he slowly clenched his fist. The smile Ken had was long faded, same with Kurenai’s. Oh, it was bad.

  “What’s going on?”

  I could see the hesitation on Kazu’s face. Ken sighed. “Don’t withhold it from her, Kazuhito. That never ends well.”

  “Yes, thank you, Ken.” Kazu huffed, standing up. His eyes darted to me, now it was a concern. What the hell was going on? “Baby, accompany me to the balcony. There’s something I need to tell you.”

  “O-okay.” I didn’t press, I was glad enough to be told of whatever the issue was as opposed to the other option that he would’ve taken had Ken not told him something. Taking my hand, our fingers interlocked quickly. I barely had a chance to collect myself as I followed behind him, the chilly March air hitting my skin as we stepped outside.

  With a heavy sigh, he looked out into the city; the lights dancing on his skin. “I have…unpleasant news to share. I hate that I have to tell you, but given the circumstances, it’s only right you do.”

  “First, what are these circumstances?" And second, if it’s unpleasant, is it necessary that I know? I don’t like holding on to bad energy.”

  “Yes, Airla. It’s necessary.” Calling me by name. It really was bad.

  “Then tell.” I took my hand back, holding it to my chest. I hated receiving bad news, I hated hearing about it just the same. I had a happy life, a positive one. I preferred to keep it that way.

  “Asha.” He paused. “She’s gone. So is every woman who was employed by her at the time of her demise.”

  Gone?

  What…

  …No.

  ??

  8:39 PM

  Would my father accept anger as a reasonable defense? Would he stand by me if I chose violence? If I destroyed everything he worked for? For her?

  My heart ached at the sight in front of me. Airla’s serene face, wet with tears. A crying angel was the closest comparison. Her usually strong shoulders had dropped, her body cocooning into mine as I allowed her tears to wet my shirt. There was nothing I could say that wasn’t soaked with vitriol. Carrying her out of the cold, the warmth of the couch was the best I could do. For now. Ken and Kurenai stood behind me, the energy shift was different. I had to step away from the domestic and loving side of me, my woman was hurt. That deserved the other version of me and more.

  “Is there anything we can do?” Kurenai asked gently as she did her best to not take too much attention from Airla.

  “(In Japanese) Assure the safety of her parents, friends and whoever has come in contact with her.”

  “(In Japanese) Sir, I understand the circumstances, but if I do that, her parents will know.” Airla and I hadn’t spoken about telling her parents about my life. It wasn’t necessarily important for them to know. I was more than happy playing the Wall Street boyfriend if it assured their safety somehow. I was daft to think that Ikuto wouldn’t eventually force my hand and do something to change my mind.

  “(In Japanese) Do you have a better fuckin’ idea? Do as I fucking say.”

  Kurenai recoiled, standing to attention. “I apologize, sir. I’ll get on that right away.” There was a slight hurt in her voice, I knew it was something I would have to address later; but her feelings weren’t my concern right now. She swiftly stepped out after, leaving Ken in her place.

  “(In Japanese) You didn’t have to speak to her like that, Kazuhito. She still has feelings.”

  “Then go deal with those feelings. You’re dismissed.” I sneered back, my grip on Airla’s shoulder tighter as she sniffled in my arms. Ken sighed, leaving us. Another blow to the peace we had developed, all thanks to that motherfucker. Airla’s body was jumpy as she calmed down, the grip on my shirt still as tight. This wasn’t how I expected my night to go. This certainly wasn’t how I expected our relationship to strengthen. Looking up at me, her eyes yearned for security; I just didn’t know how to provide that to her so swiftly.

  “It was him, wasn’t it?” Her voice was raspy from her crying, flattering to say the least.

  “I’m glad you’ve made the connection without mentioning his name.”

  “It's not hard to make the connection. I tie all of us together.”

  “By no means is this any of your fault. I didn’t think Ikuto would stoop so low, but…” I had to tell her. I had to let her know that my incessant fucking need to show off might’ve been the start of all this.

  “But what?”

  “…It’s understandable for the retaliation given what I did to him. I just wanted to spend time with you; I didn’t think of the consequences.”

