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Chapter Twenty: Fugitive Waters

  After that day, Mother fell ill.

  Dòu Zhāo was very worried and accompanied his mother every day.

  Mother smiled and patted her head: "Mom's fine, she'll be okay soon. You go play by yourself!" But her face was getting paler day by day.

  Her father came to see her.

  Mother took Father's hand.

  His father's fingers were long and white, with distinct joints, straight as a jade bamboo.

  "I love the way you smile." The mother placed her father's hand on her face, "Every time you look at me and smile, I think to myself, how can someone smile so happily, so carefree? It's as if the warm sunshine of spring makes one's heart feel warm too."

  "The doctor said your pulse is normal and calm, just rest well and you'll be fine soon." Father's eyes turned red, "When you're better, I'll smile for you to see every day."

  "Fool!" His mother smiled, her eyes looking at him like a mischievous child, with a hint of doting, "When two people are together, they laugh because they're happy. If you're not happy, you can't laugh naturally. Don't force yourself."

  Father was taken aback.

  "Mother smiled and said: 'I just wanted you to come and apologize to me. You left me and I didn't live well at all.'"

  Father was shocked, then smiled awkwardly: "You ignore me, I'm very unaccustomed."

  "I'm not by your side, you're just not used to it!" The mother joked with a smile, her eyes extremely tolerant and calm, but her voice gradually lowered. "I thought that only when I was by your side would you laugh so happily. It turns out that others can also make you laugh as heartily as I do..."

  His father didn't hear clearly what his mother said, he leaned over his mother's bed and asked softly: "What did you say?"

  "Nothing!" Mother smiled, "Just a bit tired!"

  "Then say less." Father held mother's hand, "I'll stay with you here until you fall asleep before I leave."

  Her mother nodded and closed her eyes, soon falling asleep.

  Dong Zhaorun rushed out from behind the wall and slammed the small sandbag on the hot kang to the ground.

  What is this?

  Are things back to normal?

  A sudden thought flashed through his mind and he felt a chill run down his spine.

  What can be done about it?

  She's still missing a little brother!

  But why did she feel like her heart was being grasped by a pair of hands, making her chest feel stuffy?

  Dong Zhao sat stupidly on the edge of the kang.

  Father came out of the inner room, saw Dou Zhao, his footsteps slightly paused, turned around and sat beside her: "Shou girl, everyone praises you for being clever, saying that you can now say very long sentences in one breath, say one to me?"

  Dòu Zhāo glanced at his father and lowered his head to play with the sandbag in his hand.

  His father smiled kindly and said: "This sandbag is made very skillfully, who helped you make it?"

  Dong Zhao still ignored him.

  Father didn't take it seriously and chuckled as he hugged Dou Zhao: "Come on, Daddy will teach you how to write!"

  "I don't like writing," Dou Zhao said rebelliously. "I want to go swing on the swings!"

  "Good!" said Father with a smile, "Let's go swing."

  The backyard still has lush vegetation competing for beauty.

  Dong Shao and his father played the swing together, and his mood gradually improved.

  Maybe mother is right.

  Take the initiative to compromise, keep Father at home... it's better than continuing this cold war, can't even find a way out.

  She felt better when she saw her father.

  "Dad, row faster!"

  "Good!"

  Her father swung her up into mid-air.

  She was like a leaf on the wind, and every blade of grass and tree in the courtyard seemed to grow larger or smaller under her feet. She saw someone washing clothes by the well in the west wing, saw Old Lady Ding scolding a little maid under the eaves, saw that her mother's courtyard was quiet and deserted... It was as if everything around her was within her gaze. The feeling was wonderfully strange and interesting.

  Dou Zhao's laughter fell like pearls on a jade plate, crisp and pleasant to hear.

  His father also raised his eyebrows and smiled.

  Only Tuo Niang rushed out foolishly, blocking Du Shiying's way: "Seventh Master, it's too high, Fourth Miss will fall down, please put her down quickly!"

  Dou Shiying recognized Tuo Niang, smiled and said: "I didn't expect you to be a loyal and devoted person!" Without scolding her, he bypassed her and pushed Dou Zhao, who was sitting on the swing, out again with great force.

  The young lady was so anxious that she was sweating all over her head.

  Dou Shao was enjoying Tao Niang's concern and smiled very happily.

  She saw Yu's mother rush out of her mother's house, stand on the steps of the eaves and shout, originally invisible maidservants and daughter-in-laws surged over like a tide and scattered in all directions, the scene looked a bit chaotic.

  What's wrong?

  When the swing swung again, Du Zhao stretched his neck towards Zhengyuan.

  The little maids were still in disarray, but Yu Niang was nowhere to be seen.

  Dou Zhao's heart was filled with doubts, and he ordered his father: "Stop, stop."

  Father pulled the swing and laughed: "It turns out that our Shou girl is a coward."

  Dong Zhao didn't argue with him, just as his foot touched the ground, Yu Niangniang rushed over with a pale face and panting.

  "Seventh Master," she said with tears in her eyes, which were red and puffy as if she was about to burst into tears, "Seventh Madam... Seventh Madam... hanged herself!"

  "What did you say?" His father's eyes widened, a frozen smile on his face. "Who? Who hanged himself!"

  "Seventh Granny, Seventh Granny..." Yu's nanny cried, her legs went soft and she knelt on the ground, "Seventh Granny hanged herself..."

  Dong Shiying looked around in dismay.

  Seeing his daughter standing motionless beside him as if she had been put under a petrifying spell, he felt a little bit of reality.

  "How could this be... just a moment ago, everything was fine..." He muttered to himself, his tall figure suddenly shrinking by several inches, his face as pale as gold paper, his lips white and trembling uncontrollably.

