The bus rambles along Theo’s favourite street. Trees hang their leaves across the sky above him, and his music bres through his new headphones. Buses are one of Theo’s favourite pces. They’re not really pces, he guesses, but more environments. There’s something almost hypnotising about staring out the window, watching the scenery pass by. He tries to imagine stories for the other people on the bus sometimes, where they might come from, where they’re going. His phone buzzes on his p, but he’s too busy thinking to check it. His stop isn’t too far, so he watches the monitor at the head of the bus every time they stop, waiting for the name of the street near Aspen’s house to pop up.

  Theo drums his newly-painted nails against the border of the bus window. He’d painted them st night, in front of the TV while his parents were out, and curled his hands into loose fists to hide them from his parents this morning. Dark green pnt patterns swirl over his regur bck nail polish, and Aspen had agreed the design looks cool when Theo sent them a picture.

  A red cross shop passes by the bus as it announces its arrival as Theo’s stop. Moving awkwardly around the people standing in the middle of the bus, he taps his HOP card against the meter, and steps down onto the street. Quickly changing the song pying through his headphones, he finally checks the group chat.

  Aspen don’t change the chat name challenge

  ________________________________________________________________________________

  i’m at the bus stop near the red cross shop

  Thesaurus boy: Where do you want to meet, Aspen?

  luz :D : there’s a park near the second hand stores, we could meet at the gate to it?

  Theo lets out a soft chuckle at Aspen’s contact, named after their past cospy of one of their mutual favourite shows.

  Dani: This street is terrible. Everything looks the same. Can we call?

  luz :D : we can call :3 but you can just go to the park, the gate’s pretty close.

  There’s a notification as Dani rings the group chat. Theo’s breath hitches for a moment. Should he pick it up? Dani wanted to speak to Aspen, so he probably shouldn’t. But then again, she did ring the group chat. She probably wouldn’t be offended if he picked up. What if Aspen doesn’t pick up and it’s just him? That would be embarrassing.

  His eyes sweep the street, noting the plethora of second-hand shops that Aspen swears by, and the lush green of the park. The yellow painted wooden ‘gate’ is a pagoda. He takes a photo and sends it on the group chat.

  Theo zones out for a second, listening to his music with his gloved hands in the pockets of his cargo pants. Before he can finish Line Without a Hook Aspen taps him on the shoulder, a wide smile pstered across their face. Aspen’s wearing a yellow hoodie, with a collection of brightly coloured bracelets on their wrist and denim shorts, the metal of their prosthetic leg contrasting against the pale white of their skin.

  “Theo! My main man!”

  “Aspen, hey! You, uh, scared me. How’ve you been?”

  “Pretty good, to be honest. I visited my dad the other day at the hospital.” Their voice softens. “He’s doing well. They think he might be able to come home for a few days next week.”

  Theo gives them a quick hug, more of a squeeze. “That’s so good! Did you get to show him the pn for your cospy?”

  Aspen’s blue eyes brighten, sparkling in the sunlight, “Yeah! I actually had some more ideas of what I could do, I was watching She-ra st night, I’ll show you- wait but first, how are you going?”

  “I haven’t been up to much really, just studying. ”

  “That’s good? I think?”

  “Ya, good to be prepared, but it’s so tiring” Theo groans

  “Yeah, that makes sense. Are-” Aspen’s sentence is interrupted as Dani struts into view, low-necked crop top and tattooed arms dispyed proudly.

  “Dani!” They call, waving to her. Dani’s dark eyes fix on them, narrowed under her thick, winged eyeliner. Even after seeing her regurly and getting used to her impressive make-up skills, he still looks at her eyeliner with longing. He’s tried his mother’s eyeliner before, but it looked terrible and wonky. And she had not been pleased.

  “I could hear you, you bitches.” Theo just ughs. Dani wears the same clothes in school and out, another thing the teachers dislike about her. Something about her appearance has changed, though. Maybe it’s how her clothes fray and hang from her body, the smell of alcohol on her words, or the way her cheekbones are more pronounced. Theo inhales sharply, scenarios pying a vulgar movie through his head. He resolves to buy some food to share with her when they stop for lunch, if she doesn’t.

  “Is he good?” Dani asks Aspen.

  “Uh-huh.” He says, “Sorry, just thinking too much.”

  “Alright.” She replies. “Where are Lyric, Luca and Haylie?”