  “Kazu, what the hell did you do to him?”

  “I sent out a hit just so he would be indisposed for your 2nd meeting. I didn’t want his hands on you again, so I thought with my ass and not my head.” She pulled back, so much as getting off my lap and standing up.

  “…My friend is dead because…of you.” Not the recoil, not from you. Please. She stepped back a step, causing further distance. I didn’t reach for her to not anger her, but my hand desperately wanted to.

  “I had them only injure him slightly. I wasn’t trying to start a war.”

  “So my friends became collateral so you could show off? Do you fucking hear yourself? My friends…are dead!” I understood her anger, I just didn’t want to be on the receiving end. Turning to not look at her, I didn’t mean it out of disrespect; I just couldn’t take her looking at me like that.

  “I thought he would retaliate against me, personally. I was obviously mistaken.”

  “Take me home. Now.” She demanded, her distance even greater. I obviously wasn’t going to let her.

  “Baby, you are home and it’s not safe that you’re alone.”

  “Take me fucking home! I’ll obviously be fine, I’ll have eight fucking people up my ass!” She sneered, that pretty face of hers wrapped in an emotion I never thought would be directed towards me. She didn’t want to be near me; understandably so. I still refused to leave her alone.

  “Ken will take you home.”

  ??

  Of course I’d be stuck in the middle. Of course Kazu would pull me away from comforting Nai to stand in for him. Of fucking course.

  Airla and I were on our way back to her apartment, a heavy silence between us as Takashi drove us. Her shift in attitude was understandable, I just didn’t expect them to have what others would consider a fight only fifteen days into their relationship. I had nothing to add but condolences, so I kept to myself.

  “Has he always been that drastic?”

  “Being born with a silver spoon in your mouth breeds that kind of behavior, unfortunately.”

  “My friends are dead, Ken. All because he wanted to show off. My Asha is gone.” The pain in her voice was heart wrenching. Whatever connection she had with Asha was a deep one, her reaction to Kazu’s involvement was fathomable. I understood her completely. If Nai or Kazu ever be taken from me; who knows what I’d do. I’d be doubly conflicted if it was because of Kazu that Nai was taken from me.

  “I know. There’s nothing I could say to diminish the gravity of the situation. I am sorry that the reality of being involved in the Yakuza came at you so quickly. You barely had time to adjust.”

  “This can’t be the price for adjusting, it can’t be.”

  “It is. I’m not going to coat the truth. I’ve lost too much to do so. While there was once a window of opportunity for you to step away from this; that has now been shut. Ikuto is fully aware of you and your connection to Kazu, that’s why he pulled this off.”

  “They were innocent.”

  “No, to Ikuto, they were fair game. There’s a certain evil that festers in this life, none of us can escape it. Ikuto’s darkness is generational, he’s willing to burn it all down to prove a point.”

  “What fucking point?”

  “The point that he, Kazu and every powerful man loves to express. Don’t fuck with them.”

  She scoffed. Even in her sadness, there was still this wave of confidence that engulfed her. “Did they ever think of not fucking with me?” Certainly not something I expected from her. I wondered if this version of Airla always existed, had she fooled us into assuming that she wouldn’t hurt a fly? Did we assume her to be a damsel in distress just because of how mesmerized we all were? Did her beauty really blind us or did her body?

  “Airla, there’s not much that can be done. It wasn’t a direct retaliation against the family, so while yes, it’s unfortunate that your friends have been caught in the middle, Nagatsuchi-Sama would much rather keep peace.”

  “So I’m supposed to bury my friends and my feelings about this whole ordeal because of how Kazu’s father feels? What about my feelings?”

  “Your feelings became irrelevant once you involved yourself with Kazuhito. What he wants, what his father wants, will always take precedence. If you don’t want to deal with that, take it as your sign to leave.” She turned to me quickly, her face scrunched in offense. I wasn’t going to sugarcoat this existence or shine a positive light on it in any form. My story had me confined to this life, she still had a chance.

  “I’ll make the choice on whether I want to leave on my own time, thank you.” A slight scoff as she turned away from me, her eyes focused on the passing lights instead.