  Dou Zhao had already lost his ability to speak, and his mind was racing with thoughts that were as loud as thunder.

  Why does mother still have to die?

  Wang Yingshuai isn't becoming a concubine?

  Even if she gave birth to a son, he would still be an illegitimate eldest son...

  Why does mother still have to die?

  Then what's the point of her coming back?

  Dou Zhaoyu tightly pursed her lips, and her small hands clenched into fists.

  The warm sunshine of spring shines quietly on the two mud-made people, big and small, only the swing is still swaying, attracting a few colorful butterflies to dance around it, competing for fragrance.

  ※※※※※

  Dou Zhao wore a coarse hemp mourning robe, with a dull expression kneeling in front of the coffin, mechanically knocking his head in response to the chanting and wailing.

  Mother died by hanging herself, can't be considered a blessing of longevity and return, and there are elders in the hall, at most only 35 days of Buddhist rituals can be done.

  There was no one in charge at home, so Grandfather asked Third Uncle and Third Aunt to help with Mother's funeral. He even gave her the nanmu coffin he had prepared for himself.

  Those who came to mourn lit incense and couldn't help but ask about the cause of death.

  The Duan family told outsiders that he had died of a sudden illness, and everyone who heard the news shed tears: "He wasn't even twenty years old yet!"

  Dou Zhao's eyes immediately turned red.

  Yes, how could she have forgotten? Her mother was her mother, but still under twenty years old!

  She didn't understand until she was thirty years old, how can you expect a twenty-year-old mother to figure it out?

  Some wounds are buried deep in the heart, even if they are bloody and mangled, there is no visible scar on the surface.

  Mother, have you ever truly felt at ease, have you ever truly let go?

  Dòu Zhāo Cháo faced each other from afar.

  His father was dressed in plain white clothes, his face turned pale, with deep eye sockets, looking extremely haggard.

  He was kneeling in front of the incense burner, burning paper money for his mother one by one, with a serious and devout expression, as if he was holding a sacred tablet.

  Wang Yingshuai, with red eyes, walked over and knelt down beside her father. Silently, she picked up a stack of paper money from the side, tore it open sheet by sheet, and threw it into the incense burner together with her father.

  "Seventh Uncle!" Her voice was hoarse, with a hint of choking, "You've been kneeling here for a whole day and night, if you keep going on like this, your body will collapse... Sister's funeral is still counting on you to take care of it!"

  The father did not make a sound, gently pulled the paper money from Wang Yingshuang's hand and continued to burn it.

  Wang Yingshu's face flashed a hint of embarrassment, and she knelt there for a long time. Her father didn't even glance at her. Her eyes dimmed slightly as she quietly retreated.

  Sixth Uncle walked over and grasped Father's arm: "Wanyuan, don't be like this. The deceased is gone, the living should take care of themselves."

  Father refused to get up.

  In front of his good friends and cousins, he burst into tears: "I promised Gu Qiu that we would have five sons and three daughters... Now she's gone, but there isn't even anyone to mourn her... Just let me burn a few more sheets of paper money for her... My heart is really in pain..."

  Sixth Uncle stomped his foot, but his eyes welled up with tears: "You're heartbroken now, but this isn't the time!" He said, his voice sinking, "Rui Fu is back! He didn't participate in the Imperial Examination..."

  Dòu Zhāo raised his head.

  Rui Fu is her uncle Zhao Si's courtesy name.

  "Calculating the time, he should be arriving soon." Sixth Uncle's voice was bitter. "When you see Rui Fu later, have you thought about what to say? Third Brother and the others are all in Young Master's study. We need to discuss this beforehand and come up with a unified story..."

  "What's the point of saying anything?" Father muttered, his mind still wandering in a daze. "It's all my fault... When Yu Niang said she wanted to hang herself that time, I thought she was just trying to blackmail me... But it turns out she was really heartbroken and desperate... And I had no idea, I was even gloating, thinking I had won... She said, wait for me to apologize, want me to admit, that I didn't do well after leaving her...". He burst into tears in front of his wife's spirit, "I didn't know it would be like this, really didn't know it would be like this... I promised my brother-in-law that I would take good care of Gu Yu, would be good to Gu Yu for the rest of my life... But I was insincere... She said I was despicable... Not a single word was wrong..."

  "Ten thousand, ten thousand!" Sixth Uncle wiped the corner of his eyes with the back of his hand and pulled Father up with force. "These things can be talked about later. The most important thing now is to give Rui Fu an explanation. You can't just do things on impulse."

  Father shook his head and said in a tone as if he was already dead: "It's me who owes Gu Yu, after I've finished dealing with Gu Yu's funeral, whatever he wants to do with me is fine!"

  The sixth uncle was furious and shouted for two young servants to come in, who then carried Father away to the Crane Longevity Hall.

  Dong Zhaorun ran out.

  Wang Yingshu stood under the magnolia tree outside the mourning hall, staring blankly at the receding figures of her father and Sixth Uncle.

  Dong Zhao shouted at her: "Wang Yiniang!"

  Wang Yingshu turned around and glanced at the maid outside the spiritual hall, then walked over with a polite smile: "Shougu, what's going on?" Her tone was gentle.

  "You must be eager to have a son, right?" Dou Zhao raised her head, her dark eyes staring steadily into hers, saying in a voice that only the two of them could hear, "However, unfortunately, this child you're carrying is a daughter! After the mourning period is over and the new mistress enters the household, I wonder if she'll be as easy to talk to as my mother?"

  "You..." Wang Yingshuang was shocked and terrified, backing away repeatedly, staring at her with eyes that seemed to have seen a monster.

  Dòu Zhāo was very satisfied.

  She coldly curled her lip and walked past her with a relaxed posture.

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