  “Haylie and Lyric are on the bus.”

  Theo checks his texts from Luca, “Luca’s here, he said he can see us.”

  The group looks up, searching for Luca. It’s like a silent competition of who can spot him first. “I see him!” Aspen cries, pointing up the street where Luca’s walking along, waving gently. He’s not using crutches right now, but he’s bought the bck Nike backpack where he usually keeps his light, foldable crutches.

  “Hey guys. Good holidays so far?”

  The greetings repeat. Theo’s surprised by how honest the group is with each other now. Obviously they don’t tell each other everything, but they're a lot less gated than previously.

  When Haylie and Lyric arrive, they start to walk towards the second hand stories, Haylie and Lyric apologising for holding them up. The street’s covered in autumn leaves and the cobbled pavement that lines the walkways is orange and grey. Aspen’s townhouse is nearby, but the Vinnies they’re headed towards is past the turn off to his pce.

  “Here we are, my friends. The best pce in the world; Vinnies!” Aspen announces like a tv show host. The store's blue front hides rows upon rows of clothes, organised in colour.

  “Woah, this is pretty cool.” Theo tells him.

  “Hell yeah, Aspen. You gotta love a good second-hand store.”

  “Mmm, totally.” Luca hums.

  As they cross the doorway into the shop, hit by the sound of 80s music and a kind-looking older dy at the counter. “Afternoon, can I help you with anything?” Her eyes crinkle as she speaks, wrinkles in her face creasing from years of smiling.

  “No, thanks.” Luca replies.

  “Is there a specific way you’re supposed to go about second-hand shopping?” Theo asks the others.

  Dani raises an eyebrow at him. “You haven’t been to a second-hand store before?”

  “Er, no, not really.”

  Theo tugs at the ends of his woolen fingerless gloves.

  “Ooooh, I’m so excited to be here for your first time! Second hand shopping is the best! You just can’t have a super clear idea of what you want, or you’ll be disappointed.”

  “Yeah, okay.”

  Theo follows Aspen and Lyric to the rack of coloured shirts, watching Aspen run their hands through the fabrics. Dani walks purposefully to the jacket section, accompanied by Luca. Haylie drifts toward a red corduroy jacket near Dani and Luca.

  “Oh, Theo! Lyric! look at this~” Aspen says, holding up a purple shirt with yellow and white stars. “It’s practically the non-binary fg!”

  “Oh, cool, Aspen. You gonna try it on?” Theo asks with a smirk.

  “Yep.” Aspen replies, standing on their tiptoes to kiss Theo’s cheek before whisking away to the make-shift change rooms.

  Okay.

  That was a thing.

  Was that romantic? Or friendly? Theo wasn’t… against romance. Not at all. Half his pylists are named after various girls he’s liked in the past. Or, thought he liked. And, sure he’s thought about if he likes Aspen before. Does he? He probably does. There’s most definitely a part of him that yearns for Aspen’s company, for their snarky little comments and fireball energy. He does think that Aspen’s pretty. But the thought of kissing Aspen, as vulgar as it feels to try to imagine kissing a friend, just doesn’t come.

  “Er… these clothes are nice.”

  Theo bnches, realising he’s been reflecting on romance and romantic prospects while Lyric’s been standing here awkwardly, and is now trying to talk to him. Shit.

  “Oh, sorry, I, uh, spaced out. Yeah, they are.”

  There’s a quiet, awkward moment of tense silence. Theo sometimes wishes he was more like Luca, able to disperse tension with the wave of a hand. It's a kindred feeling, he knows. Both of them are equally as awkward, as anxious. It’s wishful thinking that he could just acknowledge it, and then they’d both ugh and be best of friends, but he is a wishful thinker.

  “Sorry, I’m not very good at conversation, heh.” he ughs.

  “That’s okay, I’m not great at it either.”

  How do you keep up a conversation again?

  “Are you excited for comic-con?”

  She smiles, “Oh. Yes, it’s gonna be great.”

  “I still haven’t decided what I’m going to wear, to be honest. Have you decided?”

  “Hmm.. no, not yet. I’ve been to comic-con a few times before though.”

  “Really?” Theo asks. It feels a bit more natural now, their quiet chatter intermittent as they both look through the racks.