  10:19 PM

  How is she?

  She’s still angry.

  I could have told him that I might have suggested for her to leave, but I didn’t need his vitriol too. Besides, I’m sure Airla would let him know once they got to a better place. That’s why she looked so offended, in no part of her brain did she think of leaving Kazu. She was just as obsessed with him as he with her; I wouldn’t be sitting in her living room if she wasn’t.

  Do whatever she asks of you. Regardless of nature.

  She’s mourning, Kazu. What could she ask me?

  ??

  “Don’t cry for me when I die, it’s unladylike.” Asha muttered as we enjoyed a drink after a rather stressful night. Her client had decidedly snapped after she had told him that she was retiring to Madam status. He felt inclined to her body, demanding she leave with him and leave it all behind. She obviously wasn’t doing that, so she was forced to pull out her weapon of defense.

  “Asha, please. You’re my friend, why wouldn’t I cry for you?”

  “Because it’s unladylike and I might’ve brought it on myself. Do something fun instead, fuck a hot guy, go shopping, anything but sit in a dark room and cry about me.”

  “What if I can’t do that?” I sat next to her, my hand on her thigh. She patted my hand, a smile on her face.

  “Then you’re not really my friend. I’d respect whatever weird wish you had. My own family wouldn’t cry for me, my friends don’t need to either.”

  “Can I cry a little?”

  “Only a bit.”

  ??

  11:56 PM

  I found myself restless on Airla’s couch. We had made it in and she had beelined for her bedroom, leaving me to my wares. I could and should have left to comfort Nai instead, but Airla’s eight in the lobby would have absolutely let Kazu know. I would hear her sniffles from the door and ask if she was alright, all I received was silence.

  I wasn’t the person she wanted. She, just like Kazu, would deny that of course.

  Her bedroom door did eventually open, her eyes tired and puffy from her crying. Even distraught, she was still breathtaking. Her nightgown trailed off her shoulder as she dragged herself to me, plopping between my legs and resting her head on my lap. My hand hesitated to touch her, I didn’t want to assume.

  “Has anyone ever questioned why you haven’t left?” Her voice tremulous as she spoke, eyes still on the ground.

  “No. There is no me without this family. I don’t have the same freedoms you’ve been bestowed, so that’s not a question I’ve ever had to answer.”

  “Would you leave if you could?”

  “No.” I had no reason to explain myself, I was intrinsically bound to this family; there was no existence of mine where I wouldn’t be devout to them. There was not a single existence where life had meaning unless I was killing, for them. Airla dismissed my answer, but it truly was the only one I had.

  “…You don’t want to leave for the same reason that I do. You’re just not going to admit it.”

  “What reason could that possibly be, Airla? There is nothing that links us besides Kazuhito.”

  “Exactly my point. You’re audacious enough to tell me to leave knowing well that his family isn’t why you won’t leave, it’s him. You’re bound to him like I am, probably more so.”

  “I’m bound to him because I have to protect him. Nothing more.” That was a lie, I knew that.

  “So why fuck him? Fuck me at his order? Why do all these things when you’re only here to protect him?”

  I felt uneasy as she questioned me. The walls I had placed up when it came to my feelings were being blasted through, striking me in a way that I had assumed I grew out of. Her russet brown eyes burned into me as she awaited an answer that she knew was a complete fabrication. This was the reason. This is why I kept questioning myself as I fucked, kissed and caressed her. Where devotion felt sane even if I received nothing in return…

  The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  “Change the subject.” I refused to answer her the way she deserved, I didn’t need to be investigated this way. I deserved privacy for my feelings about her, Nai and Kazu.

  “Why, so you could keep lying to yourself yet judge me for making the same decision?” Even questioning me, she still remained close. Even as invaded by her as I felt, I still wanted to kiss her to stop her from probing any longer; I knew her weaknesses meant my privacy. Taking her face, I held her chin, never too rough as my intention was never to scare her.

