This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

  I sat at our very round, very perfect, shiny wooden table. My eyes were downcast, refusing to look at anyone. A wooden cross was dropped in front of me. The light reflected off of it like it was glazed over with very sturdy plastic. I felt like it was mocking me.

  My mother dropped a dense book on the table next, but I already knew what book it was before the item was thrust into my face. Even though it was nighttime I could still hear the cars honking and people yelling at each other through my kitchen window. I was faintly shaking, maybe trembling?

  I couldn’t remember. “Why did you grab that?” I asked with as much strength as I could muster.

  “You know why, Anna.” My father spat out. “Where did we go wrong Emma?” He asked turning to my mother.

  “Maybe we should hear her out Xavier.” My dear mother tried to reason.

  “What more is there to explain? Our daughter is a freak!” He slightly raised his voice. “We’ve FAILED. This isn’t what Christ would want! How the HELL are we supposed to get there now?! Our daughter is mental! Maybe we outta beat some sense into this girl!” If I wasn’t looking, I would’ve missed the way my mom flinched when Xavier raised his voice.

  I doubt she processed what was really happening though. Every time Xavier would tell her to do something, she’d follow mindlessly, like a goddamn zombie. And every time she listened well enough, she would get rewarded with some Coke. You would think she would catch on sooner rather than later.

  “No you didn’t.” I said, anger seeping into my tone like poison. Xavier turned towards me, the shadows of the kitchen light casting a dangerous shadow over his face. “Aren’t you guys supposed to be my PARENTS? Aren’t you guys supposed to love me no matter what?” My voice shook.

  “Well it’s hard to do that when your child is an abomination.” Silence. The whole place seemed to have died.

  Abomination, they would say. A mistake, they would say. I knew that in the past my mother had some issues with getting pregnant and I was sorta the miracle child. Xavier wouldn’t stop muttering about how Christ wouldn’t accept this. How we were all going to hell. More silence after he started reading the Bible. Then he started getting on his knees and praying in Spanish.

  All hell broke loose. There was some yelling and screaming. Xavier grabbing more alcohol then usual and getting on his knees and hands, reciting what felt like the whole bible in Spanish. I blinked back tears when I got to the room I used to call home. A bag. I needed a bag. I cant stay here any longer.

  I was halfway to the door when I felt a hand on the back of my bag. I was forcefully turned around and was met with Xavier’s look of pure fucking rage an fear. The type that made him go haywire and want to hit something. His preference was me. He raised his hand to me, but I punched him square in the fucking face. He stumbled back, crimson red dripping from his nose and onto the floor. “No te soporto.” I can’t stand you.

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  The words spilled out of me, but I wasn’t scared. I felt free. I didn’t look back. Not once. I rounded the corner and got onto the street I knew like the back of my own hand. I didn’t remember if I was walking, running, or crawling. All I knew was when the little house that was slightly rusted with the big red roof came into view, and my best friend opened the door, I felt safe.

  I didn’t even have to tell her what was going on, Eva - who was a few inches shorter than me - made me feel like I was protected with one hug. She brought me inside and let me explain everything. There was definitely some crying. I think.

  I don’t even know when her mom and dad got there, but I was ushered into Evas room after a big bowel of hot soup and a few pieces of toast, and fell asleep within a heartbeat.

  In that moment I didn’t care how I looked or smelled. I was too tired to care. Every once in a while Eva would wake me up by giving me a new dressing on my cut wound. Even after telling her multiple times I was capable of doing it myself, she just told me that it’s ok to have other people care for you.

  The next few days went like that. Me crying, Eva and her family comforting me. Her family making us food and watching some of our favorite movies that made us laugh ‘till we cried.

  Until I insisted on not wanting to freeload off of them. I was packing my things when Eva came and knocked on the door.

  “It’s your room E.” I glanced at her to find Eva already in the room.                        “It’s common courtesy.” She shrugged scratching her face. She looked at me with glazed over eyes and sighed. “You know we really don’t find takin’ care of ya right? You’re family.” She added softly.

  I looked at her. Really looked at her. After everything we’ve been through, after all of the breakups and breakdowns, the highs and lows, I was leaving. Guilt crawled into my gut and up my throat. “It’s not that. I just cant be here anymore E. You know that.” She hesitantly nodded.

  “What’re you gonna do? And where are you gonna go?” She interrogated.                    “California.” Her eyes widened slightly. “I’m gonna legally change my name. I’m eighteen. Nobody can stop me.” I sighed and slug my bad over my shoulder. “Gonna go to med school ace all of my classes, gonna become one of the greatest ER docs.” I scratched my eyebrow and looked at her. “I’ve already got into the collage up there.” A single tear rolled down her face. I was quick to wipe it away. “I just need time.”

  She sniffled. “I get it. Come back soon though ok?” She bear hugged me. “Your limit is before we turn forty.” I could just feel her smile. “You come back to me ok.” I looked down at her.

  “Well, duh?” I raised an eyebrow.

  “Shut up.” She said softly. I gave her a warm smile.

  “I’ll be back E.” I whispered when I was looking up at her through her window. “I promise.” Before I walked down the street and to the bus stop, I faintly wondered how the others were going to take it.