  Theo wonders, sometimes, if the air of awkwardness that seems to follow him like a cloud, is purely imaginary. Maybe, it's a one-sided thing, and the other person never notices the waves of embarrassment. Ever since he was young, Theo's been curious about what other people think. How differently do they see the world? Are they rexed when they speak to him, just as awkward, annoyed?

  At this moment, he thinks that he might, for one of the first times in his life, that he is the one who is comfortable in this conversation. The one who smiles contentedly, without a thought to the other person's distress.

  Under the quiet 80s music and the prattle of his friends across the store, he considers for a while. Lyric's not the most fashionable at the best of times, but today she's only wearing an old t-shirt spttered with paint, neck wide enough to show the strap of her bra and tracksuit pants like you could get from Kmart. She hasn't touched any of the clothes.

  "Guys!" Aspen calls, their voice a loud whisper. They gesture for him and Lyric to come over to the somewhat makeshift change room. Their rakish grin peaks out from behind the blue curtains.

  The shirt- once they came out from behind the curtain,- is bright blue, decorated with yellow flowers, the kind you'd see in a crowded tourist shop in Hawaii. It blends with Aspen’s golden hair and pale blue accents. Theo's not great at describing the beauty he sees in others, but the best he can manage is that the shirt is very Aspen. Very energetic and quiet and contrasting.

  Theo gives Aspen a thumbs up and they shine.

  “You look great, Aspen!” Lyric smiles.

  Aspen slurs his reply in a sing-song voice. “Thank you!!!”

  “Yo, Aspen, nice shirt.” Luca tells them, as he and Haylie wander over from the shelves beside the change room. Theo startles for a moment at the sound of the husky voice. He’s still not used to how much Luca’s voice has deepened, even though Luca’s only been on Testosterone for a few weeks now.

  “Yeah, that shirt fits you so well!” Haylie says, a pair of jeans embroidered with flowers clutched in her left hand.

  “Awww, you guys are too sweet.” Aspen curls their face into a warm, deep grin. Theo lightly punches them on the arm, and they elbow him back, ughing.

  “Are you going to try those on?” Lyric asks, her tone soft.

  “Yeah, they’re so pretty! Might not fit me though.”

  "Hopefully they do," Luca tells her, crossing his fingers.

  "Hopefully not," Aspen whines. "I'd totally take them if you didn't want them."

  "Haha," Haylie rolls her eyes under the dark frames of her sungsses. "You've already got an amazing T-shirt. Surely you don't need to steal these from me."

  "Alright," Aspen ughs sheepishly.

  Theo taps his nails against the metal coathangers on the rack next to them. The dark blue glint of his nails shifts as he moves them up and down, a satisfying cck as his fingers walk along the rack.

  Lyric's gone back to reorganising the racks, her hands shaking in anger and irritation. Luca's eyebrows furrow with an adorable puppy dog look of concern, and he slides between the racks to her side. Lyric turns her head to look at him, and their eyes meet with a quiet, vulnerable message of support. She smiles weakly, and Luca begins to talk to her in his calm rasp. As Luca speaks, Theo watches Lyric's hands slow their agitated movements.

  The moment turns his stomach in a cold, nervous jitter. Luca really does have a chance. Of course, he does. And the side of Theo's lips curls in an upturned smile. Luca has always had a skill for talking to people. And even more so a skill for making people like him.

  Theo- well, Theo doesn't have that. His words get stuck like gum in his throat when he tries to speak to people. He can't hold conversations even with people he knows.

  The club is one of the only pces this year he's spoken to the other kids. Luca's been his friend since they were in Montessori together. But even then, Luca was the one to offer for Theo to sit with him and be kind, and always gave Theo second chances.

  Last year, when everything was terrible and it just seemed to get worse and worse, Luca had been the one he would call at 2 am when his mind was running wild and brutal. And they would chat.

  Luca was the one he first told about everything. About the first girl he thought he liked, about all the horrible things from the st year.

  Luca deserved to have someone. Someone like Lyric, who cared about him and would spend time with him. But Theo still felt like he was standing at a dock, watching Luca drift away from him forever.

  Luca would tell him he was overthinking it. He was.

  "Theo?" Aspen asked him. "Hey, are you ok?"

  Theo blinked. "Oh, yeah, I'm good. You gonna go buy that T-shirt?"

  Aspen nodded, as their fingers slipped into Theo's.

