Chapter 18

  Banana Quest

  IM: Greetings, everyone!

  EW: isaac shut the fcuk up were tryin to sleep

  EW: weve only been here like seven hours

  IM: Ok cool, I was about to ask about that

  IM: Apparently all our moons have different day/night cycles

  IM: except mine haha

  IM: and nobody keeps track of time in a way that corresponds to Earth

  IM: But I knew you’d be keeping track

  EW: dont care bro

  EW: well fuck im awake now

  EW: thanks

  KC: hey guys!

  EW: yo

  EE: I am here as well. Also just awoken.

  IM: Well SORRY everyone! I don’t know how you guys are still sleeping

  EW: you need to chill bro

  KC: is Heidi here?

  HS: I’m here.

  IM: So our first order of business: status reports

  IM: We all okay?

  EE: Incorrect.

  EW: all cool over here bro

  KC: incorrect?

  HS: Why is he in charge?

  EE: Our first order of business is establishing contact with Jimothy.

  EW: just roll with it heidi

  EW: also yeah bro cmon dont forget jim

  KC: yeah Isaac!

  IM: I didn’t forget Jim guys! Chill!

  IM: We just don’t have a way to contact him

  EE: We know. We have to make sure that he is okay.

  EW: any ideas people?

  IM: I already launched a probe

  KC: A PROBE?!?!

  IM: Yeah to his moon

  IM: at least I think I did; my place is confusing

  IM: also haunted

  EW: yo kate any way to get to jims moon?

  KC: I only know about the doors!

  EW: meaning...

  KC: if you get someone else’s door at your place, you can go there!

  EE: How does one acquire a door?

  KC: I do not know :\

  IM: So with all this in mind...

  IM: I think the best thing to do right now is a *status report*

  IM: I’ll go first

  IM: I’m on a satellite and I guess I don’t have a moon, but I do have a bunch of computers and telescopes and lasers and stuff

  IM: I also started a Helpful Chart

  IM: let me see if I can get it up here

  EW: fuckin knew youd be whipping out the charts

  EE: It was inevitable.

  KC: I’ll go next!

  *%_*((()_+{:”~:@>(*****

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  >>=~

  EW: hmm very interesting

  KC: Isaac! Stop interrupting

  IM: Woah, wasn’t me

  IM: Probably the ghost or something

  IM: I wasn’t kidding about my space station being haunted

  IM: ok here it is

  Isaac’s Chart (1 st iteration)

  IM: I’ll try to make it so you can fill it out or something

  KC: Isaac you spoiled the surprise, I was about to tell everyone about my moon! >:(

  EE: Kate it says practically nothing about your moon

  KC: yeah I guess :p

  HS: It’s not magnets.

  KC: it’s called Theia, and I live in a PALACE, although last night I stayed with the Theians who are like BUTTERFLIES!!!!

  KC: :D

  KC: actually I think they are sexually dimorphic so the females are like butterflies while the males resemble moths

  KC: my moon is stormy and windy, and it’s covered in windmills and the flowers are like pinwheels and there’s something scary in the storm and all the butterflies are hiding or still in cocoons because of the wind, and the lightning is colorful!

  EW: done?

  KC: yeah!

  EW: ok sounds cool

  KC: Liz you go next!

  EE: My moon is named Sisyphus, the Garden Moon. It lies in perpetual winter. The Yvethians, the natives, correspond physically to various animals. They are referring to me as a hero, although I have done nothing as yet to deserve such a title. I have a large greenhouse complex.

  EE: Eric?

  EW: got these big metronomes

  EW: got a big empty city

  EW: cryptic graffiti on the walls

  EW: got a legit fucking final boss dragon

  EW: got a knockoff lightsaber

  EW: killed a robot or something last night

  EW: oh yeah and I guess it’s called phyrrus

  EW: pyhrus

  EW: damn it

  EE: Pyrrhus.

  KC: don’t worry Eric!

  EW: ?

  KC: we will find a way to make sure that Leah is okay!

  EW: yeah isaac bro i dont suppose you can launch a probe right the fuck out of this place and back to Chicago?

  IM: I mean, maybe?

  IM: I’ll check

  EE: We have yet to comprehend the cosmology of this place.

  EE: Heidi?

  KC: Heidi are you there?

  KC: maybe she is tired

  HS: I am.

  IM: Sorry for waking you up

  HS: was already awake

  EW: doing what?

  HS: fighting

  KC: !!!!

  KC: are you OK?

  HS: Orpheus

  HS: name of moon

  EW: wait are you fighting like right now?

  HS: I’m fine

  HS: please make sure Jimothy is ok

  HS: have to go

  EE: Heidi?

  EW: damn

  EE: We should find a way to get to Orpheus as well.

  +**++$”+__)_**_*_**_*_*_***+”“{#(

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  <>:G(+___*-__-__*

  EW: isaac get your ghost under fucking control man

  EW: dont see me over here letting frisby play with my phone while im texting

  IM: Frisby?

  KC: I am worried about Heidi! <:(

  EE: She is still in this chat, Kate.

  KC: oh yeah

  KC: HEIDI I AM WORRIED ABOUT YOU!

  KC: be safe okay?

  IM: Yeah, remember to only take encounters appropriate for your level

  EW: really bro?

  IM: I’m serious!

  EE: So what is next?

  KC: I have a proposal!

  EW: woah to who?

  KC: >:|

  IM: Let’s hear it

  KC: I think we should all just find out more about our moons and our homes and stuff

  KC: and also about Ardia

  IM: About what?

  EE: What is Ardia?

  KC: oh! That’s the planet

  KC: and the city is called Skywater!

  IM: What city?

  KC: the one we all have to go to eventually, and before you ask I don’t know why we have to go there!

  KC: but I do know that we are kind-of in a story somehow

  IM: Yeah we’re like characters in a story

  IM: That’s what Jacob said

  EW: this is all such bullshit

  EE: Let us save the editorials for when we possess a better understanding of our situation.

  IM: I guess we don’t have a choice but to just keep trying to figure stuff out

  EE: Indeed. Let us reconvene tomorrow.

  EW: that means different things for each of us

  IM: Then you start it whenever it’s about time, Mr. Time Guy

  KC: also let the rest of us know if anyone manages to talk to Jim or find out about the doors!

  EE: Agreed.

  IM: All right. Talk to you later

  EW: k

  KC: bye!

  EE: Be careful, everyone.