  “No, because I rather you use me as a distraction instead of invading my fucking privacy.” Her eyes widened at my response, a slight hesitation of breath. “You’re doing this to avoid mourning your friend, to avoid stewing ideas that you wouldn’t be allowed to commit to due to the gravity of the results. You’re no different than Kazu, that’s why you can’t leave, not because of whatever I might hold precious.” Her eyes darted away, anything to assure what I severely lacked. It was my turn to wait for a response that wasn’t going to come, she knew exactly my implication and knowing her nymphomaniac tendencies, she would fold. Just like Kazu would any time we’d had disagreements as younger men.

  “…How I chose to mourn Asha is none of your business.”

  “Then walk away.” I grazed her lower lip, an asinine request, but she was so easily readable. She didn’t think I noticed the grip of my thigh, the slight turn of her body to kneel needfully in front of me. Still, no answer. But no, I needed to be sure that she wouldn’t prod again, even if that meant digging into the version of myself that I kept locked away. “Exactly, you won’t. Now go on, mourn her exactly how you planned on.” She had her reason for sitting on the ground, for sitting in between my legs. I read right through her plans, just like she hoped I would. With my finger still on her lip, I parted them open, the tip of her tongue moistening the tip of my finger. “Let’s get that mouth of yours ready, why don’t we?”

  With no pushback, she sucked on my index and middle fingers, the same enthusiasm she’d soon show my cock. I watched her quietly as she did, her eyes not meeting mine. I’d get the eye contact eventually, I had no rush; just like the first time.

  12:20 AM; March 27th, 20XX

  Has she calmed down yet? I’d like to see her if that’s okay.

  I scoffed at the text message, my other hand busy with an array of coily curls. I still hadn’t gotten the eye contact that she had so confidently given me during our first encounter. I didn’t crave it, but I’m sure Kazu did. “Kazuhito wants to know if you’re calm, what should I say?” I bit my lip, she wasn’t going to speak, my cock was too deep in her mouth anyways. I chuckled instead, snapping a picture and swiftly sending it. I waited for a response, the bubbles soon disappearing. For always having something to say, what bliss was it to finally shut him up with little work.

  I loved Kazu, dearly.

  So dearly that I could admit my annoyance with his existence sometimes. I loathed the way he dragged me into his issues, whether Yakuza or otherwise, but I knew my responsibility to him and his safety; so I did it with no hesitation. All my life consisted of him, I had no choice in what I wanted, I couldn’t dream because of him, I couldn’t see a future where I’d be a father or a husband without being dragged down by the darkness of the Yakuza. So instead of hating him, I simply indulged in the darkness, just as he and every man did.

  Airla gagged slightly, coming up for air. My hand still sitting on her head as she breathed quietly, “Did I tell you to stop?” I asked quietly, a quick dart of her eyes and then a nod; her mouth back on my tip. “Good girl.” The shyness was endearing, I didn’t want this version of her though. I wanted the version that pulled my pants down in the office, the one who begged me to fuck her. I understood she was mourning, but she shouldn’t have probed. I wasn’t going to wait until she begged though, I needed my fill.

  “I’d like to fuck you now, turn around.” I expected a pause given her mindset, I shouldn’t have assumed. With a swiftness she stood up, turning around and lifting her night dress. No panties, just her bare ass. I knew her reasons, I knew her ploys. I was just here to satisfy them. Holding her by her leg, I pulled her closer; my fingers grazing her entrance, wet, as expected. “Look at you, mourning your friend but yet can't let go of those licentious thoughts, huh?”

  “…No.”

  “Beg for it then. Let those sordid thoughts speak for themselves.” She refused to give me an answer or work into my ploy, rather she just stepped back and sat on my cock; the length of me simply disappearing inside her.

  “She wouldn’t like me to beg for it, prove her wrong.”

  There she was, the woman that I desired. The woman, regardless of her feelings, still decided to put me first. Wanting to prove herself, she let my hands rest on her hips as she took over the reigns and fucked me, my eyes fixated on her derrière as it shook with every thrust. Her nails dug into my knees as she held on, her moans minimal as she tried to hold herself back. Pulling her back, she yelped at the sensation of my doing so, the result causing my cock to press directly into her g-spot. “There’s the voice I like, don’t hold back for the sake of your friend, I don’t think she’d like that.”

