— Sir, I have fought these creatures many times during my time in the holy army, I am certain that the ones responsible for the disappearances are definitely gob-
— Enough! — Rodrigues, the guildmaster of the adventurers’ guild in the city of Slow Tail, slammed his fist on his desk, glaring at me coldly. — That’s the problem with you ‘veterans’, you think you know everything just because you spent six months cleaning latrines and cooking for the nobles. I’ve told you once, and I won’t repeat myself again: my family's Spells have kept these openings completely clean of monsters since we took over leadership of this guild, it hasIt's been that way for generations, even during the wars with the Shadow Kings, and it's no different now! So get back to that damned crossroads NOW, and don't come back until you have the heads of the highwaymen who are robbing our merchants!
— ...Yes, sir — the man was certainly wrong, but I knew better than to disagree with those who paid me, like any good commoner.
Two years had passed since I had become an adventurer, and I had been promoted (not without first paying heavy fees) to “skilled adventurer”, and I had finally been able to stop relying on my cash reserves and start to make some profit from that investment, however small, being able to select more dangerous and better rewarding tasks.
Unfortunately, one of those quests ended up leading me to almost irrefutable signs of goblin presence in the “perfectly monster-free” territory of the local guild master, a failed noble Mage, whose protective Spells were clearly not as efficient as those of his ancestors.
I sighed, already outside Rodrigues' office, and made my way to the market before leaving the city walls. I had left Right Foot a year ago, right after my first promotion, for Slow Tail, a city with slightly more adventurer-friendly taxes... oblivious to the fact that the master of that organization was significantly more irrational than my last superior.
The reason I was now walking among the stalls and stands displaying various products was the same reason I had returned to the guild before properly completing my mission: goblins were not wild monsters, but rather sapient and organized. When I questioned the historians of the Sacred War about why the monsters were able to talk to us, if we were so incompatible, they revealed to me that Demonia blessed them with the language of the System, just as God did with us; the little creatures were able to talk to each other, organize themselves into rigid hierarchies, forge, and other complex tasks, such as strategizing. And this was probably the reason why the local authorities thought that the disappearances and attacks of recent times had been carried out by mere bandits.
— A tome, huh? — I stared at a thick book with an intricate title and complex symbols on the cover, as well as metal corner protectors, and of course, a label displaying an exorbitant price. It was a book that contained a spell on each page, for those who did not know or could use magic themselves. — It would be a great help... if I could afford it. — In that respect, they were no different from named items, the likes of which I could only dream.
I walked down a street where crates and tools were sold, and proceeded to the part where physical weapons were sold, made of steel. I needed something to deal with a group of at least six goblins on this excursion.
—The bow, the spear, twenty arrows, the shield, and the mace... Oh, and that includes the belts to carry it all — there went the little profit I had been making recently from my work...
Yes, the biggest problem with the presence of goblins formulating organized attacks was that the little creatures, like all other sapient monsters, were incapable of being controlled through pure reason. No, their natural state was that of solitary thieves and murderers full of internal conflicts, they followed only the strong. Like the Shadow King.
Of course, that generation’s champion of Demonia had already been killed and had his corpse paraded through the streets of the capital before being taken to the Sangria Desert, and while I didn’t know exactly how, the Holy Kingdom of Fanon had its ways of detecting the emergence of such entities, I didn’t fear the nonexistent possibility of, basically, an immortal demi-deity. But it wasn’t impossible that a hobgoglin, or orc, or perhaps, in the worst case scenario, even a goblin Knight was behind their recent activities.
I sighed, walking through the city gates and towards the crossroads where the attacks had been taking place.
— And here we go again...
?
— This bread... — I found irrefutable evidence of the presence of highwaymen on the side of the road; a characteristic stench of urine emanated from the fragment of dough. Unless someone had pissed on the bread, it was due to the saliva of a hungry goblin.
I looked around but saw no movement. I ducked into the woods, leaving the dirt path behind, and crept as stealthily as I could past a man in armor carrying a grown woman's worth of gear.
If goblins weren't even less sneaky than me, I would have approached that situation with a different strategy, but fortunately, they were: I was the one who noticed them first.
After surveying the terrain and my position and making a few simple preparations, I slowly placed the newly purchased medium-length spear on the ground and, taking a deep breath, partially hidden behind a tree about half a minute’s walk away from the circle of little green creatures, I drew the string of my bow and arrow, taking aim. I didn’t yet have Archery Proficiency Lv. 1, but I had fired a few arrows in recent years at festivals.
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— No, idiot! Elf barbecue is the best! — five goblins, completely naked (if monsters, asexual as they were, could even be “naked”, having only a cloaca), sat in a circle talking, protecting a series of sacks of looted linen in their midst, and enjoying the food and drink obtained from their last robbery. This food consisted of the remains of a bearded elf who was slightly familiar to me. He was the pisser who fought with me in the City of the Abyss. Apparently, he had accepted a job as caravan guard, and had bad luck.
— No way! The best thing is elf flesh fried in lots of lard, until it’s crispy!
— Well, I prefer it baked in the oven, covered in lots of brown sauce, with potatoes as an appetizer, and a glass of wine to complement it.
— Brown sauce? What is that? Diarrhea?
— Bwahaha-!
