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  Without further adieu, here's this week's chapter.

  Briar Rose

  I rode shotgun in Kyle’s car, sitting on my hands and trying not to fidget too much as we passed through the tollbooth and over the state line into Maine. I pulled down the mirror and checked my makeup for the millionth time, baring my teeth to make sure I didn’t have any lipstick on them.

  “You look great, Rose,” Kyle said for the millionth-and-third time today.

  “Thank you,” I sighed, squirming a little in my seat. “I’m just nervous, okay?”

  We’d gotten back from Vegas a few days ago, but still had a week left before we both had to get back to work. And that morning, Kyle asked if I was interested in taking a trip to visit his parents. I’d said yes immediately, even if a part of me was screaming internally at the prospect.

  “I get it,” Kyle said. “But you’ve met my Mom before. You haven’t met my step-dad, sure, but if my mom likes than he likes you.”

  “But I wasn’t me yet!” I whined, looking in the mirror again. Pink lipstick accenting my plump lips, bold mascara giving me big ol’ anime eyes, foundation blended to look completely natural. I wore a sleeveless blue sundress with white polka dots, a pair of strappy sandals around my feet, and my beloved golden cross neckce around my throat. “I was hideous back then!”

  “You were not hideous, Briar.”

  “Okay, but-”

  “I might prefer the new look, yes, but you were not hideous. Don’t talk about yourself like that,” Kyle said. “Okay, princess?”

  “Okay,” I smiled bashfully.

  “Good girl.”

  I blushed. “Kyle. Do not get me horny when I’m about to meet your parents!”

  “Once again, you’ve already met one of them.”

  “You know what I mean,” I said.

  “Fair enough,” he exhaled. “I still think they’re gonna love you.”

  “Okay,” I echoed, then drew in a deep breath and looked out the window. It had been pouring rain when we’d gotten in yesterday, but overnight the clouds had parted and now a warm light shined over an emerald ndscape. Water dripped from green tree leaves on one side of the road, while lush fields of grass stretched out around the other. The sun was overhead in the noonday sky, and as I rolled down my window, a gentle breeze filtered in from outside. God, the air was so clean here, it was almost too much for my corrupted city girl lungs.

  “Mind if I put on some music?” Kyle asked.

  “Yeah, go ahead.”

  A few moments ter, heavy metal bred from the speakers. It wasn’t the kind of music I usually listened to, but I quickly found I had no choice but to start head-banging in time with the epic drum beats nonetheless. I mean hey, when in Rome, ya know?

  Eventually, Kyle’s childhood home came into view. It was a charming little two-story house, fresh-looking teal paint and clear windows, an American fg proudly dispyed on the front porch… Alongside a pride fg.

  Fuck. Maybe this WOULD go well.

  Kyle parked in the round driveway next to what were presumably his parents’ cars: a silver minivan and a tan hatchback. Much like Kyle’s truck, they looked like they’d seen better days, but there was something charming about the way in which the Duggan family kept their stuff working as long as possible. It gave me a good feeling about Kyle and I.

  I breathed slowly and deeply as Kyle parked, then unbuckled my seatbelt and swung my legs out as Kyle opened my door for me and gave me his hand.

  We walked up to the front door arm in arm, and it opened before Kyle could ring the bell.

  Nancy and Dave stood on the other side, gesturing us in. Nancy’s gray hair was short, but she wore it far better than my mother did. Pearl studs were in her earlobes, and a matching neckce was strung around her neck. No makeup, but she wore the most marvelous red sundress I’d ever seen. “I love your outfit!” was the first thing she said to me that day. And the first thing I said to her that day. She started ughing, and I couldn’t help but do the same as Kyle and I entered the house.

  “How you two doing?” Dave said. He was an older bck man with short white natural hair and a broad smile, wearing a gold fnnel button-down and well-worn workman’s jeans.

  “Pretty good, Dave, pretty good,” Kyle said, giving the old man a hug.

  We were shepherded into the small hallway, next to a short stairwell that led upstairs. I had to wonder how all these giant Duggans could possibly handle such low ceilings, but when I got to the kitchen, I saw it was only a problem when first entering.