  “…leave her out of this.” She huffed, my hand around her neck as I got by her ear, biting her lobe. “Why? Is she not the reason for your doing this? For the tears? The invasion of my privacy? She’s too involved, I’ll say.” I took over the fucking, I was growing impatient. Holding her arms behind her back, I took away her sense of touch as I thrusted into her, the bouncing of her coils and clinking of necklaces filling the room.

  No response, yet again.

  The squeezing of my cock assured me there would be none.

  ??

  12:58 AM

  I had kept my distance after Kazu’s outburst. I had sadly taken the assumption that because we had laid together, somehow I’d get the continued kindness that Airla has been afforded. Even after watching Ken take her home, I felt a certain sadness consume me as I would’ve preferred his comfort instead of his duties. I remained in my bedroom, the space usually occupied by Ken untouched. A quick knock on my door, Kazu’s towering self laying back on the frame.

  “You could’ve come out once they left.”

  “I didn’t think you wanted company, sir.”

  “Drop the honorifics, Kurenai.” I squeezed my fists as he asked that of me; funny given that he didn’t care of the honorifics when he asked me to do my fucking job. I debated on crossing the line of disrespect, was it worth it? Would I gain anything from it? Would he give me the same leeway he gives Ken? He walked into the bedroom, taking a seat by the loveseat that Ken had taken a liken to, his reading chair, I’d say. “I told you about that.”

  “Sir, I’m sorry but that’s not going to apply in my bedroom. I’d prefer to be alone now if you don’t mind, so please.”

  “I know you’re upset with me because of the way I spoke to you. I shouldn’t have...” I waited for an actual apology, but knowing Kazu, this was probably the best I was going to get. I’d never heard him apologize in the time I’ve been around him, I don’t expect him to start now. “…I’m sorry. I let my feelings about Airla cloud my judgement when I should have been kinder to you, all you were doing was offering help and advice, as you always do.”

  My ears began to ring, there was no way I was hearing things right. There was no way that my boss was apologizing to me. There was no absolute way that this was coming from the kindness of his own heart. “Usually an apology comes with a request when it comes to you, what are you asking of me?”

  “Nothing, well, besides your companionship for the night.”

  Hmm, there it was. Companionship. He wouldn’t be requesting this of me had Airla stayed, I was just a distraction. “I’m not exactly in the mood for a companion, Kazuhito.”

  “If you’re doing this as respect to Ken, I’d second guess that if I were you.” He tossed his phone on my bed after a few clicks, my curiosity alight. Taking the phone, I was met with a picture of Airla’s head in between Ken’s thighs. Turning the phone over, I slid it away, clasping my eyes shut and taking a breath. Was I jealous? Why did it bother me to see that? I had done the same as him, but yet… This was the one time where he needed to be with me, not her.

  “Why show me?”

  “Why not? You keep having this assumption of Ken as this stoic, respectable man when he’s busy getting his cock sucked by my mourning woman.”

  I was protective of Ken, everything that made him who he is. I absolutely was going to jump to his defense, regardless if he was here or not. “Your mourning woman might’ve been the one to initiate it.”

  He chuckled, I might have crossed a line. “I wouldn’t put it past her. She loves to fuck. Her life has also drastically changed, so I wouldn’t be surprised at her new appreciation for life.” Apparently I didn’t. This version of Kazu was strange. I was expecting an immature and mean response, but no, he was completely casual of his woman interloping with Ken as a form of grief counseling. I knew we were all for a polyamorous relationship, but he still had so much learning of Airla to do before simply passing her over.

  “I want her happy, even if that means I’m not included. I also want you to be happy, so I have to show you that the person that has your heart is vital to that happiness too, I’m willing to step in when he can’t, just like he’s doing for me.” Again, my ears rang again. Who the hell was this person? Was this the result of Airla’s appearance in our lives? The softening of Kazuhito Nagatsuchi?

  “Are you asking to step in, Kazuhito?”

  “If you allow me, sure.”