  The counter at the front of the store was covered with trinkets and odd, gaudy jewelry that Theo was sure he could only trust to turn his fingers green and blue. While Aspen spoke to the cashier and fumbled with a bright yellow credit card, Theo's hand was still clutched in their other. He tried to slip free so it would be easier for Aspen, slithering out of Aspen's grasp like an eel, but Aspen just squeezed his hand once. One squeeze seemed to connote a lot of things. I'm here. It's okay. Chill out.

  Theo gazed across the store again. Lyric was quietly going through the racks, chatting to Luca who was sitting on a couch next to the rack she was working on. Dani and Haylie were speaking in hushed tones over by the change rooms. As he searched the room, his eyes locked on a bck skirt within metres.

  "Hah, imagine if I got a skirt." He joked, a kind of sickly, sad feeling in his gut.

  "Oh my god, you totally should!" Aspen cried, the bag with their new T-shirt hung over their forearm. Odd reaction.

  "I was joking?" Theo said, feeling embarrassed.

  "You'd look great in a skirt, though." Aspen replied, tilting their head to the side. "Like a nice dark colour."

  "Like that one?" Theo ughed, against all of the cringing voices in his head, pointing to the bck skirt.

  "OH MY GOSH, YES- I mean, you should totally try it on if you want."

  The cashier grimaced at Aspen's voice, and the sight made Theo whip his head around to check if Luca was bothered. Luca gave him a smile, rubbing his temples.

  “Oh, shit, sorry Luca,” Aspen stage whispers across the room. “No, but really, you should try it on!”

  Theo ughs a throaty chuckle. “Fine, just for you, Aspen.”

  Aspen pumps their fist in the air, mummering a triumphant 'yes' under their breath. They usher Theo towards the change rooms.

  "Theo's gonna try a skirt!"

  "Oh, cool! Do you think these jeans fit me?" Haylie asks, looking down at the flowery patterns.

  "Yeah, looks great." Theo tells Haylie on autopilot.

  "Might be a bit too small though?" Aspen offers.

  "I agree." She sighs. "Ugh, and they were so nice. Maybe I'll get Tayn to alter them."

  Surrounded by the chapped pster wall and dusty curtains of the change room, Theo runs his hands over the skirt. The fake leather slips through his fingers, soft and midnight bck, with a yer of mesh that rubs grated patterns into his hands.

  The sound of Aspen bouncing on their heels outside leaks through the heavy curtain, as well as Dani's sharp words as their conversation turns to Arcane. A tight, nervous knot forms in his stomach as Theo hears Lyric and Luca wander over from the other side of the store. He's holding everyone up.

  His hands fumble with the zip of the skirt as he struggles to change as quickly as possible. It goes well with the dark green long sleeve shirt he's already wearing. He glimpses himself in the dirty, stained mirror hanging on the wall.

  The skirt hangs off his hips, flowing and rustling as he turns. It almost covers his gangly knees. The yers of faux-leather swirl around him. It fills him with the liquid joy of nail polish and yers of long, crystal neckces and tailored shirts. He holds himself straighter, and a grin crosses his usually skeptical face.

  He wipes the grin off before he leaves the change room, ughing again, because it's all just a funny joke between friends.

  Aspen's face widens in a bright smile and they bent over backwards dramatically, pressing a hand to their forehead like a fragile Victorian dy.

  "Oh my lord! How gorgeous!" Theo's cheeks redden.

  "Pfft," he chuckles. "You're such a drama queen."

  "You take that back!" Aspen gasps.

  "That suits you, man." Luca comments. Lyric nods beside him.

  Haylie grins sweetly, "You look great."

  "Never seen a guy who could rock a skirt before. Damn."

  Theo raises his eyebrows at them. "You think I should buy it?" He snickers.

  "Fuck yes!" Dani decres, wincing when she sees Luca's face twitch. "Sorry, Luca."

  "You like it, right?" Luca asks. Wow. Way to put him on the spot.

  Theo shrugs. "It's not too bad." Luca gives him a knowing look that makes him groan internally.

  "Fine, I'll buy it. It's not expensive, anyway."

  When they leave the shop minutes ter, Theo holds the bag with his new folded skirt close to his chest. He waves to them from across the road at his bus stop, and his phone dings constantly with his friends' texts. Even as he reads the 'back to school' email their head of house sent earlier this morning, the white bubbles with their texts make him smile.