  The kitchen was hardwood-floored and high-ceilinged with wooden rafters, light from countless windows streaming in and casting a warm glow over the wide, tall, airy space. Steam poured from the open spout of a tea kettle, while four mugs held steeping tea bags on the blue countertops. A square, dark dinner table sat on the left-hand side of the kitchen, with a bowl of green apples filling the center. Countless photos of the Duggan family over the years decorated the walls. Over the table, especially, were photos of all three Duggan boys as babies.

  “Which one is you?” I asked Kyle.

  “Far left,” he said with a groan. “Can’t believe these are still here.”

  “Well believe it,” Kyle’s mom… Mrs. Jensen said. “I never wanna forget what my babies looked like.”

  “God, Mom,” Kyle ughed.

  “Don’t embarrass the boy in front of his woman, dear,” Dave said.

  “Never. It’s my prerogative as a mother,” Mrs. Jensen cackled.

  Kyle gave another exaggerated groan as he sat down at the table. Dave, meanwhile, walked up to me and offered a hand. “Dave Jensen, nice to meet you.”

  “Rose O’Neil,” I said, shaking hands with the friendly fellow.

  “So, Rose, what is it you do for a living?” Dave asked as we sat down and Mrs. Jensen brought us all our teas.

  I took a sip of the hot beverage- lemony, with notes of ginger. Oh, that was good! “I work in the private sector. I’m basically a traveling saleswoman in a lot of ways- I close deals.”

  “What does your company do?” Dave asked.

  “Anything and everything.”

  “Huh?”

  “Just… Just go with it, Dave,” Kyle said with a pyful wave of his hand and an equally pyful ugh. “Trust me, it’s easier than trying to figure this one out.”

  At this point, Mrs. Jensen shot her husband a soft but meaningful look I couldn’t decipher, and he gave a small nod. “Fair enough,” Dave ughed. “Kyle, would you mind helping me with the grill? I’m making tuna burgers.”

  As nervous as I was, I was just grateful he hadn’t said catfish burgers.

  “Oh, heck yeah,” Kyle said, standing up. “You gonna be okay in here?” he asked me.

  “I’ll be fine,” I smiled, brushing a strand of hair from in front of my eyes.

  “Cool,” Kyle said, kissing my cheek. “Miss you already.”

  “God, you’re corny.”

  “Oh, don’t start,” Kyle chuckled as Dave led him outside.

  Leaving me alone with my boyfriend’s mother. And, at the rate things were going, very probably my future mother-in-w. It took me a second to register that this was probably what the look she’d given Dave was about.

  Oh, God.

  I primly folded my hands onto my p and waited for the stormwall to hit as Mrs. Jensen cleared her throat and sized me up. “That really is a lovely outfit,” she finally said.

  “Thank you,” I said. “Yours is as well. And, uh, the tea is delicious.”

  “Thank you.”

  A moment of awkward silence sat between us.

  “So, Rose,” she finally said.

  “Mrs. Jensen.”

  “Please, call me Pau.”

  I exhaled. “Pau.”

  Her eyes were the same navy-blue shade as her son’s. They also had a simir power of boring directly into a person’s soul. “I’ll just ask you this straight out-”

  “Yes, I feel guilty,” I said immediately.

  “Uh… Beg pardon? What exactly do you feel guilty about?”

  “I- I mean, you know.”

  “No, I really don’t know,” Pau said, leaning forward.

  “I just… I’m sorry for…”

  “For what?”

  I smoothed my skirt and took a deep breath. “For being with your son.”

  “What?!”

  “I know I’m not exactly what a mom dreams of their kid bringing home-”

  “A kind, beautiful, independent woman who loves their partner dearly?” Pau said with a crooked smile and a raised eyebrow. “What mother wouldn’t want that for her child?”

  Mine wouldn’t. “Um… Well, that is to say-”

  “Rose, please.”

  “It’s just… You know I’m trans, right?”

  Pau gave a light ugh. “Yes, Kyle did mention that when he was telling me about you.”