  1:31 AM

  My feelings were the ones taking over; my sound mind wouldn’t have allowed them to. I was so tired. Tired of being strong all the time. Of holding in how I felt about the individuals around me. I loved Ken, I loved Kazu. I knew I would eventually love Airla too. The state of our relationship was so confusing right now…but I didn’t care, at least not right now. My hands were lost in Kazu’s dark locks as we shared a rather deep kiss on my bed. I had let my walls down for him, maybe out of respect. I still wanted to be alone. He came first.

  His kisses were gentle and slow, his slender hand holding the side of my neck as we would part at times, the breath between us heavy as we panted. His other hand would slip up my thigh and grab on, pressing his hardened member against me. By no means was I turned off by it, I just didn’t want to be responsible for doing something about it.

  “I’m not going to fuck you tonight, Kazuhito. I hope you’re aware.” A slight groan from him as he nuzzled into my chest, his grip on my thigh still. “That’s fine. Can I still stay?”

  “You can stay.” I patted his back, embracing the warmth of his hug. A slight chuckle from him as he caressed my thigh still. Settling into bed, I ended up being his big spoon; as I always have been in the figurative sense.

  “Kurenai?”

  “Hm?”

  “Thank you.”

  I would’ve and could’ve asked why, but the calming of his breathing and loosening of his grip gave me all the explanation I needed.

  ??

  1:34 AM;

  “Still dripping wet for me, huh? No wonder Kazu finds you so irresistible, you’re unrelenting.” I teased with a flick of her nipple, my other hand still busy with the subject in question. She was a mess, but did she stop? Did she push back? No, she didn’t, she wouldn’t. I had folded her enough where the only things leaving her mouth was my name and the request for more. I hadn’t bothered to move from the couch, getting her a new one was definitely something I needed to do on my own time. But for right now? I was still too engrossed in teaching her to never invade my privacy again.

  She panted softly on me as I kept on, the work of my fingers and cock doing wonders for her small frame as she shuddered and squeezed. Her orgasms coming closer and closer each time, a gentle reminder that it was time to end the lesson and begin the aftercare. I had a few more thrusts in me before I finally released, the warmth of her leaving a memorable imprint in my brain as the endorphins washed through. With a gentle croak of her voice, she looked up at me. “…I’m sorry.”

  “What could you possibly be apologizing for, darling?” I slipped out, taking her legs and finally holding her a little less vulgarly. Laying away from the wet spots, I laid back and caressed her head.

  “…I’m not sure. I just am.” Her voice lowered, her body nuzzling closer.

  “Well I accept your apology, let me know when you find out the reason.” A small chuckle and then she relaxed, her breathing soon leveling out and letting me know she was done for the night. I had an assumption of her reason, but I wasn’t going to take anymore from her, she’d tell me on her own time. Reaching for my phone, which had been carelessly thrown on the table, I opened up my messages to Kazu, finally answering his question.

  She’s okay now, I’ll have her in your arms by morning.

  ??

  7:36 AM;

  I took a sip of my tea as I read the last text message Ken had sent me, a wave of relief washing over me as once again, he had done the hard part for me. I knew there was still much to address given the people that were involved, Ken made that easier, just as he always did. Looking over my shoulder, Shi and Kyuu stepped into the living room, their under eyes darken from lack of sleep. Bowing, Shi sighed.

  “What you asked of us is complete, sir. Our contacts in the police department will make sure it doesn’t get out.”

  “Good job. Was Asha’s body still recognizable?”

  “…about that.” Kyuu muttered, his eyes to the ground.

  “Don’t leave me wondering, Kyuu. Out with it.” I rolled my eyes with a wave of my hand, I hated hesitation.

  “Her body wasn’t there. She was caught in her office, in her chair, yet no body was found.”

  “Are you implying that Asha might still be alive?”

  “I’m not sure, sir. With the amount of blood and bullets that we recovered, there’s no possible way she would’ve made it far. I caught an eye of her, she’s not much taller than Miss Airla herself.” I turned back to the window, this added complications that I didn’t need. Right now, Airla had the full assumption that her friend is dead; to tell her otherwise would spiral her into a headspace that I didn’t want to be responsible for. Sighing, I pushed my hair back and closed my eyes. Ikuto was going to pay for this tenfold eventually, but right now? I just wanted Airla.

