Sinking into Haruka’s bean bag chair I sat and waited for her to get out of the bath. We needed to talk and clear our minds. I also needed a way to get her to drop the hickey business.

  Haruka was shorter than me and so the pajamas she handed me did not quite fit, the top was more like a crop top and it did not help that the mark Saito-san left me was like a flashing red light if I lifted my arms even slightly.

  I sighed hoping that the relationship I had with Haruka would not be significantly affected by tonight’s nonsense. Using the time I had alone I tried to clear my thoughts and calm down.

  About 10 minutes passed and I heard soft footsteps approaching the room. Haruka peeked her head around the door, her hair not even dry, dripping water all over the floor. She had a stupid smirk on her face as if the last 20 minutes didn’t happen.

  “So hey” She started the conversation first which I appreciated because I did not want to be the one to talk.

  “Hey”

  “About earlier… I’m really sorry Sei-chan, I was out of line and I should have noticed you were uncomfortable, please forgive me”

  She bowed her head swinging her hair forward, she clearly forgot she just got out of the bath as she covered the room in a curtain of water droplets. It was just like her. Not a care in the world and it made me happy to see her just the same as ever, how could I possibly hold a grudge when she acts like this?

  Letting out a small giggle I told her to lift her head and that I did in fact forgive her. I also asked her not to mention the “bruise” on my tummy anymore and she nodded in confirmation.

  I was glad to have this awkward conflict with Haruka because Haruka always understood me the best and she was always the one that calmed me down whenever my head started bouncing.

  After we made up we spent the night watching terrible videos on the internet and reading manga. I was starting to get really into the one I had picked out even if it was a ridiculous comedy with circumstances that would never occur in real life.

  It was soon time for bed and Haruka pulled out two separate futons. She had a bed of her own but whenever I stayed over she would sleep on the floor with me. Maybe it was part of her fondness for me or she was just being kind. We lay down, said goodnight and drifted off.

  ?

  I found myself back here in this poorly lit room. It was cold, dark and dirty. The place I was talking about of course was the old gymnasium store room where I agreed to meet Saito-san whenever we could.

  On my back in an all too familiar situation Saito-san was sitting atop of me, pinning my body to the floor unable to move. I didn’t struggle like before, instead my body seemed to move on its own as I reached out with my arms and gripped Saito-san’s waist, her hands serpentined under my top lifting it slowly as she slid over my soft skin.

  Twitching, my body reacted on its own as Saito-san’s gentle touch caressed my body. I couldn’t look away from her but I didn’t want to keep staring either, what was this feeling?

  I couldn’t see my face right now but I knew I was blushed and flustered. Saito-san kept moving her hands as if touching something so delicate it would shatter at a wrong look.

  She brought her face to the side of my own and whispered deep into my ear, the penetrating words rung in my head causing the heat on my face to rise.

  “You’re usually so composed Shiori-san, but seeing you like this underneath me just makes me want to break you”

  Reacting on its own betraying any intentions I might have had to hide my pleasure, my body quivered as her fingertips glided along my delicate skin. She started at my waist, her fingers inching up and across my belly. The sensation stole one of my breaths but she didn’t stop. Her gentle caresses were getting closer to my chest.

  I gazed into her all consuming eyes while wanting something more, I needed something more, the heat building up inside of me was too much. I moaned her name and pleaded with my eyes hoping she would do something to take away this feeling. Her touch was sending pulses throughout my body, it was firm but delicate and filled with care.

  I started to lean into her and wrapped my arms behind her neck as my face approached hers. Just as we were about to touch I could hear a faint voice calling my name…

  “Sei-chan~” It was quiet and distant but as soon as I heard it I was pulled away, I could see the image of me and Saito-san drifting further and further.

  Then I heard it more clearly.

  “Sei-chan, wake up!” I could feel my body being shaken and when I heard my name for the second time I snapped up.

  “Thank goodness, It looked like you were having a nightmare. You wouldn't stop groaning and shaking. Your face is red too, is everything alright? Are you ill?”

  It… It was a dream.

  I had awoken to Haruka’s overly concerned voice as she was pulling on my sleeping body to wake me.

  Trying to catch my breath and my thoughts I realised I had just dreamed something like that… with Saito-san!? There was no way I just had my first dream like that, and it was with Saito-san of all people. I felt ashamed and cursed at myself after what I had just dreamt. Never would I have ever thought I of all people would experience something like that. I was stunned and found myself lost for actions. At least Haruka didn’t seem to notice what was going on.

  This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

  “I’m… I’m fine, just a little shook, you don’t need to worry about me Haruka”

  Without saying a word, Haruka took the backside of her hand and placed it against my forehead. She was warm and it was uncomfortable, I gently lowered her hand away and gave her a reassuring look.

  “You’re hot. Are you sure you are okay? You’re not ill?”