  “How much… How much did he tell you?”

  “All of it,” Pau said simply.

  “Even… How we got together?”

  “Yes,” Pau said. She took another sip of her tea, then said, “I’ll admit, I found that part of it a little strange-”

  I wrung my hands together furiously as I spouted, “It’s a lot strange- sometimes I feel like I haven’t been properly punished for doing that, like I somehow wound up getting rewarded for doing something wrong-”

  “Does Kyle forgive you for lying?”

  “Y… Yes, he does. He’s said as much.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “I just… I feel like I’m not good enough for him,” I said, staring into my tea, watching my reflection ripple in the dark liquid.

  “Oh, honey,” Pau said. “Listen to me. Kyle’s been with a lot of women over the years.”

  “I know!” I moaned. “And they’re all prettier than me.”

  “I don’t think he would agree with that assessment.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because you’re the only one he’s brought home to meet the parents,” Pau said.

  I looked up, meeting her dark blue gaze. “Really?”

  “Really,” she said. “His first girlfriend, all the way back in high school? He went out of his way to make sure I never met her. To this day, I couldn’t even tell you a darn thing about her. Same with all three of his college girlfriends. And by the time the two of you met, he’d stopped telling me about his dating habits altogether.”

  “I… I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything,” Pau said. “I think it’s pretty clear what this is.”

  “I still don’t see it, though,” I admitted. “I’m… I have a pretty hard head, if you catch my meaning.”

  “For him, it’s always been you, Rose,” Pau said. “The way he talks about you, the way he looks at you, the way he got so darn nervous and so darn proud at the same time when I asked to meet you- it’s always been you. He was waiting for you his whole damn life, he just didn’t know it until earlier this year.”

  “That can’t possibly be true.”

  “It is. And I think it’s true for you, as well,” Pau said. “But I wanted to check. That was the question I wanted to ask you. ‘How long have you been in love with my son?’”

  I looked down into my drink again, trying to peer through the ages, hoping the ripples produced by my shaky grip around the mug would part and grant me crity. But they didn’t, so instead, I thought back.

  I remembered our first meeting, a night that changed both of our lives, beginning with a hockey game and ending at the bar with us exchanging phone numbers after talking all night. I remembered how I got home and he was the only thing I could think of, even though my team had won, even though I’d been out all night, even though I was drunk and exhausted. I remembered how excited I was the next day he asked if I wanted to get lunch, and I’d practically run to the restaurant as soon as I was able to leave church. I remember spending the day after that with my heart pounding like a snare drum inside my chest while I agonized over whether or not to text him again, and how relieved I was when he texted me asking if we could study together. I remembered our first dance, together on that rooftop, while snow tumbled down from the heavens and shards of moonlight bathed us while the city hummed with life below. I remembered how much I came to look forward to our dances, how the highlight of my week was always when he was holding me in his arms. I remembered having to drink myself into a stupor for the courage to ask him to move in with me after we graduated, how I’d squealed with delight when he’d said yes. I remembered every other girl that came and went in his life, and how jealous they made me feel, how confused and worthless and ugly, how I wondered why he couldn’t find the right girl for him, how he deserved a forever, how the universe owed a man as wonderful as him a happily ever after. I remembered crying for him every time a girl decided for some Godforsaken reason that he wasn’t worth anything more than simple pleasure and left him in the dust, hugging him and consoling him and doing everything in my power to make him smile again. I remembered every time I came home to him and how just seeing him there was enough to make me smile even at my lowest. I remembered every time I rested my head on his shoulder or on his p, every time he held me, every time I cupped his face or ran a hand through his hair. I remembered how he’d looked at me the first time he’d seen me as Rose, that lust and affection and yearning.