  “Contact Elion for assistance in finding Asha’s whereabouts. Keep it under wraps until then, no mention of this to Airla or any of her guards, understood?”

  “Sir.” Both bowed before leaving me, the addition of new information causing me to go for a cigarette. I couldn’t handle seeing Airla’s saddened face the way I did, to see her pull away from me, to demand to want to be away from me; I couldn’t do that again. I didn’t want to do that again. I’d rather kill Ikuto with my bare hands than ever experience that again.

  8:08 AM;

  The number 8 has always been a favorite number of mine, from the significance of luck and prosperity to the western view of infinity when turned to its side. I held the number closely, that sentiment only increasing as Airla stepped through the doors with Ken at the time she did. She looked tired, given the circumstances and things that followed, I wasn’t surprised. Making a bee line for me once we met eyes, I held my arms open as she hugged me tightly and gripped to the back of my shirt as I held her. Ken nodded his head slightly, turning on his heels and allowing us a moment of solitude.

  “I’d hate asking how you’re feeling, it’s imperative I know though.” I asked, tucking a curl behind her ear.

  “I’m alright. Asha wouldn’t like it if I spent another second crying for her, so I’m trying my best not to.”

  “It’s alright if that’s all you want to do.” I assured her, while personally I’d go break someone’s neck; I understood wanting to huddle up and cry.

  “I don’t want to do that. I want to enjoy the life that Asha would want to enjoy, it would be unladylike of me otherwise.”

  “Then what would my lady like?”

  “Take me shopping, keep my mind busy. I’d paint, but that’s stationary and I don’t want to be…still.”

  “Then let’s get you moving.”

  ??

  I can’t say I didn’t love how attentively quick he was with my request. Within minutes, he rushed to get out of his robe; a simple wool shirt and cotton slacks, even with low effort, he was still beautiful. Before I knew it, we were on our way to his private garage, an array of cars waiting for him to choose. Going for a two seater, he held the door open for me, a smile on his face as he winked. The interior of the car was gorgeously slick, with black and red accents and a dashboard that looked damn near futuristic. Getting in the driver’s seat, he placed one hand on the wheel, the other on my thigh, a slight squeeze.

  “So tell me, baby girl. Do you have any places you’d like to shop at or do you want me to lead you?” I analyzed him for a second, his gorgeous peach skin fresh with sleep, his eyes bright with enthusiasm…god, he was truly so fucking breathtaking. Not hesitating for a moment, I took his face and pulled him in for a kiss; the kind of kiss where you want to be inside each other’s skin; melding together would be a better choice than separation. He didn’t push me back, his mouth warm and inviting as he allowed me to take lead and just get the frustration that I needed to get out, the anger that I couldn’t release any other way that would work in my favor, just like Ken had pointed out.

  His words had stayed with me in more ways than one, reminding me of my reality as Kazu’s woman and how much I’d expect to lose in exchange for having his love. I kissed him with tenacity, hating the small space of the car that prevented me from getting closer. Pulling back for breath, he held a rather lucid smile on his face, his cheeks flushed.

  “Should I ask more questions if that’s the result?”

  “I just…needed to get that out. I missed you.”

  “You were without me for less than 12 hours, baby girl. But, I understand the sentiment, I missed you too. Now, my question is still unanswered…”

  “Take the lead. I trust you.” Trusting him for something as small as this seemed enough for right now. I wanted to tell him something else…but the timing wasn’t right.

  9:48 AM;

  We ended up arriving at Hudson Yards, the large vessel sculpture glimmering in the sun. Driving into the parking lot, I noticed it was empty, which was weird given the location. Kazu noticed my confusion, chuckling as we stepped out of the car and headed towards the elevators.

  “It’s empty because it’s not open yet. But…it wouldn’t exist without my help. The steel used to build the spiral is Nagatsuchi steel, so I’m sure you can see why we’ve got free range.”