“Swush!” my arrow flew and abruptly cut off the laughter as it stuck right into the ground in front of the goblins.
— Shit — I really should have acquired the Archery Skill when I had the time.
— Elf!
— Get him!
Taking up arms, they rushed towards me. I should be as dangerous to those monsters as an orc would be to me, but if I had four companions with me, I would also be confident in my chances of victory.
— Bwah! — My second arrow, however, was a critical hit and pierced one of the little green ones in the stomach, the target immediately falling to his knees with tears in his eyes and howling in pain.
Immediately after, discarding the bow, I picked up the spear at my feet and got into position.
— Surround him, surround him! — shouted a goblin.
— Be careful, Slime!
— You too, Mud!
Since I was the one who found them first, and who chose the battlefield, I would never have chosen a position that would allow me to be surrounded, however.
— Aaaai! — a goblin bellowed, raising a bleeding foot, pierced by an iron caltrop, as I had spread the discreet traps to my left.
In a few moments, due to their light weight, both already wounded enemies fell into silence, perishing from the paralyzing effect of the last blows.
Meanwhile, the three remaining goblins stared at me hesitantly, right in front of me; since they had stopped near a ravine that led to a stream to have easy access to the water, I had such an obstacle to my right.
Still, it was three against one, and my only advantage was my greater reach due to my superior size and my spear...
The monsters exchanged glances with each other, and bared their sharp fangs at me, enraged but equally nervous. We were at an impasse.
They wasted their only opportunity.
Once my Strength was great enough, I held my spear with a single hand and brought my other palm to the blowgun strapped to my chest.
— A long-range weapon! Don't let him carry it, up! — Driven to their limits by my threat, the goblins finally sprang into action again, and all rushed at me at once, separating themselves as much as the cramped space I had provided them would allow.
I immediately dropped the blowgun to the ground, and responded to the attack with a lunge of my own, taking full advantage of my superior reach to pierce one of my opponents with the spear, driving a good two full feet of steel and shaft through the monster's chest.
I immediately abandoned that weapon as well and drew my bastard sword while blocking the second goblin's short sword thrust with my shield. My Strength must have been at least three times greater than my opponent's, and so I managed to not only stop his attack, but respond to it with a thud of my shield, pushing with enough power to throw him to the ground.
— LEAVE HIM BE! — The third goblin reached me in the blink of an eye, also with a thrust, and just as my left arm was to the side, leaving me exposed after the push I gave. — Bwargh... — Once again, however, I took advantage of my superior reach, and responded to the attack with a thrust of my own, burying the tip of my weapon between the monster's eyes, which died instantly.
The enemy that had been knocked off balance was now back on his feet and was jumping at me while delivering a vertical slash.
— Kuh! — I blocked it again with my shield. — What? — I was surprised by the force with which the little monster attacked me, even making me take a step back.
I straightened up, grabbing the mace I had bought that day, my sword stuck in the corpse of my last victim, as I focused on defending myself, but even so I was unable to respond to the subsequent barrage of cuts, thrusts and kicks delivered by the little goblin.
— Damn you! Dirty elf! Wretch! — Tears streamed down the goblin's cheeks, as he stared at me with glassy eyes and whose veins were prominent on his forehead, giving his face an exaggeratedly reddish appearance. — I will avenge Mud!
He must have been the one with the Slime, the two who exchanged concern and care for each other.
— But so what? — Somehow, after seeing his family dead, it was as if the monster half my size suddenly had his Strength, or at least luck, doubled.
— Raaargh! — the goblin scratched the steel of my shield with a power greater than that usual for his species.
But while grief and the desire for revenge may have had some psychological effect that unlocked his extra power, his already limited goblin vision must have narrowed it even further: stepping back, I caught a low tree branch with my back, and when the enemy was where I wanted him, I leapt aside, allowing the tree arm to hit the monster square in the face.
I didn't give him a second to recover: I approached in a single step and hit him with all my weight with the steel mace in my right hand.
— Wargah! — the monster roared, unable to utter another word as my weapon had shattered its jaw, which now hung open, dislocated and deformed.
My second strike silenced him permanently, as the mace landed on his crown with enough force to cave in his skull and force his eyes out of their sockets with a spray of green blood and brains.
Panting, I looked around me, making sure there were no more enemies nearby.
— It's over... for now — sighing and allowing my heartbeat to return to normal, I began to collect my weapons and equipment from the ground. And then, the monsters' heads.
?
— Evil mouths whisper about monsters on the roads, guildmaster Rodrigues, and remnants of the shadow army... — someone commented on the other side of the door, inside the office.
— I have already sent an entire army of the most experienced adventurers to the region, and I promise you, Baron, the streets will be clean of bandits in the blink of an eye! — Opening the door to his office in order to escort his visitor to the exit, with his back to me, he continued: — And as for such baseless and ridiculous rumors about monsters on the roads that I have enchanted, the same ones that my family has kept clean for generations, I tell you what they are: baseless and ridiculous rumors! — The master took a very confident and proud pose, with his chest puffed out and his right hand on his chest. His guest, however, paid little attention to the man... as he was looking directly at me.
Slowly, Rodrigues turned back to me, who was carrying five green heads by the hair.
— Uh... Here are the heads of those responsible for the attacks at the crossroads, guild master.
My reward was practically a death sentence.