  By this point Haruka’s eyes were shining with concern and she looked like a puppy worried for her owner’s health. It was kind of cute.

  “I am okay, I promise. It was just a bad dream. I need to go for a moment, I will be back in a bit. Get yourself some rest.”

  After reassuring her I left for the bathroom and a while later I found myself in the kitchen with a glass of water. I needed to drink something cold to calm myself down.

  “I can’t believe this.” I lamented to myself.

  After thinking about it for a few minutes a grin formed on my face and I started to giggle out loud.

  “She took another of my firsts.”

  It was becoming a common occurrence that not only would Saito-san find her way intertwining my thoughts but she also had a habit of taking away all my precious firsts.

  I didn’t particularly mind that it was Saito-san, it was certainly a shock and beyond what I imagined these moments to be like. The question arose of how I would face Saito-san now? It was incredibly embarrassing to dream of someone like that, not to mention the very person that was blackmailing me and had assaulted me on multiple occasions.

  It was starting to concern me that maybe I was not normal.

  Not wanting to dwell on these thoughts any longer I returned to Haruka’s bedroom and to my surprise she was actually asleep. I thought for sure she would stay up to make sure I was okay but she must have been exhausted.

  I lay back down in the futon next to Haruka and closed my eyes waiting for the dawn of the next day to come running.

  ?

  Forgoing my usual 6:00am ritual as I was at Haruka's house we set off for school at a normal time.

  The moment we got to the homeroom I scanned the room looking for Saito-san, it had become a sort of habit for me to check if she was at school, it was not long till I found her sulking in her usual spot near the rear window. She was staring out into the empty space, her face unreadable.

  Just as I was peering at her she looked at me and our eyes met for a single moment, just as they did images of last night's dream flashed in front of me and impulsively I snapped my head away so she couldn't see my face.

  I was embarrassed.

  As I turned I noticed something rather peculiar, I was not the only one looking at Saito-san. Haruka appeared to be glaring at her with an expression on her face I had never seen before. Apparently I was not the only one who noticed.

  “Haruka-chan?”

  Arima had noticed Haruka gazing away and not being a part of the conversation. It wasn’t normal for her to zone out when we were all talking so it was no surprise Arima took up concern. She grabbed Haruka’s shoulder and gave it a small tug.

  As if waking up from a dream, Haruka shook her head and slapped her cheeks.

  “Sorry everyone, I was zoning out there, what?”

  “Jeez you're such an airhead” Arima said giggling to herself, I joined in not wanting them to realise I had also been zoning out and had zero idea what they had been talking about previously.

  “We were just talking about…” Hamada went on to explain what they had just been conversing about.

  I had no interest in their conversation as all my thoughts were still about the dream I had last night and how I knew I would not be able to avoid Saito-san. That was until I felt a sharp prodding in my waist. Haruka’s doing. Clearly I was supposed to be listening to this part of the conversation.

  “So what do you think Shiori-san, are you going to look for him?” Arima asked me.

  I hadn’t been listening at all and I had no idea what they were talking about. Meet who? Why?

  “Sorry, what are we talking about?”

  “You too Shiori-san? Jeez what’s gotten into you two today? I was saying Nakamura-san from class 2-B was looking for you, he asked me personally if I could get you to meet him later.”

  “What, why?”

  “Are you acting dense or just stupid? You know he’s had a crush on you since first year right?”

  “I did not know that… Wait, you think he wants to confess?”

  “That is what I assumed. So, are you going to meet him?”

  “When and where?”

  “Behind the sports building just after school finishes” Arima said with a beaming smile. She wasn’t the type to hide what she was thinking.

  “Don’t give me that look, I am just going to turn him down and leave.”

  “You are so boring Shiori, it wouldn’t hurt to get a little romantic experience before college you know?”

  “I do not have time for it, nor do I care.”

  The group collectively sighed at me as if I had said something unforgivable. But it was true, I never had any intentions of getting into a relationship, it would only complicate my life and my life was already full of enough of those trying to make sure my parents, my teachers and the onlookers were appeased.

  “You all might get to live a normal life but I don't” I thought to myself. It was a little bitter and my thoughts were full of an emotion I encountered from time to time. Resentment. It was not strong enough that I could come to hate my friends but I still resented those around me who could live such carefree and personal lives. There was a fine line between envy and resentment and occasionally I would cross it.

  I did not want to have these negative feelings, especially for those who I cared for like my friends but there was no stopping them. My parents would pressure me to be more like my sister; she was a perfect student, a beauty like no other and she was engaged. She had jobs lined up for her, people begging to be her acquaintance.

  What made it all worse was that my parents meant well, they just wanted me to have a better life, like my sister. So I wasn’t allowed to blame them or hate them because it was all for my sake. Who was I to disappoint them? They raised me, gave me everything I have today and I knew it, they made sure I knew it. It was only right that I become someone else for them, the person they wanted me to be.