  “It’d be cool to shop the entire place alone, but it’s due to open soon, so…”

  “Is that what you want?”

  “I was just thinking out loud, I couldn’t possibly expect you to shut down the entire place for me.” He pulled his phone out his pocket, unlocking it and dialing quickly. Within minutes, I watched as he spoke to the redevelopment company and got the go ahead to shut the place down for the day. I was confused as to how he was able to pull that off, but extreme wealth was a confusing thing. It was mesmerizing to watch him speak his corporate lingo and chuckle with his companion on the phone. Soon after, we were off the elevator and there were our individual 8, all hands behind their backs as they waited to attention.

  “The whole place is locked down and secure for your safety, sir.”

  “Good. This better be the last time I see you, disperse.” He directed, they followed. I watched as they all inadvertently hid away, giving us the illusion of being completely alone. Taking my hand, he led me through the shiny interior of the yards, the luxury stores bright and sterile with their glass cases and expensive items. I was no stranger to luxury, my father’s familial legacy assuring that, yet Kazu’s wealth was on another level. Not a single tag on any of his clothes besides the signature from his tailor, the jewelry that he wore, made with the finest metals and jewels…his smell, almost too good. His hair, skin, nails; all perfect, just like him. His level of wealth was strange to me, even the men I once bedded, none of them came close to the level of quiet extravagance that Kazu held.

  We ended up in front of Cartier, the glistening stones catching my attention, the prices making my eyes widened. “$220,000 for a necklace? That’s a moderate home somewhere in the country.”

  “Rather small home, don’t you think?” He retorted, his expression confused by my statement.

  “No, I don’t think that at all. $200,000 for a necklace is insanity.”

  “Mm. I must be insane then. Anyways, I’d like to shower you in jewels, so why don’t we go make my wallet hurt? Rose gold would look nice on your naked skin.” His hand held my face, his thumb rubbing my warming cheek. I looked up at him as we stood in the silence, the imperative reality of being showered in jewels being a reality making the heat between my legs increase. The simplicity of being kept, how easily it turned me on. I tiptoed to kiss him again, this time a simple one; I wasn’t planning on leaving a mark at Hudson Yards.

  “Sure.”

  11:01 AM;

  “That’ll be $3.3 million, should I charge it to your black card or would you like for me to put it on your tab?” The salesperson asked as he looked up from the screen, a light in his eyes as this was absolutely going on his commission check. Kazu looked up from his seat, brows lifting in surprise.

  “Damn, I thought I’d at least hit $5 million, what a shame. Put it on my tab, I might add to it before the end of the month.” I watched him quietly as he took a sip of champagne, I was flabbergasted. In just an hour, I sat through multiple necklaces, watches, rings and the sorts, every single one being added to the aforementioned tab. Even if I showed minimal interest, Kazu still bought it. I ended up in a love* necklace, a rose gold option to Kazu’s white gold; the chain glimmering with his other necklaces as he waited for the associate to finish. Turning to me, he raised my chin. “I was right about the rose gold, I can’t wait to see how the other pieces dance on your skin.”

  “Kazu, when you said you’d shower me in jewels, I thought you were being facetious. I don’t know how I’ll go through all the things you’ve gotten me today.”

  “Eh, don’t think too hard about it. I still have items from a bunch of shopping trips that I’ve yet to touch. We have the rest of our lives, my love. You’ll have more than enough time to wear it all.”

  A sadness enveloped me as I fixated on the length of time I had, something that Asha hadn’t been afforded. I knew that Asha wouldn’t want me to dwell on anything, but she was gone. My friend was gone. I looked down at my hands, tears welling. Kazu noticed my mood shift, his hand on mine. “We can go home if you want, baby. You don’t need to be strong for me or anyone.” The tears were winning, a sniffle gave me a chance to push them back. He took that as a sign to get me out of there, thanking the associate and phoning his eight to retrieve our bags. I looked to the ground as I followed him, his hand tightly holding mine. The elevator was where my tears got the best of me, streaming down my face as Kazu held me closer.

  I didn’t want to cry, I didn’t want to disappoint Asha…

  But I couldn’t stop.

  I needed to cry.