  I remembered, once more, our first meeting. The very moment I first id eyes on him, sitting next to me in that arena. So frustrated and grumpy, yet also lost and lonely. Like he just needed some company. Just needed someone to cheer him up, because even through his bad mood a light shined out of him like nobody else I’d ever before encountered. It just needed someone to help bring it out. So I decided to be that person myself, and I’d introduced myself and went out of my way to make sure he had a good time. And all the while, I told myself I was just being nice, that I was doing what any good Christian would do in helping my fellow human being. And that was true. But that wasn’t the end of it. It was only the beginning. It was only the first step down the path that led me… Here. To this moment. And he’d been there holding my hand every step of the way.

  “I think… Yes,” I finally said. “I think it’s always been him. I think from the second I id eyes on him, my life changed forever. In ways I never thought possible. I never thought I’d get to be as happy as I am when I’m with him. Love at first sight sounds like a bit much, but… Yeah. Deep down, from the night we met, I’ve known it’s always been him.”

  “And when you look at him, what do you see?” Pau said knowingly.

  I smiled. “I see forever.”

  “Good,” Pau said. “Now, I don’t know what kinda household you were raised in-”

  “Trust me, you don’t want to.”

  “But as far as I’m concerned, that’s all a parent should ask for in their child’s partner,” Pau said, rising to her feet, spreading her arms wide. “Now come here.”

  I gulped (thank the Lord that Kyle wasn’t here to see that- it would just set him off). Then I stood up and embraced the woman who’d raised the man I loved. She wrapped her arms around me and patted me on the back. “Welcome to the family, Rose.”

  “You mean it?”

  “I mean it.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered. “Thank you so much.”

  “Of course, Rose. Of course.”

  Kyle and Dave chose then to come back in with a pte full of tuna burgers, and he stood in the doorway behind his stepfather, taking in the sight of me and his mom hugging it out.

  “Everything okay?” he asked quietly.

  “Everything is just great, Kyle,” I said. “Everything is wonderful.”

  “Good,” he said, walking over to me and pulling me out of his mom’s arms and into his.

  “Now then!” Pau said, csping her hands together, “Who’s hungry?”

  “Always,” Kyle said.

  “I could eat,” I said.

  “Fantastic,” Dave said. “Let’s have some lunch.”

  “And then I’ve got even more baby pictures I need to show you, Rose,” Pau said mischievously.

  “Oh God, Mom, no!” Kyle said. “You’ll scare her off.”

  “I don’t think that’s something you have to worry about, babe,” I said. “The more of you I see… The more there is to love.”

  ***

  That night, we slept in Kyle’s childhood bedroom. The mattress was big enough for two- probably necessary, since the photos Pau showed me indicated he’d been huge since eighth grade- and the pce was decorated in a way that just felt so… Kyle. Posters of hockey and football pyers all over the walls, tickets for every heavy metal show he’d ever been to tapped on the door to his closet, a few framed photos on his desk. Him and his dad, mostly. One of them holding a fish on a hook in front of a ke, another of them at a football game together, another of them and his brothers on what looked like a hiking trip. Kyle’s home, his family, was… Well, it was beautiful. Just like him.

  A bck comforter was draped over us on the mattress, and his arm was around me while he id on his back. “You awake?” he said, his eyes still closed.

  “Mm-hm,” I whispered.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, just… Just one of those days I don’t want to end,” I said, leaning on my side and facing him. “This pce is lovely.”

  “You’re lovely.”

  “God, you’re-”

  “Horny?”

  “Incorrigible,” I giggled.

  “Damn right,” Kyle said. “You and my mom seem to be getting along pretty well.”

  “She’s the best.”

  “Yeah. She is. I’m gd… I’m gd we’re like this,” Kyle said. “There’s been this part of me that’s been thinking ‘why couldn’t this have happened sooner’, but I don’t know if it would be the same if it had.”

  “I know what you mean,” I said. “I’ve been thinking that too. And… I’m just gd we’re here. Now. In love. You’re… You’re my everything, Kyle.”

  “And you’re my everything, Briar Rose.”

  I nuzzled him, kissing him on the lips and ying ft on his chest. “Is this okay?”

  “It’s always okay, Briar Rose. It’s always okay.”

  “Good,” I said, drifting off to sleep with him supporting me, me keeping him warm and safe. Because for me, it was always him, just like for him it was always me.