I should really stop doing acid after my shows.

  I pried my eyes open, expecting to at least see the cool blue tone of my apartment’s ceiling staring back at me, but it wasn’t there this time. Instead, a cloudless blue sky smiled warmly down on me as if I were one of her hippie nature worshippers.

  Great. So, nobody had the decency to at least toss me somewhere near my house when I passed out, eh? Some friends I had.

  Steel creaked as I forced myself back on my feet, feeling warm metal wrap around my body cosily. The sun was still glaringly bright, but I felt oddly comfortable, as though my city-honed body had somehow gotten used to the harsh outside overnight.

  The familiar hue of grey armour greeted me as I inspected my clothes. Whoever put me in this cosplay and stranded me in the middle of the forest had apparently done a marvellous job at replicating my in-game armour. Must have been one of my die-hard fans.

  My head was still spinning like an uncontrolled top, so I decided to do one of those first-aid self-awareness tests on myself. What was the first question again? Oh, right.

  What’s your name?

  Easy. Warren Alexandre, Chief Executive Officer at Riptide Incorporated. Alright, what’s next?

  What were you doing?

  I have to admit, I racked my brain for this one. The last thing I remembered was playing an online game in my apartment. Not just any game, though. I actually developed this one myself. Or at least, my employees did.

  Personally, I had no IT knowledge whatsoever; I only took over this company for a friend who had decided to ditch it and pursue other ventures. Entertaining people online with fun engineering experiments was my forté, not coding for hours on end for a game. What do you think I am, some kind of chronically online loser?

  Do you remember how you got here?

  Now that I think about it, I definitely wasn’t doing acid when I got here. In fact, I was actually being a good boy for once this time. It was thundering and pouring out after the public showcase of my game, so I just went home and hopped online to make sure my character didn’t get jumped by goblins while I was gone. But speaking of which…

  I took a good look at my surroundings again. Hold on, I recognised this place. I was in one of the starting areas in the game. A stray breeze hit me as something unfurled from my back. I gasped.

  Wings. Real, honest-to-God, dove wings.

  The revelation hit me like a truck. It must have been loaded with gas because my mind shook from the explosion that followed. It couldn’t be, right? No way, this was the wet dream of some nerd gamer, not mine. But the evidence was as clear as day, and I wasn’t high enough to ignore it.

  Somehow, I had been transported into the game world of ‘NULL’. And I was in the body of the character I created in the game: a Winged Human Warrior.

  “Help! Somebody, help!”

  I swear these things only happen when you’re stuck in the middle of the forest, wondering how the hell to get back home. I turned away from the screaming woman—

  “Help, Mister Warrior! Skill Issue Eighty-Seven! Help me!”

  A chortle escaped my lips as I shook my head. Skill Issue Eighty-Seven? What kind of idiot would name themselves that?

  “Hoho, so you want a piece of that, too?” The growling voice was obviously directed towards me this time, so I turned around.

  And wished I had not.

  ‘Hideous’ would be a compliment to the three men standing before me. The smallest one looked like he had a steady diet of five horses and a chicken every day, and the largest one had multiple scars colliding with each other on his face. I think I’ll call that one ‘Ugly’. The last one was still kicking down a red-haired lady behind them, who looked no older than twenty-five.

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  “Hey, brother. This one’s a Warrior,” Fat man sneered, pointing straight at the axe slung behind my back. I drew the weapon just in case.

  “Woah, he wants to fight, eh?” Ugly said as his eyes drifted down to the nametag on my armour. “Skill_Issue87. I’ll be sure they get your name right at the funeral.”

  “Oh yeah? You gonna cry when they read my eulogy?” The words spilt out of my mouth before I could stop them. Damn it, I knew that mouth of mine was going to be the death of me someday.

  “No, but mayhaps I’ll scribble some words onto your tombstone. That ought to teach your fellow guild members not to go sticking their noses where they should not.”

  The axe shivered in my trembling hands as I continued staring at the men, as though I could somehow convince them to leave just by looking. Didn’t they know who I was? I’m the master of their universe, damn it! I was their God—

  Wait, I am.

  Confidence flooded back into me. I’ve always had the God mode cheat turned on during my game showcases. No reason why it should be turned off right now. So the only problem I had now was to get the last guy to stop assaulting the woman and face me instead.

  I steadied my breath. Alright… first step, generate enmity. So I puffed my chest and stomped the ground like a gorilla.

  Fat load of good that did.

  The men continued staring at me as if waiting for me to begin something. Well, at least they were polite like that. I racked my brains for a solid minute before settling for what would’ve worked in real life.

  “Oi, shithead!” I yelled, jabbing a finger at them. “Fuck you and your mom!”

  Hoo boy, that did the trick.

  The rest of the men immediately charged at me as though I had insulted their maternal figures as well. Metal clanged as my axe met the ends of their fists.

  I slowly backed away, trying not to think too much about how their bare hands weren’t already chopped off by now, or how the sound effects did not make physical sense. As far as I was concerned, I was swinging my weapon wildly. And yet, there seemed to be some finesse in my movements, as though I had been practising for at least a good two months.

  A combination of four fists and a muscled leg cut off my short-lived euphoria abruptly. I tumbled to the ground, panting for more air as my vision blurred. Bloody hell, that stung.

  My cheats. My damned cheats had abandoned me. Somehow, I didn’t have my God mode, even though I was sure I never turned it off whenever I played the game. Shadow darkened as footsteps closed in on me.

  Damn it. If only I had bought a level skip back then, these thugs would be down in a minute. If only I had bothered to actually learn to play the game properly, I wouldn’t be stuck in this predicament right now.

  Here I lay, Warren Alexandre, owner of NULL, beaten to death because I was too much of a cheapo to spend time and money on my own products. Hell, my gamer tag itself would suffice to describe my cause of death.

  It would have all been hilarious if it weren’t for my imminent doom.

  No, this was just the panic talking. Come on, Warren. There must be some way out of this. Maybe talk it out with them? Nah, don’t think they’re in the mood for a cuppa bevvy right now. Maybe beg for mercy? That might work, if I hadn’t already insulted their mothers.

  A small crack in a nearby hut caught my attention. It was subtle, but it was as wide as a cavern to a professional engineer like me. My eyes darted from the structurally weakened beam to the huge piece of loosened log in front of it. Hope blossomed in my heart, although nervousness froze it. If I screwed up the timing, I’m a dead-winged man anyway.

  “H-hey, let’s just chill and talk this out, alright?” I put my hands in front of my body, slowly backing towards the weakened beam. “Why are you so angry at that woman? Look at her. She’s pathetic, and so am I. Any chance you could just… You know, forget about all this?”

  “Forget about it?” Ugly growled. “She sold me defective flowers! The maiden I fancied threw them away and slapped me when I asked for her hand. It must have been because those flowers were terrible! Why would anyone reject someone as handsome as me? It’s because of her that I remain maidenless!”

  My back bumped against wood. Good, no need to put up a show anymore.

  “Yeah… Well, you have a face only a mother would love.” The smirk returned to my face. “Maybe you should go home and cry to her about it.”

  Ugly froze for a few seconds to process what I just said before realisation dawned on his face. He snarled, raising his fist for what looked like a full-powered punch.

  I ducked.

  Sure enough, wood crashed all around me as his fist drove cleanly through the beam. I dived for cover, making sure that the loosened piece of log crashed into the three men before scurrying back to my feet.

  “What’re you waiting for?” I yelled at the stunned lady. “Run, woman! Run!”

  ~ ~ ~

  TO BE CONTINUED...